Ben Carson: Being Gay Is A Choice

[moodygirl86]

I also would (and still do) help friends/kids/people I know with classwork (tutoring/studying with for anything except math, chem, or physics- and I can even teach lower-level Spanish and German). I just need to convert that into work and fit it around school and exams...I'd rather do something for money than take charity, if I'm going to need additional income, you know?

Go for it!

Totally feel you on the independence thing. I was just talking to a mate this afternoon; he knows I'm between jobs and asked why I couldn't work part time as I'd still be entitled to partial benefits. I explained that for me personally, that would defeat the point of getting work. The rules are that you can work for under 16 hours per week while claiming Jobseekers', but the DWP deduct it from your claim and only let you keep the first fiver! So you're really not much better off doing that at all. Thanks to the recession, this is now my 13th spell on the dole since 2008; but one of the most glorious things about signing off benefits is not having to deal with the Jobcentre and their beauracracy. And even they agree that you should be better off working than signing on, so they understand it's not really worth it for less than 30 hours per week based on our hourly minimum wage.

[apple1]

Well, I can't really help myself from commenting on the off-topic thing about parents helping adult kids.

My kids are adults, and I have grandkids by one daughter.

My second adult daughter, 31, still lives with us. Hopefully, as her income increases (she does have a college education in a practical field) - she will decide to move out. She has had a few job setbacks.

My other daughter is married and has two kids, and has her own house. We have helped her as much as we are able. She has been driving one of our cars for 9 months at present. It is just a plain old fact that we can't help her with everything. We don't have it. My hubby is "retired" and on social security. I work - and work - and work. We do what we can - but we are also at that point in our lives that we have to look out for ourselves (to a certain degree) - otherwise, in a few years, we might be needing them to take US in.

I just had to say that part. Sometimes parents not providing certain support to adult kids is because the parents don't have it. Fact: We have worked hard and tried to be wise - but we don't make enough to fully support additional households outside of our own. Just fact. None of it has to do with sexual orientation, nor any disagreement with our adult kids' lives. It's just that money only goes so far.

[roddma]

I never mean to offend nor expected anyone to give financial history. I guess i Have seen parents taken advantage of-my late MIL was one of them. my BIL lived way beyond their means. People I know have bailed their kids out jail or some other trouble so many times it isnt funny. One couple i know had a son around my age commit suicide last summer. He just wouldnt change. He and his brother in jail countless times and got helped with other stuff. The brother has been in jail. As said above, the money only goes so far. But lawlife@That isnt right at all. You are trying. I think sometimes just look for any excuse.

[feministxtian]

I never mean to offend nor expected anyone to give financial history. I guess i Have seen parents taken advantage of-my late MIL was one of them. my BIL lived way beyond their means. People I know have bailed their kids out jail or some other trouble so many times it isnt funny. One couple i know had a son around my age commit suicide last summer. He just wouldnt change. He and his brother in jail countless times and got helped with other stuff. The brother has been in jail. As said above, the money only goes so far. But lawlife@That isnt right at all. You are trying. I think sometimes just look for any excuse.

You asked why my DIL didn't get a job too...inferring she is "lazy". My son works VERY hard and goes to school full time. Daycare for a toddler is upwards of 200 dollars a week. It makes more sense for her to stay home with the baby and help around the house AND keep an eye out for my husband who is a brittle diabetic. He can go from perfectly fine to up a creek in a heartbeat. So...I have no problem with her not working. I make decent money to take care of our household expenses. I am more concerned with my son and his family doing what THEY need to do to get on their feet and be independent. Him finishing school is THE MOST important thing right now. I love having them here. It works for us.

So...some folks make reasoned, rational decisions to help family members (children especially) and some folks don't. I too know many parents that have been taken advantage of by their children. However, my family is not one of them.

[roddma]

I Never asked why she didnt get a job and never called her lazy -Im ending this now