They're Gay, They're Christian And They're Celibate!

[doggie]

well looks like x-gay is failing so now we can be gay but we can't have sex. this may work for some but most will not be able to do it. really the only good thing I can see is that atleast they admit they are gay and can't change.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/08/0 ... 49015.html

(RNS) When Julie Rodgers came out as a lesbian at age 17, her mom responded by taking her to an ex-gay ministry in Dallas. Rodgers had grown up in a nondenominational evangelical church where she assumed being gay wasn’t an option.

“With ex-gay ministries, it gave me the space to be honest about my sexuality,†said Rodgers, now 28. Yet that same honesty eventually led her away from ex-gay ministries.

Rodgers spent several years in Exodus, the now-defunct ex-gay ministry, before deciding she couldn’t become straight after trying to date men. Instead, she has chosen celibacy.

When Exodus shut down in 2013, some said it spelled the end of ex-gay ministries that encourage reparative or conversion therapy for gays to become straight. Ex-gay groups such as Restored Hope Network stepped in to the gap, but many religious leaders are now encouraging those with same-sex orientation or attraction to consider a life of celibacy.

For years, those who were gay or struggled with homosexuality felt like they had few good options: leave their faith, ignore their sexuality or try to change. But as groups like Exodus have become increasingly unpopular, Rodgers is among those who embrace a different model: celibate gay Christians, who seek to be true to both their sexuality and their faith.

Straddling one of America’s deepest cultural divides, Vanessa Vitiello Urquhart wrote in a recent piece for Slate that celibate gay Christians present a challenge to the tolerance of both their churches and the secular LGBT community. Those celibate gay Christians often find themselves trying to translate one side for the other.

But frequently, neither side really understands what it’s hearing.

“We can be easily misunderstood, to put it nicely, by both sides of the culture war,†Rodgers said. “For those who have a more affirming position, it’s as if we’re repressed, self-hated homophobes, encouraging the church to stand in its position on sexuality. And conservative Christians think that those who shift on sexuality are being rebellious.â€

Moving from ex-gay

Christians’ shift away from ex-gay therapy came amid larger cultural changes, including a wider societal acceptance of homosexuality and a rapid embrace of same-sex civil marriage.

[utter solitude]

All I think of when I read this kind of thing is a (gay) friend's young son asking his grandmother (after she'd told him being gay was "a sin") "Doesn't Jesus love everyone? Why would he make someone gay and then tell them it's wrong?"

[jerkit]

I'm having trouble getting it up to snark on this. You're an adult and choose not to have sex? Meh, that's cool.

[Firiel]

I'm having trouble getting it up to snark on this. You're an adult and choose not to have sex? Meh, that's cool.

That's the way I feel too. They are living according to their personal convictions.

A lot of gay Christians who choose to be celibate will also accept and support other gay Christians' choice to pursue Christ-centered romantic (and eventually sexual) relationships. From what I've seen of the celibate gay Christian community, they tend to not run around saying, "YOU MUST BE CELIBATE TOO OR ELSE HELL!"

Although I'm sure some of the above do exist. I just haven't seen it personally.

[FloraKitty35]

If someone's celibate that's their business, however it's not the cure all to being gay.

[utter solitude]

If someone's celibate that's their business, however it's not the cure all to being gay.

^^^^THIS. Unfortunately, I've all too often seen it touted that way. My own mother does.

I gave an example earlier of a gay friend's young son (he's four). He was adopted, quite luckily, when a friend of the couple discovered she was pregnant while using an IUD. Oh how the mother I mentioned above rallied against it! "That child should go to a good CHRISTIAN home!" and telling her son and his partner that they NEED to be celibate and live for Christ, otherwise they'll go to hell. Nevermind that they're both active Christians. She's lightened up quite a bit since their son was born, but still has a long way to go, and it took her quite a while to accept that her son wasn't going to marry a nice young Bible thumping woman who would pop out babies for her.

You want to honor your god/savior by being celibate? That's wonderful, and I respect the shit out of that.

What gets me is when you try to force this, or anything, on others. ESPECIALLY when it doesn't even apply to you.

[Firiel]

^^^^THIS. Unfortunately, I've all too often seen it touted that way. My own mother does.

I gave an example earlier of a gay friend's young son (he's four). He was adopted, quite luckily, when a friend of the couple discovered she was pregnant while using an IUD. Oh how the mother I mentioned above rallied against it! "That child should go to a good CHRISTIAN home!" and telling her son and his partner that they NEED to be celibate and live for Christ, otherwise they'll go to hell. Nevermind that they're both active Christians. She's lightened up quite a bit since their son was born, but still has a long way to go, and it took her quite a while to accept that her son wasn't going to marry a nice young Bible thumping woman who would pop out babies for her.

You want to honor your god/savior by being celibate? That's wonderful, and I respect the shit out of that.

What gets me is when you try to force this, or anything, on others. ESPECIALLY when it doesn't even apply to you.

And I do also agree with this. Reading the whole of the article, it contained a lot of examples of married, straight men talking about how it's okay to be gay IF you are celibate. That definitely bothers me.

I respect the hell out of gay Christians who have chosen to be celibate because of their religious convictions because celibacy isn't an easy choice to make.

I also respect the hell out of gay Christians who have chosen to pursue romantic relationships with people they are attracted to because they believe that said relationships are not in conflict with Christianity. Choosing to stand up for your religious convictions and your happiness with all the crap that comes along with it (in this case) is also not an easy choice to make.

[DGayle]

That's the way I feel too. They are living according to their personal convictions.

Is it really a choice if you're celibate because you feel your god will forsake you if you're not? It's a coerced decision, not something decided freely.

[utter solitude]

Is it really a choice if you're celibate because you feel your god will forsake you if you're not? It's a coerced decision, not something decided freely.

You raise a good point and I agree, mostly. But isn't it kind of the same with a number of other things? My nephew's mother believes that if she doesn't go to church EVERY week she's committing some grave infraction on God. I knew several people who wouldn't say anything like "Oh my gosh!" because it was "just like" taking the Lord's name in vain, and that's the only reason they made that decision. Or monks that choose to be celibate because they believe god wants them to meditate or worship or whatever they do.

I don't agree with the idea of eschewing relationships because you're a gay Christian, but then, I don't really agree with Christianity in the first place. I just have a lot of respect for the kind of discipline and devotion that would require...

[Firiel]

Is it really a choice if you're celibate because you feel your god will forsake you if you're not? It's a coerced decision, not something decided freely.

A lot (not all!) of gay, celibate Christians accept gay non-celibate Christians as fellow non-hell bound believers who just interpret the Bible differently and thus live accordingly. I think some celibate, gay Christians are making a coerced decision because of a fear of hell, and that's sad and unfortunate. I don't think all are feeling coerced in that fashion, though their religious beliefs are clearly influencing their decisions.