Proposal after a 7 day courtship

[laura oz]

I met Mr Oz June 18 and the electricity was there. I left my home state, where I had thought I'd always live, and moved in with him the 20th. We've only been apart when he had to travel for business, and have 2 kids and a happy life together. Everybody thought I was insane, but, when you know, you know.

[RandomTrivia]

Does that mean there were Precious Moments figurines involved in their first date?

Oh wait, I guess it could also mean they didn't break up immediately after his proposal...

Either way, interesting...

It's been a while, but yeah, pretty sure he dated both fiancees for a while post-proposal. As I recall, one was throwing the PM figurines at him during/because of the break-up, and I think the other break-up may have led to a scar (steak knife, maybe? I don't remember). Much drama ensued both times, as I heard it - or at least that was his version of the story, probably embellished for my benefit. And no, it wasn't Nathan Maxwell. :lol: Just a perpetual art student with financial issues, and I got the feeling he had some problems with the fact that he was adopted.

(Not that I'm, you know, bitter or anything, just because he dumped me out of the blue because he "needed some time alone" after dating so much since high school, only to show up at my sort-of-birthday-party with a new girlfriend a few weeks later. And I actually fell for the "we can still be friends" bullshit. But that's a whole other rant.)

[JulieK]

I understand that people are protective of their fiance, but please hear me out. If this is his view, what will happen if you become sick and unable to work after the wedding or pregnant and was placed on bed rest? Or, if you have kids and found it is cheaper for you to stay home then to work?

Not choosing deliberately to be the sole support of another adult (and eventually perhaps children) does not mean a partner won't be there for you should something awful happens (sick, unemployed, etc.). Would you be implying that a woman who didn't want to marry an unemployed man was a bad uncaring person likely to toss him off a precipice the minute he gets a head cold?

And unlike (sometimes) an illness, in this great age and in the this great country, children can actually be planned for and don't, in fact, fall from the sky. Considering that, and barring fairly rare happenings such as natural triplets and a few other circumstances I can think of, it's unlikely that it would be "cheaper" for a employable person to stay home rather than to work.

[sunshine]

Not choosing deliberately to be the sole support of another adult (and eventually perhaps children) does not mean a partner won't be there for you should something awful happens (sick, unemployed, etc.). Would you be implying that a woman who didn't want to marry an unemployed man was a bad uncaring person likely to toss him off a precipice the minute he gets a head cold?

And unlike (sometimes) an illness, in this great age and in the this great country, children can actually be planned for and don't, in fact, fall from the sky. Considering that, and barring fairly rare happenings such as natural triplets and a few other circumstances I can think of, it's unlikely that it would be "cheaper" for a employable person to stay home rather than to work.

Actually, it may be for some who make below $50,000 a year or depending where they work, but child care is very expensive. So, when I am referring to cheaper, I am referring to the child care aspect. (It was implied.) It maybe better for the couple to have one person stay at home instead of paying child care. If they chose the latter, it will mean both parents will be away from the child or childern longer in order to pay for the crazy expensive child care. In addition, young childern tend to copy people they are around often, which is how they get their identity; so they will copy behaviors from other people.

A man purpose is to provide for his wife and child. Her status of unemployment should not be a reason for not marrying her. Of course, that is my opinion.

[polecat]

Actually, it may be for some who make below $50,000 a year or depending where they work, but child care is very expensive. So, when I am referring to cheaper, I am referring to the child care aspect. (It was implied.) It maybe better for the couple to have one person stay at home instead of paying child care. If they chose the latter, it will mean both parents will be away from the child or childern longer in order to pay for the crazy expensive child care. In addition, young childern tend to copy people they are around often, which is how they get their identity; so they will copy behaviors from other people.

A man purpose is to provide for his wife and child. Her status of unemployment should not be a reason for not marrying her. Of course, that is my opinion.

I don't think he's using it as a reason to not marry her. It sounded more like a joint decision:

The main reason we haven't set a date is that I was laid off, and we both think it would be best to wait until I get a job first. He would rather have a wife that helps with the finances than some Stepford wife.

That said, I don't agree that an at-home mom is a Stepford wife. I think couples need to decide what's best for themselves, whether that involves both working or one staying at home. As to your last sentence -- that's one reason people should choose their child care carefully.

[JulieK]

Actually, it may be for some who make below $50,000 a year or depending where they work, but child care is very expensive. So, when I am referring to cheaper, I am referring to the child care aspect. (It was implied.) It maybe better for the couple to have one person stay at home instead of paying child care. If they chose the latter, it will mean both parents will be away from the child or childern longer in order to pay for the crazy expensive child care. In addition, young childern tend to copy people they are around often, which is how they get their identity; so they will copy behaviors from other people.

A man purpose is to provide for his wife and child. Her status of unemployment should not be a reason for not marrying her. Of course, that is my opinion.

Oh brother. :doh:

[Peas n carrots]

Both people are in their 30's, and I tend to think by this point in life you generally have an idea of what you want in another person and are less likely to put up with bullshit. So if they feel they are right for each other, than I say why not.

BUT...since there are 6 children involved, I think they are being selfish. Those kids need time to get to know who their mom/dad is dating, and get to know the other kids. The reality of blending families is going to hit these two love birds like a ton of bricks. It might not make this romance seem so great.

That being said, I think DH and I were an "item" less than 6 months before he proposed and I knew he was going to propose a few months before he did. He said he just "knew" and perhaps I was threw caution to the wind and said "what the hell why not." I'm still pretty darn happy with the decision...it's been a lot of hard work, but I couldn't ask for a better partner. :)