Have Any of You Had or Planned a Home Birth?

[Sola]

I wanted one with my first. I changed my mind after a while because my son was laid back to front and wasn't shifting. This was going to, and damn well did (!) lead to a long and painful labour. I am soooooo glad I didn't go for a homebirth because I would never, ever have coped. The pains were relentless, the labour lasted 24 hours with contractions right through my back coming every 5 minutes for 20 of those hours. In the end I nearly snatched the midwife's hand off when she offered me an epidural!

[terranova]

I'm planning one for my first, due at Christmas. I've always thought I'd like to have a home birth, and although my partner is a little freaked by the idea (he didn't grow up a hippie like I did!), and I'm listening to his concerns, I'm sticking to my guns on it. Having said that, if my MW feels that a hospital birth is nessescary then I will certainly listen to her. We live only a couple of minutes from the hospital and cost isn't an issue as all maternity care is free here.

What do you ladies who've had home births tell reluctant partners to calm them down/change their minds?

[Kaylee]

I seriously considered a home birth, went with an OB instead because my husband and family were all worried about it and state laws would have made it more likely to be UC than attended, then at 35 weeks I decided to go with a CNM and switch to a hospital that would not push a lot of interventions. Starting out, I knew I wanted a waterbirth and wanted as few interventions as possible. The first practice I went to was well-known for their midwives, but they risked me out at the first meeting and told me I'd have to see an OB because I was obese and had had cancer. They also told another woman who was there that they did not do waterbirths, and that the closest hospital that allowed waterbirths was in Asheville (about an hour & a half away).

I figured that wasn't the place for me, so went back to an OB practice I used to go to that seemed OK. I never had any bad experiences with them, just hadn't been in a while, and they were pretty close and affiliated with my "local" hospital. The first doctor I saw was great, and part of the reason I went with them, but that first visit ended up being the only time I saw him. The other one I saw wasn't too bad, but he was OK and somewhat open to things, I thought. At first, they agreed with everything I asked, then it seemed like I kept getting stalled every time I mentioned a birth plan or things I wanted, and then it all started changing. Even when I asked about eating/drinking to avoid dehydration rather than an IV, which the first doctor had said was fine) I was told that they "might allow ice chips" and that everyone got an IV. As far as moving in labor, I could stand by the bed if I needed to. Going to the birth class at the hospital, it was clear that they were all about interventions and very medicalized, with their main selling points being an advanced NICU and special rooms and on-floor operating suites for c-section patients. There was also the issue of only one pediatric practice being associated with them, and finding they had a policy against delayed or selective vaccinations and had circumcised at least 2 boys whose parents had not requested it. That really made me hesitate, and the final straw was going to an appointment and 32 weeks with yet another doctor who told me I couldn't have a normal delivery because of my weight, I had no business being pregnant, and I should go ahead an schedule a 36 week c-section, and that he didn't do waterbirths anyway or birth positions other than on your back in stirrups because he wasn't going to get down on the floor.

After all that, I ended up looking for an alternative. I found a great pediatrician and she was associated with a hospital that I had been in after a car accident few years ago. They are small and not very fancy, but they provided great care, but were pretty low-key and hands-off. I also found an OB/midwife office that served that hospital (it was about the same distance as the second - I live between 2 towns) and found out that the OB there was rated as the best in the county by a local paper, and the midwife had moved up from a practice in Atlanta where she seemed to specialize in waterbirth and natural births. After touring the hospital and talking with the charge nurse at the birth center and talking to the doctor and midwife, I switched. I felt a lot more comfortable with it and really did end up getting the best experience I could in a hospital - very hands off, no IV or meds, labored in a birth tub, etc.

I did end up needing a c-section after 38 hours in labor (failure to progress and meconium when we broke the water to see if it would get things moving - the meconium could be expected because I was 1 day short of 42 weeks, but it put us on a 2 hour "countdown" just in case). Obviously, we would have done the section earlier if my baby was in distress but all his tones were good and I really wasn't in much pain - it turned out he had a nuchal cord wrapped twice and was turned facing my hip, so he didn't drop enough to even dilate my cervix past 4cm). Still, if I had had these same problems at home, with a competent midwife or even a good doula, I could have been transported to the hospital in time with no real problems. The problem is that my state outlaws midwives for homebirths, so I'd be stuck alone, breaking the law (there is a homebirth midwife here who was certified midwife in another state and had years as a L&D nurse, and my doula was a L&D nurse for 30 years), or trusting someone with no way to verify their experience or competence.

If/when I get pregnant again, I will probably got for a hospital birth with the same hospital and same midwife, but I would consider a homebirth if they tried to tell me a VBAC was not an option because of some policy, rather than because of an actual medical reason. I don't plan on this though, because I was discussing VBAC chances with the OB and asking for double sutures literally while I was on the table during the c-section, and he said chances were very good. If I was to end up moving somewhere else, my choice would depend on what the local hospitals were like and what sort of OB or midwifery care I could find.

[Fat Actress]

I'm planning one for my first, due at Christmas. I've always thought I'd like to have a home birth, and although my partner is a little freaked by the idea (he didn't grow up a hippie like I did!), and I'm listening to his concerns, I'm sticking to my guns on it. Having said that, if my MW feels that a hospital birth is nessescary then I will certainly listen to her. We live only a couple of minutes from the hospital and cost isn't an issue as all maternity care is free here.

What do you ladies who've had home births tell reluctant partners to calm them down/change their minds?

My husband was born at home and yet he was still freaked out when I started mentioning homebirth. The Business of Being Born combined with the fact that ALL our close friends had had c-sections convinced him.

Edit: fun fact, my midwife is the same one who attended his birth 26 years ago

[Guest Anonymous]

I don't think I could, my last pregnancy went 44 weeks (everything was fine, the stubborn little guy was just comfortable in there) and I don't think most states with legal homebirth midwives let them deliver past 41 or 42 weeks. Not really planning on another kid anyhow but were it not for the tendency to run really postdates I'd certainly consider it with the right care provider.

I did have a CNM for my prenatals, though honestly she was kinda... gruff? Unsympathetic? She had the bedside manner of a drill sergeant? Let's just say if I found myself among the knocked up again, she would not be my first choice. When you gain 45 lbs and spend ten months pregnant you need somebody who is willing to make the occasional sympathetic noise in your direction.

[thetabmeister]

I had all three of mine at home. The first one, it wasn't really planned; I was seeing a regular OB at a hospital, but I didn't like her. She referenced "the book" about 10 times during our appointment and seemed very nervous. Also she didn't answer questions, didn't tell me I could have any of my own way during the hospital birth (even though I had not figured out yet what "my way" would be), and prescribed an ultra-strong anti-nausea pill--think, the kind they use on chemo patients--even though I insisted that it wasn't that bad, no more than an annoying tickle that ended up going away after a couple weeks.

I don't know, she wasn't really bad or anything, but I was stubborn and started looking around to see if there were other options. My mom mentioned that I might like a birthing center; it was a bit like home and not as cold and institutional as a hospital. That led me to reading ancient library books about midwifery and the next thing I knew, I was interviewing a midwife from the next town over. We decided to go with her for the first child, just to see if we could do it.

We did do it and I was happy overall that I had done it drug-free, but ended up not caring for the midwife at all since our personalities clashed. Also, we kept calling and calling her while I was in labor but she insisted that she was tired--I started at 9:45 PM-- and it was my first so I surely wouldn't deliver until at least 6 the next morning. This was after my water had broken! Anyway, she FINALLY came over ten minutes before he popped out.

Because I am so stubbornly against pain drugs, even though I ask myself WHY?! during each labor, I decided to do the second with a midwife as well, only got a different one who was much better. She has a wonderful personality and stops the whole world to pay attention to ME, and is very intelligent and wise, not just educated, KWIM? She also has a vast knowledge of nutrition and supplements which I drew from, because to have a home birth one must be pretty healthy. She wasn't sitting for her nursing degree, an EMT, or a full-time manager at the Macaroni Grille like the first CPM was (yes, ALL of that, in addition to taking on 4 new clients a month!), so she was totally devoted to her midwifery work. I liked her so much that I went with her again for my third, born just 4 weeks ago.

My reasons for choosing a home birth were that I was looking for something different than the hospital, and my search evolved into finding info about epidurals and such that ultimately lead me down the "all natural" path. It has worked for me so far. I of course do not judge anyone who wishes to do it differently. And religion had nothing to do with the decision, just doing what I thought would be best for me.

Zsuzsanna preaches home birth like it's in the Bible! :P

[LilMissMetaphor]

Fucknoareyounuts, er, that is, no I haven't and wouldn't.

[oolong]

I attempted to give birth in a birth center that pretty much was a home, except there was a nurse-midwife and two other midwives and a way bigger tub. I labored there for something like 40 hours, and I transferred because I was too exhausted to continue without some pain relief. My daughter was born 12 hours after an epidural and some Pitocin, and everything turned out great. I'm glad I began in the birth center and glad I transferred too. I'd go to the birth center again though if I had another uncomplicated pregnancy. The birth center is 1 block from the hospital and we were there very quickly, not hurrying because there was no emergency. I got an epidural about 45 minutes after deciding I wanted it back at the birth center (but it seemed like 10 to me).

[Guest Anonymous]

Dh and I planned a home birth with our second child, after our first child was born by cesarean. We ended up transporting to the hospital after about 40 hours, but it was still a great experience.

[Sanveann]

No, nor would I.

I've had two very easy, complication-free, intervention-free births in the hospital and was very happy with them. I can't imagine the tradeoff in experience is worth giving up the peace of mind of having an OR and a NICU with neonatologists and nurses right down the hall.

Plus, in my area at least, there are no CNMs who attend home births, and I wouldn't let a CPM do it if she paid me.

[deelaem]

I have a question. How can an OB say they don't allow women to go over 40 weeks? What does that mean exactly?

[lovefromgirl]

My husband was born at home and yet he was still freaked out when I started mentioning homebirth. The Business of Being Born combined with the fact that ALL our close friends had had c-sections convinced him.

Edit: fun fact, my midwife is the same one who attended his birth 26 years ago

My mom was born at home and she ended up insisting on a hospital birth with me, but minimal interventions and no pain meds. If I had to guess, I'd say she grew up seeing a hospital birth as a luxury--her people were/are farmers, and she was born in 1952 in Germany. She also had everything secondhand except for what her aunt made, so she doesn't like it when I hit up thrift stores. Getting her to set foot in Goodwill was a milestone!

People aren't always logical, I suppose. I mean, my grandmother lived (had her next two in hospital, FWIW) but that didn't make my mother any more eager to try home birth.

[Kaylee]

I have a question. How can an OB say they don't allow women to go over 40 weeks? What does that mean exactly?

There are some who will release you from their care and refuse follow-up appointments, even at 39 or 40 weeks, if you don't schedule a c-section or induction when they say you should have it.

[Guest Anonymous]

There are some who will release you from their care and refuse follow-up appointments, even at 39 or 40 weeks, if you don't schedule a c-section or induction when they say you should have it.

1. They cannot drop you from care at the end of your pregnancy without making sure another provider takes you on. That's patient abandonment and is illegal.

2. They have to "allow" you to go past 40 weeks. They CANNOT force a cesarean on you. That's assault. You say, "I do not consent" and, with exception of having a court order for the forced cesarean, you have a lawsuit on your hands if they section you without your consent.

3. Find a care provider who has a good working relationship with an OB. This will be invaluable if you need to transport to the hospital. This will ensure continuity of care and make it as pleasant for you as possible. When we transported to the hospital, my midwife (CPM) and OB were on such good terms that he had her call the APGARs and do the newborn exam.

4. Be prepared to travel a distance to find a care provider with whom you are comfortable. For my third birth (2nd vbac), I travelled 4 hours to another state for the birth (2 weeks before my due date) because no one in my vicinity would (willingly) attend a vbac, even though I'd already had one.

[contrary]

The Business of Being Born was SO well done. Totally recommend, even if you're still planning a hospital birth (as i had).

[camdendayton]

I will definitely consider it if it ever comes up :)

I really wonder if my mom would have had a home birth with my younger bro if that had been something ppl did in yuppie ohio suburbs in the 80s. She is the most stubborn person I've ever encountered and said that she was in the hospital way too long for my birth (we loath hospitals in my family, both sides, and don't follow direction well), so waited as long as she possibly could to go in for my brother (this was without any medical supervision) and when she arrived at the hospital the nurses told her she better calm down or she'd never get through the birth. Then they saw how dilated she was and took that back. I'm going to have to ask her about this :)

[higgledypiggledy]

I've done hospital and home. Home for me was the best experience. It wasn't messy. That sounds nuts but the midwife's apprentices had the whole mess cleaned up before I ever even noticed it was there. After the birth when I got in the shower they helped wash my hair while I sat on a med-shower stool. They did my laundry, some light housework and made me breakfast in bed after the birth. WONDERFUL!!! It was great to curl up in bed with my baby and have a comfortable bed, no annoying people in and out and in and out of my room. My parents were both terrified and skeptical but both said afterwards that it was one of the best labor experiences they ever participated in. For my mom, that's saying quite a bit. She's been a labor coach and helper in many births.

[Kaylee]

1. They cannot drop you from care at the end of your pregnancy without making sure another provider takes you on. That's patient abandonment and is illegal.

2. They have to "allow" you to go past 40 weeks. They CANNOT force a cesarean on you. That's assault. You say, "I do not consent" and, with exception of having a court order for the forced cesarean, you have a lawsuit on your hands if they section you without your consent.

3. Find a care provider who has a good working relationship with an OB. This will be invaluable if you need to transport to the hospital. This will ensure continuity of care and make it as pleasant for you as possible. When we transported to the hospital, my midwife (CPM) and OB were on such good terms that he had her call the APGARs and do the newborn exam.

4. Be prepared to travel a distance to find a care provider with whom you are comfortable. For my third birth (2nd vbac), I travelled 4 hours to another state for the birth (2 weeks before my due date) because no one in my vicinity would (willingly) attend a vbac, even though I'd already had one.

Thanks, if I had known all this when I was pregnant, it would have saved me some stress. The OB practice I was seeing pulled threatened to release me from care at 32 weeks because I would not schedule a c-section for 36 weeks (no issues, other than my son was measuring big and and I am fat, but not diabetic or having any heal issues because of it). They also informed me at this appointment they were going to "go ahead and sweep my membranes" at the next appointment (34 weeks).

I lucked out, because I did find a great CNM to transfer care to, who shared an office with a really good OB. I had planned for an in-hospital water birth, and things went well even though I ended up needing a c-section (at least it was after I went into labor naturally, at almost 42 weeks, and after 30+ hours of labor so it was for a "real reason" - sounds weird, but if things had gone otherwise I'd probably still be questioning it). Still, the OB office didn't mention that as an option, I called her myself because I decided I did not want those people delivering my child, and was to the point of switching to UC at home and taking my luck with whoever was on duty if I'd had to transport to the hospital.

[Artemis]

I had two planned home births. Here in the UK (well where I was in London anyway), they didn't like you to have a first baby at home, but I told the doctor it was my legal right to have a home birth with midwife care, and as I said I'd go to hospital for birth if there were any issues with my pregnancy, he OK'd part covering me for the home birth if 1) I agreed to have an internal pelvic examination by a consultant gyn/obs and 2) the gyn/obs agreed to part cover also and said I was OK. The gyn/obs did my internal pelvic, and said I had a pelvic girdle you could drive a London bus through (I'm only 5' 1").

When I went into labour the first time, I had three contractions 20 minutes apart, and then they moved to 10 and then 5 minutes apart really fast so I called the midwife. By the time the midwife got to our house I was 10cm and going into transition. She rang the other midwife and told her to drive through red lights if she had to, but to get there; then she made me breathe so much gas and air to slow me down I was completely spaced. Daughter 1 was born after an 8 minute second stage. Total labour: 2hrs and 45 minutes.

No one questioned my desire for a home birth the second time. My labour with Daughter 2 lasted an hour and 40 minutes with a 6 minute second stage. When the midwife got home apparently her husband asked her if it was a false alarm (it was in the small hours) and she said no, it was all over and safely sorted.

If I'd waited the standard length of time before going to the hospital from labour starting, I wouldn't have got to any of the hospitals near me before birth. (DD1 was on the way during the morning rush hour. For DD2 I was in the depths of the country.)

I was damn lucky there were no complications - it happened so fast I don't think anyone could have done anything if there had been. I don't like to think what might have happened for labour 3, had I ever decided to have another one.

[Austin]

I delivered in the hospital both times and would never consider homebirth. I don't care where other women give birth as long as they don't think they deserve some sort of gold star for toughing it out at home, which some (not all) seem to. I don't make sweeping generalizations about homebirth, and it would be great if the homebirthers would stop making sweeping generalizations about hospital birth.

Maybe when one is prepared for homebirth, which I imagine the majority of women are, I'm sure the mess can be contained or minimized. But my son is very close friends with a young couple and she unexpectedly had a baby at home a couple of months ago. The baby and she were fine, although the baby was early, so he had to go to NICU for a week or so. During that time, my son and some of their other close friends went over to clean up their apartment so the new parents didn't have to deal with a mess when they brought baby home, and they all said it looked like a crime scene.

[TMS]

My daughter had a home birth using a birthing tub. It was a happy, positive experience. She was healthy with no medical issues, received excellent prenatal care from a well-known certified midwife (who came highly recommended by many others). She gave birth to a healthy, 8-lb. baby boy 2 days after her EDD.

No home births for me. I was in the camp of "give me an epidural and any drugs you can to make this less painful!!!"

[Guest Anonymous]

My first child was born by cesarean. For my second birth we planned a home birth and it ended in a hospital transport after 2 days of labor. My third birth was a hospital birth with a midwife and it was completely pain-free, without the use of drugs. The only reason we didn't plan another home birth for our third child was because we'd have to pay $5,000 out of pocket for a home birth vs. $250 out of pocket for a hospital birth. We just didn't have the money at the time.

However, it's getting more and more difficult to find hospitals and care provides willing to attend VBACs, and if I found it impossible to secure a hospital-based care provider, I'd find SOME way of financing a home birth. Sell a kidney or something :eusa-think:

[1004srs]

Both times I was induced at 42 weeks. (What can I say, it IS comfy in there) I am AMA as well. I like an epidural and stadol.

First birth lasted 3 days, awful experience for both me and the baby.

Second birth was 8 hours start to finish. Awesome experience. She was a whole lb bigger than brother.

The Nursing staff are the ones that make the difference.

[teecher17]

No, while it has been awhile (the baby is now 17) I had hospital births. The first child I said no to an epidural, I wanted a natural birth. NEVER AGAIN. I still recall the pain. Baby number 2 was breech, so I had a c-section. I had planned an epidural for that one. I am not a fan of home births. I am a fan of hospitals and nurses. However, to each his own and I respect other people's choices. Knowing my daughter as well as I do, I think she will choose a hospital birth when the time comes. Hopefully, well into the future : 0

[Witsec6]

I'm with Contrary on this one ... I wanted hospital. I had an epidural, gas & air AND Pethidine ... it's a wonder I knew I'd given birth when I did. But DD was a breech delivery so in hindsight I'm glad I didn't opt for a home birth like many of my family did. Hubs was born at home (in a trailer) and his mams had no medical assistance, he's the youngest of 5 so I suppose she knew what to expect, but by all accounts he was enormous (and still is ... think Kung Fu Panda) so I admire my (now late)mother in law greatly for being brave enough to go through with that. I'm all for the woman being able to make choices, but personally, I decided not to have a birth plan, because I knew that whatever sort of birth I had, the one sort it wouldn't be, was the one I was hoping for (easy, pain free, over in 10 minutes ... 6 hours isn't bad tho, is it?).

Mami B xxxxx

I've spoken with several women who gave birth in situations similar to your mother-in-law and all but one wished they had had access to the drugs! :lol: