God Will Provide For Your Babies

[Dysfundamental]

Um what. I'm not 39 but I would like to know when I should be having babies and how providey God gets for women who

a. live in one bedroom flats and can't afford anything bigger as in EVER

b. don't have a male headship so would presumably be fucking guys randomly in club toilets to get da preshuss baybee or flinging themselves at any guy of marriageable age in sight, thus rendering themselves defrauding and immodest (and probably practicing harlotry)

c. have had addiction issues in the past

d. are a bit mental

e. are living off their overdrafts

f. would have to quit work if WILD BAYBEE APPEARED therefore becoming evil, government sponging dole mooching feminist whores

g. are universally acknowledged by all friends and family to have no maternal instinct

h. are happily occupied being the Best Auntie Ever (perhaps I am projecting? But that was certainly part of why my quiver was full at zero; I had given away so many pieces of my heart to godchildren and nephew)

[Caribou]

I think Lori's post exemplifies the emptiness, sadness and unfulfillment of the average quiver full woman. The ONLY thing that gives them some degree of happiness and a sliver of self-worth is procreation. They have no identity outside of pregnancy and motherhood.

I was an empty nester at 44 when our youngest left for university. Sure it was bitter sweet to see her go but that was what we always hoped for her and our son while we were raising them - to give them the tools and ambition to strike out on their on, on their own paths and to find their own ways in this world.

I was basically a stay at home mother who just worked 5 hours a day when the kids were in school. At 45 I retired completely. However, I'm not sitting at home pining about my absent babies and wishing menopause could be put off indefinitely. In fact, having the kids gone and knowing that this old body can never get pregnant again is incredibly freeing for me! I have loads of time for my hobbies and I volunteer several times a week. We're in the process of building a new home and, since my husband is still working, I'm the one meeting with architects and contractors and making decisions about plumbing and siding and roofing. My husband and I can take off on a whim and travel.

And that's the other thing about so many of these women in the patriarchal system that actually makes me feel a degree of pity for them. Once the kids are gone and their husbands retire, what sort of relationships do they have with each other? My husband and I have been married for 30 years come this spring. He's my best friend and our marriage has been based on love, trust and mutual respect and is a partnership, not a dictatorship. Even after all this time together we can spend hours talking about different issues and we truly enjoy each other's company. I can't wait until he retires in the next couple of years. Women like Lori, what do they do? Their educations and general knowledge of the outside world are so limited, they don't read books or watch movies so what do they talk to their spouses about? By this time in their lives, they must know the bible inside and out so that would get real old, real fast.

I can't imagine the senior years of a quiverfull woman are filled with happiness and excitement and continued exploration of our world.

[ILoveJellybeans]

I think shes feeling this way because her life has been all about having babies for as long as she can remember, like that she thinks the only purpose in life for a woman is to look after children, so now she doesnt know what to do now there are no children to take care of. She doesnt have any hobbies or interests other than being a godly helpmeet, cant get a job, cant watch movies, read books or listen to music as its all innapropriate, her husband is more like her boss than her friend so she cant spend time with him doing things they both enjoy...

[Fargood]

I think Lori's post exemplifies the emptiness, sadness and unfulfillment of the average quiver full woman. The ONLY thing that gives them some degree of happiness and a sliver of self-worth is procreation. They have no identity outside of pregnancy and motherhood.

This is a really good perspective and makes a lot of sense. If a quiverfull woman's only glimmer of happiness is (allegedly) in her children, then most quiverfull women would conclude, "if I'm unhappy and I have all the ingredients to happiness, these women without children and headships and the LORD must be miserable."

It's sad, because then when they try to voice their unhappiness, the party line typically is, "you're not submitting/praying/love the Lord enough and it's your own fault you're miserable."

[hapamama]

If there are any lies, it's that birth control is infallible and that you can have babies in your 40's.

It's not a complete lie that you can have babies in your 40's. It's less likely, but not a lie. My paternal grandmother did all her childbearing in her 30s and 40s. She had her youngest when she was 43, and this was back in the 1950s...

[Drina Adams]

A friend of my grandmother had her last baby (conceived naturally) in the catholic Ireland of the 1960s at 47. Its less likely and more risky but not impossible. One of my husband's friend's mother was in her late 40s having him - he has a nephew older than him. Long families are common in some cultures.

[Jana814]

This is very true that large families are common in some cultures. There was just a VERY sad story in the NY area. A Hassidic Jewish couple were killed in a car accident (they might not have been wearing seatbelts) they were both 21. She was pregnant & the baby also died. I saw her brother on TV he looked like he was in his 40's the husband's Mother just had another baby 2 weeks ago. It's very common even in today's world to have large age spans for religious Jewish families.

[AuntCloud]

You are all using valid, logical and consistent arguments. You try to make a point of preserving women's freedom, physical and mental health. Alas, I'm afraid this just doesn't register with Lori and her ilk. Fundamentalism should have a disclaimer: "abandon all logical thinking, ye who come here". Case in point: absolutely-not-gay-Greg and his magic baby.

Couples and women who are gullible enough to think Lori has their best interest at heart - please reconsider. I'm reading the (Hebrew) blog of a former Orthodox woman who left the fold. At some point she just told herself - I deserve to be happy, I deserve to be with a man who respects and loves me, I deserve to have a chance to do the things I love (in her case, riding motorcycles and watching movies). I hope at least one of Lori's consultee's will realize that this crazy lady's advice is a crock of bull and she should do an about-face and find someone else to emulate.

[patsymae]

Plenty of women had babies after 40 back before medical intervention--they are "change of life" babies and my Irish Catholic family is full of them--kids born 17-20 years after the first crop. My aunt got pregnant at 48 back in the 60s--her other kids were grown. My stepfather has a brother 17 years younger than him. Surprises, all.

Anyway, Lori is just sickening on so many levels. Wonder if she ever heard of Andrea Yates.

[GolightlyGrrl]

More of the God will provide BS. Damn, this fundies see God as an ATM, don't they?

[Jinger Jar]

More of the God will provide BS. Damn, this fundies see God as an ATM, don't they?

or a magic vending machine

[lilwriter85]

Interesting, one of Lori's commenters questions affording a large family and Lori gives stupid answers and cite Bible verses which have no relevance to today's world.

Shelley · 6 hours ago

I'm torn about this post. On one hand I agree with it and would love to have more children (I'm 25 and have 3 kids, ages 5, 4 and 7 months) but my husband is afraid we can't afford them. I'm not 100% sure it has to do with trust in God. He promises to keep our souls, he gives us the Holy Spirit when we trust in Him so that we are his forever, but he doesn't really promise to always provide for us monetarily and keep us from starvation. There are many starving, suffering Christians in the world. God also gives us wisdom and tells us to lay up an inheritance for your children's children, which tells me we're supposed to be wise about money and not live beyond our means and having more children would cause us to have to have help from the government like most other people (we currently don't use any government assistance at all).

So... I get it... but... my husband makes sense too..

Lori Alexander · 6 hours ago

I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread. Psalm 37:25

If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?'For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:30-33

God is a promise keeper! We can trust Him who owns the cattle on a thousand hills to provide for us and the children He blesses us with. Don't look at the world around you, look to God and His promises and believe them.

Shelley · 5 hours ago

I'm not trying to be argumentative, I would LIKE to understand your point of view, but why not look at the world around me? You can't say people who love God have never died of starvation. Did they just not trust enough? Believe enough? Something they didn't quite do right?

I don't now how someone could knowingly have more children that they couldn't provide for, more children to go on welfare ect and because of your political posts I know you don't see that as a good thing.

Lori Alexander · 5 hours ago

Simple. I believe God and His many promises to provide for us. I will always look to God and His promises rather than look at the world around me. What about those verses I quoted? Do you not believe them to be true? Do you not believe God when He promises to provide for you? I much prefer to believe Him than worry about what may happen in the future for He tells me to be anxious for nothing. It is a much better way to live.

[sugarloaf]

So, basically, whatever happens, happens, and you should behave recklessly with your body and ability to provide for your current children because Bible Bible Bible? And if you take in any evidence around you, you're a bad Christian?

Ugh, it makes me sick.

[shrewlu]

I'll have an empty nest when I'm 40 and I can't wait! I love being a mom, but it will be nice to be able to have a life again. I've never understood the judging of people who don't have children, whether it is because they can't have them or because they don't want them. Seriously, everyone should make the right choice for them and that is why people like Lori piss me off. Something seems to be working for her, yay. But that doesn't mean it is right for everyone.

[lilwriter85]

So, basically, whatever happens, happens, and you should behave recklessly with your body and ability to provide for your current children because Bible Bible Bible? And if you take in any evidence around you, you're a bad Christian?

Ugh, it makes me sick.

It also made me sick. Lori quoting Bible verses on God providing shows that she really doesn't know how to give financial advice in regards to a large family. I don't think Lori has ever faced any major financial struggles. I wonder what she would have done if Ken had died before all of her kids reached adulthood.

[GeoBQn]

Lori Alexander · 6 hours ago

I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread. Psalm 37:25

Lori Alexander · 5 hours ago

Simple. I believe God and His many promises to provide for us. I will always look to God and His promises rather than look at the world around me. What about those verses I quoted? Do you not believe them to be true? Do you not believe God when He promises to provide for you? I much prefer to believe Him than worry about what may happen in the future for He tells me to be anxious for nothing. It is a much better way to live.

This psalm is included in the Birkat Ha-Mazon, the Jewish prayer said as grace after meals. Ever since the Holocaust--a time when righteous people and children were left forsaken and without food--some communities have a tradition of saying this line in a hushed voice because it is something we hope for, NOT something that has actually happened yet. We have learned to reconcile, question, and even argue with the promises in our sacred texts that don't match observable reality. Lori clearly hasn't.

And as a side note, I REALLY hope Lori never writes about the Holocaust.

[lilwriter85]

This psalm is included in the Birkat Ha-Mazon, the Jewish prayer said as grace after meals. Ever since the Holocaust--a time when righteous people and children were left forsaken and without food--some communities have a tradition of saying this line in a hushed voice because it is something we hope for, NOT something that has actually happened yet. We have learned to reconcile, question, and even argue with the promises in our sacred texts that don't match observable reality. Lori clearly hasn't.

And as a side note, I REALLY hope Lori never writes about the Holocaust.

I think she did already. IIRC she had some post comparing the Nazis and the holocaust to universal healthcare.

[GeoBQn]

I think she did already. IIRC she had some post comparing the Nazis and the holocaust to universal healthcare.

[lilwriter85]

I felt the same way. There is a thread about that particular posting on here. Lori is a dumbass about a lot of things. One day, out in public she is going to say the wrong thing to the wrong person. She will get her ass handed to her as a result.

[docmom]

Why is that a lie? No rational person would prevent a baby they wanted or have one they didn't. That's what the reality based world calls a choice.

If there are any lies, it's that birth control is infallible and that you can have babies in your 40's.

Yes, it's called choice. You can choose to have lots of kids, a few kids or none. You can choose to have an abortion or not. You can choose to stay home and raise kids or keep on working. We, in the real world, do not REQUIRE you to do any of this. There are plenty of feminists with large families who stay home and have never had an abortion. You see we understand the importance of choice and the very real danger of dictating what someone else should do with their lives. Society never told you you HAD to stop having children. That was your CHOICE and you were able to change your mind. Fundies need to stop blaming society for their choices.

[rward]

This psalm is included in the Birkat Ha-Mazon, the Jewish prayer said as grace after meals. Ever since the Holocaust--a time when righteous people and children were left forsaken and without food--some communities have a tradition of saying this line in a hushed voice because it is something we hope for, NOT something that has actually happened yet. We have learned to reconcile, question, and even argue with the promises in our sacred texts that don't match observable reality. Lori clearly hasn't.

And as a side note, I REALLY hope Lori never writes about the Holocaust.

You don't think she sees Jews as Godly, do you? Cuz she don't. The fundy line on Jews, as far as I can tell, is "Sure, they were once God's chosen people, but now they're all going to hell! Go Israel!" Then they blow a plastic shofar, eat bacon challah and celebrate Passover with a nice glazed ham.

[GolightlyGrrl]

It also made me sick. Lori quoting Bible verses on God providing shows that she really doesn't know how to give financial advice in regards to a large family. I don't think Lori has ever faced any major financial struggles. I wonder what she would have done if Ken had died before all of her kids reached adulthood.

Lori has been privileged her entire life. She's gone from being financially dependent on her well-off parents to being financially dependent on an asshole with a good income. She's never struggled a day in her life, and she completely lacks empathy for others.