Josiah Duggar: Part 5

[Sky with diamonds]

I have always been told throughout my life I don't look like the "typical Newfoundlander". What the heck is a "typical Newfoundlander" supposed to look like?

 

[HarleyQuinn]

I saw on Tumblr that Lauren's entire family moved to Arkansas? Talk about commitment for a courtship

[singsingsing]

15 minutes ago, HarleyQuinn said:

I saw on Tumblr that Lauren's entire family moved to Arkansas? Talk about commitment for a courtship

Do you remember where you saw it? It’s not on Keeping Up With Fundies or WTF Fundies and those are the only fundie related tumblrs I know, haha.

I guess it’d be easy enough to transfer the riding lawn mower ministry to Arkansas.

[HarleyQuinn]

1 minute ago, singsingsing said:

Do you remember where you saw it? It’s not on Keeping Up With Fundies or WTF Fundies and those are the only fundie related tumblrs I know, haha.

I guess it’d be easy enough to transfer the riding lawn mower ministry to Arkansas.

I think on the duggars tumblr. It was a reply to something else. I'll try to find it. 

[VelociRapture]

3 hours ago, Sky with diamonds said:

I have always been told throughout my life I don't look like the "typical Newfoundlander". What the heck is a "typical Newfoundlander" supposed to look like?

 

Like this:

So, basically, you’re all furry gentle giants who drool a lot and are SUCH GOOD DOGGOS!!!!  

Personally, I’m pastier then Casper the Ghost. I haven’t been asked about my ethnicity as far as I remember... but my older sister has been asked many times because she got the “Black Irish” genes from my maternal Grandpa’s side. She’s gotten asked if she’s Hispanic, Middle Eastern, Spanish, Hawaiian, and (oddly enough) Japanese once. My parents and maternal grandparents just got their DNA test results back recently and none of those came back as hits - the regions they got big hits from (over 15%) was a mix of Ireland, Ireland/Scotland/Wales, Great Britain, West Europe, and Scandinavia. The only one out of those that was surprising for us was that my Grandpa had an 18% result for Scandinavia. All the relatives my Grandma found though her genealogical research were from Ireland, but I don’t know how far back she was able to go. 

[singsingsing]

I get the ‘what are you’ (or more polite variations) question fairly often. I think as a white person I have the inherent privilege of not really being affected by it, but if I were a minority it would seem pretty aggressive. ‘What are you?’ sounds dehumanizing. It suggests that this stranger or acquaintance has the right to demand your ethnicity. I think even worse is when they start guessing. Why do they need to know so much? And is there a ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ answer? Like am I okay if I’m Native American, but not if I’m Jewish? Are they just overly curious, or are they specifically looking for an Italian woman? If my new boss is asking me if I’m Hispanic, is she just making chit-chat or am I going to be treated differently depending on my answer?

[kachuu]

I'm from the South and have heard the "what are they" in hushed voices away from the person. Racism is quiet, subtle and sadly alive in all places. I married someone from NY and i was surprised to find out how much racist comments spewed from my in-laws mouths. Southerners get a bad rap for it but in reality, that shit is everywhere.

 

Also, side note, mixed babies are usually the most gorgeous people - sorry not sorry. So I'm wondering if the "what are you" is said with a bit of envy. We white people just come in different shades of pasty 

[Four is Enough]

I've been asked "where are your people from?"  and I'm a whiteywhite white person... they just want to know  where my family originated so they can look down on us... our family name has a "good" side and a "bad" side.. and we DGAF!

[Carm_88]

4 hours ago, Sky with diamonds said:

I have always been told throughout my life I don't look like the "typical Newfoundlander". What the heck is a "typical Newfoundlander" supposed to look like?

 

Haha I'm not sure either. I don't see amy features that are super common.

Red hair maybe?  

[IntrinsicallyDisordered]

On 26/02/2018 at 3:37 PM, samurai_sarah said:

Thanks for your thoughtful reply. And thank you very much for trying to be more aware. I am glad that we can have this conversation, listening to each other. It is so fraught with complexities and mutual assumptions that we need to talk about it all, but too often balk. Particularly as Europeans. (Not excluding others, but @CarrotCake and I are currently talking about Europe).

When I moved to Belgium from the US and people would ask me where I was from I always responded "America", half because that's what I considered myself and didn't really think about it, half because it's easier to pronounce in Dutch than "United States".  A few months after moving I was at a gathering of fellow expats and one man I knew to be from Bolivia asked me what I was.  "American," I said.  And he winked and nudged me with his elbow and said "so am I!"  I always answer now, "from the US" or "American, from the US".  I've never asked anyone where they were from, or what they were, though in my integration and language classes everyone would readily discuss their own backgrounds including their parents and grandparents...kind of a "what brought me here" exercise. 

I get asked a fair bit where I am from because my Dutch gives me away as a foreigner, or I am overheard speaking English (last week an old man in the grocery store wanted to know what language my husband and I were speaking, when I said English he asked what part of England I was from and when I said I was from the US, he sighed and shook his head and patted me on the shoulder).  But as a white woman I am *never* asked before I open my mouth, unlike the PoC I know - including the ones who were born here 

[kachuu]

54 minutes ago, Four is Enough said:

I've been asked "where are your people from?"  and I'm a whiteywhite white person... they just want to know  where my family originated so they can look down on us... our family name has a "good" side and a "bad" side.. and we DGAF!

 My MIL asked me that. She demanded to know where "my people" originated from before America. So i laughed in her face and said, yeah that what you people up North do, judge people by ancestry that you have no relation to anymore. Down in the south we just judge by color. Its a lot easier. (it's not right, it's just idiotically simpler) I've met people up here who look down on anyone who isn't Italian (hi, i'm not Italian) and its bizarre to me. I'm so used to the race issue, the ethnicity thing really throws me off. Again, let me be clear: not saying either is appropriate. Just another different between my southern redneck upbringing and the yankee i married lol

 

Also, the bitch stopped asking.

[laPapessaGiovanna]

42 minutes ago, IntrinsicallyDisordered said:

But as a white woman I am *never* asked before I open my mouth, unlike the PoC I know - including the ones who were born here 

I think this is the core of this discussion. I am sure that the same would happen to me too should I decide to emigrate to wherever. No matter how hard I may have it with cultural differences and all that jazz, it would never be as difficult as it is for those who have "different" engraved in their own features.

[melon]

On 1/30/2018 at 8:44 PM, spacecase33 said:

My father, who grew up in Philadelphia, pronounces Baltimore the exact same way.  Considering I'm planning to move back to said city this year from elsewhere in Maryland (need to be closer to work), he and I may have to have a discussion about his pronunciation soon!  He pronounces Amish correctly, at least, which is good considering our family has deep roots in Lancaster County, PA.

Ok,how to pronounce Lancaster,as in Lancaster,PA? I've always said Lancaster,not Lan-Caster.I don't remember it but we lived there until I was 3,and I have no memory of Baltimore ,either,but I was born there.I have been back to visit both,an aunt lived in Lancaster,also went to Baltimore a few times to visit.

[IntrinsicallyDisordered]

9 minutes ago, laPapessaGiovanna said:

I think this is the core of this discussion. I am sure that the same would happen to me too should I decide to emigrate to wherever. No matter how hard I may have it with cultural differences and all that jazz, it would never be as difficult as it is for those who have "different" engraved in their own features.

Here is an example of my white privilege - when I first moved here I needed to have the police surprise me at home, to make sure I was really living here.  It was supposed to be 3 unannounced visits over a few weeks, with an indepth interview.  The officer comes, looks at me, doesn't even want to come into the house.  Fills out the form in the doorway while chatty.  Says that is all they need, I am good, congratulations.  Needless to say this was NOT the experience of people I know from Taiwan, Nigeria, Pakistan.  

Then about 4 years ago I went to file my taxes and saw that my residency card had expired.  My fault, I had had the wrong date in my head, but they had never sent me a renewal form (to save money apparently, citizens get them but immigrants don't, and they didn't send a notice about the change in policy either    what followed was a lot of bureaucratic frustration and an ordeal that bordered on the Kafkaesque but didn't quite get there, no doubt because of what I look like.  My name, especially my first name, does not sound/look "white" and all the annoyance and gruffness on the phone and email would evaporate in person.  They'd joke with me and apologize while all around people of color were being hassled and talked down to while they apologized and pleaded for umderstanding.  It was heartbreaking.

I do get the racist Vlaams Belang newsletters but that's just because I am on a list of "others".  They're disgusting but the caricatures don't look like me, they look like my lovely Turkish and Morrocan neighbors, who speak better Dutch and contribute more to society by their metrics than I do.  But they aren't white, so nothing else matters to some 

[L1o2u3]

3 hours ago, HarleyQuinn said:

I saw on Tumblr that Lauren's entire family moved to Arkansas? Talk about commitment for a courtship

James Manderino moved across multiple states and lived in a trailer because apparently they had no spare bed for him just to be able to court Hannah Washburn (from Radical Femininity). I don't know why people do that either... 

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

2 hours ago, Carm_88 said:

Haha I'm not sure either. I don't see amy features that are super common.

Red hair maybe?  

Ooh! So if I ever get to visit Newfoundland, I might blend in until I open my mouth and speak? 

[Four is Enough]

@melon, if you want to sound like a local, it's "LANK-aster", NOT, "LAN-Caster"

Baltimore is trickier.. but if you don't want to sound like a baltimoron, listen to the newscasters on the tv. WJZ or WBAL.  Do NOT imitate Marty Bass. He's a Baltimoron from way back.

Mr. Four's Baltimore accent is so pronounced that sometimes I still don't know what he's saying....

[LimeKitty]

7 hours ago, Sky with diamonds said:

I have always been told throughout my life I don't look like the "typical Newfoundlander". What the heck is a "typical Newfoundlander" supposed to look like?

 

My SO is British and gets told often he doesn't "look British". He has a very olive complexion, as well as dark hair and dark eyes. People generally think of Brits as having a very pale complexion. He usually just shrugs it off and says that more people think he is Italian rather than British. He does the same when people mistake his accent for an Australian accent. He doesn't feel the need to get offended and get his panties in a bunch. 

[melon]

1 hour ago, Four is Enough said:

@melon, if you want to sound like a local, it's "LANK-aster", NOT, "LAN-Caster"

Baltimore is trickier.. but if you don't want to sound like a baltimoron, listen to the newscasters on the tv. WJZ or WBAL.  Do NOT imitate Marty Bass. He's a Baltimoron from way back.

Mr. Four's Baltimore accent is so pronounced that sometimes I still don't know what he's saying....

Yes!The first way,is the way we pronounce it ,and all of the locals we know,too.

[spacecase33]

 

4 hours ago, melon said:

Yes!The first way,is the way we pronounce it ,and all of the locals we know,too.

Yep, sounds like you've got it right!   It's the middle syllable that people most often get wrong.

[melon]

I live in Coastal South Carolina.One summer,I met a group of friends,and we rented a beach house at Myrtle Beach ,for a few days.They were from WV,WI,FL,and PA.We went on a boat tour one day,and we drove into another county,there was a sign,Horry.The "H" is silent....they all laughed and kept saying" Whore-E." I remained silent,I didn't want to seem like a know it all.

[mydoggoskeeper]

On 2/27/2018 at 9:40 AM, kachuu said:

I'm from the South and have heard the "what are they" in hushed voices away from the person. Racism is quiet, subtle and sadly alive in all places. I married someone from NY and i was surprised to find out how much racist comments spewed from my in-laws mouths. Southerners get a bad rap for it but in reality, that shit is everywhere.

Also, side note, mixed babies are usually the most gorgeous people - sorry not sorry. So I'm wondering if the "what are you" is said with a bit of envy. We white people just come in different shades of pasty 

3

As one of those "ethnically ambiguous" people, I am asked regularly "what are you?".    By regularly I mean at least once a week.    I was at an upscale ski resort out west this weekend and a waiter inquired what I was and said I looked Russian (yay for high cheekbones?).  Normally I brush it off as idle curiosity but this was supposedly a fine dining restaurant and when did that become appropriate?!?

When I lived in London, I must have thrown many of the natives a loop with my accent because I can't tell you how many times I was told I don't look "American."   For the record, both sides of my family have been American citizens for at least four generations and I have five ancestors who fought in the American Revolution.  

[Four is Enough]

I have a friend who talked about her husband a lot, but I never saw a picture of him until this blonder than blonde woman showed me one.. he was born in Hawaii, had Polynesian features and coloring .. and it just surprised me, because I knew she was Mormon, from the mainland, and she noticed that I was surprised. I tried to cover it by saying how "exotically handsome" he was..she was quite gracious, and told me how they met in Hawaii, but I was so embarrassed and didn't know how to express my embarrassment and complete shame at being taken aback. I want to say, "it wasn't racist", but why would I have been so surprised?

[Cleopatra7]

15 minutes ago, Four is Enough said:

I have a friend who talked about her husband a lot, but I never saw a picture of him until this blonder than blonde woman showed me one.. he was born in Hawaii, had Polynesian features and coloring .. and it just surprised me, because I knew she was Mormon, from the mainland, and she noticed that I was surprised. I tried to cover it by saying how "exotically handsome" he was..she was quite gracious, and told me how they met in Hawaii, but I was so embarrassed and didn't know how to express my embarrassment and complete shame at being taken aback. I want to say, "it wasn't racist", but why would I have been so surprised?

There is a large Mormon community among Pacific Islanders, because the LDS Church thinks they are related to Hagoth, a character from the Book of Mormon:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mormonism_and_Pacific_Islanders

[mango_fandango]

“What are you?” is a stupid way of asking it. If someone asked me that I’d just be tempted to go “err, human?” or something. Given that I’m white though I probably wouldn’t be asked. 

How do you pronounce Baltimore??