Better murdered than lose virginity through rape.

[Lillybee]

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/unfundamen ... -a-virgin/

There are no words to convey my disgust at this.

[bekkah]

This to me is disgusting but has truth to it. I believe that our society puts such a high value on the idea of virginity that a lot of women struggle with the violence that just happened to them. I believe that this had an huge effect when violence happened to me and it lead me to retreat instead of seeking help. I was not 16 but 22 at the time and I had a hard time coping. I think churches need to start being vocal about violence to women and helping them instead of hurting them.

[doggie]

I thought this was a FLDS thing where if a woman does not fight and die in the rape she is a bad person?

[Arete]

I don't know a single mainline denomination where that pastor's reaction would fly. I suspect this is a PP type church-you think your a "pastor", open your own church, and you are in business. No education, no accountability to your laity or a hierarchy, nothing. Intellectually and morally underdeveloped people deciding they have a "calling".

[debrand]

At one time, rape was called 'a fate worse than death." I hoped that we had gotten past that sentiment.

[ADoyle90815]

I thought this was a FLDS thing where if a woman does not fight and die in the rape she is a bad person?

It does sound like something the FLDS would teach, but Spencer Kimball who was a former president or prophet of the mainstream LDS church wrote a book "Miracle of Forgiveness" where a woman who doesn't fight and die is at fault for allowing herself to be raped. There might be some rogue bishops who still shame rape victims who come to them for help, but I don't think that's a common thing these days.

[lilith]

The mainstream LDS made a point of declaring Elizabeth Smart "whole and pure before God", which implies that some rape victims aren't considered whole and pure.

[Dysfundamental]

St. Maria Goretti was sainted by the Roman Catholic Church for this, so it's definitely a thread in mainstream denominations as well.

[Stephanie66]

The mainstream LDS made a point of declaring Elizabeth Smart "whole and pure before God", which implies that some rape victims aren't considered whole and pure.

:pink-shock:

Well, that's a way to guarantee that if a woman is raped, she will not prosecute. Men just get away with it.

[Trynn]

I think I'd rather die than be raped, but that's just cuz I don't want to have to deal with the trauma. I'm already not finding good help for my depression, add trauma to that and I'm toast.

[Arete]

The mainstream LDS made a point of declaring Elizabeth Smart "whole and pure before God", which implies that some rape victims aren't considered whole and pure.

I had a different interpretation. Mine was that if you had consensual sex outside marriage for the...gasp...pleasure of it, that you were not whole and pure, but if you were raped you were.

[Mama Mia]

I had a different interpretation. Mine was that if you had consensual sex outside marriage for the...gasp...pleasure of it, that you were not whole and pure, but if you were raped you were.

That's how I took this as well. Since the LDS are very against pre- and extra marital sex, I thought it was a good thing that they pointed out that rape does not equal sex.

[lilith]

That's how I took this as well. Since the LDS are very against pre- and extra marital sex, I thought it was a good thing that they pointed out that rape does not equal sex.

Except they didn't. They said that her very specific circumstances made her eligible to be declared pure, not that all rape victims are automatically pure in the eyes of God and the church, but that a victim of a highly publicised and horrific crime, who, along with her parents, was a member in good standing of the LDS church, could be considered so.

[Hane]

At one time, rape was called 'a fate worse than death." I hoped that we had gotten past that sentiment.

It's worse than that: in Victorian times, "a fate worse than death" meant losing your virginity to a man who dumped you.

[Handmaiden of Dog]

I was raped when I was four and a half. I'm really glad that I was not murdered because I have enjoyed my life.

When people go on and on about how precious virginity is I can't help but reflect that either God fell down on the job or else he wanted me to live my life as a dirty used kleenex. Which is it? Am I less precious, less womanly, less valuable? Thankfully I never lived life in the fundie world so my virginity was never that important to me.

[Daenerys]

I wouldn't be the person I am today, with all the joy I get to experience, without the things that have happened to me. I wish they hadn't, but accept that they have and it doesn't make me any less of a person in the eyes of God.

[Talitha Cumi]

Except they didn't. They said that her very specific circumstances made her eligible to be declared pure, not that all rape victims are automatically pure in the eyes of God and the church, but that a victim of a highly publicised and horrific crime, who, along with her parents, was a member in good standing of the LDS church, could be considered so.

:angry-cussingblack: :angry-steamingears:

[Talitha Cumi]

I was raped when I was four and a half. I'm really glad that I was not murdered because I have enjoyed my life.

When people go on and on about how precious virginity is I can't help but reflect that either God fell down on the job or else he wanted me to live my life as a dirty used kleenex. Which is it? Am I less precious, less womanly, less valuable? Thankfully I never lived life in the fundie world so my virginity was never that important to me.

Oh shit. I'm so, so sorry.

[Full enough quiver]

I was raped when I was ten. I believe that society's obsession with virginity caused as much damage as the rape itself. I felt like since I was damaged goods already, why bother to protect myself. My disregard for my own personal safety led to a second rape at fourteen. They say many victims (I think something like 80%) go on to be victimized again. I wonder if it's like what happened to me, where your self worth is so low that you end up putting yourself in harm's way. (I'm not saying that rape is ever the victims fault, just going off my experience and the experiences of others I have known.)