smiles and trials

[Feberin]

I think this is a very interesting thread. I only took the SATs no other major tests. I went to a four year university. I do agree you can save a lot of money at a community college but sometimes the universities won't count the credits you earned there, which happened to a number of my friends. Another interesting thing about US schools at least around me is that they move up the age for starting kindergarten so kids are starting even older and since expectations in the early grades are increasing more kids are being held back. So you have a lot of 19 year olds still in high school.

[mockingbird]

While we are on the subject, can someone explain the difference between 6th year and A levels in the Scottish/UK system? My understanding was that you could leave school after GCSEs or stay on to do A levels... is 6th year another year after that?

Like someone else said the US system is not standardized. But basically you take 4 years of high school classes. Your grades in these classes are sent to colleges, that is I think why we don't tend to take subject tests (although that would standardize grades a bit as grading scales and how hard classes are vary depending on the school).

You typically take a standardized test during your third year and then apply to college during your fourth year. It actually depends on the colleges you are going to apply to and what they require. Colleges in the midwest tend to favor the ACT, for example. They will look at your SAT scores but require the ACT. I took both but some people I knew only took one because they were only applying locally where all the schools favored one test over the other, but I wanted to leave the state so I took both.

The various "subject tests" are probably close to A-levels but I don't think they are quite as difficult. IB seems to be the only somewhat true equivalent and it's not offered routinely. AP tests are national standardized tests that you take in May. Generally you have to take a class at your high school that follows the curriculum for that subject set up by the AP foundation (the teacher has to be certified by them to teach an official AP class), but there is a way to take the test if you are homeschooled or your school doesn't offer APs, I'm just not sure how you go about that. If you get a good score (1-5, 5 is the best) many colleges will accept these tests for college credit, typically for the general education courses you would take your first two years. I actually got about a year of credit out of APs. They are specific subjects like Physics, Calculus, different languages, European History, American History, English literature, Studio Art, etc. There are also CLEP tests which you can also take for credit, but they don't have classes that go with them as far as I know. This is what College Minus does - it's basically classes preparing you for the CLEP tests so you can test out of college credits. I don't know much about them. THEN there are SAT II subject tests, which test general knowledge in the subject area and I think some of the schools I applied to also counted those for college credit. The more "elite" schools I applied to required you to take 2 of them but you could pick the subject. Most people I know did not take them unless they were applying somewhere that required them. I think they may have become less popular over the years as AP became more popular.

My state also had a standardized graduation test which was IMO the embodiment of all the problems you hear about regarding standardized tests. We spent weeks just learning how to format our answers. You would think they'd make the actual material they were testing on the focus of the test rather than having us be trained in a special way to write out our answers.

To get my medical degree here I did a 4 year college/university degree and am in medical (professional) school now for 4 years to earn a doctorate. The first two years are in the classroom and the next two are spent learning "hands on" in hospitals. Then we have to complete residency which is at least 3 years (or more depending on the specialty) which I think is similar to the "junior doctor" etc. system - basically you have the degree and earn your license but still have supervision, decreasing as you complete your residency program. The main drawback is definitely time. But I was able to complete a degree in something totally unrelated to medicine (my bachelor's degree is in English literature), had time to study abroad (in Scotland no less! lol) and grew up a little. Doing the straight route from high school-college-med school is actually becoming more unusual and more people are taking time off after college. I am one of the youngest in my class, but I was certain about what I wanted to do and didn't really have anything I particularly wanted to do during a gap year(s). It is similar for things like dentistry, PT, OT, pharmacy, etc. but most are 3 year programs instead of 4 years and I don't believe they have required residency like we do. Also, there are some undergraduate schools that have a partnership with professional schools where you are conditionally co-admitted to the professional school, and then follow a strict undergrad curriculum that allows you to get the requirements done in a shorter amount of time (2-3 years vs. 4) so you can move onto professional school earlier.

[littlehouse]

I have been following the blog for a couple years now, oh my. Anyways, it has gone private. If I can ask, does anyone know what made her shut it down?

[jegfile]

Christine is back blogging at 18andnotcounting.blogspot.ca - it looks like Rachel moved out and that's what caused her to shut down smiles and trials. It must have been something a little more than that to provoke such a strong reaction but she is (wisely) protecting Rachel's privacy and not going into detail.

[Pastors Daughter]

Christine is back blogging at 18andnotcounting.blogspot.ca - it looks like Rachel moved out and that's what caused her to shut down smiles and trials. It must have been something a little more than that to provoke such a strong reaction but she is (wisely) protecting Rachel's privacy and not going into detail.

Thanks very much for the updated blog address! I've been reading Smiles and Trials since before Dennis' adoption and enjoyed her very balanced views and family experiences and have definitely wondered why the blog had ended.

[jegfile]

Christine is back up at the original Smiles and Trials.

[jegfile]

Christine of Smiles and Trials hasn't been blogging the way she did before Rachel (oldest daughter, adopted via disruption) flew the coup but there's a big update today. Julia (18 years old and only biological daughter) is engaged! Her fiance is cute (although he doesn't seem to have a name) but 18??? Isn't that young? No word on the wedding date but Julia heads back to an orphanage in Guatemala for 3 months very soon so maybe they're going to wait. Let's hope she gets some education before she says, "I do".

[Grimalkin]

   My eldest recently turned 18. I can't imagine her married. I don't want to either.

[PopRox]

I'm picturing myself at 18, and can't imagine getting married at that stage of my life.

That said, a friend of mine married at 19 to a guy she'd known less than a year; they've been married 9 years now, have two beautiful children and a great relationship (but she grew up in the normal, well-adjusted world and not fundydom).

I'm not familiar with this family at all, but I wish their bride-to-be daughter all the best.

[princessmahina]

I was a complete moron at 18 and thought I knew everything (the older I get, the more knowledge seems to fly out of my head-- I don't feel nearly as smart as I did back then ), as were most of my friends. For her sake, I hope she has a more level head on her shoulders than we did.

[libriatrix]

It's young but I don't think it's ridiculously young. I would be more worried about her level of sheltered-ness than her chronological age. If she's spending significant time volunteering in Guatemala, she might actually be farther along in developing maturity than many of the fundie SAHDs who are older than her. I don't really know, though, as I haven't followed this family at all.

[MamaJunebug]

On August 27, 2016 at 6:19 AM, jegfile said:

Christine of Smiles and Trials hasn't been blogging the way she did before Rachel (oldest daughter, adopted via disruption) flew the coup but there's a big update today. Julia (18 years old and only biological daughter) is engaged! Her fiance is cute (although he doesn't seem to have a name) but 18??? Isn't that young? No word on the wedding date but Julia heads back to an orphanage in Guatemala for 3 months very soon so maybe they're going to wait. Let's hope she gets some education before she says, "I do".

Quick question if I may? What does "adopted by disruption" mean? Thank you!

[Lurky]

@MamaJunebug From what I can tell, "adopted via disruption" is when 1 family adopts a child, privately, and usually from abroad, and not with social service oversight/support, and the adoption placement breaks down*, so they pass the child on to a different family - all done privately.   As you can imagine, this is often a recipe for disaster - as Reuters described:
http://www.reuters.com/investigates/adoption/#article/part1

* It seems as though breakdowns are often tied to child collecting, unrealistic expectations and in some of the families talked about here, "what the hell were you doing in the first place???"

[JillyO]

To add to what @Lurky said, this practice is often referred to as "rehoming". It is frequently mentioned on FJ adoption threads because many fundy child collectors rehome their adopted children when they don't turn out to be exactly what the fundy family wanted, and other fundies adopt rehomed children ("adopted via disruption"), often because they are not eligible for regular adoptions anymore. Here is a whole thread about the topic:

Caution, it'll get your blood boiling.

[Inthemadhouse]

For most people, I would shrug and think them foolish, but we all make stupid choices at 18.  But once this girl ties the knot, she has no choices left if it starts to strangle her.  I'm going to guess that divorce is a big evil no-no in this family.
Though she may still consider it better then being at home,  I don't see her as having many other choices other then raising her mothers children or going on a mission trip.
 

[peacelovecoffee]

Coming out of lurkdome & beyond thrilled to finally be able to discuss this with people who saw the blog...

Has there ever been pictures with more awkward body language than their couple pictures?! Her face says, "Squeeee I'm so happy" but her body language screams, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" He looks like a nice guy & totally into her but it made me so sad for her nonetheless.  

 

[jegfile]

I did a bit of research today and I think Rachel got married on June 25th. I assume she moved in with her fiance two years ago when Christine stopped blogging. We never heard the story but it was clear that Christine was extremely disappointed in someone (very passive-aggressive Facebooking). 

You never see Rachel in any family pictures and she wasn't included in the huge trip to the tropics that the Reeds went on last year. I really, really hope that someone went to her wedding (unless she didn't want to include them as is her right). She doesn't seem to be friends with any parents/siblings on Facebook but there are a few posts from aunts etc.

 

[season of life]

I am 18. Can't imagine living on my own, let alone getting married. I know it works out fine for some, but...

My fear when I hear about young marriages is that these eighteen-year-olds are going to have babies quickly. At least wait till you reach your twenties.

[mango_fandango]

I went to university at eighteen, so was essentially on my own... well. That's what's good about university. You learn to live on your own and how to budget and so on, but you also have the support network of the university to fall back on. Moving out alone completely, though- nuh uh. No way, no how. Getting married? No. Although I guess it's partly to do with maturity. Alyssa Bates got married at 19 and has seemed to do really well so far. Some eighteen year olds are really mature for their age, some are not.

[Grimalkin]

15 minutes ago, season of life said:

I am 18. Can't imagine living on my own, let alone getting married. I know it works out fine for some, but...

My fear when I hear about young marriages is that these eighteen-year-olds are going to have babies quickly. At least wait till you reach your twenties.

  Sure it works out, but it's hard. Or it works out eventually but after a lot of bumps. Most people make mistakes and mess up. The good news is that most of these mistakes can be fixed.

      I would be sad, and sort of excited for her, if my daughter moved out . Less sad if it were to go away to college though, as she is taking time off for now. Either way she seems to be enjoying being 18 and I'm thrilled with that.

          

[JMarie]

So the child does something the mom doesn't approve of, and the child is conveniently Not Mentioned In Polite Society?  Sound familiar?  LIke as in the Jeubs and the Penningtons?

[JillyO]

2 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

I went to university at eighteen, so was essentially on my own... well. That's what's good about university. You learn to live on your own and how to budget and so on, but you also have the support network of the university to fall back on. Moving out alone completely, though- nuh uh. No way, no how. Getting married? No. Although I guess it's partly to do with maturity. Alyssa Bates got married at 19 and has seemed to do really well so far. Some eighteen year olds are really mature for their age, some are not.

This all works really differently in Germany. There's no such thing as on-campus housing, so when I went away to college four weeks after my 18th birthday, I really did move out on my own (well, I shared my apartment with someone, but still). 400 miles away from home, in a city where I really didn't know anyone, at a university where everything was new, in my own apartment when I'd never lived away from my parents for any lenth of time. You learn FAST. It was an amazing time, I grew so much through it. But I knew I wasn't stuck there, and I had chosen this for myself (and not out of two choices - staying home and raising my parents' kids or getting married and starting my own brood - but out of a literally endless number of choices). If I hadn't liked it, I could have transfered to a university closer to home. I could have dropped out. Hell, I could have moved back into my parents' house if I'd really wanted. Julia really has no plan B, so I hope this works out for her.

[CyborgKin]

I was pretty clueless at 18.  And at 21.  I'm not a heap better now.

Maybe marriage would have helped me.  More likely it would have turned out terribly.

[BackseatMom]

Holy god. Disrupted adoptions might be one of the grossest, most exploitive things I've heard about in a while. Monsters all the way around.

[Anonymousguest]

Disrupted adoptions happen in domestic private adoptions and from foster care as well. It happens because the system stinks, and some kids and families are just not a good fit, but you can't tell that when the only contact the 2 have before a permanent placement is a few visits and a single overnight.  A friend of mine is a child psychologist and therapist who specializes in adoption counseling and associated disorders like RAD. Most of her clients are from the foster care system, and failed adoptions from foster care are not all that uncommon. 

I got married at 19, it worked for us. Our parents didn't approve though. And I can't imagine any of my own kids getting married that young!