Sparkling Adventures in Child Neglect: Now with Rats!

[already hungover]

Don't most shops and restaurants require shoes?

Lauren has dreads.

[Chicken bones]

On a website called samaritansfeet.org...."There are many different types of parasitic and soil transmitted diseases prevalent in the world. Hookworm, podoconiosis, and schistosomiasis, are just a few of the most common. According to the World Health Organization there are currently 2 billion people infected with these diseases in more than 100 countries. This is truly a worldwide epidemic that demands immediate attention and action."

Not that Australia is really one of these places teeming with parasites or anything, but communicable diseases are out there and that's a big reason why we are required to wear shoes in public places.

[Ariel]

Where did you see this? I only saw two comments.

I live in Florida and the idea of swimming anywhere near an alligator is so terrifying. You do not (and fucking should not) mess around with them, especially since kids are the perfect size for a medium to large gator.

[Stephanie66]

OK, I am behind on this, but who was Marcus? Some guy she just picked up? He seems like a nice enough guy, but seriously, she has FOUR DAUGHTERS and she doesn't watch them and they recently lost a father and brother. They are ripe to be victimized.

RE: Alligators. There was one in a lake in Minnesota. Granted, it was only 3 feet long and wouldn't have survived the winter, but they also believe there are more. It's something we don't even think about here, but wow.

[lilith]

Salt water crocodiles are even more viscous than alligators. They can and do eat people, especially children.

[Stephanie66]

Salt water crocodiles are even more viscous than alligators. They can and do eat people, especially children.

I would think that the murder of her son to drowning would make her more cautious with the four she has. She confuses me, seriously.

But when the murder of a child is a "neutral", then I guess losing one to a crocodile wouldn't be much worse.

[already hungover]

I would think that the murder of her son to drowning would make her more cautious with the four she has. She confuses me, seriously.

But when the murder of a child is a "neutral", then I guess losing one to a crocodile wouldn't be much worse.

I almost wonder if she feels like the worst thing that could ever happen to her has already happened, so she just can't muster the energy to care anymore. She reminds me a bit of my own mother in that way.

It seems like she's constantly running away from her reality: first it was her shitty childhood, then her relationship with David, now it's the fact that he is severely mentally ill and MURDERED THEIR INFANT. Also, I think deep down she knows that the running doesn't do any good - after all, Elijah died despite her efforts to keep moving and sparkling. It's like she used to feel safe when she was constantly on the move, but that sense of safety was destroyed with Elijah's death, and now she feels completely powerless so she's cashed it in completely. She was doing her best in her own weird Laureny way and it wasn't enough.

As much as Lauren irritates the everloving shit out of me, I actually do feel quite bad for her because I think she must be in a lot of pain and lacks the mental resources and social support system to process it, so she keeps running. Obviously it goes without saying that I feel much worse for her children, who are also grieving and are totally trapped by their mother's irresponsible "lifestyle choices." I really hope that they all make it out unscathed but I am not optimistic.

...and thus concludes my armchair psychoanalysis of Lauren.

[lilith]

I almost wonder if she feels like the worst thing that could ever happen to her has already happened, so she just can't muster the energy to care anymore. She reminds me a bit of my own mother in that way.

It seems like she's constantly running away from her reality: first it was her shitty childhood, then her relationship with David, now it's the fact that he is severely mentally ill and MURDERED THEIR INFANT. Also, I think deep down she knows that the running doesn't do any good - after all, Elijah died despite her efforts to keep moving and sparkling. It's like she used to feel safe when she was constantly on the move, but that sense of safety was destroyed with Elijah's death, and now she feels completely powerless so she's cashed it in completely. She was doing her best in her own weird Laureny way and it wasn't enough.

As much as Lauren irritates the everloving shit out of me, I actually do feel quite bad for her because I think she must be in a lot of pain and lacks the mental resources and social support system to process it, so she keeps running. Obviously it goes without saying that I feel much worse for her children, who are also grieving and are totally trapped by their mother's irresponsible "lifestyle choices." I really hope that they all make it out unscathed but I am not optimistic.

...and thus concludes my armchair psychoanalysis of Lauren.

The thing is, the social resources and support are there for her, she just insists on rejecting them. Both her and David have large, supportive families, who rushed to Lauren's side in the aftermath of Elijah's death, many from far flung parts of the country and world. You can see from her blog/Facebook and her sister's blog that many family members have expressed concern and offered ongoing support and that Lauren has rejected it, angrily in some cases where she interprets concern as an attack on her choices and an attempt to limit her freedoms.

She also has many friends from within the homeschooling and alternative communities who constantly offer help and support, but she only ever seems to accept material help such as donations, gifts and places to stay. Churches and friends from her conservative Christian days also keep offering support, but sparkling Lauren would never accept help from such mundane friends.

There is a massive amount of help available to Lauren from the state - counselling, legal advice, help dealing with the courts, schools and subsidised childcare to give her space to get herself together, medical support..... but again she only accepts help in material forms, as her parenting payment and family tax benefit.

She also owns a lovely home outright. She has a stable place to settle and heal and to allow her daughters to heal, close to David, close to resources she can access, and, as she owns the home and qualifies for a generous pension, without financial worries. She also has a degree and work experience that would enable her to get a good job if she wanted to.

She has so much more support available and so many more options than most people, yet she refuses it all and allows her daughters to suffer, all in the name of "authenticity" and her own spiritual and personal development and journey. She is so incredibly privileged in so many ways, and it's sickening how she takes it for granted and throws away luxuries and support that many lack and desperately need.

[August]

I don't think it's any of that. I think she's just too fucking stupid to understand safety. She isn't flexible enough to visualise what could go wrong, or smart enough to prioritise among different potential outcomes and the gain from the activity. She's almost certainly too depressed and tired to enforce rules, but she has never ever shown any comprehension of relative risk. Ever.

For example, they only have the gifted gypsy because CPS forbade them from using the truck which had no seats for the kids. They were happy for years driving around with their kids unsupervised and unrestrained in the back.

[Stephanie66]

I just plowed through some of her older posts. She mentioned something about "dark days" after birthing Elijah, so I wonder if she is possibly just horribly depressed.

She might think her life was horrible when she was a suburban family, but she seemed happier. I am not sure who she is rebelling against, exactly, but perhaps she had a chronic post-partum depression that just stayed after Elijah died? Maybe she got caught up in David's crazy?

I do agree that now she is just running.

Oh, and there is a photo of Aisha in her first pair of shoes. The irony.

[Alice_Fraggle]

I just read her post about not wearing shoes and if I could I'd NEVER wear shoes, but I do because of the dangers of going barefoot all the time, everywhere. Yes, part of it is cultural, but a bigger part is safety. And, as someone said before, I don't want to look at dirty feet while I'm eating!

[Blahblah]

I'm not so sure that Lauren is stupid. I think she is narcissistic in that the universe revolves around her and exists to serve her. She sits in the middle like a spider in her web of delusion.

Twisting Elijah's death to be neutral is an example of how she manages to make everything all about her. "my son died so that I could meet new people and I could go on this sparkly adventure".

The girl's safety? "I've put all this sparkliness out into the universe so now my girls can do whatever they want and the outcome will always benefit me. If they don't wear shoes, or matching clothes, or have nice hair, everyone will recognize how sparkly I am"

Freeloading off the tax payer and anyone she meets? "because I am so authentic, the universe provides for me"

"everyone will accept me and if they don't that is because they are not authentic and are just plain wrong" Because Dreads.

[CheeseDeprived]

I don't think she's stupid, but I do think she's not of sound mind. She's found ways of justifying everything she does and twisting it in a way that makes it very hard to question her; also, she has an answer for everything. I think that's partly what she's running from - she's never really around anyone long enough to give them more than a superficial impression. She's flitting around in order to avoid being pinned down, questioned and possibly held accountable by someone who's spent more than a couple of days with her and her girls. That's my theory, anyway.

I know someone else like that IRL, it's quite scary.

[August]

I'm not so sure that Lauren is stupid. I think she is narcissistic in that the universe revolves around her and exists to serve her. She sits in the middle like a spider in her web of delusion.

Twisting Elijah's death to be neutral is an example of how she manages to make everything all about her. "my son died so that I could meet new people and I could go on this sparkly adventure".

The girl's safety? "I've put all this sparkliness out into the universe so now my girls can do whatever they want and the outcome will always benefit me. If they don't wear shoes, or matching clothes, or have nice hair, everyone will recognize how sparkly I am"

Freeloading off the tax payer and anyone she meets? "because I am so authentic, the universe provides for me"

"everyone will accept me and if they don't that is because they are not authentic and are just plain wrong" Because Dreads.

But this was before she was authentic. Even when she was obsessed with controlling the children she never noticed safety issues.

[lizziesmom]

Okay, I get that she moves around a lot but with the regular postings on her blog that seem to me like concrete examples of neglect, how on earth does she still have custody of these children?

[ILoveJellybeans]

Okay, I get that she moves around a lot but with the regular postings on her blog that seem to me like concrete examples of neglect, how on earth does she still have custody of these children?

She travels around so much to different parts of the country, which makes it hard for the Australian equivalent of CPS to track her down.

[Cerdwin]

Any crocodiles at Lake Moondarra are fresh water, not salties. I lived there for 7 years, hubby was born and bred there, and I never saw a crocodile there. It is my understanding that crocodile sightings tend to occur during and after heavy flooding. The lake is used for fishing and water sports year round, as it is pretty much it as far as water goes in the area. I am not a fan of her parenting skills, but the kids were not in any more danger than in a swimming pool.

[lilith]

She travels around so much to different parts of the country, which makes it hard for the Australian equivalent of CPS to track her down.

Our DOCS (CPS equivalent) are state based agencies. She is never in one state long enough for any action to be taken, and if a state agency receives reports they have no way of knowing about prior reports in other states.

[already hungover]

The thing is, the social resources and support are there for her, she just insists on rejecting them. Both her and David have large, supportive families, who rushed to Lauren's side in the aftermath of Elijah's death, many from far flung parts of the country and world. You can see from her blog/Facebook and her sister's blog that many family members have expressed concern and offered ongoing support and that Lauren has rejected it, angrily in some cases where she interprets concern as an attack on her choices and an attempt to limit her freedoms.

She also has many friends from within the homeschooling and alternative communities who constantly offer help and support, but she only ever seems to accept material help such as donations, gifts and places to stay. Churches and friends from her conservative Christian days also keep offering support, but sparkling Lauren would never accept help from such mundane friends.

There is a massive amount of help available to Lauren from the state - counselling, legal advice, help dealing with the courts, schools and subsidised childcare to give her space to get herself together, medical support..... but again she only accepts help in material forms, as her parenting payment and family tax benefit.

She also owns a lovely home outright. She has a stable place to settle and heal and to allow her daughters to heal, close to David, close to resources she can access, and, as she owns the home and qualifies for a generous pension, without financial worries. She also has a degree and work experience that would enable her to get a good job if she wanted to.

She has so much more support available and so many more options than most people, yet she refuses it all and allows her daughters to suffer, all in the name of "authenticity" and her own spiritual and personal development and journey. She is so incredibly privileged in so many ways, and it's sickening how she takes it for granted and throws away luxuries and support that many lack and desperately need.

Being depressed can make people do irrational things, such as rejecting offers of assistance from family, friends, or professionals. For some reason I just think she's got some kind of mental illness going on, and I feel bad for her because feeling like that sucks.

[RainbowSky]

Lauren has a degree? In what? How'd I miss this!?

[snarkelle]

She used to be a graphic designer (quite a good one, judging by how the blog looks) so I assume her degree is in a related field.

This is where I really truly feel for her. She loved her job. ("The highlight of my week was Wednesday, when I dressed like an adult and got to act like an adult all day!").

It is all in the posts labelled 'My Brilliant Career'. From these posts I have gleaned:

After she took time off to have kids, she wanted to go back, David didn't want her to (and they didn't want to use formal child care). Instead of negotiating or standing her ground, she acquiesced.

My armchair psychoanalysis, and feminist interpretation, for what it's worth, is that she grieved for her job and never really got over that. Characteristically, she suppressed her grief, and couldn't handle the dialectical tension between loving her children and hating what they have done to her life (which most mothers eventually accept as a fact of motherhood). But it shines through in those career posts.

I think the 'let's opt out of society and real houses and jobs and drive around in a bus not using contraception' was a passive-aggressive fuck-you to David.

"(We still haven’t decided if I’ll go back, but here’s hoping…).... David doesn’t want to look after the girls even a couple of days of week, so I cannot even return to work part-time. I know day care is not the best option for them. My calling is to now minister to my children. I am their best carer.

And they are now my brilliant career."

i.e. the message to David is, you want an earth mother who doesn't exercise autonomy and spends every waking minute with her children? I'll give you an earth mother with bells on. A vengeful, resentful earth mother, but a consummate earth mother.

Not how I chose to handle this work-family issue myself, but then my husband never tried to stop me going back to work. he wouldn't have dared.

[church_of_dog]

Lauren has a degree? In what? How'd I miss this!?

I'm reading her blog archives, and just happen to come across where she stated that neither she nor David have university degrees, but are self-taught in their respective fields.

Also, I've got to say that so far, David seems like a pretty wonderful guy, dedicated to her and the kids. It makes me so much more curious what it was that really happened with him.

[August]

Mental illness. He wanted to escape to rural NZ and hide out the apocalypse, or, failing that, hide in plain sight in the white truck. Paranoid, certainly. He was also crazy weird religious, too. He was escorted out of church yelling about stuff.

[lizziesmom]

Our DOCS (CPS equivalent) are state based agencies. She is never in one state long enough for any action to be taken, and if a state agency receives reports they have no way of knowing about prior reports in other states.

I remember in this country when police agencies operated independently of one another. Serial criminals had a field day until all began working together. I don't know how DOCS/CPS agencies work but in this day and age if they don't work together it's time they started. Moving around should not be a loophole to prevent protection agencies from removing children in danger from their situation/parents.

[church_of_dog]

Well, I know plenty of apocalypse-planners (economic collapse variety, not religious armageddon variety) and think most of them are pretty sane, with a few exceptions of course.

But yes, mental illness, I think you're right. Very sad.