Straight from the fundies' mouth

[polecat]

I came across an old "Biblical Families" textbook of mine from my Bible "college" days and just had to thumb through it for funsies. Here's what I learned (relearned?):

1. For wives

-- Don't expect gifts, extra time, praise, explanation of his whereabouts, to share his thoughts. These are all nice extras: Show excitement and love when you do get them.

-- Obey, function in a quiet spirit, know and practice meekness

-- God will give you what he wants you to have through your headship

2. For husbands

-- Let her complete your sex life.

-- Let her complete your home life.

-- Let her complete your God-given desire to lead.

(there's a little quiz here that asks how well the husband knows the wife and asks what color hair she has, what color eyes she has, when her birthday is, what's her phone number, etc., to which I can only say :? )

3. Marriage

-- Is not optional

-- Is permanent

-- God gave an incomplete woman to a complete man

4. Discipline (I'm assuming kids, but it doesn't specify and it is in the "marriage" section, so who knows)

-- Guilt

-- Physical pain

-- Separation/shunning

5. Parenting (I actually like most of these.)

-- Set a time with the child and lend an ear to his problems.

-- Do things together.

-- Allow the child to share your blind spots with you - don't discipline them for this but invite them to do it.

-- Build them up.

-- Train them up.

Honestly, so much of it made my head hurt. I'm not sure whether to recycle this, burn it or keep it around for posterity's sake. :(

[PrairieGirl]

A few years ago, I found some old yearbooks from my days at Fundy Elementary Hellhole, and along with signing their names in the yearbook, my friends had added their "life verses". I am sure I did the same in their yearbooks.

A big part of me wanted to literally set the stack on fire and dance around the pit, but I kept them. Every once in a while when I am feeling down, I will grab one and flip through it quickly just to be glad that I am no longer living that life.

[It'sFunToRun]

A few years ago, I found some old yearbooks from my days at Fundy Elementary Hellhole, and along with signing their names in the yearbook, my friends had added their "life verses". I am sure I did the same in their yearbooks.

A big part of me wanted to literally set the stack on fire and dance around the pit, but I kept them. Every once in a while when I am feeling down, I will grab one and flip through it quickly just to be glad that I am no longer living that life.

What are "life verses"?

[Firiel]

What are "life verses"?

Verses that a person chooses as kind of a mantra/theme/inspiration for their life. They are generally taken out of context and changed every couple of years. :roll:

[PrairieGirl]

What are "life verses"?

A specific verse in the Bible that we chose to define our lives. Kind of a "go to" verse that had a special meaning to you.

I cannot even remember what mine was. Most of us probably flipped open a Bible, put our finger down and wherever it landed, that was our verse.

[It'sFunToRun]

That seems like it could go wrong pretty easily with middle schoolers. Like that line about Balam going through Jerusalem on his ass, or choosing verses from the Song of Songs. Or do Fundy kids have all the humor beaten out of them by middle school?

[nokidsmom]

.... from my days at Fundy Elementary Hellhole...

This made me chuckle, though it was probably not a laughing matter at the time.

For one thing, keeping the yearbook would remind you how far you have gone and you didn't continue living that life.

[RosyDaisy]

All I can say is fuck that shit

[RachelB]

Verses that a person chooses as kind of a mantra/theme/inspiration for their life. They are generally taken out of context and changed every couple of years. :roll:

Heck, I would like a life chapter, which I think is a little harder to decontextualize. Back in college, someone read Isaiah 58 in its entirety at an event addressing global hunger and poverty. I was struck by how much longing I felt for the world it described, and how much I wanted to do the work it demanded. It has stuck with me for a good 15 years and is still probably the biggest factor in helping me determine how to donate money and time.

(Brief summary: God says, Your piety pisses me off, because you are such jerks to your neighbors. Here are some practical ways of being a more decent person. Do you want earth to look like the gorgeous place it is supposed to be? Get off your knees and start working on it. HONESTLY.)

Edited to add: It's prettier than the summary indicates. But God does sound pretty exasperated.

[PrairieGirl]

That seems like it could go wrong pretty easily with middle schoolers. Like that line about Balam going through Jerusalem on his ass, or choosing verses from the Song of Songs. Or do Fundy kids have all the humor beaten out of them by middle school?

I swear that in my 18 years of Fundydom, before I escaped, I never ever ever heard a verse read or a sermon preached from Song of Songs. Ever. And I heard a fuckton of sermons.

[polecat]

I swear that in my 18 years of Fundydom, before I escaped, I never ever ever heard a verse read or a sermon preached from Song of Songs. Ever. And I heard a fuckton of sermons.

I used to spend entire sermons searching for risque verses ... I'm sure my parents thought I was just being a dedicated little Christian girl. :shifty-kitty:

[Jessica]

I put a verse from SoS on my wedding invitation. Bwahaha!

Edited to delete what I realized was way too much personal info.

[mebeforee]

3. Marriage

-- Is not optional

-- Is permanent

-- God gave an incomplete woman to a complete man

Are we sure? I mean, Adam was the one who had a rib yanked out to create Eve. She clearly ended up with more than just one rib in her skeletal system, so apparently that was all that was needed to create a complete person. Adam ended up missing a chunk of his body, lmao.

[PrairieGirl]

I used to spend entire sermons searching for risque verses ... I'm sure my parents thought I was just being a dedicated little Christian girl. :shifty-kitty:

Hahahaha! I used to HATE it when I had to read the ten commandments out loud during Sunday school. Because one of them had the word 'ass' in it. Meaning a donkey, of course. But I was so embarrassed to say it out loud.