Respect and obey your husband even if he's an idiot

[snuggles911]

At Sunshine Mary's latest post: sunshinemaryandthedragon.wordpress.com/2013/05/21/can-a-wife-respect-a-husband-who-is-an-idiot, she tells women they must respect their husbands unconditionally, even if they're idiots.

But what about the fact that sometimes the man has truly sinned and his wife really does have cause to be unhappy? If that is the case, should he then make concessions to her demands? I don’t think so because Ephesians 5:33 says:

However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

I cannot find a single verse in the Bible that tells a wife first to judge her husband’s performance to see how he’s doing and then decide if he is worthy of her respect and submission based on that evaluation. She has to respect him even if he has made mistakes in the past. He has to lead, even if he has sinned in the past. She can make requests and suggestions but not demands, and she must submit to him.

Over a hundred followers weighed in. One woman, Lisa in Vermont, was upset b/c her husband refused to allow her to purchase a bbq grill with money she had earned. She bought the grill anyway and was concerned because she didn't feel guilty about it:

Strangely I don’t feel guilty about it. I’m usually very submissive when it comes to finances. For instance, he handles all of our fiances and gives me a $20 weekly allowance, which I accept without complaint. But, there was something about the way he completely disregarded my feelings that pushed me over the edge when it came to the grill.

This led Sunshine to restate her point that women must ALWAYS submit, even when their husbands are jerks:

I’ve said this before, but you can only truly see if a woman is committed to biblical submission when you see how she behaves when her husband makes a decision she doesn’t agree with. That’s where the rubber meets the road. She has to go along with something she may totally disagree with and which may make her angry and she has to do it with a pleasant, respectful attitude.

And, she tells her readers that her husband, HHG, he wouldn't put up with this type of rebellious behavior:

If I tried to tell HHG that I bought myself something he had told me not to buy because he hadn’t filled my love tank, he would most likely tell me OK, bend over so I can fill your love tank, then go return what you bought. Yes, I really do think it is fitness testing.

It amazes me that women still believe they have to kowtow to their husbands like this.

[Koala]

If I tried to tell HHG that I bought myself something he had told me not to buy because he hadn’t filled my love tank, he would most likely tell me OK, bend over so I can fill your love tank, then go return what you bought. Yes, I really do think it is fitness testing.

I'm sorry, but what the fuck is she advocating for here? :evil-eye:

[bal maiden]

I'm sorry, but what the fuck is she advocating for here? :evil-eye:

I was wondering exactly the same :shock: :?

[Jinger Jar]

It must be hell living in these passive-aggressive households. They're forever trapped in conniving psychodramas that most of us outgrew in middle school, and it's got to be emotionally exhausting.

If you think you need to be childlike in your marriage, that you should defer to hubdaddy in everything and receive a weekly allowance for your obedience like a good daughterife, that's on you. Live with it. Accept that, like most lifestyle decisions, slavish obedience and submission has its upsides and its downsides. And whatever you do, make some kind of peace with your life, because the resentment I see in this blog and blogs like it is the kind of stuff that leads to women snapping and going after their husbands with knives or cast iron frying pans.

[salex]

I'm sorry, but what the fuck is she advocating for here? :evil-eye:

She's snarking on the concept of people needing to be loved in ways that fill their needs (5 love languages, which I've never read but is quite popular in many religious groups refers to a, "love tank" similar to an "emotional bank account" which used to be the pop phrase) by mocking the responder who said she felt demeaned by her husbands treatment of her.

Mary is saying her husband would mock her and fuck her from behind if she even brought up an emotional lack especially when calling it an empty "love tank", because she wants the reader to know as a "real man" her husband is an uncaring dick with the same sense of humor one might find on a Beavis and Butthead episode.

I hope Mary keeps him busy at home, as that means fewer of us will ever run the risk of accidently seeing him in public someday.

[OkToBeTakei]

I hope Lisa from Vermont barbecues her husband's detached testicles with a wee bit of Gorgonzola and mascarpone sauce :lol:

[Loveday]

Just when I think Lori is teetering over the edge of the abyss, along comes Sunshine Mary to show her how to jump. :shock:

[AVENues]

Unconditional love is something that does exist and comes naturally between certain people. Unconditional request is an oxymoron. You respect someone when that person is up to your standards regarding certain human qualities and they EARN your respect. Unconditional respect is impossible.

OKTBT, you never fail to make me laugh and gag at the same time :lol:

[AVENues]

I'm sorry, but what the fuck is she advocating for here? :evil-eye:

She's just trying to justify her misery and would like to spread that kind of misery to as many other women as possible.

[bluelady]

And, she tells her readers that her husband, HHG, he wouldn't put up with this type of rebellious behavior:

It amazes me that women still believe they have to kowtow to their husbands like this.

HA! This past weekend, I bought a new pair of running shoes. They were expensive, but it has been a long time since I've purchased anything for myself and, hell, I wanted them. We're not in financial danger and it came from money that I had saved. When I told my partner what I had spent, he was a little put-out and made several comments about it. We're saving for a house and, as a substitute teacher, he's looking at 2-3 months unemployment in the near future. His comments were based solely on our finances and never about him giving, or not giving, me permission to buy them. Even still, I found his comments unwarranted and told him as much, seeing as our bills were paid, we had significant savings for a down payment and the money didn't come out of any household budget. Then, I suggested he take $200 and buy himself something that he really wanted.

Never once did he imply that I should return the shoes or that I should "bend over" and if he had, he would be the one bent over from the swift kick to the nuts he'd receive from my foot, newly clad in the offending running shoe.

*I know that responding to violence with violence is not the answer, but geez...

[infooverload]

HA! This past weekend, I bought a new pair of running shoes. They were expensive, but it has been a long time since I've purchased anything for myself and, hell, I wanted them. We're not in financial danger and it came from money that I had saved. When I told my partner what I had spent, he was a little put-out and made several comments about it. We're saving for a house and, as a substitute teacher, he's looking at 2-3 months unemployment in the near future. His comments were based solely on our finances and never about him giving, or not giving, me permission to buy them. Even still, I found his comments unwarranted and told him as much, seeing as our bills were paid, we had significant savings for a down payment and the money didn't come out of any household budget. Then, I suggested he take $200 and buy himself something that he really wanted.

Never once did he imply that I should return the shoes or that I should "bend over" and if he had, he would be the one bent over from the swift kick to the nuts he'd receive from my foot, newly clad in the offending running shoe.

*I know that responding to violence with violence is not the answer, but geez...

Must have been the weekend to buy shoes since I treated myself to shoes as well. When it comes to money I'm the more frugal one and my husband spends. If he had control of everything it would be interesting. He recently refinanced his car loan and added a year to the payments. Since his payments affect the household I was very pissed. His justification was well I only will have to pay $1200.00 in interest instead of $6000.00 by the time the loan is done. My thought was the money is still going towards payment wheather it is principal or interest and a car is a decreasing assest so not the smartest thing. Sorry I got side tracked, on my own little rant. What is just nuts is having this idea you can't call out your spouse or say look buddy I'll give respect when you earn it. I mean fundie marriage seems like pure hell with the wife being made to constantly feel like crap. Also has anyone ever noticed those "Prayers for your Husband" things on facebook and elsewhere. Why are woman always made to pray for the man and cater to him. What is the man doing again?

[JesusFightClub]

:pink-shock:

That is one surreal moment. "Bend over, so I can do you from behind like the bitch you are, and then return the thing you bought that made you happy, cause hell, bitch, it's ME that's happy in THIS relationship and you'd better remember it." What a charming model of love *gag*

Oh, BTW, REAL GODLY love equals the amount of times your husband is willing to cum in you when there are so many more willing recipients of his super manly love juice.

Excuse me while I swoon at the romance of it all...

[browngrl]

I suppose that if you are wallowing in fundie Koolaid then Sunshine Mary's post and the accompanying comments might not sound as horrific as they do to me. I'm an atheist already but if I wasn't then this post/these comments would have me running towards atheism.

[clone]

I suppose that if you are wallowing in fundie Koolaid then Sunshine Mary's post and the accompanying comments might not sound as horrific as they do to me. I'm an atheist already but if I wasn't then this post/these comments would have me running towards atheism.

Even back when I was a young girl and still considered myself a Christian, these posts (and I morbidly went back and read through most of her topics) and comments would have disturbed and angered me. The revulsion and pity this would have then, and does now, engender in me is beyond words. I know all kinds of misogyny exists. It's not a revelation, but every so often you hit a pocket of rot that just makes you recoil. One of the men replying to her in some of the posts--TheShadowedKnight--I think, he's just so incredibly deluded and hateful. His perception of the world is so twisted. He's built up such a fantasy to which he clings desperately in what I assume is an attempt to assuage his own embarrassment and failures of existence, that you know he could never be reached, never ever think outside of his made up reality. And these woman talking about themselves and their own daughters this way. It's beyond depressing.

Thank you, mom. You were a devout Christian, raised in a fundamentalist church, but you called me your little feminist, and you were proud of my independence, and you always encouraged me to think and do as I wanted. Thank you.

[idonthaveajname]

I'm still stuck on poor Lisa from Vermont who wasn't ALLOWED to buy something with her own money that she earned. Every day I am more and more amazed at how many people like this exist and put up with this horseshit.

[bluelady]

Ooops...posted on the wrong thread!!!

:embarrassed: :embarrassed:

[Rescinded and Mended]

I hope Lisa from Vermont barbecues her husband's detached testicles with a wee bit of Gorgonzola and mascarpone sauce :lol:

Can I get a recipe for that which doesn't involve detached testicles? :lol:

Bend over and fill up her "love tank?" Now there's a euphemism for it I've never heard before.

I continue to be baffled by the idea that fundie, patriarchal men see themselves as masters of the universe, and yet expect to blame women for their shortcomings and be coddled like toddlers when they do fail. :shrug:

[Arete]

Bend over and fill her love tank?! :o You just can't make this shit up. Gawd these fundie women are so fucking creepy.

[Peppercorn]

Thank you, mom. You were a devout Christian, raised in a fundamentalist church, but you called me your little feminist, and you were proud of my independence, and you always encouraged me to think and do as I wanted. Thank you.

This is really nice. Made me smile, which was quite a feat considering the topic. For that, I need a vomit smilie. A vomilie?

[Loveday]

This is really nice. Made me smile, which was quite a feat considering the topic. For that, I need a vomit smilie. A vomilie?

Here ya go!

:lol:

[Angharad Crewe]

One of SSM's groupies (I think her name was Hannah) made some really disturbing comments about making her daughter's submit to their brothers. Seems like a red flag for raising entitled, spoiled and abusive sons along with daughters prone to being abused.

And SSM's comment about bending over to have her love tank filled? Yeesh. Can she make it any more obvious that she gets off on being treated like dirt and talking about it on the internet?

[GiGi_41]

Bend over and fill her love tank?! :o You just can't make this shit up. Gawd these fundie women are so fucking creepy.

See you guys went to sex...I went to spanking!

[DistantStar]

Why not both?

[NoneandDoneinCali]

I'm going to have to incorporate "I'll fill YOUR love tank!!" into my regular rotation of slang, as both an insult to friends AND a come-on to my boyfriend during sexty conversations (well, I'll invite him to fill MY love tank).

Yeah, yeah. TMI.

[martian]

See you guys went to sex...I went to spanking!

Me, too. If it's sex used to chastise... well, I've thought before that some of these women were masochists in search of a sadist, but this seems especially overt. Nothing wrong with kink if that's your bag, but these people don't even know they're kinky.

Wild that a woman who with a cheerful countenance accepts her headship doling out a crummy twenty every week (out of money she makes herself to boot?) can still manage to fail the test of true wifely submission. That's what's really going to do this movement in, I think - the purity tests. There's a viperish competitiveness in the fundie culture and they will eat their own with relish.