Jinjer 41: Felicity Nicole 8 lb 3 oz

[Coconut Flan]

Continued from here:

Baby is basically due any day now.  Official date is said to be 7/20.  Title will change when baby arrives.  Please do not start new threads.  Thanks!

[SorenaJ]

6 weeks unpaid leave is a joke. I’m so sorry that that’s people’s reality. Honestly that makes me angry. 

[Carm_88]

Jinger can have the baby now. I need a break from Duggar babies!  

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

19 minutes ago, SorenaJ said:

6 weeks unpaid leave is a joke. I’m so sorry that that’s people’s reality. Honestly that makes me angry. 

Welcome to America, the land of "Christian" Values = gun ownership is a God given right, and health care is a privilege.

[Meggo]

43 minutes ago, SorenaJ said:

6 weeks unpaid leave is a joke. I’m so sorry that that’s people’s reality. Honestly that makes me angry. 

It can be less for adoption too - I think I was given 4 weeks. Now - yes, I was not also recovering from childbirth. But there was still this tiny (came home at 5lbs) baby who depended on me for everything. And was fed every three hours like clockwork (because he was a preemie & needed to pack on weight). Like - yes, I likely had it easier than a mom who had just given birth - but SHE actually got time to know it was going to happen. I got a call mid Feb and he came home mid March.

It's just depressing. I ended up leaving my job because using ALL my vacation and benefit time and short term disability - I would have been back to work in mid June. He wasn't even 7lbs yet. So I left.

(and don't regret it for a second - but also acknowledge how lucky I was that it was an option)

[AprilQuilt]

3 hours ago, SorenaJ said:

6 weeks unpaid leave is a joke. I’m so sorry that that’s people’s reality. Honestly that makes me angry. 

agreed. It's inhumane. It's hard to juggle parenthood and a career in the UK, but I see that in the US the choice is so much starker. 

Also absolutely bizarre that a country with such a vocal anti-abortion lobby makes it so very hard to have kids on a practical level.

[Snowless]

Given how crappy parental leave policies are here, it’s any wonder that people are having kids at all.  I know there are lot more factors than that contributing to the current low birth rate in the United States (fallout from the Great Recession, more comprehensive sex education leading to fewer teens getting pregnant, and the financial costs of raising a child in general), but when it’s getting to a point where a woman doesn’t know if she’ll have a job when she returns from maternity leave or when a woman is basically forced out of the labor force to care for a child with little to no compensation (either from the government or from an employer), I bet it makes some women wonder if it’s really worth having children at all.  My mother left the work force entirely from the time when I was born until my brother and I reached school age; my sister-in-law also left the work force entirely when my niece was born and is a stay-at-home mom (although she has been taking some college courses online to try and improve her job prospects whenever she does return to the labor force), although she’s in her 20s (my mom was in her 30s when she had me and then my brother two years later).

37 minutes ago, AprilQuilt said:

Also absolutely bizarre that a country with such a vocal anti-abortion lobby makes it so very hard to have kids on a practical level.

The United States is such an incredible bundle of contradictions, isn’t it?

[louisa05]

Family leave is fucked up for anything in this country. When my dad was in a hospice house dying, my brother's employer at one point ordered him to come back to work. He had had to go through hell including submitting forms from the oncologist to get FMLA while dad was sick. He had to put on those forms what he would actively "do" for dad when he took a day off using FMLA. So once dad was in a hospice house and dying, they determined that my brother wasn't "doing" anything as the staff was caring for dad so he couldn't have the time off. They threatened to suspend him after he went back from his bereavement leave, but our hospice nurse did a great job with the letter she sent on his behalf before the hearing and it all got dismissed. This is a major national railroad. 

On the Catholic school and diversity topic: when I went to Catholic high school, we lived on a farm a half mile outside a town that was eight blocks square. Every kid in the school my parents pulled us out of in that town was a white Protestant. Catholic school was a billion times more diverse. We had a sizable Vietnamese population, some Latino kids, a few African-American kids and a few exchange students each year. 

@Snowless Financial fall out from the Great Recession is exactly the reason we do not have a child. Now that we are finally on firmer ground again, it is biologically too late. 

[SilverBeach]

4 hours ago, Coconut Flan said:

Continued from here:

Baby is basically due any day now.  Official date is said to be 7/20.  Title will change when baby arrives.  Please do not start new threads.  Thanks!

Noooooooo! Any day but 7/20.

[seashell1025]

4 hours ago, SorenaJ said:

6 weeks unpaid leave is a joke. I’m so sorry that that’s people’s reality. Honestly that makes me angry. 

I am a teacher in a charter school in Michigan, and our management company doesn't pay for maternity leave. Now I am far from children considering I don't even have a man in my life lol but I already know that as much as is possible when planning to give birth/get pregnant with a child is that I think I may be having a lot of summertime babies. That way I would still get paid, and not have to deal with a major loss of income during the school year. plus insane students who would do who knows what to my classroom : P 

[Bad Wolf]

I predicted today so get moving, Jinger.  I'm counting it the 18th PDT. Don't care what time it is in TX.

[Ivycoveredtower]

If she's any thing like her sisters she'll go late. I think Jessa was what four days past her due date each time. Jill was way past her due date and I believe Joy went into labor on her due date but had him the next day. 

[Snowless]

8 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

@Snowless Financial fall out from the Great Recession is exactly the reason we do not have a child. Now that we are finally on firmer ground again, it is biologically too late. 

I’m 31 and a caregiver for my mother (who has dementia), which has left with me with no opportunities to date and little opportunity to socialize in person (though social media has been a plus in helping me to reconnect with old friends).  As a result I’ve passed what is likely the most fertile period of my life, but also because of my mom’s condition I am unsure whether I am at risk of developing dementia as well.  Realistically, I can’t see myself having a child after 35 if I manage to meet a man I could see myself having children with, and at this point I’d likely only have one child.  (I’d want at least 20 good years with my kid before experiencing a potential cognitive decline.)  I’m not financially independent, and I know for me having a child right now is just not a good idea.  I’m still on the fence on whether I actually want to have a child.  At the moment, I’m content with just being an aunt.  

I know at least one of my old friends is childfree by choice (and a couple others are each married with no children), and of the others I’ve reconnected with a couple of them have just one child apiece (one of the friends is widowed, though), while a couple others have two children (but only one has been pregnant more than once, the other had twins).  Even with women getting pregnant, they’re still choosing to have fewer children (that is, of course, unless you’re a fundie and Quiverfull).  (Only four of my old friends and classmates are like me and have yet to have a first marriage and are childless, and two of them are male.)

3 minutes ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

If she's any thing like her sisters she'll go late. I think Jessa was what four days past her due date each time. Jill was way past her due date and I believe Joy went into labor on her due date but had him the next day. 

From what I’ve heard, a lot of first pregnancies tend to run past the due date.  My mom’s pregnancy with me ran two weeks late (I was supposed to be due March 10th), but she ended up having to have labor induced on the morning of the 24th and I arrived early that afternoon.  My sister-in-law was due to have my niece on May 28, 2016, but she didn’t go into labor until the afternoon of June 5th and gave birth on the 6th (a full nine days late).  In her case, though, she didn’t need to have her labor induced.

[tabitha2]

Half Duggar babies move on Duggar time. Hasn't failed yet

[VelociRapture]

15 minutes ago, Snowless said:

I’m 31 and a caregiver for my mother (who has dementia), which has left with me with no opportunities to date and little opportunity to socialize in person (though social media has been a plus in helping me to reconnect with old friends).  As a result I’ve passed what is likely the most fertile period of my life, but also because of my mom’s condition I am unsure whether I am at risk of developing dementia as well.  Realistically, I can’t see myself having a child after 35 if I manage to meet a man I could see myself having children with, and at this point I’d likely only have one child.  (I’d want at least 20 good years with my kid before experiencing a potential cognitive decline.)  I’m not financially independent, and I know for me having a child right now is just not a good idea.  I’m still on the fence on whether I actually want to have a child.  At the moment, I’m content with just being an aunt.  

I know at least one of my old friends is childfree by choice (and a couple others are each married with no children), and of the others I’ve reconnected with a couple of them have just one child apiece (one of the friends is widowed, though), while a couple others have two children (but only one has been pregnant more than once, the other had twins).  Even with women getting pregnant, they’re still choosing to have fewer children (that is, of course, unless you’re a fundie and Quiverfull).  (Only four of my old friends and classmates are like me and have yet to have a first marriage and are childless, and two of them are male.)

From what I’ve heard, a lot of first pregnancies tend to run past the due date.  My mom’s pregnancy with me ran two weeks late (I was supposed to be due March 10th), but she ended up having to have labor induced on the morning of the 24th and I arrived early that afternoon.  My sister-in-law was due to have my niece on May 28, 2016, but she didn’t go into labor until the afternoon of June 5th and gave birth on the 6th (a full nine days late).  In her case, though, she didn’t need to have her labor induced.

It really depends on the person, but I really think genetics could play a role. My mom went early with all three of her kids and my sister went early with both of her’s as well. I delivered prematurely, so I’m not counting that. Lol!

But yeah, I’ve been saying for months now that I expect her to deliver after her due date based only off her sisters’ delivery histories. 

[VelociRapture]

Just saw this on Facebook. I feel like it’s appplicable to the overall family leave conversation:

http://thehill.com/opinion/healthcare/396744-alexis-ohanian-congress-and-statehouses-need-to-develop-better-family

[bethover89]

I really want kids, and have some medical conditions that could be problematic, so should start trying sooner rather than later, but right now I’m the main source of income and benefits for our household and I’ve no idea how we would afford childcare plus I’d really like to be the main caregiver but staying home or even going part time is a laughable idea at this point financially. I find myself quite jealous of Jessa and Jill sometimes. I need some of that good good tlc money so I can have a baby that I might actually be able to spend time with and support my husbands dreams financially at the same time! 

[AliceInFundyland]

@Carm_88 You have committed yourself to one of the most absurd and tedious tasks in all of FJ. It really deserves some sort of title. Duggar Divination Diva?

[louisa05]

5 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

Just saw this on Facebook. I feel like it’s appplicable to the overall family leave conversation:

http://thehill.com/opinion/healthcare/396744-alexis-ohanian-congress-and-statehouses-need-to-develop-better-family

I'm not encouraged that taking care of other family needs is just a brief mention in this piece, though. I have met so many women in the last five years since the situation first impacted me who lost or left jobs while caring for an ill or aging parent. While there is at least typically six weeks of guaranteed unpaid leave for having a baby, there is nothing for caring for an aging/ill parent or other family member. The Family Medical Leave Act left way too much room for companies to apply burdensome restrictions and requirements on leave. And while people treat new moms like rock stars, or at least advocate it, like this writer does, caring for an aging or ill family member basically gets you treated like you've lost your mind and could just get back to work. You know what the most typical reaction I got from people was? An offer of solutions so I didn't have to help. "Maybe you could have them take Uber to chemo". Someone really said that to me. My dad had balance and nerve issues and difficulty getting in and out of vehicles. But, sure, I'll just call Uber for that. Most suggestions were about that useful. 

And see above for my brother's difficulties with his employer. I had someone else who could pay most of the bills. He did not. And I'm still in the caregiving situation, it's just a lot less. But I know good and well getting an employer to let me off to take my mother to five appointments in the last week would have caused major problems. 

[SapphireSlytherin]

5 minutes ago, bethover89 said:

I really want kids, and have some medical conditions that could be problematic, so should start trying sooner rather than later, but right now I’m the main source of income and benefits for our household and I’ve no idea how we would afford childcare plus I’d really like to be the main caregiver but staying home or even going part time is a laughable idea at this point financially.

Advice I always heard:  if you wait until you can afford a child, you'll never have a child. I'm sorry you're struggling with decisions and choices.

[BunnyBee]

This baby watch is killing me.............................................

Even if Baby Spice is born today, Jeremy is very PR savvy and will wait a day or two when Jinger has a chance to get her hair and make up done and walk out like Kate Middleton for pictures, or wait for a magazine to offer up some cash for the exclusive. 

 

[VelociRapture]

15 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

I'm not encouraged that taking care of other family needs is just a brief mention in this piece, though. I have met so many women in the last five years since the situation first impacted me who lost or left jobs while caring for an ill or aging parent. While there is at least typically six weeks of guaranteed unpaid leave for having a baby, there is nothing for caring for an aging/ill parent or other family member. The Family Medical Leave Act left way too much room for companies to apply burdensome restrictions and requirements on leave. And while people treat new moms like rock stars, or at least advocate it, like this writer does, caring for an aging or ill family member basically gets you treated like you've lost your mind and could just get back to work. You know what the most typical reaction I got from people was? An offer of solutions so I didn't have to help. "Maybe you could have them take Uber to chemo". Someone really said that to me. My dad had balance and nerve issues and difficulty getting in and out of vehicles. But, sure, I'll just call Uber for that. Most suggestions were about that useful. 

And see above for my brother's difficulties with his employer. I had someone else who could pay most of the bills. He did not. And I'm still in the caregiving situation, it's just a lot less. But I know good and well getting an employer to let me off to take my mother to five appointments in the last week would have caused major problems. 

The author (Alexis Ohanian) is the husband of Serena Williams and the founder of Reddit. I think he focused specifically on maternity and paternity leave in this article because that’s what he has recent experience with. I also thought he was referring to more than just new parent leave when he used the term “family leave” throughout the piece, but I could be mistaken. Regardless, there needs to be better leave policies and protections in place for caregivers in general, regardless of what family member they’re caring for, and better leave policies for situations such as the one you mentioned your brother went through.  

[tabitha2]

34 minutes ago, BunnyBee said:

This baby watch is killing me.............................................

Even if Baby Spice is born today, Jeremy is very PR savvy and will wait a day or two when Jinger has a chance to get her hair and make up done and walk out like Kate Middleton for pictures, or wait for a magazine to offer up some cash for the exclusive. 

 

On that note He may be thwarted some if his little Princess is born on the 22nd which is Prince George’s birthday   

[Ivycoveredtower]

1 minute ago, tabitha2 said:

On that note He may be thwarted some if his little Princess is born on the 22nd which is Prince George’s birthday   

I don't think the Duggar's even have enough interest left in them to get much in the way of mags. a small article from people sure. maybe Us. no cover or spread though. I don't think there has been a spread or cover done since Henry was born. 

[tabitha2]

I don’t think Jeremy will be pleased  if any public attention no matter how small is taken away from his  child  who after all is simply an extension of him