Jana 7: Home Sweet TTH

[nausicaa]

Josh announced on their first special that he wanted to go to law school. Josiah wanted to be an accountant. Jill, a nurse. And either Jinger or Jessa wanted to be a hairdresser. 

All attainable, respectable professions. Kids change their minds, but it's seems suspect that every.single.one changed their minds in a way that toes the party line. 

Like @libgirl2, I would feel bad for Josh if he weren't such a douche nozzle. The dude hates the hobbled life his parents and the show forced him into. I'd hate it too. 

[tabitha2]

There are a good number of fundie lawyers, nurses and accountants. More likely they were convinced that being on TV is there real Job.

[HarryPotterFan]

2 hours ago, Pecansforeveryone said:

@Gobsmacked, I had heard rumors of Josh wanting to attend law school. I honestly think he is the Digger child who wanted to break free of Duggarville, attend college, and other "worldly" pursuits we keep hoping his siblings will pursue. Sorry Free Jinger, I actually think Josh is the least fundie of the older children. Of hes a giant sack of poo, regardless. 

I’m torn between the thoughts that they married him young to keep him in the fold more so than the other sibs because he seems to have more desire for “wordly” things...But then he’s also too lazy to try and earn a living outside the family business. Having JB and Michelle as role models probably didn’t help ingrain the message that hardwork is important. I agree he hates the life. Maybe without the show he would have broken away because he’d lose that incentive to stay. But yeah, it’s hard to feel bad for a turd.

50 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

And the million $ question, I wonder how Jill feels about that? Had she been born into the Dillard or Burnett families, she might be a nurse right now. Education provides options which are something None of the G2 Duggars have readily had.

D3 will have worse options, I fear. They will be taught by mothers who were barely educated. We can see how Jill struggles to put a coherent sentence together. We can see what happens when a barely educated homeschooler tries to home school when we look at JRod’s brood. When we see glimpses of her eldest child’s, Nurie, writing it’s just sad. She’s 19 and writes like a child, and spells like one too. It’s not Nurie’a fault. But then she’ll be expected to homeschool her future children. The literacy level is just going to get worse in that family, and I can see that happening with the Duggars as well.

[SassyPants]

2 hours ago, tabitha2 said:

There are a good number of fundie lawyers, nurses and accountants. More likely they were convinced that being on TV is there real Job.

A default lifestyle because there are no other true options to currently support themselves.

[Anna Bolinas]

4 hours ago, HarryPotterFan said:

I’m torn between the thoughts that they married him young to keep him in the fold more so than the other sibs because he seems to have more desire for “wordly” things...But then he’s also too lazy to try and earn a living outside the family business. Having JB and Michelle as role models probably didn’t help ingrain the message that hardwork is important. I agree he hates the life. Maybe without the show he would have broken away because he’d lose that incentive to stay. But yeah, it’s hard to feel bad for a turd.

Honestly, he always struck me as someone who was perfectly happy to be a fundie, so long as his desire to indulge in "worldliness" was excused. And for a long time, all his indiscretions were excused. He got to be a fundie darling, have a perfect fundie wife and perfect fundie family, and still have "fun" on the side. If the scandals hadn't broken, I honestly think he'd be attempting to break into politics and would still be the same smug, condescending asshole from the early Duggar specials. I feel like he's annoyed now that he got caught and he can't reap the benefits of both the fundie and non-fundie worlds. So now he's just sulking around because he's a punchline at best to non-fundie people and a liability to fundies who want to present a pretty face to the outside world.

[luv2laugh]

With Jana baking all of that bread for the whole family, I'm left to wonder WHAT DOES MICHELLE DO ALL DAY?

I'm not surprised Jana is not in a rush to have a quiverfull of children... She already has a quiverfull of children she's raising...

Perhaps Jana finds it too hard, emotionally, to marry and live away from her children?

I think Jana wants to get married but is selective about it as it's going to have to be a good enough person for her to leave her children. There's a chance she might not marry until Josie becomes a teenager.

[QuiverDance]

15 hours ago, libgirl2 said:

I remember Jill wanting to be a nurse. Sorry ladies.... housewives and mothers is all you are going to be. And the men..... ministering for Jesus! Derick is a d--- but if he does manage to get a law degree, its more than the others have gotten. 

Unfortunately getting a law degree is the easy part. Using it and actually making money is much more difficult !

[Thumper]

I believe many of the kids would have gone on to careers had it not been for the gobs of TLC cash. The money let Jim Bob double down on his beliefs and validate his already out of control ego. It gave him far too much power. If he had been a poorer man the kids would have gone the "leave and cleave" route out of necessity. We all see how these fundies change their beliefs on a dime out out of prudence. (Like leaving a birth "up to God" until a girl loses too much blood then medical intervention is OK.)

Most of the other fundie non Duggar families work, both the men and women. JB was ok with Michelle getting her real estate liscense when it benefited him. JB is so controlling he doesn't want the women or men working. An unemployed teen is the prefered son-in-law simply because it is easiest to control him. If JB only had used cars and real estate instead of TLC money I am sure his reasoning would be different.

Thats why we heard the kids talking about what they wanted to be when they were growing up on the specials because there wasnt the big TLC money yet. After the big money came in you never heard another word about it because expectations changed.

[FleeJanaFree]

I think too much emphasis is put on Josh wanting to specifically be a lawyer at, what, 16? I did too at 16! (Spoiler alert: I'm not) Your average 16 year old isn't likely to know what their occupation will be in ten years. Most people I know changed majors a few times. And that's fine and normal.   I have exactly two friends that did what they said they were going to do career-wise in high school. 

Yes it sucks he didn't truly have realistic options, but my sympathy for Josh was dried up when he assaulted five girls (that we know about). 

[SassyPants]

5 hours ago, QuiverDance said:

Unfortunately getting a law degree is the easy part. Using it and actually making money is much more difficult !

I’d say for the Dillards the hardest part will be accepting that for most families, someone within that family needs to have a paying job for about 40 years. A job that will take sustained effort and time away from the family. This is a mostly foreign idea to these folks. 

Adulting is hard and uncomfortable at times.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

1 hour ago, SassyPants said:

I’d say for the Dillards the hardest part will be accepting that for most families, someone within that family needs to have a paying job for about 40 years. A job that will take sustained effort and time away from the family. This is a mostly foreign idea to these folks. 

Adulting is hard and uncomfortable at times.

Derrick knew this.  He may have been trying to escape that fate, but he knew that’s how things work.

Jill will have a rude awakening when she adjusts to him working a full week ... and if it ever comes to it where he tells her they need to be a two income family it will be one rough conversation.   

[AtlanticTug]

13 hours ago, luv2laugh said:

With Jana baking all of that bread for the whole family, I'm left to wonder WHAT DOES MICHELLE DO ALL DAY?
 

Well it's hard work carrying Josie around all day like she's an infant.

[tabitha2]

I have a hunch  Jill would have a slightly easier time adjusting than Princess Jessa. 

[Anna Bolinas]

2 hours ago, tabitha2 said:

I have a hunch  Jill would have a slightly easier time adjusting than Princess Jessa. 

Adjusting to Derick having to be out for a full work week, adjusting to having to get a job, or both? Because Jessa seems to be able to do things without Ben, whereas Jill's entire life seems to revolve around Derick.

Now whether Derick has intentionally fostered that dependence because it makes him feel powerful or whatever, and whether social media can really tell us anything about these people, is all up for debate, but Jessa seems slightly more well-adjusted than Jill.

[tabitha2]

Not just super Jana but also Jill raised that household which presumably took some organizational and management  skills which given they Are Duggars Isn't saying much  but it’s something. Jessa and Jinger seemed to slide through from what we saw.  I know Jill is completely  incompetent And stupid and a waste of space and all her sisters are vastly superior to her in every single respect to many FJ’ers but I don’t think that’s the whole story.

[luv2laugh]

Simply, Jill was a well-adjusted “mother” in the Duggar family. Jill and Jana ran the house. 

Once she married and was thrust into an entirely new environment, she has not coped well and is no longer well-adjusted. Both Jill and Derick appear to be having identity crises. Jill doesn’t know who she is anymore and is dressing differently, possibly to explore and also maybe to be more relatable to heathens Derick is around. 

Perhaps Jill has PPD but we will never know. They never even discussed the traumatic birth of Sam. Traumatic events and births can change people for awhile. Add a JERK of a husband to that and it’s a mess.

Clearly, the change of Duggar “Mother” to Dillard Mother (and wife) has been hard on her.

Jill desperately wants to be loved by and please Derick but he seems impossible to please. Jill won’t ever be happy with him. Jill likely believes that Derick’s unhappiness and bitterness is her fault. 

[bluesargent]

A little off topic, but it seems that the Duggar’s friend Laura (who’s instagram is currently public) was away for something involving interior design this weekend. She captioned her photo with a Joanna Gaines quote. I wonder if it’s possible that they really are involved with the new network! 

[VelociRapture]

2 hours ago, Anna Bolinas said:

Adjusting to Derick having to be out for a full work week, adjusting to having to get a job, or both? Because Jessa seems to be able to do things without Ben, whereas Jill's entire life seems to revolve around Derick.

Now whether Derick has intentionally fostered that dependence because it makes him feel powerful or whatever, and whether social media can really tell us anything about these people, is all up for debate, but Jessa seems slightly more well-adjusted than Jill.

We don’t have confirmation, but I wouldn’t be surprised if some of the dependence is actually caused by a lack of transportation. If they’re a one car household and take turns using the car then that could easily explain why they always seem to be together for errands, etc. 

And this may be an unpopular opinion, but I don’t think Jill would completely suck at working outside the home if she had to or was told to. We saw with her Midwife studies that she has a decent work ethic and that she’s an eager learner with the right conditions. I think it’d definitely be an adjustment for her, but I could also see her doing ok at it* with some time and under the right circumstances.

*If she’s capable of shutting up about Jesus for two seconds. 

13 minutes ago, luv2laugh said:

Simply, Jill was a well-adjusted “mother” in the Duggar family. Jill and Jana ran the house. 

Once she married and was thrust into an entirely new environment, she has not coped well and is no longer well-adjusted. Perhaps she has PPD but we will never know. They never even discussed the traumatic birth of Sam. Traumatic events and births can change people for awhile. Add a JERK of a husband to that and it’s a mess.

Clearly, the change of Duggar “Mother” to Dillard Mother (and wife) has been hard on her.

The bolded is very true. My daughter’s birth was traumatic in the sense that she was premature and needed a short NICU stay (along with a few other things I’ve mentioned on here previously.) I’m feeling more like myself again, but it’s taken close to two years and (at times) a good deal of support from family to get to this point. I could see Jill struggling much more with anything that was traumatic for her for the reasons you mentioned, but also because her family (husband and in-laws included) don’t seem to believe that mental health* is really that important. I doubt she would get much support from any of them beyond being told to pray harder if she ever went to them for help. 

*And I’m not diagnosing her with anything when I say this. Mental health is important of overall well-being for anyone, whether they struggle with mental illness or not.

[socalrules]

As to Jill and Jana running the house, they did what they were asked to do by their parents. All it shows is that they can follow directions. They didn’t make any major decisions. They didn’t set the schedule, decide if the kids should be in activities or make any decisions that couldn’t be made by a nanny. It’s easy to say they were like mothers to their siblings but they never had any of the stresses of being a real mother. They always had their own mother and father who made the ultimate decision when it came to the kids. They always had a sibling to sub out to if they were sick or, like Jill, going through a courtship. I can imagine Jill being overwhelmed when she realized it’s a lot harder when it’s on your own child and you have to do all the work. 

[SassyPants]

In terms of Jana vs Jill...before marriage and what was shown on the Duggars’ former show is that Jill was the most vocal and self assured of the older kids, particularly the girls. If there was a need for a spokesperson for the kids, Jill was the go-to, and Jill seemed to relish and shine in that role. Jana was always Jill’s quiet compadre. As examples of the above: Jill was the spokesperson for the Duggar girls’ last book and Jana had to accompany Jill in both her midwife and first aid/fire brigade endeavors. 

Now let’s compare current Jill to former Jill. Well, that self assured, confident, goal oriented, interested and interesting young woman is no longer visible. Molestation, bad births, scary CA, unemployment, numerous moves...Jill needs to get some real help.

[Sky with diamonds]

35 minutes ago, socalrules said:

As to Jill and Jana running the house, they did what they were asked to do by their parents. All it shows is that they can follow directions. They didn’t make any major decisions. They didn’t set the schedule, decide if the kids should be in activities or make any decisions that couldn’t be made by a nanny. It’s easy to say they were like mothers to their siblings but they never had any of the stresses of being a real mother. They always had their own mother and father who made the ultimate decision when it came to the kids. They always had a sibling to sub out to if they were sick or, like Jill, going through a courtship. I can imagine Jill being overwhelmed when she realized it’s a lot harder when it’s on your own child and you have to do all the work. 

I honestly believe they were not "asked". From a very early age, they were told what to do. 

[Vivi_music]

32 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

In terms of Jana vs Jill...before marriage and what was shown on the Duggars’ former show is that Jill was the most vocal and self assured of the older kids, particularly the girls. If there was a need for a spokesperson for the kids, Jill was the go-to, and Jill seemed to relish and shine in that role. Jana was always Jill’s quiet compadre. As examples of the above: Jill was the spokesperson for the Duggar girls’ last book and Jana had to accompany Jill in both her midwife and first aid/fire brigade endeavors. 

Now let’s compare current Jill to former Jill. Well, that self assured, confident, goal oriented, interested and interesting young woman is no longer visible. Molestation, bad births, scary CA, unemployment, numerous moves...Jill needs to get some real help.

It is true, now going through this thread, that I remember Jana and Jill being like the older pair and Jessa and Jinger being the younger pair. Jana and Jill seemed to have the most responsabilities of the two pairs and yes Jana accompagnied Jill in a lot of things (midwife training, fire departement). Yet now that a lot of the older kids are getting married, moving out, etc, it seems they are not particularly eager to catch up with one another. I see Jessa and Jinger's bond still very strong. I think it was said that they call each other often and Jessa seems to miss Jinger genuinely. 

But I can't seem to remember seeing Jana and Jill often together since Jill moved out. I know Jill isn't on the show anymore but from what we see on social media, she is not being shunned from her family completly. She is seen with her younger siblings often, she posted about visiting Jessa for play dates with the cousins and she was at the TTH for the ugly Christmas sweater thing. But her and Jana together? I can't seem to recall. Yet Jana is seen often with Jessa, even Jinger when she is visiting. It makes me wonder if they were paired together as the eldest sisters but in the end didn't have much in common nor genuinely connected with one another.

[tabitha2]

In that large of a family you naturally have people you are closer to and those not so much and those you have bonded with in different ways. Jana is big sister to the younger girls and Jinger was her first baby so to speak. I am sure she and Jill have a sisterly bond and love each other dearly  but not BFFs .

[Bobology]

25 minutes ago, Vivi_music said:

It makes me wonder if they were paired together as the eldest sisters but in the end didn't have much in common nor genuinely connected with one another.

But, but but... they are ALL each others' best friends!

[Kelsey]

1 hour ago, Vivi_music said:

It makes me wonder if they were paired together as the eldest sisters but in the end didn't have much in common nor genuinely connected with one another.

This question will (likely) be answered when Jana marries. Who does she choose to stand beside her, Jill, Jessa, does she go rogue and choose a non-sister like Laura who appears to be her actual best friend or Anna?