Steve Maxwell's mother passed away May 18

[HoneyBunny]

Dad walked 5-7 miles nearly every day and ate a lot of salmon. I, too, have trouble taking all the advice about prevention seriously. Simply put, we're living longer than past generations did, so it's hard to define hereditary tendencies. Did my dad's parents not have Alzheimer's because they only lived to ages 50 and 62, or might they have been completely lucid at age 80 had diabetes and heart disease not gotten them? The familial link is stronger, I think, with early onset Alzheimer's, and having been through later-onset Alzheimer's now with one parent and two parents-in-law, that's what I'm hanging my hopes on.

It is hellish for loved ones and I only pray it's easier for the actual patient. On this one topic (only!), Stevie gets a pass from me.

[Jana814]

It's a horrible disease. I'm really annoyed that they haven't said anything on the blog about it. Of topic but the actor David Hyde Pierce (from Fraiser) had a father w/ Alzheimer's when he started making a lot of money as an actor one of the first things he did was get a care giver for his father cause up to that point his mother was doing it all & it was hard for her to handle.

[Jana814]

This is very sad. I just can't imagine totally ignoring my mother's or my grandmother's death like that. It's just so pathetic, especially when they go on about what a wonderful mother and grandmother Teri is, and how awesome it is to have a mother and grandmother around. I just....wow...

Agree w/ you. Not that is wish anything bad to happen to Teri's parents but I bet if something happens to one of it will be on the blog before the end of that day.

[WonderingInWA]

Agree w/ you. Not that is wish anything bad to happen to Teri's parents but I bet if something happens to one of it will be on the blog before the end of that day.

Probably, but they've been pretty quiet about Teri's dad's health, even though there have been hints that he's been at death's door for a long time. I think he might have Parkinson's? I might be totally wrong about that, but I know he is fragile and lives one day at a time.

[Jana814]

Probably, but they've been pretty quiet about Teri's dad's health, even though there have been hints that he's been at death's door for a long time. I think he might have Parkinson's? I might be totally wrong about that, but I know he is fragile and lives one day at a time.

I thought Teri's father also had Alzheimer's disease but apparently he has Parkinson's cause Christopher said in the Thanksgiving post about being happy about being around to help him through the disease.

[Justme]

(I know what it is like to care for a person with Alzheimer's.)

Steve could have posted a nice picture of the two of them from better days. With her birth and death dates, and a nice bible verse. (They are so good at finding nice bible verses.)

[Black Aliss]

They've got a LOT of chickens -- why so many? Do you suppose they're going to eat some of them in the end? Ugh, that's so gross to me.

Why? Some of us think factory farmed chicken and eggs are gross. Not chickens that have been able to run around in the grass, scratching for bugs, doing normal chicken things. It's not abut the cost of the eggs, either. I refuse to tally up the cost of my pasture-raised eggs because I know it's several time the cost of factory-farmed eggs. They are tastier and more nutritious, and that's worth something to me.

[twin2]

I'm just finding it hard to believe that Steve passed up an opportunity to talk about death. He talked about death at his son's wedding for Christ's sake!

Not sure why, maybe his siblings warned him against it.

[FloraDoraDolly]

I'm just finding it hard to believe that Steve passed up an opportunity to talk about death. He talked about death at his son's wedding for Christ's sake!

Not sure why, maybe his siblings warned him against it.

Yeah, it's possible that Steve's behavior toward his mother has more to do with his siblings than with her. I can imagine the extended family feeling relieved that Steve isn't around.

[Loveday]

I am torn when it comes to my feelings about Steve's silence on the subject of his mother's illness and death.

I definitely think that nobody should be judged for how they react to that situation. We've had family members who could not bear to go visit someone who was very affected by Alzheimer's or stroke, but who helped financially or were otherwise supportive, if it was their parent.

We've had some who had to insist the affected person still understood everything, while others felt it was their duty to keep repeating how they couldn't possibly (and me in the middle hurting for all of them, since I suspected that arguing their side of the debate was what they needed to comfort themselves).

When my grandmother was sinking down that pit, I lived far away from her, and most of my cousins lived nearby. When my Mom told me that several of them, who adored her, couldn't bear to visit her, I understood and didn't judge them. I had no idea how I would react when I saw her, but some mix of loving grandchild and "person who worked with TBI patients and special-needs students of all kinds" kicked in, and I found myself meeting her where she was, doing the best I could to be good company for her, and not too put off to continue to visit.

Was I superior and more loving? Nah -- just lucky.

However, with Steve, as often happens with the fundies we discuss here, there is another aspect, so I can understand how others are tempted to judge him. He's so fucking self-righteous and superior about all of the things involved here -- keeping family close, facing death, morality, being useful to others, visiting The Elderly[tm][/tm] in nursing homes, faith and how it can support you through hardship, etc., that I can see how it is tempting to disdain him, or at least be puzzled.

And I do think that not mentioning her death at all is just odd. I would think that, with Steve's beliefs, death would be another stage of life to discuss bravely. I can't help thinking that he won't write about it because he really thinks she is burning in Hell, and that would be too painful for him, or let him be seen in too ugly a light, or both.

We've gone through similar circumstances with my grandmother, who passed about six months ago, so I'm one of those who is torn on whether to judge Steve or not. I'm trying not to, but my eyes keep sort of slipping sideways whenever I see the title of this thread and think about how he's said nothing. :?

Oh, and the chicken post was, by leaps and bounds, the most interesting blog entry I have ever read from the Maxwells. :D

YES! :) I kept thinking, these kids and their chickens are absolutely adorable, why doesn't Sarah do a picture book about them? She's already basically written it with this post, all she needs to do is find someone who can do the illustrations!

Sarah--branch out from the Moodys. Go on, you can do it, break away from all that tedious same-old, same-old. I dare you. :dance:

[Justme]

Ya know, the Moody children will have chickens in the next book! :D

[Loveday]

Ya know, the Moody children will have chickens in the next book! :D

Yeah, you're probably right. Because deviating from the Moodys would be...well, just that, deviation, and Sarah's not allowed to deviate. No Maxwell is. :?

[WonderingInWA]

Why? Some of us think factory farmed chicken and eggs are gross. Not chickens that have been able to run around in the grass, scratching for bugs, doing normal chicken things. It's not abut the cost of the eggs, either. I refuse to tally up the cost of my pasture-raised eggs because I know it's several time the cost of factory-farmed eggs. They are tastier and more nutritious, and that's worth something to me.

Uh, because killing chickens is gross to me.

And yes, I'm fully aware of what happens at factory farms.

[twin2]

Ya know, the Moody children will have chickens in the next book! :D

LOL, was just going to post that. The Moody children will defiantly have chickens in the next book!! Hopefully the dog will not eat one of them....

[FJismyheadship]

We've gone through similar circumstances with my grandmother, who passed about six months ago, so I'm one of those who is torn on whether to judge Steve or not. I'm trying not to, but my eyes keep sort of slipping sideways whenever I see the title of this thread and think about how he's said nothing. :?

YES! :) I kept thinking, these kids and their chickens are absolutely adorable, why doesn't Sarah do a picture book about them? She's already basically written it with this post, all she needs to do is find someone who can do the illustrations!

Sarah--branch out from the Moodys. Go on, you can do it, break away from all that tedious same-old, same-old. I dare you. :dance:

I don't remember the code for youtube and I'm on mobile format. If a mod can help me I would appreciate it.

[Jana814]

I still don't understand why they haven't said anything. I understand this is a family matter but still.

[SPHASH]

I still don't understand why they haven't said anything. I understand this is a family matter but still.

I would think Steve would take his mom's passing as an opportunity to preach about death and how she is in hell cuz she wasn't a real Christian. If I ever meet Steven Ray Bargar Maxwell I would tell him whatever faults his parents had they still deserve to be in heaven more than him and his pathetic wife and kids.

[anjulibai]

I had two thoughts about this today:

1) If Steve really didn't think of his mother as a Christian (and he's said he didn't grow up in a Christian home, so he might not think so) than acknowledging her death publicly would be acknowledging that she went to hell. I don't think that would do well for him.

2) If Steve says that his mother is in heaven, then that would be acknowledging that she was Christian and that maybe he did grow up in a Christian home. In which case, he's shown to have lied, which would also not do well for him.

I just don't think this is a matter of not knowing what to say. His biological father died in October, not from Alzheimer's, and he did not acknowledge this. Heck, no one knew he hadn't been born a Maxwell; though considering how much they make of their family name, I think he probably does not want it getting out that he was born a Bargar.

I really think this is about image for him. He can't acknowledge the deaths of his parents because it would mean he might just not be the most perfect son. Parent-child relationships are complicated, but for someone that preaches that children be completely obedient and devoted to their parents, no matter what, and to the point the children never really leaves home, well, his relationships with his parents are a major liability.

[Handmaiden of Dog]

Well Steve does not, should not, be passing judgement on whether his mother went to Heaven or Hell That is up to God to decide and Steve should not be judging others.

My guess is that he doesn't want to acknowledge anyone outside his "perfect family." Steve sees nothing in grey, it is all black and white so any nuances in human behavior are lost on him. How tragic he cannot reminisce about his parents and his childhood because he has deemed them less than perfect. And as I have said before, he is instructing his own children on how to deal with their family if their relationship is not to their liking. Steve may find that he is the one cut-off some day, left in a nursing home to die alone.

[Jana814]

I would think Steve would take his mom's passing as an opportunity to preach about death and how she is in hell cuz she wasn't a real Christian. If I ever meet Steven Ray Bargar Maxwell I would tell him whatever faults his parents had they still deserve to be in heaven more than him and his pathetic wife and kids.

Completely agree w/ u that his parents diserve to be in heaven more then Steve & his family does.

[uber frau]

I'm not sure I'd want to wish Steve's idea of heaven on anyone, except Steve. (And Steve's idea of heaven couldn't exist if there was anyone except Steve up there, so maybe it all pans out in the end :?).

[nokidsmom]

I had two thoughts about this today:

1) If Steve really didn't think of his mother as a Christian (and he's said he didn't grow up in a Christian home, so he might not think so) than acknowledging her death publicly would be acknowledging that she went to hell. I don't think that would do well for him.

2) If Steve says that his mother is in heaven, then that would be acknowledging that she was Christian and that maybe he did grow up in a Christian home. In which case, he's shown to have lied, which would also not do well for him.

I just don't think this is a matter of not knowing what to say. His biological father died in October, not from Alzheimer's, and he did not acknowledge this. Heck, no one knew he hadn't been born a Maxwell; though considering how much they make of their family name, I think he probably does not want it getting out that he was born a Bargar.

I really think this is about image for him. He can't acknowledge the deaths of his parents because it would mean he might just not be the most perfect son. Parent-child relationships are complicated, but for someone that preaches that children be completely obedient and devoted to their parents, no matter what, and to the point the children never really leaves home, well, his relationships with his parents are a major liability.

I hate to say it, but I agree. No doubt having a parent with Alzheimers is hard and everyone deals with it differently, but given that he did acknowledge the death of his dad and mentioned his mom having Alzheimers before, I have to think that he would not have trouble acknowledging these issues by themselves. But it appears he's complicated things by what he's put out there (such as being a first generation Christian) and his own teachings about family when he might not have been a model son even by his own standards. And I do think the extreme life he has chosen for himself and (ugh!) forced on his family, has been problematic as far as relations with his own FOO which stretches the gap between his teachings and reality even more.

[Jana814]

Well Steve does not, should not, be passing judgement on whether his mother went to Heaven or Hell That is up to God to decide and Steve should not be judging others.

My guess is that he doesn't want to acknowledge anyone outside his "perfect family." Steve sees nothing in grey, it is all black and white so any nuances in human behavior are lost on him. How tragic he cannot reminisce about his parents and his childhood because he has deemed them less than perfect. And as I have said before, he is instructing his own children on how to deal with their family if their relationship is not to their liking. Steve may find that he is the one cut-off some day, left in a nursing home to die alone.

Their has been posts about how Steve & Teri did not come from "perfect" homes. That is why they want their family to be "perfect" & think that they r. However, we know they r not.

[SPHASH]

Today is Memorial Day. Perhaps Steve will combine a Memorial Day post with his mother and father who was a WW2 vet.

[Joan of Snarc]

Stevehovah may be a religious fanatical, maniacally overbearing asshole, but if he wants to keep his feelings about his mother's death private, for whatever reason, then I'm happy he's showing some restraint for once. I wish they'd continue to shut up about more topics -- not just this one. Less Maxwell death, SAHM daughter and other propaganda = WIN.

On another note, those chickens look well cared-for. I'm remembering the picture of Zsu's dirty chicken pen around her pool area.... :oops: :o

This is so much nicer to see. And the littler girl -- Bethany? -- is she wearing capris? :o She is so freaking cute.