Priest Says Devil Won't Stop Texting Him

[doggie]

so when is god going to learn to use technology?

Damnit Satan, don't you know about roaming charges?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/07/2 ... 30958.html

A Catholic priest in Poland apparently claims that the devil won't stop with his unlimited hexes, according to the Austrian Times.

Father Marian Rajchel, from Jaroslaw, Poland, said he attempted to perform an exorcism on a teenage girl. Things went awry, yadda yadda yadda, now Lucifer won't stop texting his phone.

The priest claimed that in one of the texts, sent from the phone of the supposedly possessed girl, the devil told him to give up trying to save her.

"She will not come out of this hell. She's mine. Anyone who prays for her will die," Rajchel said that Satan said.

"Shut up, preacher!" Satan furiously typed out. "You cannot save yourself. Idiot. You pathetic old preacher."

When the priest replied, Satan allegedly got super fussy about it, according to News AU.

The priest has expressed concern over the ongoing texts from the devil, according to The Daily Mail.

"Clearly this young girl has been possessed, and needs further help," he said.

Other text messages that Satan sent that we're totally making up include:

"a/s/l? mine is ?????/?????/Underworld."

"is it hot in here or is it just me? hahaha lol jk. no but for real it's super hot down here."

"favorite band? i like Hanson and Motorhead."

"yo u talked to jesus lately? is he still pissed at me???"

"rager at Genghis Khan's place tonight! u in?"

"lol every 1 is mad cuz i'm making them read the Twilight series."

"dude plz respond im just trying to make some friends."

[ILoveJellybeans]

Hahahaha she is obviously just messing with him :D I cant believe he thinks its from Satan, not from the teenager who owns the phone.

[thoughtful]

Doesn't Satan want to know if he has Prince Albert in a can, or if his refrigerator is running?

[ViolaSebastian]

"a/s/l? mine is ?????/?????/Underworld."

For whatever reason, this one in particular just slayed me. I love the lack of logic going on here: The priest think it's more likely that the devil is messaging him than a teenage girl who is pulling a prank. I know whenever I get a hang-up number or a dirty phone call, my first thought is "LUCIFER!" versus, you know, a drunk pervert.

[fun2beme]

It is rather amusing but I wonder how old and/or tech savvy the priest is? Or perhaps he has some degree of anxiety or paranoia to begin with and this makes it worse.

If not either of these cases, then... :mouse-shock:

[DGayle]

Maybe this is a set-up for another Exorcist movie.

Did you know the man who played the priest in the first one is a real-life priest?

[PrairieGirl]

Maybe this is a set-up for another Exorcist movie.

Did you know the man who played the priest in the first one is a real-life priest?

That would make a hilarious Excorist movie! But what if Hollywood texts him and he is too scared to text back? After all, we know that all of Hollywood is of the devil.

Maybe Kirk Cameron could direct this one then.

[Sweet Fellowship]

This is wonderful trolling. Not elaborate trolling by any means, but this was made so easy for the girl. :clap:

Satan's music taste isn't that bad!

[Sobeknofret]

I might change carriers if I can find out which has coverage all the way in Hell. :lol:

[docmom]

Wow, cell phone coverage and NO fundies. Hell's looking better and better.

[Arete]

So didn't the fact that "Satan" was addressing a CATHOLIC priest as "preacher" clue him in that this was not exactly directly from The Hot Place? After all, the Prince of Darkness is supposed to be smart, learned, and a stickler for correct address. ;)