Revisiting the Chapman's Wedding

[geeklove]

Mom sounds like an awesome person, abandoning her children with a man with major health problems. Not to mention the control issues. I wonder how she feels about how it all worked out.

I wonder if that was the last straw? Daddy dearest seems like a nightmare-maybe she couldn't bear the thought of having him demand even more from her. Don't get me wrong-it is reprehensible for her to abandon her children; I just don't blame her for leaving him, though.

[EmiGirl]

I wonder if that was the last straw? Daddy dearest seems like a nightmare-maybe she couldn't bear the thought of having him demand even more from her. Don't get me wrong-it is reprehensible for her to abandon her children; I just don't blame her for leaving him, though.

A part of me wants to know the rest of the story about the mother leaving. This is just what the dad has passed down to the daughter. There's no telling what all went on in that home.

[scc12]

Re: waiting in a wedding dress.It sounds like they used some revised jewish customs,in that the bride waits for her groom,not knowing 'when he cometh'.As in,'no man knows the day or hour,only the father (her father would know when he is coming)'.

it's also from the parable of the 10 virgins (thus why she is waiting in her white wedding gown),waiting for the groom to arrive and take her away to the place he has prepared for her.

I'm by no means saying the whole thing wasn't whacked!

[Peas n carrots]

Jigsaw of fundie dads...I couldn't have describes Stan better myself!

[salex]

A part of me wants to know the rest of the story about the mother leaving. This is just what the dad has passed down to the daughter. There's no telling what all went on in that home.

I was thinking the same thing. Dad clearly didn't die so who knows if he was as sick as he told his daughter, and who knows what ensued that made mom flee--if she did. Depending on where they lived and who the judges were, there may just have been a divorce and he got full custody. (An online aquaintance lost custody of her kids to a ultra religious father in an ultra religious county-- she sees them, but was deemed not holy enough to raise them) If the daughter never saw her mother again, who knows what might really have happened to her (institutionalized, abused and afraid, murdered.... )

[Talitha Cumi]

These laws are so antiquated and need updating badly. MA law technically allows girls to marry at 12 with both parental and judicial consent. You will be relieved to know that no halfway competent MA Judge would give consent to a girl marrying at 12 because it would be in conflict with the Child Abuse Statute. I don't know why they don't just fix it.:cray-cray:

I think the most disturbing is California, which has no minimum age requirement, and only needs judicial approval OR parental consent. Theoretically you could marry off a prepubescent child with only parental consent. I assume social services would get involved at that point, though, once the parents applied for the marriage license.

[salex]

I think the most disturbing is California, which has no minimum age requirement, and only needs judicial approval OR parental consent. Theoretically you could marry off a prepubescent child with only parental consent. I assume social services would get involved at that point, though, once the parents applied for the marriage license.

Assuming they apply for a marriage license. As I recall, a lot of these people don't like government involvement in marriage.

[RosyDaisy]

What the actual fuck? Husband and father are both perverts and throwing religion in to make it look better.

[ILoveJellybeans]

I think the most disturbing is California, which has no minimum age requirement, and only needs judicial approval OR parental consent. Theoretically you could marry off a prepubescent child with only parental consent. I assume social services would get involved at that point, though, once the parents applied for the marriage license.

Sooooooo if two six year olds wanted to get married, they could as long as their parents approved?

[salex]

Sooooooo if two six year olds wanted to get married, they could as long as their parents approved?

Better two 6 year olds than a 6 year old and a 40 year old....

[Palimpsest]

Better two 6 year olds than a 6 year old and a 40 year old....

Anyway, we are not talking marriage here on the Chapman thread.

Please, it is transfer of authority!!!!!1111eleventy!!!!1111

[Coconut Flan]

Cali requires permission from a parent or guardian AND from the courts for underage (under 18) marriage. I don't the six year olds will slip through. They've denied 17 year old marriages.

[Full enough quiver]

I think Arkansas has no minimum age. My grandmother was married at 13 to a 30 year old, aunt got married at 14 to a 25 year old, mom at 16 to a 26 year old, cousin at 16 to a 36 year old. All they needed was a signature from their parents. Grandma was married 60 years, but he was a pervert who molested every girl in the family, mom is still happily married (33 years last month) cousin was married ten years (now divorced, fairly amicable) aunt was happily married 30 years, now widowed, so kind of a mixed bag as far as results go.

[Talitha Cumi]

Cali requires permission from a parent or guardian AND from the courts for underage (under 18) marriage. I don't the six year olds will slip through. They've denied 17 year old marriages.

I was going by the Wikipedia article, which said or. Maybe they're mistaken. Like I always tell my students, Wikipedia isn't necessarily a reliable source! :lol:

[Coconut Flan]

I think Wiki is wrong. I went to the official state website. It also says that meeting with a counselor is mandatory for underage weddings.

[artdecades]

This whole thing is so bizarre. Its like the father had this weird fixation on having things a certain way (a story from the bible I guess), and orchestrated this whole thing with his child. There is definitely some weird control issues there.

[thoughtful]

That sitting around in the wedding dress story always makes me think "Miss Havisham -- the (really, really) early years."

[fundiefan]

There was not a single mention of Maranatha's mother in that whole longwinded story. Was she dead before the betrothal nightmare, or does she just not matter?

This may have been covered because I didn't read all the following comments but by reading their Facebook pages and old blog posts, it appears her mother was out of the picture. When that happened I didn't really figure out but it seems her step mother met her father when Marantha was about a pre-teen or so. Marantha said something about not having a relationship with her mother for a long time but now they have found some common ground - or something like that.

If you look at her Facebook friends and find her siblings it's a total and complete mind fuck. These people pretend to live perfect, beautiful lives, like most fundies, while the lives they really live are ugly and dark and all kinds of fucked up.

[DGayle]

The age of marriage should be adulthood, no exceptions. If preggo or horny daughter wants to get married to boytoy, and are "meant to be," then waiting until legal adulthood won't ruin that.

[geeklove]

I have always believed you shouldn't get married if you can't legally drink at your own wedding. And if my father tried to marry me off to this winner, I would definitely need a drink. Probably several. Possibly a barrel of whiskey followed by a keg of beer chaser.

[lizziesmom]

I think Arkansas has no minimum age. My grandmother was married at 13 to a 30 year old, aunt got married at 14 to a 25 year old, mom at 16 to a 26 year old, cousin at 16 to a 36 year old. All they needed was a signature from their parents. Grandma was married 60 years, but he was a pervert who molested every girl in the family, mom is still happily married (33 years last month) cousin was married ten years (now divorced, fairly amicable) aunt was happily married 30 years, now widowed, so kind of a mixed bag as far as results go.

Here is a link to state by state minimum legal age marriage laws: http://marriage.about.com/cs/teenmarriage/a/teenus.htm

Quoting as to Arkansas:

Parental consent is needed if under eighteen (18) years of age. You need to present a state certified copy of your birth certificate, an active Military ID card, or a valid passport. Your parent must be present to sign the marriage book with the applicants when the license is issued. If a parent is unable to sign, due to death, separation, divorce or other circumstances, you must produce certified papers for verification of those circumstances. Males under the age of seventeen (17) and females under (16) cannot marry without a court order. This is usually given only in extreme circumstances, such as if the female teen is pregnant or the teenage couple already has a child together.

[chaotic life]

Some adult man approaching 30 informed me he had feelings for my 13 year old and I would NOT be planning a mindfuck wedding. Maranatha's courtship gets ickier and more bizarre everytime I revist it to think about it.

Some grown man set his sights for my 13 year old girl and I would 1. set the older brothers loose (and yes, you can read that like the hounds cause he would wish it was hounds and not the pack of protective older brothers in this house) , 2. go buy a shotgun, and 3. call the COPS.

I think mine is the more appropriate parental reaction of the two.

Lauren is 22 and has a blog as if she is a wife and mothering expert now. The child hasn't grown UP yet to be an expert on anything, and mainly that's because she was required to be a wife and mother before she had a chance to actually BE a child in the first place. Clearly, the Chapman's learned something from their own clusterfuck because she references knowing her husband a 'long time' but conceals how long he was creeping around before they got married when she was sixteen. She may have very likely been as young as her mother from the get-go. Good goddess what a way to reframe child predators as something socially acceptable.

[Duggarlicious]

I believe I read somewhere that the marriage age rules have changed in Texas since the Chapman wedding - from 15 to 16.

[Howl]

It seems one of the daughters, Lauren did. She was sixteen when she got married. Her blog is surprisingly well-written and thoughtful.

I just went to Lauren's blog. She is a long distance runner. She has (only) two kids, but I don't know how long she has been married. She doesn't seem like the frumper type, if her banner photo is any indication.

[Howl]

On 3/21/2015 at 0:36 PM, Howl said:

I just went to Lauren's blog. She is a long distance runner. She has (only) two kids, but I don't know how long she has been married. She doesn't seem like the frumper type, if her banner photo is any indication.

That is very interesting.  Do you have a blog link?