GOMI on Lazy Lyndsie's friend Ashley Lancaster

[Milly-Molly-Mandy]

I don't think she likes her son that much. I think her making the son stay in his crib during the afternoons is a bit crazy. One thing I can say is that Ashley pretty much confirmed that isn't likely they will be adopting or having more kids. She is one of the fundie lite types who aren't into huge families.

I thought she just said no to adopting again? Can you direct me to the post? Thanks :)

Ugh Ashley Lancaster is annoying & stupid & for some reason I really dislike her. Have never felt this strongly about any other blogger!

[Black Aliss]

Just a fun hobby thing maybe as the OP said. I'd be horrified if I was related to English Royalty :lol:

Especially Richard III! Not exactly the finest specimen of humanity.

[LilMissMetaphor]

Ashley seems really simple sometimes. Not in a good way. A lot like Raquel and her bucket list. You can't even snark on these ones, they're so bad.

For Me:

Use a library card at least two times.

For My Mind:

Read at least 5 chapters from my housekeeping manual.

For My Soul

Spend a day shopping with my mom.

For Others

Leave a "Jesus tip" at a restaurant 3 times.

ETA: at least the Jesus tip was actual money and not a pamphlet or something. Still, what's with the random three times?

http://www.ourhappilyeverafters.com/201 ... oject.html

[lilwriter85]

I thought she just said no to adopting again? Can you direct me to the post? Thanks :)

Ugh Ashley Lancaster is annoying & stupid & for some reason I really dislike her. Have never felt this strongly about any other blogger!

She did say no to adopting again. But somewhere else she mentioned something about being done at 3. I don't like Ashley that much, but I have to give her credit for not setting herself up to be another Michelle Duggar.

[lilwriter85]

Ashely again mentions how her son spends three hours in crib or bed in the afternoons.

ourhappilyeverafters.com/2013/09/ask-ashley-part-7-routines-and-such.html

Ask Ashley Part 7 - Routines and Such

I got a lot of questions about our schedule and routine. Here are some of the questions (they were all about the same but they were all worded differently):

What does a typical day look like in your house? What is your schedule or routine?

How do you keep up with housework? Do you have a routine? A cleaning lady? :) I love to know how other moms "make it work"!

I would love to know your cleaning routine and how you keep up with it? I have 3 young children as well and although I'm always cleaning up I feel like I never get a chance (or the energy) to deep clean (scrub toilets and tubs, etc.)

What is your typical cleaning routine and grocery shopping routine?

I'd also love to know your meal planning and cooking routine! That's another area I struggle with and since we are in the same stage of life (3 young kids at home) I'd love to know what you do!

These are kind of all-encompassing questions, but generally speaking, I'm not a die-hard "routine" person. I am the first person to admit that I struggle with the discipline of staying committed to a rigid schedule. Our routines are so basic and simple, but I'll share what we do!

In a typical day, we're home. I've said it before, and I'll say it again - I thrive when I'm at home. I KNOW some people aren't wired this way and they have to get out of the house or they go crazy, but I've never been this way. My mom was/is the same way. I grew up just being at home most days and playing, reading, doing occasional errands, but mostly just being at home with Mom. So that was definitely an influence, but I'm just wired this way too. I'll talk more below about what we kind of do in a day, but for the most part (especially since Lynley has been born), we're just spending time here, which is so much easier with Lynley's little routine.

Usually Lynley wakes up once in the early morning to nurse, and then she goes back to sleep. The older two and I usually get up around 9 and eat breakfast. The kids like to have cereal and watch a little show while they "wake up." Thankfully Lynley is usually still sleeping while I'm getting them settled. Lynley wakes up around 10, and I nurse her and we all play. Sometimes the TV is on with a show like the Duggars (because it's wholesome and I just love it) or Lawrence Welk (I grew up with it and my kids actually really love the music and dancing), but we're playing and not really "watching." We read books, do puzzles, and lately the kids have been into building forts and playing with trains. I have found that fort building kills a lot of time! :) Sometimes for a change of scenery we'll go to the basement and use the little bouncy house we have. Other times we might go for a drive. Lynley stays awake for about 1.5 hours before she is ready to nap again, so I put her in her swing for a nap and we usually do more of the same. We also straighten our rooms and I'll sometimes work with Evy on making her bed.

Sometimes when Lynley is napping I'll let the kids have "iPad" time while I grab a shower (but usually I shower at night once the kids are all in bed). They usually get about an hour of iPad time a day (split up) and I'm sure we have the TV on more than we should, but every day is so, so different - I don't even keep track religiously of how much time we spend doing anything. Sometimes I'll put on a musical while I fold laundry and the kids will watch in spurts and then go play in the playroom.

The kids have rest time every afternoon starting between 2-2:30. Liam stays in his bed until around 5 because he plays for awhile and then falls asleep. Evy is usually in her room from 2:30-4. I mentioned this earlier, but she has really grown to love the time alone in her room. She is SO CREATIVE during that time and it's so cute! Lynley usually is sleeping for part of nap time (if I'm fortunate), so I might have about 30-45 minutes when they're ALL in their rooms at the same time. That's usually when I eat a quick lunch and watch a DVR'd show. I'm currently about to start a new Beth Moore study on my own, so I'll be doing my Bible study time while the kids are all down. Nap time is just kind of hodgepodge for me, but I usually make it a priority to spend at least part of it doing "nothing" and letting my mind rest.

Kurt's schedule is different every single day, so I never know when he'll be home. He usually can give me a window of time, but nothing is ever for sure. It's all depends on where he is in the rotation, based on who's on call that night, etc. So every day is very different! He usually on average gets home mid to late afternoon and will mow the yard, nap (he's usually still very tired from a previous 24-hour call night or an intense day), or go for a run. At 5:00, he's back from whatever he was doing and he gets Liam up from his nap (I'm usually nursing Lynley around this time and Evy is playing). Obviously if he is on call, he has to be at the hospital, so I do the whole 24 hours alone. :) We usually eat dinner with my parents on call nights (which usually fall 2-4 times a month). A lot of times I'll have my mom help me get the kids in bed when Kurt is gone, just so I have an extra pair of hands to hold Lynley.

So in the evenings we usually have dinner (I'll talk more about that in a minute), then play for awhile. In the spring and fall (and if the summer is mild), Kurt will sometimes take the older two to a playground while I clean up from dinner and straighten the house (if I'm not feeding/holding/taking care of Lynley). It will be nice once we're at the new house because they'll just be able to hop outside and play there! On the nights we take baths, we do that around 8:00 and then we do family Bible time. Right now we're reading the Jesus Storybook Bible, working on a memory verse, and singing a couple of songs. We aim to have the kids in bed by 8:45. Lynley has been nursing anywhere from 7:30-8:30 and then goes down to bed between 9-9:30 (it's been fairly predictable lately, which has been so nice!).

Once the kids are down, it just really varies. Kurt will usually go to the basement and work on his lesson (either for Lifegroup, an apologetics class he teaches, or both). I immediately straighten the living room and kitchen, just so it's kind of ready to go for the next day. I watch TV while I fold laundry, finish loading the dishwasher, work on emails, or blog. If we have a women's ministry event coming up, I usually work on this really hard at night. I try to get ahead and think through what's coming up and if I need to prepare for anything we're doing (for instance, if we have a trip coming up, I'll work on packing lists, research, confirm our travel plans, etc.). I like to say I have about 5 things going on at once from the hours of 9pm-midnight! Around 11pm or so, I try to stop and either get in bed to look at Pinterest or read. I always end up staying up too late, but I am such a night owl. :)

As far as cleaning, I do have a wonderful cleaning lady who helps with my cleaning. Kurt and I talked about this at length, and we budget accordingly to make it happen. I want to be honest and say that I feel very nervous and vulnerable sharing this, because I just never know how something is going to be received and everyone has opinions. However, it would be dishonest and misleading if I tried to paint the picture that I do every single thing in my house by myself and am able to "do it all." That's not true, and I don't want to give off this image that I'm doing more than I am. Every family has to make decisions that help them function the best they possibly can, and this is what works for us. Some families choose to hire a regular babysitter, or their kids are in Mother's Day Out, or they hire a lawn guy to do the mowing/landscaping, etc. We don't do those things, so this is a service we've chosen to allot some of our budget to. This is a choice we've made that has worked very well for us. I keep up with the laundry, straightening, etc. in between the days my cleaning lady comes. As a side note, she has become a dear, dear friend and we love her SO much!

As far as meal planning, I don't really do it. Ha! No, I have a system that works, but it's not traditional meal planning. I just go through cookbooks and my tried and true recipes and write out about 7-10 meals that sound good. Then I go look in the pantry and see what I already have and make a grocery list of what I need. I only go to the grocery store about once every three weeks to get pantry staples, ingredients I need, etc. Kurt works near our local Sam's and the other grocery stores are on his way home, so about once a week when he gets off work early, he'll stop by and get our fresh produce, vegetables, milk, bread, etc. So we split it up. :) When it's time to figure out what's for dinner, I just look at the list I made of the 7-10 meals and pick what sounds good. I know I have the ingredients on hand to make anything on that list, so it gives more freedom in choosing what sounds good that night. And like I said before, Kurt's work is unpredictable so it's hard to make a hard and fast meal schedule for each night of the week. We eat out every Sunday after church and sometimes after church on Sunday nights (a lot of times we go to my parents' house). We eat out usually for one other meal during the week (usually dinner). It works for us!

[formergothardite]

Maybe instead of spending money on a maid, it would be a better investment to have a mother's helper so she won't shut her kids in their rooms for hours at a time.

[Feberin]

I'm curious what the sleep/play ratio is with Liam. My daughter currently spends most of the afternoon napping (2-3+ hours) but she spends almost that entire time actually napping. She might play for a little while but it's like five minutes then she's out for the rest of the afternoon. The fact that she says he plays for awhile worries me that she means there is more playing then sleeping.

Personally I couldn't manage to live like her. I stay at home with my kids but we leave the house almost every single day. I hate spending more then one or two days at home a week. Does the occasional errand include storytimes? Trips to the zoo? Seasonal activities like swimming, fruit picking or visiting a train garden? I would find it very difficult to teach my kids about the world around them if we never left the house. Please tell me she isn't planning on homeschooling!

[lilwriter85]

I'm curious what the sleep/play ratio is with Liam. My daughter currently spends most of the afternoon napping (2-3+ hours) but she spends almost that entire time actually napping. She might play for a little while but it's like five minutes then she's out for the rest of the afternoon. The fact that she says he plays for awhile worries me that she means there is more playing then sleeping.

Personally I couldn't manage to live like her. I stay at home with my kids but we leave the house almost every single day. I hate spending more then one or two days at home a week. Does the occasional errand include storytimes? Trips to the zoo? Seasonal activities like swimming, fruit picking or visiting a train garden? I would find it very difficult to teach my kids about the world around them if we never left the house. Please tell me she isn't planning on homeschooling!

She is planning to homeschool.

[Milly-Molly-Mandy]

Yes crazily she is playing on homeschooling! Her day sounds so boring and really the two kids are watching so much tv that can't be healthy

I really don't think it should be lazy Lyndsey but lazy Ashley. Or arrogant lazy Ashley?

[Feberin]

She is planning to homeschool.

Oh no! Why isn't there a school time in her day then? Her oldest looks to be old enough for preschool. I'm not planning on homeschooling but we chose a not very academic preschool (which I love since it's a very active preschool for my active son) so I spend some time while my daughter is napping each day doing "school time" with him. It's just a few activities mostly found on pinterest we spend maybe half an hour on it. Sometimes more if he wants since we do a lot of opened ended stuff like sensory bins. On the rare occasion that my daughter doesn't nap or takes a very short nap we try to include her in our activities. I feel like a lot of homeschooling mothers can't wait for their eldest to start real school and start doing homeschool activities very young (Anna Duggar is one example).

Are they part of any groups (homeschooling or general play groups)? I guess my problem is that what I love most about being at home with my kids is all the experiences we're able to share together like randomly going to the zoo or apple picking or getting together with friends. I suppose the flipside is that my daughter (I worked when my son was little) didn't get put onto a schedule until she was nearly a year old and even now I totally skip her afternoon nap if we're doing something very fun. I can't understand wanting to homeschool if you aren't interested in enriching your preschoolers days.

[Milly-Molly-Mandy]

But ya'll...John & Kate plus 8 changes your life! TV is better than homeschool.

I don't think she will last homeschooling.

Or she will outsource it to a computer program.

Ashley Lancaster is the definition of a slack mother.

[lilwriter85]

Yes crazily she is playing on homeschooling! Her day sounds so boring and really the two kids are watching so much tv that can't be healthy

I really don't think it should be lazy Lyndsey but lazy Ashley. Or arrogant lazy Ashley?

I would go with arrogant lazy Ashley. I wasn't a big fan of Lyndsie, but Ashley seems worse. Ashley gives off more of the annoying trophy wife vibe than Lyndsie did. Lyndsie doesn't have a weird annoying attitude about certain things like Ashely does. In addition to the monogramming of everything, Ashely comes off as pretty stupid when she talks about celebrating Jewish holidays and how she feels like she is British. The obsevance of Jewish holidays has to do in large part with Ashley's grandfather who is/was a pastor who promoted Christians observing Jewish holidays. IIRC, the Duggars are fans of her grandfather.

[lilwriter85]

Oh no! Why isn't there a school time in her day then? Her oldest looks to be old enough for preschool. I'm not planning on homeschooling but we chose a not very academic preschool (which I love since it's a very active preschool for my active son) so I spend some time while my daughter is napping each day doing "school time" with him. It's just a few activities mostly found on pinterest we spend maybe half an hour on it. Sometimes more if he wants since we do a lot of opened ended stuff like sensory bins. On the rare occasion that my daughter doesn't nap or takes a very short nap we try to include her in our activities. I feel like a lot of homeschooling mothers can't wait for their eldest to start real school and start doing homeschool activities very young (Anna Duggar is one example).

Are they part of any groups (homeschooling or general play groups)? I guess my problem is that what I love most about being at home with my kids is all the experiences we're able to share together like randomly going to the zoo or apple picking or getting together with friends. I suppose the flipside is that my daughter (I worked when my son was little) didn't get put onto a schedule until she was nearly a year old and even now I totally skip her afternoon nap if we're doing something very fun. I can't understand wanting to homeschool if you aren't interested in enriching your preschoolers days.

She mentioned something in that July post about wanting to host more playdates since they are moving out to that house in the country. But I haven't seen a lot of posts about her kids playing with friends. It seems like they mostly associate with Ashley's family. I have to agree some of those GOMI posters, Ashley seems pretty obsessed with her dad.

[Hane]

[a bit OT] A friend of mine came from a family convinced that paying too much attention to littles would "spoil" them. I remember her mother holding my baby for a minute or two, then putting her down because she "didn't want to spoil her." My friend used to put her baby in her crib for hours at a time while doing housework. I used to wonder why she couldn't at least put the baby in a playpen nearby while she ironed or some such, and chat with her. The baby turned out to be a head-banger and crib-knocker, to the point that she'd shake the bolts loose from the crib. Fortunately, she grew up to be a well-adjusted and productive member of society.

[LilMissMetaphor]

This woman is so neurotic. How does Kurt stand her?

She is crying about how emotional she feels because they've moved. (They've MOVED. No one has died.) She cries because her baby hasn't gained weight in two months. Ok, although how much of an idiot do you have to be to not pick up on that sooner? She also cries because she hasn't updated us with the baby's 4-month post. :pink-shock: She cries because they are filming a movie in her town and she didn't get picked to be an extra!

Her phone transfer taking more time than expected was a "disaster".

First world problems, we have your cover story.

[lilwriter85]

This woman is so neurotic. How does Kurt stand her?

She is crying about how emotional she feels because they've moved. (They've MOVED. No one has died.) She cries because her baby hasn't gained weight in two months. Ok, although how much of an idiot do you have to be to not pick up on that sooner? She also cries because she hasn't updated us with the baby's 4-month post. :pink-shock: She cries because they are filming a movie in her town and she didn't get picked to be an extra!

Her phone transfer taking more time than expected was a "disaster".

First world problems, we have your cover story.

I just read that post was annoyed by it. I get the feeling that she isn't going to like living out in the country. The part about her not being picked to be a movie extra was annoying. I have never been an extra, but I know people who have been extras for tv shows and movies. They have said that it fun, but sometimes you don't see a lot and you can't approach actors.

[DarkAnts]

Forcing an child to spend hours awake in their bed is bad sleep hygiene. This could set the child up for years of insomnia.

[Milly-Molly-Mandy]

She wouldn't know a real problem if it bit her on the nose. Ashley just seems to have such a simplistic view of the world. I really felt sorry for the children, and even her husband. although he chose to marry her I doubt he really knew what she was like as it was so quick from meeting to marriage

The Lancaster family is really messed up. Our happily ever afters? Mmm not so much

[formergothardite]

I liken it to how I feel during after Thanksgiving sales. I get so overwhelmed knowing that there are lots great sales and there's no way I can manage it all.

:cray-cray: I am trying to understand where she is coming from but I just can't. How Kurt's parents kept from killing her when she, to begin with, didn't appear to pack anything until they showed up and made her, left during the middle of packing to go upgrade her phone, stayed gone for hours, and then walked in and sobbed hysterically because she hadn't done a blog post is beyond me. Someone needs to sit her down and have a "grow the fuck up the world does not revolve around you" talk.

Ashley, here is the world's tiniest violin playing for you and all your shallow first world problems. :violin:

[lilwriter85]

I can understand that mothers get frustrated or stressed at times, but with Ashley it is hard to sympathize with her because she doesn't help herself. I think she is spoiled quite a bit by her side of the family and expects Kurt's side to do the same. In that post about routines, she said that when Kurt is on call at the hospital for 24 hours, that her mom comes out and helps her because she likes having an extra pair of hands. I can see that she might need the extra help, but at the same time they are other women with small kids and infants who have husbands deployed or gone for days for business trips and they don't have extra help.

[acheronbeach]

Oh, joy... she has a COOKING BLOG called the "June Cleaver Cooking Club."

Sample LIFE CHANGING RECIPE below...

Frito Pie

Brown 1 pound of ground beef with one envelope of taco seasoning. Drain. Layer in small casserole dish:

Fritos

Meat

Cheddar cheese

Fritos

Bake at 350 for 15-20 minutes. This will change your life.

[nokidsmom]

See, this is what I find Really Weird.

My dad's been trying to research and we're working / lower middle class as far back as he can find and it peters out in seventeenth-century Warwickshire. When people say they're descended from Richard III (so jealous!) or Lady Godiva, or that they're Prince William's tenth cousin I just think "how the HELL can they know that?"

[all genuine examples from this forum]

There was a claim in my mom's family to be descended from the Swedish Royal family way somewhere in the 17th century (they actually put the Swedish king at the time in the family tree!) but my mom's been doing research since she retired some years ago and is getting to that part of the family and there's no sign of the ol' king.

I am sure there's plenty of people that are actually related to royalty in some way (and have proof) but there's a lot of claims that are probably just stories that got passed along the family generations just as it appears to have been in mine.

Now I have a coworker who claims to have traced his family all the way to 13th century (Europe) and that is where I really wonder how he could know that unless it's one sole person (he made it sound like more than one). And it would have to be an important person to make it into any record and, given frequent destruction from war, records from that far back may no longer exist in many case. So it strikes me as a long shot.

[Nothing2CHere]

Oh, joy... she has a COOKING BLOG called the "June Cleaver Cooking Club."

Sample LIFE CHANGING RECIPE below...

Will change my life? May end my life. Hello, high blood pressure and cholesterol! I just can't imagine June Cleaver making something like this. You know everything she made was from scratch.

[lilwriter85]

Everyone get ready for Ashley's 31 Days of British. I wonder if Ashely will talk about NHS.

[Milly-Molly-Mandy]

Everyone get ready for Ashley's 31 Days of British. I wonder if Ashely will talk about NHS.

Why? Is she anti Obamacare?