Terrible People on Mommy Boards

[August]

You do realize that stereotyping a group like sororities is just as obnoxious as the mothers on Urbanbaby who stereotype new money people right?

Have you ever watched rush or read "how to rush" guides? Or known sorority people? It's not a sterotype, they're self-sustaining cliques.

[yewchapel]

I just went to check a few sites out too. And: :o :shock: They make FJ look like a place where it rains cotton candy and everyone gets a free puppy/kitten to cuddle with, while we're singing kumbaya.

But that's why I like FJ - we take no shit (including racism etc) and sometimes heartily disagree with each other as well as fundies, but nobody is an out and out bitch to each other apart from trolls.

[yewchapel]

I was born via c-section, bottlefed, wore disposable nappies (diapers) and grew up in a terraced house in Coventry which is teeny tiny by US standards. My dad was an engineer for Peugeot and my mum worked at WH Smiths and then Boots, and I went to regular state schools. Clearly I am doomed :lol:

[Morton Fan]

I was born via c-section, bottlefed, wore disposable nappies (diapers) and grew up in a terraced house in Coventry which is teeny tiny by US standards. My dad was an engineer for Peugeot and my mum worked at WH Smiths and then Boots, and I went to regular state schools. Clearly I am doomed :lol:

You sound a lot like my children ... :)

[samurai_sarah]

But that's why I like FJ - we take no shit (including racism etc) and sometimes heartily disagree with each other as well as fundies, but nobody is an out and out bitch to each other apart from trolls.

ITA. My brief stint over there gave me flashbacks to being back in the playground. I much prefer our discussions here. :)

[crazyforkate]

Ha! Sounds like the first time I rocked up at a LLL meeting. Never again. "But why would you want to give birth in hospital?"........."were you very upset when your last baby self weaned at 13 months?" Er, no. I was fucking delighted.

OMG, that reminds me of my sister's current obsession. She's an all-natural lay midwife who would probably love Hellatrix and Curradong, and once tried to fix my heart defect with herbs. Her latest thing is "If you can't give birth at home, you shouldn't be giving birth at all." (This was in response to her daughter-in-law who "failed" by going to the hospital after sixteen hours with no progress at home, and to me for saying "No, you can't be my midwife one day because I have a heart defect and I'll need to be in a major medical centre with high-risk doctors.") So she goes around shaming all the mothers who don't live like her (she once told me her friend had a "tragedy" with a birth - turned out it was a perfectly ordinary C-Section with no complications), including vaccinating, allowing kids to have their wisdom teeth out (she gave my parents crap for that one), and feeding them a non-vegan diet. But yeah, if you get complications you didn't expect, or were born with certain conditions but are totally healthy others, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE BABIES EVAR. Bad mommy, allowing her body to be all deviant like that!

Why is motherhood so political? Are we some of the last people on earth who think that "anything goes" as long as the kid grows up healthy and a decent human being? Please, tell me there are a sizable number of us out there.

[LainieR]

I decided to say 'Fuck that shit' when I had wee one. I have no interest becoming friends with other mums simply on the basis that we're both on mat leave.

Mummy wars just smack of repressed group dynamics.

[lawfulevil]

Darn, I was hoping this thread would be about crazy people on mommy boards in general, from stuck up yuppies on UrbanBaby on down. Some of them are almost as good as a nice crazy fundie... I still mourn the loss of Emily and Dna.

BabyGaga has prime crazy, imo.

Gotta post a disclaimer first: Looking for honest opinions and general discussion with this, NOT drama. Please and Thanks!

Ah, where to begin... Well, I have a friend whom I have know since High school who I am kinda weary of because throughout the years she has grown more dramatic, she lies constantly over seemingly nothing and she is attached to a childhood friend of my fiance's, the two of them have been off and on for 5 years during which the guy (who is known as the sleezebag of the group) has cheated on her with two of her best friends and fathered their children, then left them while they were pregnant and denies their kids. One of the babys was stillborn at 5 months because the mother (I think purposely, she claims she did not know) did a lot of drugs and also drank 2 bottles of cough syrup on a daily basis, claiming she 'felt sick', in reality, she was pregnant. Anyway, the guy does nothing for himself, my friend drives him everywhere, supports him and her parents are still paying off a 32K debt she ran up after STEALING HER GRANDMOTHER's credit card and running up all sorts of bills, paying off his bail after he went to jail for meth and putting him up in a hotel and shit.

NO DRAMA!

[Savoring Samsara]

Why is motherhood so political? Are we some of the last people on earth who think that "anything goes" as long as the kid grows up healthy and a decent human being? Please, tell me there are a sizable number of us out there.

I think there are more of us like this than you might think. The nature of the internet is that the loudest and most extreme voices on any end of any spectrum will always get the most attention. Consider the often-pointed-out fact on this board that not all Christians are fundies - we just snark on and are amused by the really extreme ones because, frankly, there is not nearly as much in mainline Christianity that is snarkworthy and we'd run out of material way too fast. Just as it becomes easy to believe that all Christians are extreme fundies when that is what you are mostly exposed to, it becomes easy to believe that all parents are totally unreasonable, because there's a huge silent majority that's perhaps not doing enough to make evidence to the contrary obvious.

Now if you'll excuse me, this working, breastfeeding, part-time cloth diapering, occasionally co-sleeping, c-section-having mama has to go stop her toddler from knocking over a lamp :D

[dpndetfarm]

I am so thankful that the interwebs were born about the same time as my kids were. The only moms I conversed with were the ones on our road. Amazing!

[Jinger Jar]

For anyone with a spare 10 minutes, check out the parenting forums on Catholic Answers. Racism (The teachers at our parish preschool talk ghetto. Who do I complain to?), sexism (Should we forbid our daughter from playing sports?), abuse (We're tired of spanking our six-year-old autistic son for soiling himself. Anyone have other suggestions?), an utter lack of understanding of adolescent development (I don't care how heartbroken my 16-year-old is. Kids that age don't have real emotions anyhow.), to questionable theology (I turn a quiet corner of our playroom into a confessional so my kids can tell me their sins and be forgiven like Christ forgives us.) to general squickiness (Should I watch my son to make sure he doesn't masturbate in the bathroom? and We've already told our kids that getting an education isn't important. Getting to heaven is.)

And if that doesn't dampen your hope for us as a society, Google some step-parenting forums. :shock: Were I contemplating a relationship with someone who thought of my children as "her little fucking assholes," I wouldn't be able to run away quickly enough.

[Burris]

Darn, I was hoping this thread would be about crazy people on mommy boards in general, from stuck up yuppies on UrbanBaby on down. Some of them are almost as good as a nice crazy fundie... I still mourn the loss of Emily and Dna.

BabyGaga has prime crazy, imo.

NO DRAMA!

'...and then it turns out the mother of the stillborn child wasn't taking drugs. That was actually her evil twin, who pretended to pregnancy so she could impersonate her sister and thereby ruin her reputation.

'Anyway, back to my friend: She's a liar who dates my other friend, the sleazebag with 15 illegitimate kids, one of whom was stolen from a neighborhood playground by a giant eagle who had been trained from birth by the aforementioned evil twin to kidnap specific kids who are then sold on the internet.

'Now, here's my question: When I scramble eggs, should I put milk in or not?'

[gardenvarietycitizen]

'...and then it turns out the mother of the stillborn child wasn't taking drugs. That was actually her evil twin, who pretended to pregnancy so she could impersonate her sister and thereby ruin her reputation.

'Anyway, back to my friend: She's a liar who dates my other friend, the sleazebag with 15 illegitimate kids, one of whom was stolen from a neighborhood playground by a giant eagle who had been trained from birth by the aforementioned evil twin to kidnap specific kids who are then sold on the internet.

'Now, here's my question: When I scramble eggs, should I put milk in or not?'

'Breast milk or go home!!!1!!1"

[mypsychoticself]

And if that doesn't dampen your hope for us as a society, Google some step-parenting forums. :shock: Were I contemplating a relationship with someone who thought of my children as "her little fucking assholes," I wouldn't be able to run away quickly enough.

I think I could be more forgiving of the step-parents. Parenting is stressful enough; I'd bet it's especially stressful for step-parents. They also may not have a lot of people to talk to about it, so calling the kids names online may just be a form of catharsis. Of course, I'm assuming that these step-parents aren't expressing these feelings to the kids themselves.

As for the parents spanking their autistic kid, there are no words. I've tried multiple times to describe how angry that makes me, and I just can't. :evil:

[lawfulevil]

'...and then it turns out the mother of the stillborn child wasn't taking drugs. That was actually her evil twin, who pretended to pregnancy so she could impersonate her sister and thereby ruin her reputation.

'Anyway, back to my friend: She's a liar who dates my other friend, the sleazebag with 15 illegitimate kids, one of whom was stolen from a neighborhood playground by a giant eagle who had been trained from birth by the aforementioned evil twin to kidnap specific kids who are then sold on the internet.

'Now, here's my question: When I scramble eggs, should I put milk in or not?'

...slow, awed applause.

[JesusFightClub]

I think I could be more forgiving of the step-parents. Parenting is stressful enough; I'd bet it's especially stressful for step-parents. They also may not have a lot of people to talk to about it, so calling the kids names online may just be a form of catharsis. Of course, I'm assuming that these step-parents aren't expressing these feelings to the kids themselves.

Yeah, this. I know a stepmum who faces just this trouble - she's tried hard and harder still to like little Daisy but like cometh there none. Considering you fall in love with the bloke (or woman) likely before you meet attached child(ren), it's not really weird that in some cases there's just no attachment, and the step just has to do the best he or she can. And if that involves letting off steam elsewhere (not to their faces) I totally agree with you that they deserve a fair bit more forgiveness.

[Jinger Jar]

I think I could be more forgiving of the step-parents. Parenting is stressful enough; I'd bet it's especially stressful for step-parents. They also may not have a lot of people to talk to about it, so calling the kids names online may just be a form of catharsis. Of course, I'm assuming that these step-parents aren't expressing these feelings to the kids themselves.

Step-parenting is really hard and stressful for a lot of reasons. Some of the stressors are unique to stepparents, such as dealing with "the other" biological parent, but honestly 90% of it is just plain ol' parenting stuff. No online community would or should give a pass to a parent who called their biological kid names (and if there are such communities, I sooooooo don't want to know about them); stepparents should be held to the same standards of behavior. I get discouraged when step-parenting forums don't because this perpetuates the stereotype of the unwilling, angry, resentful, mean step-mother or step-father.

[Savoring Samsara]

For anyone with a spare 10 minutes, check out the parenting forums on Catholic Answers. Racism (The teachers at our parish preschool talk ghetto. Who do I complain to?), sexism (Should we forbid our daughter from playing sports?), abuse (We're tired of spanking our six-year-old autistic son for soiling himself. Anyone have other suggestions?), an utter lack of understanding of adolescent development (I don't care how heartbroken my 16-year-old is. Kids that age don't have real emotions anyhow.), to questionable theology (I turn a quiet corner of our playroom into a confessional so my kids can tell me their sins and be forgiven like Christ forgives us.) to general squickiness (Should I watch my son to make sure he doesn't masturbate in the bathroom? and We've already told our kids that getting an education isn't important. Getting to heaven is.).

Just went there, and saw a thread that can be summarized as: "My adult daughter, after extensive contemplation and study, has chosen to convert to the Presbyterian Church, which is the religion of her fiancé. He and his family are all wonderful people. They are getting married in the Presbyterian Church soon. How can I convince my daughter that she is, in fact, going to hell? Should my wife and I still attend the wedding?"

Other posters at least told him that he should still attend, but... :o Made me REALLY glad that my in-laws, while extremely Catholic, are not quite that Catholic.

[edit for grammar. also quote is not edit. sorry]

[yetanothermeg]

Ok, you have to check out YouBeMom. It was started by people that were kicked off Urban Baby. YouBe = UB. Anyway, its completely anonymous, real time chat. The Toddler forum is where its at. Its not about Toddlers. People talk about everything. The Cleveland forum used to be for people looking for affairs, but I think that got shut down due to complaints. I think Pittsburgh was for casual sex, can't remember now. Lots of mommy war stuff, classist shit, but also lots of really helpful information, about anything really. If I need an answer to almost anything I can go there, ask the question and someone will have an answer. Oh also, many of the old timers claimed to have shagged Tom Brokaw back in the day. All the snooty school/nanny stuff is really NYC specific and the board is most active during NYC awake times. So if you live on the other side of the country/world, there might not be a lot going on when you check it out.

[lilwriter85]

For anyone with a spare 10 minutes, check out the parenting forums on Catholic Answers. Racism (The teachers at our parish preschool talk ghetto. Who do I complain to?), sexism (Should we forbid our daughter from playing sports?), abuse (We're tired of spanking our six-year-old autistic son for soiling himself. Anyone have other suggestions?), an utter lack of understanding of adolescent development (I don't care how heartbroken my 16-year-old is. Kids that age don't have real emotions anyhow.), to questionable theology (I turn a quiet corner of our playroom into a confessional so my kids can tell me their sins and be forgiven like Christ forgives us.) to general squickiness (Should I watch my son to make sure he doesn't masturbate in the bathroom? and We've already told our kids that getting an education isn't important. Getting to heaven is.)

And if that doesn't dampen your hope for us as a society, Google some step-parenting forums. :shock: Were I contemplating a relationship with someone who thought of my children as "her little fucking assholes," I wouldn't be able to run away quickly enough.

I lurked on Catholic Answers quite a bit back when I was still Catholic. I remember those parenting forums there. I occasionally lurk on CA and I recently checked out an old thread there and saw that several members had been banned. I think CA occasionally cleans house when members gets too extreme.

[yetanothermeg]

I also found a really long quiverfull thread on Diaperswappers awhile back.

[nelliebelle1197]

I just went to check a few sites out too. And: :o :shock: They make FJ look like a place where it rains cotton candy and everyone gets a free puppy/kitten to cuddle with, while we're singing kumbaya.

You mean we don't? I was promised cotton candy!

[tankgirl]

I also found a really long quiverfull thread on Diaperswappers awhile back.

Diaperswappers seems to have a lot of quiverful mums, and lots of posts on the subject. One lady is also insanely pro Babywise and supposedly is in tight with them, but nothing beats the crazy of a mum who claimed a demon attacked her baby. That place gets some fundie crazy for sure.

[Rachel333]

Just read that Buzzfeed post. Holy shit. :shock: I am so grateful I don't know any of that sort of people.

[MandyLaLa]

Have you ever watched rush or read "how to rush" guides? Or known sorority people? It's not a sterotype, they're self-sustaining cliques.

I'm actually a sorority member, so instead of going off of stereotypes, postings on the Internet and random TV shows portraying Greek life I actually know what I'm talking about.