Steve Maxwell's mother passed away May 18

[thoughtful]

Poor woman -- she had to watch her son turn into a judgmental extremist.

I wonder if Steve lectured his Mom about all of the "idols" in her life:

Some of her many professions include: newsroom proof reader, bookkeeper, assistant kindergarten teacher, writer, home builder, and design draftsman for the Los Alamos National Laboratory in New Mexico. Throughout all this, her main job and interest was painting. She has painted portraits, murals in schools, countless landscapes, and many things dear to her heart. Her paintings can be found around the world.

[anjulibai]

Poor woman -- she had to watch her son turn into a judgmental extremist.

I wonder if Steve lectured his Mom about all of the "idols" in her life:

His biological father Paul also had a lot of hobbies: driving his scooter, stained glass making, wood-working, hunting and marksmanship.

Makes me really wonder what James Maxwell was like.

[MamaJunebug]

Because I had absolutely nothing else to do last night, I tried to duplicate SPHASH's original Google search.

Coincidentally, I found another Steve Maxwell who built a house debtfree, is an incredible artisan, and is married to a Mary Maxwell. With his receding hairline and his happy beard, he even resembles "our" Steve Maxwell a little.

That's where the similarities end, as this one is Canadian, has a genuine smile, and as far as I can tell is nothing else like the other one. But I'm including the link to the piece about him from Mother Earth news, just because it's a really cool house!

motherearthnews.com/green-homes/debt-free-home.aspx?SlideShow=14

[Toothfairy]

Surprised he didn't post about this. Very sad his mom passed away, but maybe Steve had some resent towards her which is why he is so damn crazy. I wonder if they told the kids

[SPHASH]

Surprised he didn't post about this. Very sad his mom passed away, but maybe Steve had some resent towards her which is why he is so damn crazy. I wonder if they told the kids

.

I wonder if Steve even knows. I wonder if there was any estrangement between him and his mother. What I find hilarious is Steve always prided himself on being a first generation Christian, when in reality he was at least a 3rd one. His mother was a Sunday School teacher and his grandmother being a missionary. Wish his "fans" knew about this.

[RosyDaisy]

So sorry the Maxwells lost their matriarch. As far as Steve's family tree. WTH is up with that? Sounds like some inbreeding going on. I can't snark on that. I've got some of that in my own family tree.

[MamaJunebug]

.

I wonder if Steve even knows. I wonder if there was any estrangement between him and his mother. What I find hilarious is Steve always prided himself on being a first generation Christian, when in reality he was at least a 3rd one. His mother was a Sunday School teacher and his grandmother being a missionary. Wish his "fans" knew about this.

"Prided" himself? As in, made his faithfulness an idol? Oh, Stevie....

So, is Steve lying? :liar: Whew, if so. Shades of Geoffrey Botkin's Marxist Christless childhood!!! (In fact, IIRC it's been reported on good authority that Botkin's parents were Christian church-goers; and when pressed, again IIRC he said his enrollment in public schools was his exposure to Marxism.)

That said, I've never understood why folks would follow a first-generation anything. Wouldn't it be more reassuring to join up with someone who's in an historic church/faith group where mistakes have been made and corrected thruout the years?

At least Steve's followers appear to be confined to a small group of local old folks who get comfort from the music (!!) and don't mind the preaching, join in on prayers. At least I hope that's all the influence he's got.

And I hope he and his wife and descendants attend Mrs. Mary's services. It was his mother, for goodness sake.

[WonderingInWA]

I'm not surprised he hasn't blogged about it. He may just not quite know what to say.

My mother has Alzheimers and lives in a memory care facility just a few miles from my home. I spend $8K/month for her care, but I don't visit because I just can't. Everyone is affected by Alzheimers differently and we do what we can without breaking ourselves. It's hard to explain if you haven't been there.

And as much as Steve is a complete dick about most things, I'm giving him a pass for taking time to make this a private reflection. There's a reason he didn't visit her (or talk about if it he did), too.

[Jana814]

I'm not surprised he hasn't blogged about it. He may just not quite know what to say.

My mother has Alzheimers and lives in a memory care facility just a few miles from my home. I spend $8K/month for her care, but I don't visit because I just can't. Everyone is affected by Alzheimers differently and we do what we can without breaking ourselves. It's hard to explain if you haven't been there.

And as much as Steve is a complete dick about most things, I'm giving him a pass for taking time to make this a private reflection. There's a reason he didn't visit her (or talk about if it he did), too.

So very sorry about your mother!! Alzheimer's is a horrible disease. I don't fault u at all.

[WonderingInWA]

So very sorry about your mother!! Alzheimer's is a horrible disease. I don't fault u at all.

Thank you. Most people don't understand. My own sister insists the more we visit, the more we can "fix" mom. It doesn't work that way. There is no fix. It's a cruel disease and often a mirror of who you will be in 20 years. So, there's a fear factor there no matter how many family Bible times you have every day. ;)

[Jana814]

Thank you. Most people don't understand. My own sister insists the more we visit, the more we can "fix" mom. It doesn't work that way. There is no fix. It's a cruel disease and often a mirror of who you will be in 20 years. So, there's a fear factor there no matter how many family Bible times you have every day. ;)

Good point. Nursing Homes make me soo uncomfortable!! That's one of my big issues about the Maxwell's church. The kids r being exposed to soo many germs, I wonder if Steve & the kids will mourn their mother/grandmother they way they mourned some of the residents of the home they do church in.

[treemom]

Good point. Nursing Homes make me soo uncomfortable!! That's one of my big issues about the Maxwell's church. The kids r being exposed to soo many germs, I wonder if Steve & the kids will mourn their mother/grandmother they way they mourned some of the residents of the home they do church in.

Actually it is one of my big issues the other way. The kids are quite likely putting their beloved "elderly" at risk. I am sure they aren't vaccinated, while they are isolated we know Melanie sees her family so the older girls could totally be spreading around illnesses at the nursing home.

[FloraDoraDolly]

It is also worth mentioning that in a normal family, Steve's adult children would be able to choose whether or not to attend their grandmother's funeral. But in the Maxwell family, I don't see that happening. Perhaps Nathan and Christopher would be able to go on their own, but not the "children" who live at home. I hope I'm wrong.

[Jana814]

It is also worth mentioning that in a normal family, Steve's adult children would be able to choose whether or not to attend their grandmother's funeral. But in the Maxwell family, I don't see that happening. Perhaps Nathan and Christopher would be able to go on their own, but not the "children" who live at home. I hope I'm wrong.

Good point. They r all under Steve's control.

[SPHASH]

Well Sarah has a new post up, you'll won't believe what it's about. I'll give ya a hint, it's not about Grandma Mary.

[WonderingInWA]

Well Sarah has a new post up, you'll won't believe what it's about. I'll give ya a hint, it's not about Grandma Mary.

They've got a LOT of chickens -- why so many? Do you suppose they're going to eat some of them in the end? Ugh, that's so gross to me.

[lilith]

They are probably providing eggs to the whole extended Maxwell clan

[SPHASH]

They've got a LOT of chickens -- why so many? Do you suppose they're going to eat some of them in the end? Ugh, that's so gross to me.

Once the chickens no longer lay eggs then they probably will. I guess they are selling the eggs. Are they that hard up for money? Guess they never will mention Grandma Mary's passing.

[SPHASH]

They are probably providing eggs to the whole extended Maxwell clan

You mean Bargar. I think I will start calling Steve Bargar now.

[anjulibai]

This is very sad. I just can't imagine totally ignoring my mother's or my grandmother's death like that. It's just so pathetic, especially when they go on about what a wonderful mother and grandmother Teri is, and how awesome it is to have a mother and grandmother around. I just....wow...

[HoneyBunny]

I'm not surprised he hasn't blogged about it. He may just not quite know what to say.

My mother has Alzheimers and lives in a memory care facility just a few miles from my home. I spend $8K/month for her care, but I don't visit because I just can't. Everyone is affected by Alzheimers differently and we do what we can without breaking ourselves. It's hard to explain if you haven't been there.

And as much as Steve is a complete dick about most things, I'm giving him a pass for taking time to make this a private reflection. There's a reason he didn't visit her (or talk about if it he did), too.

I could not agree more, and I've said as such on FJ before only to have several jump down my throat about it. Until you've been through it yourself, you have no idea how hard it is or how you'll react. And if you've been personally touched by it (my dad asking me if my parents lived nearby was a life-defining moment for me) you'd never pass judgment on how someone else handles it.

The last time I saw my dad, I had to not only give him his pills and tell him to take them, but show him with gestures what I meant by that. I thank God every night that there are people who choose to care for dementia patients as a career because it is highly emotive for family to do so.

And, just as an aside, I can strongly recommend never saying to someone whose parent/spouse has just died from Alzheimer's that it was really for the best. Because that cuts like a knife. It's okay to want to take that feeling on for yourself, because often it is for the best, but to have someone else suggest it I found too painful to bear.

[WonderingInWA]

I could not agree more, and I've said as such on FJ before only to have several jump down my throat about it. Until you've been through it yourself, you have no idea how hard it is or how you'll react. And if you've been personally touched by it (my dad asking me if my parents lived nearby was a life-defining moment for me) you'd never pass judgment on how someone else handles it.

The last time I saw my dad, I had to not only give him his pills and tell him to take them, but show him with gestures what I meant by that. I thank God every night that there are people who choose to care for dementia patients as a career because it is highly emotive for family to do so.

And, just as an aside, I can strongly recommend never saying to someone whose parent/spouse has just died from Alzheimer's that it was really for the best. Because that cuts like a knife. It's okay to want to take that feeling on for yourself, because often it is for the best, but to have someone else suggest it I found too painful to bear.

YES on all accounts. I miss my mom terribly, and she's still living, but she's not in there anywhere. When I was clearing out her house, I found all sort of notes she'd written to her imaginary friends, her "roommates" who kept eating all the food in her fridge and never replaced it, who never changed the water filter, etc. etc. She'd make coffee for her mother who had been dead for 17 years and then wonder why it was still sitting there hours later ("oh, I guess mom didn't want her coffee"). I tried to care for my mom in my home for about a month and it was the hardest thing I've ever done (and the most scarring for me). It's worth every penny I pay to have someone else care for her so I can have my memories of my mom who she was.

And I look in the mirror every day and know it's going to happen to me next. And that MY kids will be afraid of me and afraid to visit. It is so so sad and awful and cruel in every way.

[thoughtful]

I am torn when it comes to my feelings about Steve's silence on the subject of his mother's illness and death.

I definitely think that nobody should be judged for how they react to that situation. We've had family members who could not bear to go visit someone who was very affected by Alzheimer's or stroke, but who helped financially or were otherwise supportive, if it was their parent.

We've had some who had to insist the affected person still understood everything, while others felt it was their duty to keep repeating how they couldn't possibly (and me in the middle hurting for all of them, since I suspected that arguing their side of the debate was what they needed to comfort themselves).

When my grandmother was sinking down that pit, I lived far away from her, and most of my cousins lived nearby. When my Mom told me that several of them, who adored her, couldn't bear to visit her, I understood and didn't judge them. I had no idea how I would react when I saw her, but some mix of loving grandchild and "person who worked with TBI patients and special-needs students of all kinds" kicked in, and I found myself meeting her where she was, doing the best I could to be good company for her, and not too put off to continue to visit.

Was I superior and more loving? Nah -- just lucky.

However, with Steve, as often happens with the fundies we discuss here, there is another aspect, so I can understand how others are tempted to judge him. He's so fucking self-righteous and superior about all of the things involved here -- keeping family close, facing death, morality, being useful to others, visiting The Elderly[tm][/tm] in nursing homes, faith and how it can support you through hardship, etc., that I can see how it is tempting to disdain him, or at least be puzzled.

And I do think that not mentioning her death at all is just odd. I would think that, with Steve's beliefs, death would be another stage of life to discuss bravely. I can't help thinking that he won't write about it because he really thinks she is burning in Hell, and that would be too painful for him, or let him be seen in too ugly a light, or both.

Oh, and the chicken post was, by leaps and bounds, the most interesting blog entry I have ever read from the Maxwells. :D

[Trynn]

Same, I'm terrified of getting Alzheimer's and dementi, both of which run in my family.

And don't tell me to just keep learning and ill be fine because that's BULLSHIT.

[WonderingInWA]

Same, I'm terrified of getting Alzheimer's and dementi, both of which run in my family.

And don't tell me to just keep learning and ill be fine because that's BULLSHIT.

Yep, there is so much "helpful" advice out there. But there is a genetic component to it and I've got a 50/50 chance. You don't avoid it by doing crossword puzzles and eating blueberries.