Answer to what I've always wondered about homebirth

[clarinetpower]

http://www.regretsy.com/2011/08/23/perfect-seeper/

Gross.

[kb2]

Hahaha, at least they admitted it was there in the ad, instead of covering it up and selling it to someone.

[ladypuglover]

Uhhhh, that is beyond gross and should be illegal.... even if it is heart shaped. :snooty:

[keeperrox]

Haha! I knew what this was before I even opened the post. I lurve Regretsy.

[Kitty]

....

...

.........

WHY?!

[Guest Anonymous]

http://nooooooooooooooo.com/

[Kaylee]

OMG, this is why some places have laws about selling used bedding. :(

Seriously though, there are waterproof mattress covers which would really be worth using if you were planning a homebirth (we put one on the bed under a quilted mattress pad in case my water broke, and I planned a hospital birth). It's also another good reason to go the waterbirth route if you do give birth at home.

[doggie]

but hey buy used save the difference. in this case it is a few thousand you save.

[Feberin]

We also did a waterproof pad incase my water broke in bed.

I love how they make a fuss that it's shaped like a heart. I wonder if there were any takers.

[fundifugee]

eeuuww.

This is why, on her list of supplies to have on hand for your homebirth, our midwife includes shower curtains to put over the mattress under the sheets, as well as a sheet set that you don't mind bleaching or throwing out, and lots and lots of towels.

This is also the reason why I would not have a home birth. Not that it is significantly more dangerous, when competently attended, but just the MESS. In hospital we all just whisk the mess away for you. Who would want to deal with a heap of bloody (etc.) laundry right after giving birth? Not to mention the mess that sometimes ends up on the floor, and sometimes even the walls, ceiling, light fixtures, curtains, etc.

[xDreamerx]

eeuuww.

This is why, on her list of supplies to have on hand for your homebirth, our midwife includes shower curtains to put over the mattress under the sheets, as well as a sheet set that you don't mind bleaching or throwing out, and lots and lots of towels.

This is also the reason why I would not have a home birth. Not that it is significantly more dangerous, when competently attended, but just the MESS. In hospital we all just whisk the mess away for you. Who would want to deal with a heap of bloody (etc.) laundry right after giving birth? Not to mention the mess that sometimes ends up on the floor, and sometimes even the walls, ceiling, light fixtures, curtains, etc.

I'm sorry, but does the birthing process turn the vagina into something from the exorcist? Add this to the growing number of reasons I am turned off by the idea of giving birth.

Is a heart shaped afterbirth stain the fundie equivalent of seeing the Virgin Mary in your burnt toast and/or grilled cheese sandwich?

[ladypuglover]

I'm sorry, but does the birthing process turn the vagina into something from the exorcist? Add this to the growing number of reasons I am turned off by the idea of giving birth.

Is a heart shaped afterbirth stain the fundie equivalent of seeing the Virgin Mary in your burnt toast and/or grilled cheese sandwich?

It can and yes to both questions.

[Guest Anonymous]

I'm sorry, but does the birthing process turn the vagina into something from the exorcist? Add this to the growing number of reasons I am turned off by the idea of giving birth.

Is a heart shaped afterbirth stain the fundie equivalent of seeing the Virgin Mary in your burnt toast and/or grilled cheese sandwich?

Oh my gosh - there's a Margaret Cho bit about how she was present when her friend gave birth, and it's hilarious. But yeah, that's about how she describes it.

I helped deliver one of my best friend's children. I just was so amazed by my friend, because she was not just a woman, she was not just a mother. At that moment she was creation; she was life; she was God. And as I looked in her eyes, BOOM! Her pussy exploded.

[doggie]

I'm sorry, but does the birthing process turn the vagina into something from the exorcist? Add this to the growing number of reasons I am turned off by the idea of giving birth.

Yes it does I have seen it up close and what comes out looks of the devil at least at first. Just saying from a guys opinion.

[fundifugee]

Ummm, the heart-shaped bloodstain is a bloody butt print, not a placenta-print.

Placentas are round. However, bums that have been sitting in a puddle of blood while everyone goes nuts over the new baby leave prints like that (two butt cheeks there, not a heart, or a placenta).

$500 is pretty shocking. How about, free and I'll pay you to take it away.

[ChickeyMonkey]

eeuuww.

This is why, on her list of supplies to have on hand for your homebirth, our midwife includes shower curtains to put over the mattress under the sheets, as well as a sheet set that you don't mind bleaching or throwing out, and lots and lots of towels.

This is also the reason why I would not have a home birth. Not that it is significantly more dangerous, when competently attended, but just the MESS. In hospital we all just whisk the mess away for you. Who would want to deal with a heap of bloody (etc.) laundry right after giving birth? Not to mention the mess that sometimes ends up on the floor, and sometimes even the walls, ceiling, light fixtures, curtains, etc.

I had blood get on my Reef flip flops in the hospital. At least they were black so it wasn't noticeable, but I tossed them the minute I got home.

[Guest Anonymous]

http://www.regretsy.com/2011/08/23/perfect-seeper/

Gross.

idiots pure and simple. I had planned for a homebirth, bought a plastic fitted sheet, selected a comfortable cotton quilted mattress cover for over it (goodwill, I knew it would get tossed) and some of those blue absorbent bed pads they use in the hospital. I also got a nice soft flannel sheet at the good will. So first the waterproof mattress cover, then the pad, then the flannel sheet, then the bed pads.

In the end I had to be transported. But there was no way I was going to kill my mattress.

Ya cannot possibly get the skank of birthing fluids out of a tempurpedic.

[Katiebug]

I had blood get on my Reef flip flops in the hospital. At least they were black so it wasn't noticeable, but I tossed them the minute I got home.

Yeah, I had bought a new pair of Adidas slides and wore them to what ended up being my last prenatal appointment because I was in denial and thought I was just fine - he sent me right to the hospital for an induction because I had preeclampsia, and naturally I had neglected to put any other shoes into my hospital bag. My water broke spontaneously while we were walking the halls of the maternity unit (I wanted to have gravity's help and knew I'd be confined to bed once in active labor so they could start mag sulfate) and my lovely new sandals were soaked in amniotic fluid. I hosed them off in the shower in my L&D room but the damage was done. I threw the things out about 10 minutes after we got home.

Our bed has had a waterproof mattress cover on it since early in my pregnancy. That $20 mattress cover from Target has saved our $900 mattress several times. I can't imagine why someone planning a homebirth wouldn't be prepared for such a thing!

I did love how giving birth in the hospital meant that the nurses and aides cleaned everything up afterwards, including me. :lol:

[contrary]

HAHAHAHA. omg. i love how it has an arrow pointing to a 'heart shaped design'

i bet it's Joanna's old mattress behind the shed that she's trying to get rid of before her husband forgets to put it out on the next bulk pickup day.

[OddLittleBird]

Um, YUCK. Don't these people have competent birth attendants? :shock: (and common sense? :doh: )

I've had two homebirths, for non-religious reasons , and I'm a labor support person myself. All the births I've ever attended leave the house/bed literally spotless, and the cleanup happens in like, 15 minutes while both parents relax, drink wine and eat takeout. True story.

Seriously, only idiot attendants and really unprepared parents end up with a bloody mess. Planned home births are typically pristine and way pleasant. I end up with clean everything, flowers, good food, the vacuum run, all my linens spotless and the royal treatment. Certainly not a mess. Crap, what an awful, unfortunate myth. :? Sorry, soapbox. :P

Who sells things like that? ::doh:: Ahhhh, regretsy. :D

That said, I'd never buy a used mattress cover, anyway.

[clibbyjo]

EWWWWWWWWWW. :snooty:

[Austin]

eeuuww.

This is also the reason why I would not have a home birth. Not that it is significantly more dangerous, when competently attended, but just the MESS. In hospital we all just whisk the mess away for you. Who would want to deal with a heap of bloody (etc.) laundry right after giving birth? Not to mention the mess that sometimes ends up on the floor, and sometimes even the walls, ceiling, light fixtures, curtains, etc.

As an amusing aside (to me, anyway), our eldest son has very close friends who are a young married couple, married for about two years. Several months ago, the young wife gave birth unexpectedly at home. I say unexpectedly because she didn't know she was pregnant (a whole completely different story) so when the couple realized what was happening, they called 9-1-1 and while the squad was in route, the 9-1-1 operator talked the husband through the process of delivering their baby. So everything was okay, although baby was small, so they transported new mom and baby to the hospital where they were both admitted.

So the next day, our son and several of his/their other friends (all college-aged, 21 or 22 years old) thought it would be nice to go over to their apartment and clean up for them before the new family came home. My son came home with big eyes a few hours later. He said, "Mom, it looked like a crime scene!" And we all had a good laugh about it. Obviously, though, since they weren't expecting the birth, the mess wasn't contained like it might have been otherwise. But we just all thought his reaction was pretty funny.

[Marserin]

Um, YUCK. Don't these people have competent birth attendants? :shock: (and common sense? :doh: )

I've had two homebirths, for non-religious reasons , and I'm a labor support person myself. All the births I've ever attended leave the house/bed literally spotless, and the cleanup happens in like, 15 minutes while both parents relax, drink wine and eat takeout. True story.

Seriously, only idiot attendants and really unprepared parents end up with a bloody mess. Planned home births are typically pristine and way pleasant. I end up with clean everything, flowers, good food, the vacuum run, all my linens spotless and the royal treatment. Certainly not a mess. Crap, what an awful, unfortunate myth. :? Sorry, soapbox. :P

Who sells things like that? ::doh:: Ahhhh, regretsy. :D

That said, I'd never buy a used mattress cover, anyway.

I am hoping to get knocked-up soon (fingers crossed/thumbs held). And because Illinois is a crap state for birth centers, my wife and I considered a home birth. Now I am sure for most people home birth can be a neat "pristine" thing. But I can trash a kitchen getting myself a glass of water. There would be mess if I had a home birth. Trufax.

[OddLittleBird]

That's what a birth team is for, lol. You can still go spray water all over the kitchen if you want, though. :D Most midwives (get a certified one, not direct entry...some of those are complete whackjobs) have mad skills running a birth smoothly. All you have to "do" is tell your wife frequently that she's a freaking amazing goddess of awesomeness, really. Once a midwife has done several hundred births, they tend to have the whole thing to an artistic science. I'll add, though, that I wouldn't go with homebirth or a birth center birth unless that's what *she* (your partner) wants and is 100% gung-ho about it; otherwise, you can end up with the same kind of buyers remorse that some women get from hospital births. It's all about the lady, and what she wants. Mkay. Sorry for the derail.

[TVR]

I've never had big messes after my homebirths. A few weeks before the birth I make my bed with fresh sheets, then cover with a plastic sheet, then make with old sheets. If I end up birthing on the bed (and I usually don't, I have waterbirths, and the liner just comes out of the birthing pool and is thrown away) or there is any mess, I just strip all the dirty sheet off and depending on the mess, it goes in the machine or else it goes in the garbage. Then I have a nice fresh sheet to sleep on :)

My midwives have also always been super nice and helpful!