Serven separation?

[pohala]

I used to be a booster of VF... I am very, very sorry for any part that I had in it and for supporting my ex in her cheerleading. By the time the scandal came out I was like, "yup, sounds about right". The control, misogyny and narrow bigotry had become quite apparent and repellant to me. I was headed out of Patriarchy to Egalitarianism and amazingly (at the time) my ex actually came a good ways along with me. I am so glad that it all came crashing down in the way that it did. Same for RC Jr; what a pig. Same for Bill Gothard; another pig.

The layers upon layers of rules in those cultures were very deep... no BC, no public school, no working mothers, no vaccinations, no broadcast TV, no music with a beat, no dating... it went on and on and on.

I rebuilt my relationships with all my kids and have apologized to them all for my role in all of it and have asked for and received their forgiveness. They show love to me and are very kind to me.

As for the marriage... in Late 2013 she decided that she wanted to be a marriage and family therapist (MFT), like the one who helped us, only "Christian" flavored though. She began completion of an undergraduate degree in 2014 and then undertook a master's program in 2016. Late 2017 she emailed me that she was divorcing me and after that, no amount of appeal would even get her to talk with me about it... alone or with others. The divorce was final on Dec 31 2018 (after almost 37 1/2 yrs) and she got married 6 days later. She's changed her name and it is now "Carmon Conover".

Edited February 19, 2019 by pohala

[Sicily]

Speaking of Serven separations, I suspect Sarah and Cody have split. Cody has recently deleted all photos of Sarah and their kids from his Instagram, and he's no longer friended to any Servens on Facebook.

As for the 2017 family photo in the OP being evidence of a Peter/Meredith split, I think not, since neither Jon Ten Dolle nor Cody Winton are in it either (and the Winton marriage was still going strong at that stage, as was and is Beth's with Jon). So Meredith's absence doesn't indicate much.

The fact that there's no mention of one another in general might possibly indicate a split though. 

Edited August 28, 2019 by Sicily

[hoipolloi]

Shocking & very sad news. 

Cody Winton died in a car accident yesterday.

Quote

 

MENLO PARK — A Sunnyvale man was killed early Wednesday morning in a crash that shut down on-ramps to Highway 101 in Menlo Park, authorities said. 

The crash happened near Marsh Road just before 1:30 a.m. when a Honda SUV driving south on Highway 101 rear-ended a flat-bed truck, then rolled over and came to a stop near the right shoulder, authorities said.

The Honda driver, 27-year-old Cody Winton, died at the scene, according to CHP.

 

 

[Hazel_Grace]

So heartbreaking. 

[Marian the Librarian]

On 8/27/2019 at 8:39 PM, Sicily said:

Speaking of Serven separations, I suspect Sarah and Cody have split. Cody has recently deleted all photos of Sarah and their kids from his Instagram, and he's no longer friended to any Servens on Facebook.

This is confirmed in Santa Clara County court records:

https://unicourt.com/case/ca-scl-cody-winton-vs-sarah-winton-1122445

He filed for legal separation on August 9 and died a month later - sad and awful for all involved. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

23 minutes ago, Marian the Librarian said:

This is confirmed in Santa Clara County court records:

https://unicourt.com/case/ca-scl-cody-winton-vs-sarah-winton-1122445

He filed for legal separation on August 9 and died a month later - sad and awful for all involved. 

That’s very sad. How many children do they have?

[punkiepie]

I just saw on Instagram that Sarah Serven Winton's husband, Cody, passed away on Wednesday in a car accident.  They had been married for five years and have two children.  He was only 27.  They seemed to be much less fundie than the Serven clan, so I really hope she doesn't get pulled back into their clutches.  News article here and GoFundMe here.  I truly hope she gets all the support and love that she needs to help her raise those two little kids.  

 

 

[hoipolloi]

This is so sad. 

She has a graphic design business and seems to have been working at it. Really hope that it's a success for her.

[Hazel_Grace]

They had 2 children under 4 ☹️

[DomWackTroll]

How awful. In the very prime of life. From the comments on the GoFundMe, he seemed to be sincerely loved by so many. 

Some interesting names, too... $300 from Steve Friedrich. 

[nelliebelle1197]

OMG, that car in the photo. There was no chance. It makes me so sad.

[Palimpsest]

This is so sad.

[treemom]

This is terrible.  My heart aches for Sarah.  

 

I was googling to be nosy and and found this on the first page of results: https://unicourt.com/case/ca-scl-cody-winton-vs-sarah-winton-1122445

 

i imagine this complicates the grief even more

[NachosFlandersStyle]

6 minutes ago, treemom said:

i imagine this complicates the grief even more

Oof. This would be a horrifying situation for anyone, but in a culture where divorce is so stigmatized it must be a major mindfuck.

[treemom]

I hope she’s being kind to herself.

[punkiepie]

23 minutes ago, NachosFlandersStyle said:

Oof. This would be a horrifying situation for anyone, but in a culture where divorce is so stigmatized it must be a major mindfuck.

I follow jackandjenna on Instagram- she’s a young-ish Mormon mom who was widowed three years ago when her son was one. She and her husband, Chase, had been having a lot of problems, he had some substance issues apparently, and she moved from Utah to Idaho to live with her parents for awhile. They were trying to make it work and it had been a few weeks since she had seen him, so they planned for her and their son to come back home for a few days.  That morning she was leaving and he wasn’t answering the phone or replying to texts. So she called her FIL to go over to the house and check on him, while she was en route to Utah.  When her FIL got there, Chase was unconscious and non-responsive, but still alive. Apparently he had taken some prescription medication that night, vomited in his sleep, and aspirated.  He died a few days later when they determined he had no brain function.

She has written a lot on Instagram, and was interviewed on a podcast, about how she felt so much guilt because she wasn’t there with him, because their relationship had deteriorated so much that she had to leave him.  She said that it was so hard for her to process her feelings because they never got to have either reconciliation or closure, and everything was up in the air.  I’d imagine it’s a real mind fuck to be in that situation and how easy it would be to blame yourself. I really hope Sarah doesn’t blame herself, because it’s hard enough to deal with that kind of grief without compounding it with guilt. 

[MamaJunebug]

I remember she wore a fascination-type mini-veil and he looked like a cheerful guy. 

RIP, Cody, live in strength, Sarah & littles. 

[darkplumaged]

Back when the Servens were blogging I probably followed them more closely than any other fundie family. I'm so shocked I can't formulate a reply.

 

[Sicily]

I'm really sorry to hear of his death - as well as the marriage split. They had seemed like a happy couple, and fairly liberal compared to their families of origin.

[teachergirl]

I follow Sarah on IG and she posted a lovely tribute to him. She also had posted quite a bit about depression, healing and admiitted going to therapy which is huge in those circles.  I figured something was up when she traveled with the kids without him and there were very few pictures of them together. It seems from her post that maybe they were trying to work things out....the whole thing is very sad. And since I loathe Aunt Lori here is her " what if" situation playing out in real life. She is 27, widowed with 2 very young children living in a very high COL.....

[MamaJunebug]

3 hours ago, teachergirl said:

I follow Sarah on IG and she posted a lovely tribute to him. She also had posted quite a bit about depression, healing and admiitted going to therapy which is huge in those circles.  I figured something was up when she traveled with the kids without him and there were very few pictures of them together. It seems from her post that maybe they were trying to work things out....the whole thing is very sad. And since I loathe Aunt Lori here is her " what if" situation playing out in real life. She is 27, widowed with 2 very young children living in a very high COL.....

As a person living with depression and suicidal tendencies, I had to think about that possibility in Cody’s sad death. Was Sarah discussing her own depression, or the subject/disorder generally?  (I’m intentionally avoiding IG, already spend too much time in FB.). Thanks in advance, friend.

[hollyandivy]

I am speechless, the Servens were my gateway fundies....

I hope Sarah will get all the support and help she needs for herself and her children.

[teachergirl]

She posted about her own...she was going to therapy, talked about needing time away, with friends.....I think for women who have been raised in this cult the very idea that you need time to yourself is foreign to them. I also think when you rush marriage and babies at such a young age that when you start to grow up, you can grow apart.  They also seemed to move quite a bit and the stress of one income can be tough. This is all speculation on my part. I wish her healing peace.

[JustAnotherMaiden]

I just looked at Cody’s public Facebook page. He missed the Obama administration, thought Kavanaugh should not have been confirmed, shared an article about institutional racism... He shared his brother Jesse’s documentary about how he changed his position and now believes we need gun control. There are lots of contentious comments from people he grew up with. This is so far from the beliefs of the community he was raised in. Plus he was a software engineer for Facebook then PayPal, living in the Bay Area. I wonder how far Sarah came with him on his path of changed ideas. Wherever she’s at, I hope she has emotional and financial support moving forward. Such a tragic and sad loss. 

[Sicily]

5 hours ago, JustAnotherMaiden said:

I just looked at Cody’s public Facebook page. He missed the Obama administration, thought Kavanaugh should not have been confirmed, shared an article about institutional racism... He shared his brother Jesse’s documentary about how he changed his position and now believes we need gun control. There are lots of contentious comments from people he grew up with. This is so far from the beliefs of the community he was raised in. Plus he was a software engineer for Facebook then PayPal, living in the Bay Area. I wonder how far Sarah came with him on his path of changed ideas. Wherever she’s at, I hope she has emotional and financial support moving forward. Such a tragic and sad loss. 

Cody and Sarah were both against legal abortion though. I saw a picture of them protesting it on his Instagram last year, before he removed all the photos with Sarah in them, and then all the ones with their kids as well.

I (temporarily) unfollowed him over the forced birth stuff. I mean, I know fundies are all for forcing women to give birth against their will, it's just that Cody in particular had expressed liberal views on his other social media, so I was knocked for six by him supporting women's oppression.

He did seem lovely in general though, and he was very young. It's a really tragic loss. Poor Sarah and the kids.

12 hours ago, hollyandivy said:

I am speechless, the Servens were my gateway fundies....

I hope Sarah will get all the support and help she needs for herself and her children.

They seem to be everyone's gateway fundies. Mine too. I think it was because Rebecca did such fabulous work on the family blog back in the day, and I loved the photos too. Such an attractive family, even if their beliefs are messed up af.