Bisexual in the Church

[RachelB]

Courtesy of Christian Century (and my mom, who sent it to me), here's a sweet essay on sexual identity, sexual practice, and correcting common misunderstandings, written by an out bi Presbyterian pastor:

christiancentury.org/article/2014-06/bisexual-church

Relevant quote:

Sexual attraction is of course a component of my experience as bisexual. But it isn’t somehow more central to my sense of self, or to my interaction with others, than it is for straight people. ... As for me, I prefer the term bi to bisexual because my identity as bi is not just about sex.

My two presbytery colleagues missed this. They also missed the related point that being bisexual doesn’t mean that I’m promiscuous, that it doesn’t by definition make me unfaithful to my husband. Hence their confusion when I assured them that fidelity is central to our wedding vows, and that I had not violated those vows nor had any intention to.

[freedomjesusfootball]

I don't understand how people think that bi = promiscuous. I mean, I am hetero. I am also married to a man. How would a bi woman married to a person of either gender be any more likely to cheat with someone who she finds physically attractive than I would?

[RachelB]

I don't understand how people think that bi = promiscuous. I mean, I am hetero. I am also married to a man. How would a bi woman married to a person of either gender be any more likely to cheat with someone who she finds physically attractive than I would?

I've never understood that assumption, either, yet I've had people make it about me, and I'm glad to see someone countering it. I'm bi, but I'm also monogamous. (Some people are bi and non-monogamous, just as some people are hetero and non-monogamous.)

[uber frau]

In the world of conservative Christianity, platonic relationships between the two genders (there are only two) are seen as unlikely at best. Even something as innocuous as a male and female colleagues working on the same project is seen as dangerous territory. SInce a bisexual person can be attracted to both male and female, nobody's safe.

Secondly, the belief that gay = promiscuous is still about in some places. I think they think gay = stereotypical bath house culture of the late 70s/early 80s.

A bisexual person just can't win. They're not straight so they must be gay and, therefore, promiscuous. If anything, they must be more promiscuous, since they want to hump everyone, not just ppl of one gender.

[nomoxian]

Maybe they think that, because someone likes both men and women (and that's overlooking the fact that there aren't just two sexes let alone genders) that they can't be in a monogamous relationship - and anything other than "till death do we part" is just being a hussy!

Even when I go through times when I'm just with the "opposite" sex I'm still not just with one person. Monogamy works for some people, bi or otherwise, and it doesn't work for others. I think that someones predisposition to wanting to be with one person at a time is as ingrained as ones sexuality or gender identity.