Raising a rainbow child

[jenny_islander]

Full agreement with OkToBeTakei, JesusFightClub and polecat from me also.

Let kids do what they want, wear what they want, but no need to obsess over categories. So much of this feels like "if my kid strays too far from the box, he must belong in the other box! Let me tell the world how tolerant I am about that!"

Let's just get rid of the boxes instead.

PREACH IT.

My 3-year-old son left the house yesterday in a black sweatshirt, gold bead Mardi Gras necklace, khaki shorts held up with a purple belt that had little heart cutouts in it, toe socks striped like packs of Lifesavers, and yellow rain boots. He thought he looked AWESOME. :dance: He is also very careful to assert his boyness in the face of the girlness of his big sisters. As far as he was concerned, everything he had on yesterday was a boy thing--because he gets to define what that means.

[FJismyheadship]

Last week, my daughters favorite toy was a stuffed Hello Kitty Halloween that she nicked off the shelf at Cracker Barrel and spit up on when I wasn't looking. This week, its a blue toy police car that sings when you push the button on top that belonged to my 8 year old brother when he was a baby. She doesn't care, she is just a baby. She also hates bows and headbands and hats with a passion.... so even when she is decked out in all pink, she is often mistaken for a boy.

Then again, I typically go for gender neutral toys or opt for "boys" because its more colorful than the "girl" toys. I also let her pick her clothes by holding her up in the closet, and whatever she grabs is what she gets to wear (unless its 100 degrees and she grabs something heavy and long sleeved)

The fundies would hate me.

[JesusFightClub]

WTH is so horrible about periods?

I have talked to a few blokes about this and it seems (if it's not explained properly) they kind of think the woman pees blood. So no matter where you are and what you are doing, you are peeing blood. And they know about cramps but don't have a comparison so they think it's like being kicked in the balls. Repeatedly.

That's younger guys and gay men usually, who haven't yet or won't ever have the experience of getting up close and personal with a laydee at that time of the month. They do not know what it involves, except it sounds horrible. I do not blame them for being scared :)

[FJismyheadship]

I remember some interview with David Boreanez, and he had some burrito that gave him major gas... like he was doubled over in pain from it. He called it Man Cramps and after experiencing that, he was more sympathetic to all females. He figured he had a taste of what we all go through and he wouldn't wish that on anyone.

[JMarie]

Maybe C.J's brother doesn't wish for his name to be used. But yeah, I noticed that, too.

Ayelette Waldman used to write for Salon. She quit after she was attacked after writing that she believed her young son was gay, and how cool it would be to have a gay son. Granted, her son was pretty young at the time (so maybe, maybe not) and writing that in public is probably not the best idea, but still. I honestly never cared if my kids were gay or not. Hopefully, more families will begin to think this way.

When my daughter came out, I was just so happy she was born into my family, as they will love her and accept her no matter her sexual preference. It would break my heart if she had been born into some fundamentalist Christian family who wouldn't accept her.

Waldman also got a whole lotta grief for saying she loved her husband more than her kids.

http://content.time.com/time/arts/artic ... 48,00.html

[keen23]

I believe she says he isn't transgender, he's "gender creative" .

She just comes across extremely fame whorish to me. Very similar to the mom of the kid who had the school bathroom lawsuit. The focus doesn't seem to be on the kid, but on how extra super special tolerant and supportive the parent is of the kids non-conforming gender identity......even though the parent seems to be putting far greater emphasis on "boy" and "girl" preferences/clothing/toys for very young children than most people.

The bathroom lawsuit was Coy Mathis. Her Mom is a special sparkling creature in her own right. The Mom had an unassisted TRIPLET homebirth. I'm trying to find that blog, but it might have been scrubbed off the internets because there were complications- as one probably would have expected.

[Mama Mia]

It kind of seems like Coy and C.j.s mothers are pushing them to be transgender or gender creative in order to get attention for themselves. From choosing a pink blanket at 6 months meaning a boy prefers girl things, to 6 year old C. J. s mother s saying how she has had to be explaining his girly preferences for years......who else would think a baby grabbing a particular blanket, or a three year old liking sparkly things, states anything at all about their gender ? I don't think even most fundies would go that far.

[Jenny]

I read this whole blog last night. The post about CJ's brother coming out as straight, it felt like she was disappointed. I just read the post comments and a couple people mentioned the awkward feeling of the post too.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Yeah, I agree, it did seem like she was dissapointed that her child was straight, which is a shame. If you are truly open minded about your children's sexual orientation and gender identity, it wouldnt matter. They should be equally happy whether their child likes boys, girls, both, neither or all possible genders. They should be equally happy whether they have a cisgender or transgender child, or whether their boy likes playing with trucks and their girl likes dolls, or their boy likes dolls and girl likes trucks. Being open minded about your child's future gender and sexuality doesnt mean hoping they are gay or transgender, or gender nonconforming or something less common like that, it means leaving all options open and loving the child you get nomatter what they are like.

Both their stereotypically masculine, straight son and their more feminine son who loves dolls and pink are both two different variations on normal that she should be equally happy with.

[DarkAnts]

It seems like this moms entire identity is wrapped around being a mom to "rainbow children". In one post it almost seemed like her older child was afraid to tell her that he was strait. I dont know if she believes that he is strait. In a sad way, it seems like she is trying to justify her existence as a mom by saying that she has special "rainbow children."

[Feberin]

I hate that kids are frequently defined by gender roles. My husband's grandmother called today to ask about Christmas gifts for the kids. I suggested cars for my daughter and she literally gasped and asked why in the world would she like cars. I just gave her some other suggestions since I really don't think why my daughter likes cars needs an explanation. They have wheels and are fun to push around.

So I definitely wish people would be more accepting of children especially boys not fitting gender stereotypes. However I feel like this mother is the opposite. Like she would be upset if her son did like boy things. I hope CJ doesn't end up being straight too. I don't think she could handle it since he's her rainbow child and all.

[karupin]

Teaching preschool has exposed me a variety of children (and parents, too!) I have a boy right now who proudly showed me the new water bottle he picked out last week. It's decorated with Miffy (a bunny character popular with girls). He frequently wears his sister's hand-me-down shirts and, for a long time, loved pink. His parents aren't pushing him to like more typical boy stuff (he loves cars and Legos, too), nor are they holding him up as a glowing example of their tolerance.

Meanwhile, I have other parents who really encourage the girly-princess type daughters, to the point where one girl declared she didn't like the novelization of Toy Story that I read to them as it was a 'boys' book'. I'd much rather have the former as parents-they just let their child be a child, not conform to any sort of standard, gendered or otherwise.

[miffy]

I wonder how she would react if he suddenly decided he wanted to wear cargo shorts & watch Transformers every weekend?

This kind of thing is best left until a person is able to make their mind up about things, IE a teenager.

[alcharisi]

While I agree in general that we should not subscribe to rigid gender roles, especially for kids, the way this thread is currently expressing that sentiment makes me very nervous, for the following reason: it elides the reality that genuinely trans* kids exist. For these children, being properly gendered at their request and having access first to puberty blockers and then to hormone therapy is hugely important. And when we try to explain *all* gender non-conforming children under the rubric that 1. gender roles are constructed (IMO, true!), 2. that we shouldn't rigidly box people in (also true!), and that therefore 3. gender dysphoria in children is a consequence of failing to recognize 1 & 2 (not true!), we contribute to a system in which it's incredibly difficult for trans youth to get the medical treatment they require.

Because honestly? There is a big difference between the statements, "I WISH I were [x gender]" and "I AM [x gender.]" When I was a kid, I played with both dolls and tractors, and at various points, said that I wished I were a boy--because I was able to perceive male privilege, even in my 8-year-old way, and I wanted a piece of it. I'm in a same-sex relationship, I dress in a way that is somewhat androgynous, and I resist vociferously the notion that any given activity or way of thinking or relating to the world is inherently "masculine" or "feminine." But I have never felt, to paraphrase The Who, that "I'm a boy, I'm a boy, but [the world] won't admit it." I have never had the sense that there is something about my body that is so completely at odds with who I am as a person that living in that body in an unmodified form results in serious psychic pain. There are people who feel this way, and many of them know it even as kids. Let's absolutely smash the patriarchy--but can we please do it in a way that doesn't erase or otherwise oppress these folks?

[OkToBeTakei]

While I agree in general that we should not subscribe to rigid gender roles, especially for kids, the way this thread is currently expressing that sentiment makes me very nervous, for the following reason: it elides the reality that genuinely trans* kids exist. For these children, being properly gendered at their request and having access first to puberty blockers and then to hormone therapy is hugely important. And when we try to explain *all* gender non-conforming children under the rubric that 1. gender roles are constructed (IMO, true!), 2. that we shouldn't rigidly box people in (also true!), and that therefore 3. gender dysphoria in children is a consequence of failing to recognize 1 & 2 (not true!), we contribute to a system in which it's incredibly difficult for trans youth to get the medical treatment they require.

Because honestly? There is a big difference between the statements, "I WISH I were [x gender]" and "I AM [x gender.]" When I was a kid, I played with both dolls and tractors, and at various points, said that I wished I were a boy--because I was able to perceive male privilege, even in my 8-year-old way, and I wanted a piece of it. I'm in a same-sex relationship, I dress in a way that is somewhat androgynous, and I resist vociferously the notion that any given activity or way of thinking or relating to the world is inherently "masculine" or "feminine." But I have never felt, to paraphrase The Who, that "I'm a boy, I'm a boy, but [the world] won't admit it." I have never had the sense that there is something about my body that is so completely at odds with who I am as a person that living in that body in an unmodified form results in serious psychic pain. There are people who feel this way, and many of them know it even as kids. Let's absolutely smash the patriarchy--but can we please do it in a way that doesn't erase or otherwise oppress these folks?

It would make me very nervous also IF we were discussing transgender children in general which actually has been discussed on FJ in the past and most certainly the discussion looked very different from this. BUT we are not.

I think the majority of people are aware of the difference. The child being discussed or actually more so his Mother is not in fact a girl trapped inside a boys body he has expressed his content over being a boy. I would hasten a guess his Mother would have been shouting it from the rooftops if this was not the case.

[JesusFightClub]

While I agree in general that we should not subscribe to rigid gender roles, especially for kids, the way this thread is currently expressing that sentiment makes me very nervous, for the following reason: it elides the reality that genuinely trans* kids exist. For these children, being properly gendered at their request and having access first to puberty blockers and then to hormone therapy is hugely important. And when we try to explain *all* gender non-conforming children under the rubric that 1. gender roles are constructed (IMO, true!), 2. that we shouldn't rigidly box people in (also true!), and that therefore 3. gender dysphoria in children is a consequence of failing to recognize 1 & 2 (not true!), we contribute to a system in which it's incredibly difficult for trans youth to get the medical treatment they require.

Because honestly? There is a big difference between the statements, "I WISH I were [x gender]" and "I AM [x gender.]" When I was a kid, I played with both dolls and tractors, and at various points, said that I wished I were a boy--because I was able to perceive male privilege, even in my 8-year-old way, and I wanted a piece of it. I'm in a same-sex relationship, I dress in a way that is somewhat androgynous, and I resist vociferously the notion that any given activity or way of thinking or relating to the world is inherently "masculine" or "feminine." But I have never felt, to paraphrase The Who, that "I'm a boy, I'm a boy, but [the world] won't admit it." I have never had the sense that there is something about my body that is so completely at odds with who I am as a person that living in that body in an unmodified form results in serious psychic pain. There are people who feel this way, and many of them know it even as kids. Let's absolutely smash the patriarchy--but can we please do it in a way that doesn't erase or otherwise oppress these folks?

Who's erasing or oppressing anyone?

We're not talking about trans kids, we're talking about parents who decide FOR THAT CHILD that he/she is "trans" "rainbow" "gender non-conforming" etc.

[moodygirl86]

WTH is so horrible about periods?

The stomach cramps!

[tigerchild]

I have talked to a few blokes about this and it seems (if it's not explained properly) they kind of think the woman pees blood. So no matter where you are and what you are doing, you are peeing blood. And they know about cramps but don't have a comparison so they think it's like being kicked in the balls. Repeatedly.

That's younger guys and gay men usually, who haven't yet or won't ever have the experience of getting up close and personal with a laydee at that time of the month. They do not know what it involves, except it sounds horrible. I do not blame them for being scared :)

Well, to be honest, periods can be extremely hellish for some people.

I got my period at 12 and have been plagued by cramps so horrible that I was on prescription pain meds for them and even then ended up puking my guts out because of the pain if I did not have the proper overlap and there wasn't enough medication in my system. (No, I do not have endometriosis, just apparently an overactive prostaglandin production and a retroverted/tipped uterus).

Also, when I am menstruating I always carry 2 changes of pants/underwear socks at least in my car because I often have one or more episodes of flooding. Without warning, and sometimes even without a lot of pain I will have a gush of blood that overwhelms both tampon and pad (I wear both, the maximum absorbency of each) and I will have blood spilling down my legs into my shoes. At night I sleep with a double layer of towels over my sheets. I take iron supplements because I become severely anemic after my period if I don't.

While i realize that I am in the minority, and most people's mild cramps can be taken care of by popping some Advil or tylenol and they might leak a bit if they pass a clot or whatever but otherwise it's a minor embarassment or inconvenience...I do find people acting as if periods are no big deal to be a bit tiresome. Dunno if that is this lady's experience, but hey, my experience is 'real' too.

When my daughter started her period it was very nervewracking for me to be positive/upbeat while we waited to see if she'd inherited this from me. She does have really painful periods, but thankfully no flooding issues yet...she's young though. So I've had to be more realistic with her about what she may face in the future. It's been really irritating for me to already have to fight with school people over "yes, if she says she has menstrual cramps, and wants to come home you need to call me because you should believe what she reports instead of patting her on the head and saying that periods aren't that bad."

This has been my reality since I was 12...I'm 39 now. There's nothing wrong with me, I do not have PCOS or endometriosis or any other true abnormality or disease (a tipped uterus is not uncommon and while many people do have cramps they aren't guaranteed a life time of hurl-worthy pain and leaving blood trails in the hall if they wear a skirt while on their period) or clotting disorder or anything like that. It's just how it is for me. It's manageable and it's over with in 3 days for me (I'd almost rather deal with that than the people who bleed for a week!) but...it is a real experience.

[Alice_Fraggle]

Well, to be honest, periods can be extremely hellish for some people.

I got my period at 12 and have been plagued by cramps so horrible that I was on prescription pain meds for them and even then ended up puking my guts out because of the pain if I did not have the proper overlap and there wasn't enough medication in my system. (No, I do not have endometriosis, just apparently an overactive prostaglandin production and a retroverted/tipped uterus).

Also, when I am menstruating I always carry 2 changes of pants/underwear socks at least in my car because I often have one or more episodes of flooding. Without warning, and sometimes even without a lot of pain I will have a gush of blood that overwhelms both tampon and pad (I wear both, the maximum absorbency of each) and I will have blood spilling down my legs into my shoes. At night I sleep with a double layer of towels over my sheets. I take iron supplements because I become severely anemic after my period if I don't.

While i realize that I am in the minority, and most people's mild cramps can be taken care of by popping some Advil or tylenol and they might leak a bit if they pass a clot or whatever but otherwise it's a minor embarassment or inconvenience...I do find people acting as if periods are no big deal to be a bit tiresome. Dunno if that is this lady's experience, but hey, my experience is 'real' too.

When my daughter started her period it was very nervewracking for me to be positive/upbeat while we waited to see if she'd inherited this from me. She does have really painful periods, but thankfully no flooding issues yet...she's young though. So I've had to be more realistic with her about what she may face in the future. It's been really irritating for me to already have to fight with school people over "yes, if she says she has menstrual cramps, and wants to come home you need to call me because you should believe what she reports instead of patting her on the head and saying that periods aren't that bad."

This has been my reality since I was 12...I'm 39 now. There's nothing wrong with me, I do not have PCOS or endometriosis or any other true abnormality or disease (a tipped uterus is not uncommon and while many people do have cramps they aren't guaranteed a life time of hurl-worthy pain and leaving blood trails in the hall if they wear a skirt while on their period) or clotting disorder or anything like that. It's just how it is for me. It's manageable and it's over with in 3 days for me (I'd almost rather deal with that than the people who bleed for a week!) but...it is a real experience.

That really sucks! I often look at periods through the lens of my own, and often forget that I'm "lucky" with what I've got. I'll never minimize periods again after reading what you have to go through.

I've read this blog for a little while, and I also got the impression that the Mom was bummed that "C.J.'s Brother" is straight. It has to suck to be that kid - his Mom doesn't talk about him much on the blog except to compare him to C.J.. I also felt bad for the other little boy that they met up with (Twirl may be his blog name) because it was almost like CJ's Mom felt superior because CJ is comfortable with his non-confirmation (which he SHOULD be) and the other boy was more cautious about it. Did anyone else feel that way?

[tigerchild]

I think some people do get really wrapped up in an aspect of their child's identity, especially if it's something that they feel they must 'fight for'.

Having read some of the rest of her blog, she reminds me of some of the parents I know who seem (TO ME) overly invested in their identity as their child's mom. I have one friend in particular who is extremely, extremely invested in being a gifted child's mom, and she does focus on that child over her others, I think because she's had to fight so hard to get for him what he needs, that it's become a very significant part of her identity as well as being (in her perception, and probably not wrongly so) the "most interesting" aspect of herself that she'd like to share with other people.

I'd think with blogging that makes it even more focused/concentrated. Her book is about this child and her being the mom. Her blog seems to revolve around that. I'm not sure how often she takes out those lenses for others, but it seems like it could be very easily to slip into the temptation of seeing EVERYTHING through the lens of her experience being her gender non-conforming child's mom, it's what she thinks people are interested in her for (and let's face it, I doubt she's wrong). I doubt it is intentional and she may not even be aware of it.

I've also seen people slip into this after their child has a major illness (Even after recovery). Or just being a parent in general (they can't slip into other roles, as being a parent of young children has become their primary/most valued idenity). I don't think this is the mark of a bad person so much as human nature. And blogging and such IS mostly about capturing other people's attention for many people.

[Mama Mia]

While I agree in general that we should not subscribe to rigid gender roles, especially for kids, the way this thread is currently expressing that sentiment makes me very nervous, for the following reason: it elides the reality that genuinely trans* kids exist. For these children, being properly gendered at their request and having access first to puberty blockers and then to hormone therapy is hugely important. And when we try to explain *all* gender non-conforming children under the rubric that 1. gender roles are constructed (IMO, true!), 2. that we shouldn't rigidly box people in (also true!), and that therefore 3. gender dysphoria in children is a consequence of failing to recognize 1 & 2 (not true!), we contribute to a system in which it's incredibly difficult for trans youth to get the medical treatment they require.

Because honestly? There is a big difference between the statements, "I WISH I were [x gender]" and "I AM [x gender.]" When I was a kid, I played with both dolls and tractors, and at various points, said that I wished I were a boy--because I was able to perceive male privilege, even in my 8-year-old way, and I wanted a piece of it. I'm in a same-sex relationship, I dress in a way that is somewhat androgynous, and I resist vociferously the notion that any given activity or way of thinking or relating to the world is inherently "masculine" or "feminine." But I have never felt, to paraphrase The Who, that "I'm a boy, I'm a boy, but [the world] won't admit it." I have never had the sense that there is something about my body that is so completely at odds with who I am as a person that living in that body in an unmodified form results in serious psychic pain. There are people who feel this way, and many of them know it even as kids. Let's absolutely smash the patriarchy--but can we please do it in a way that doesn't erase or otherwise oppress these folks?

I think what people are expressing in this thread is annoyance at these particular parents, who seem to be very much concerned with showing the world how extra tolerant they are, and in the process seem to be pushing choices on their children that may not even be true for them.

If Coys mother notices his preference for a pink blanket at 6 months and starts oohing and aching every time he does anything considered remotely girlish, and jumps for joy if he picks up a Barbie, and practically swoons when he says at 4 that's he 's a girl....then of course Coy is going to be motivated to have a female identity.

The same with Rainbow child whose mother gloats and clearly favors him because he likes shoes with pink shoelaces.

That isn't the same as a child having a clear and persistent identification with the gender they weren't biologically born to. How can they separate out what is truly what they want, and what is what feels positive only because its gotten them so much positive attention from their mothers ?

Especially at such very young ages.

[theologygeek]

That woman is annoying. She reminds me of Dooce. "I have a gay friend and everyone needs a gay friend and I love my gays and my dog loves gays and I'm socially conscious and gay all the way!!! Yeah!!!" Big damn deal. No one cares. People who act like that are rebelling against their upbringing because they still have issues.

[JesusFightClub]

Well, to be honest, periods can be extremely hellish for some people.

I got my period at 12 and have been plagued by cramps so horrible that I was on prescription pain meds for them and even then ended up puking my guts out because of the pain if I did not have the proper overlap and there wasn't enough medication in my system. (No, I do not have endometriosis, just apparently an overactive prostaglandin production and a retroverted/tipped uterus).

Also, when I am menstruating I always carry 2 changes of pants/underwear socks at least in my car because I often have one or more episodes of flooding. Without warning, and sometimes even without a lot of pain I will have a gush of blood that overwhelms both tampon and pad (I wear both, the maximum absorbency of each) and I will have blood spilling down my legs into my shoes. At night I sleep with a double layer of towels over my sheets. I take iron supplements because I become severely anemic after my period if I don't.

While i realize that I am in the minority, and most people's mild cramps can be taken care of by popping some Advil or tylenol and they might leak a bit if they pass a clot or whatever but otherwise it's a minor embarassment or inconvenience...I do find people acting as if periods are no big deal to be a bit tiresome. Dunno if that is this lady's experience, but hey, my experience is 'real' too.

When my daughter started her period it was very nervewracking for me to be positive/upbeat while we waited to see if she'd inherited this from me. She does have really painful periods, but thankfully no flooding issues yet...she's young though. So I've had to be more realistic with her about what she may face in the future. It's been really irritating for me to already have to fight with school people over "yes, if she says she has menstrual cramps, and wants to come home you need to call me because you should believe what she reports instead of patting her on the head and saying that periods aren't that bad."

This has been my reality since I was 12...I'm 39 now. There's nothing wrong with me, I do not have PCOS or endometriosis or any other true abnormality or disease (a tipped uterus is not uncommon and while many people do have cramps they aren't guaranteed a life time of hurl-worthy pain and leaving blood trails in the hall if they wear a skirt while on their period) or clotting disorder or anything like that. It's just how it is for me. It's manageable and it's over with in 3 days for me (I'd almost rather deal with that than the people who bleed for a week!) but...it is a real experience.

No, I totally get you. I hope you don't think I was minimising in any way some people's horrible period experience.

My cycle's 20 days if I'm lucky and I do have issues with blood clotting (my blood is not very good at this). It's not usually painful but I bleed to a ridiculous extent. (I've actually fainted a few times). I also started my period when I was 10, and probably have another 25 years to put up with them :D so I totally know periods can be shit, and I feel for your daughter.

What I think would be good would be if there was an explanation for boys and girls at...perhaps 11 years old? When I were a lass the boys were taken out of class and had a session of PE or something manly while the school nurse explained periods (I was 13 and had been having them for years). I think it really is something both sexes need to hear about and regard as normal.

[FloraDoraDolly]

I think what people are expressing in this thread is annoyance at these particular parents, who seem to be very much concerned with showing the world how extra tolerant they are, and in the process seem to be pushing choices on their children that may not even be true for them.

If Coys mother notices his preference for a pink blanket at 6 months and starts oohing and aching every time he does anything considered remotely girlish, and jumps for joy if he picks up a Barbie, and practically swoons when he says at 4 that's he 's a girl....then of course Coy is going to be motivated to have a female identity.

The same with Rainbow child whose mother gloats and clearly favors him because he likes shoes with pink shoelaces.

That isn't the same as a child having a clear and persistent identification with the gender they weren't biologically born to. How can they separate out what is truly what they want, and what is what feels positive only because its gotten them so much positive attention from their mothers ?

Especially at such very young ages.

The very young trans kids I've seen in documentaries were already dealing with heavy-duty issues. They were severely depressed, even suicidal. The bio boys didn't just want to play with Barbies and wear dresses, they hated their own bodies to the point where they wanted to mutiliate themselves. I haven't read all of Rainbow Boy's history, but so far I'm not seeing any of that. With Coy, there was the controversy involving the school bathroom, but even that might have been parent-driven.

[mockingbird]

I think some people do get really wrapped up in an aspect of their child's identity, especially if it's something that they feel they must 'fight for'.

Having read some of the rest of her blog, she reminds me of some of the parents I know who seem (TO ME) overly invested in their identity as their child's mom. I have one friend in particular who is extremely, extremely invested in being a gifted child's mom, and she does focus on that child over her others, I think because she's had to fight so hard to get for him what he needs, that it's become a very significant part of her identity as well as being (in her perception, and probably not wrongly so) the "most interesting" aspect of herself that she'd like to share with other people.

I'd think with blogging that makes it even more focused/concentrated. Her book is about this child and her being the mom. Her blog seems to revolve around that. I'm not sure how often she takes out those lenses for others, but it seems like it could be very easily to slip into the temptation of seeing EVERYTHING through the lens of her experience being her gender non-conforming child's mom, it's what she thinks people are interested in her for (and let's face it, I doubt she's wrong). I doubt it is intentional and she may not even be aware of it.

I've also seen people slip into this after their child has a major illness (Even after recovery). Or just being a parent in general (they can't slip into other roles, as being a parent of young children has become their primary/most valued idenity). I don't think this is the mark of a bad person so much as human nature. And blogging and such IS mostly about capturing other people's attention for many people.

I know quite a few parents like this. I never thought about it that way but it totally makes sense that they might have seen themselves in one "role" and be unable to break out of it. I haven't read much of the blog but maybe that's behind her hyperfocus on rainbow-ness.