The bible club gave treeboy a bible

[treemom]

Was this a collection for your son only, or was it some sort of effort to provide the same for students the organizers believed have no religious orientation?

If it was the former, yes; I would take it up with someone. If it was the latter, I'd let it go.

only for my son

[treemom]

Singling out one child is completely wrong. If this happened to my kid (who is in 7th grade and has no religious affiliation), I'd go talk to the principal. They kids in the club might not have meant anything bad by it, but isn't it the job of the sponsor to make sure they don't do anything offensive?

Actually, before talking to the principal, I'd talk to my kid and find out what he wanted me to do about it. My son can be weird about things and while it would bother him to get a bible, he might not want me to make an issue of it at school because it would possible ostracize him even more. But my first instinct would be to talk to the principal - no threats of legal action or anything, just a simple "Why was my kid singled out?"

Additionally, I'd think there would be some freethinking/secular humanist/atheist group you could contact for advice about this (if warranted) but I can't think specifically of any names right now and my google-fu isn't working.

I did talk to the boy. He was comfortable with me approaching the sponsor and the principal about this as long as i didn't create too much of a deal.

I am torn about approaching the parents. Probably not because he would not want that.

[treemom]

Yes, I hope treeboy is ok. Seems such a shitty thing to do to a kid, being singled out. Valentines day? Whichever adult suggested/allowed this should have said good book shoved up his/her arse. Not I realise a helpful suggestion.

Would they be perhaps looking for a reaction? For some reason? If so a nice thank you letter and in the bin with the book.

yeah he is fine. He has girlfriend, so it wasn't some jab at his 7th grade love life. I think it was more god loves you Treeboy.

This girl has been pestering him about getting saved apparently.

[treemom]

What me bothers here quite much, is the "we collected money to buy you a bible!" thing. Bibles are neither expensive nor are they hard to find: There are new bibles for 2$ and at thrift shops, flea markets, etc. bibles are these books that will always sit there in quantities, for cents often.

But this group (or just the sponsor) but efford on extra telling your son in any way, they where going to all that way collecting money for this book, meant especially for him.

It´s like they were saying: "Look, what we did! FOR YOU! ONLY FOR YOU! Because we care so much about you - you cannot ignore us now!"

Treemom, I definitely don´t want to scare you unnecessary as I know nothing of this group or their sponsor whatsoever, but be aware and keep an good eye on them, as this is pretty much effort to "only" bring a new member to their High School bible group for 2 hours a week! There are evil people out there with evil & sick minds, and very often they work in fields where they have easy access to children... especially religious -pedagogic fields!

So talk to the sponsor, make clear you will certainly have an very watchful eye on him/her. And maybe also talk to other parents.

And tell your son, he should stay away from this kind of people and he mustn´t tolerate any psychological harassment in any form from them.

All the best,

Anny

the funny thing is we have several bibles at home, in several translation types and in four different languages,

I am not too worried about the sponsor being creepy...he was my son's 6the grade science teacher last year. (which further increases my prissiness over this situation). If my kid wants to go to bible club I will be supportive. But this whole thing just crosses a major line.

[treemom]

Thanks everyone. I plan to email the sponsor and principal but go no further.

I fault the girl less, even though she is constantly, constantly harassing him. But the parents who took her to buy the bible and probably helped with the highlighted passages. I think this girl might have a bit of a crush on him and this was probably one of those not brilliant ideas. But the problem is adults had to be involved and let it get this far.

Gah..I am just so pissed.

[treemom]

Who is the "they" that took up the collection? It is difficult to believe that a school system would let that happen in this day and age. How is your son? Is he cool with what happened, understands that it's up to him?

the members of the bible club. I live in Memphis, where a big question when meeting people is "what church do you go to?".

My son is annoyed and I think is comfortable with some level of intervention. But I am going to tread lightly. And yeah, he knows faith is totally up to him...

[Cannelle]

Treemom, have you read The Good News Club by Katherine Stewart? (Amazon link to check it out: http://www.amazon.com/Good-News-Club-Ch ... +News+Club) I highly, highly suggest you read this book, with what happened with your son...

[formergothardite]

This sucks for your son. I am fairly sure if any other religion had done this to a Christian child the parents would have it on Fox news and would be screaming about Christians being persecuted. The fact that a teacher thought that this would be a good idea makes it all worse. I would be sending emails to the principal and the teacher and return the Bible and tell them to please give it to someone who really wants it.

[OkToBeTakei]

yeah he is fine. He has girlfriend, so it want some jab at his 7th grade love life. I think it was more god loves you Treeboy.

This girl has been pestering him about getting saved apparently.

Way to go for treeboy the girls are a chasin him, that's really sweet. But fail to the girl trying it with a bible. I know I must be so out of touch but a good old fashioned anonymous/not so anonymous Valentine card was the thing.

But to the adults being involved I find that quite creepy and like you would very annoyed!

[Swamptribe]

I went through this with my kids. I went to the principle and complained. Twice. They did put a stop to my son being singled out in front of other students by a teacher (which is what's happening to your son). It's out and out creepy. This means they singled out your child for their group to gossip about, with approval of their adult sponsor.

Funny thing was, I had a couple of other parents take me aside afterwards saying that their child had been subjected to the same crap from this particular teacher, but they never had the guts to say anything, and thanked me for taking a stand.

My worry was that if I didn't stand up to what is essentially adult sanctioned bullying, it would just get worse. Do this as soon as possible, and in person. You may also want to draft a letter of complaint to the school board. Outline how this incident disturbed you, and why. Make sure you phrase it in terms of your child being singled out (harassed/bullied) because his religious beliefs are different from the other in this group, and that you are afraid it may result in his being bullied for having different religious beliefs. Would it be ok for them to have done this to a Jewish student? A Muslim one? A Mormon?

[cjsmom]

I agree with others, treemom should talk to the principal or maybe go to the media.

Treemom should talk to the principal and discuss it on a school level first before approaching the media.

[debrand]

Putting this here because while it is not strictly fundie it is an example about how zealotry impacts others.

My son is in seventh grade in public school. He is a good student, and well behaved and overall well liked. So far middle school has not been terrible for him.

At this school there is a school sponsored bible club which meets outside school hours, but on school property and with a teacher as a sponsor. I am supportive of the existence of this group because I think teenagers transition a lot in faith and sometimes it is nice to have a group like this.

However, they have crossed the lines. They took up a collection to buy my son a bible for valentine's day. And this had the blessing of the sponsor. Because my son is currently atheist (I only say currently because he has flitted a bit about religion) I am Jewish and my husband is Episcopalian, but neither of us are practicing. We are supportive in whatever faith my son has...

I have no idea what I am going to do...but I am pissed. I think this is like religious bullying. Not to mention a little offensive on several fronts. And somehow I don't think giving out Korans would be ok.

I haven't read any other comments so forgive me if this has already been posted. Encourage him to read the bible from cover to cover. Tell him that most Christians never read through their own damn holy text. No offense to any Christians, but the bible is a mess of very crazy and often bizarre stories that really wouldn't inspire anyone who read it first to join Christianity.

[Littlebit66]

Or he could have said a snarky comment like "Cool! Now I can read all the violent and dirty sexy parts." I read the bible one summer as a teen from cover to cover, definately has some racy stuff and pretty grafic violence.

[Black Aliss]

Treemom,

I would follow my son's lead, supporting him in whatever action he wanted to take, or taking whatever action he wanted me to take (within legal limits, obviously). Your son is in 7th grade, which means he is at or close to the age of accountability in Judaism.

Allowing him to own the issue is empowering all by itself.

[cjsmom]

I would be extremely annoyed as well, but I would wary of doing anything, like going to the media, that would turn my child into the recipient of any resulting crossfire. Maybe your son could just politely give the Bible back, or pass it on to a charity shop, to quietly make the point that it was not wanted?

I know that at some point this year my son's class (he is in UK Year 4) will be visited by the local Baptists who hand them all a Bible - they do it every year for his age group. I feel it is completely unnacceptable for churches to do this - but at the same time this is small village school and I don't particularly want to make a massive deal about it if it's going to embarrass my son. We do not attend church and my son currently identifies as atheist. I have explained to him that he does not have to accept the Bible if he doesn't want to and I know he is enough of an over-confident loudmouth to tell them exactly why he doesn't want it.

I was in Year 7 when everyone in my year was given a Bible by the Gideons. We were told by the deputy head that we had to accept the book, and say thank you to the person who handed us the text. 11-year-old me didn't question authority, so I went ahead with what we were told to do, and because I knew the book was a holy one for many people, kept it (and tried reading it once) for several years because I didn't know if putting it in the rubbish was an acceptable thing to do. I must have done that at some point, because I don't have it now.

[yewchapel]

I was in Year 7 when everyone in my year was given a Bible by the Gideons. We were told by the deputy head that we had to accept the book, and say thank you to the person who handed us the text. 11-year-old me didn't question authority, so I went ahead with what we were told to do, and because I knew the book was a holy one for many people, kept it (and tried reading it once) for several years because I didn't know if putting it in the rubbish was an acceptable thing to do. I must have done that at some point, because I don't have it now.

We had the same thing in Year 7 but were told that we could refuse if we wanted! But then my school had many Muslim, Hindu and Sikh students which is maybe why. I wasn't a Christian then but didn't refuse out of shyness. I don't actually have it anymore though! I don't think it's right that students aren't allowed to refuse Bibles (or any other religious text/pamphlet).

[AmyP]

To be fair, I tried to put myself in your position by imagining how I would feel if the Muslim Student Association gave my daughter a bible and invited her to their meetings. I did, and I still don't see this as a big deal. Your son seems to have chosen at least one of these kids as his friend. It doesn't seem like he was randomly targeted, or targeted by a teacher who is in a position to coerce him in one way or another. Rather, this is another form of peer pressure and he has to decide where he stands on the issue. What horrible thing has happened here? He was given a book. He didn't have to accept it, he doesn't have to read it, he can choose not to be friends with these kids if he wishes.

[treemom]

To be fair, I tried to put myself in your position by imagining how I would feel if the Muslim Student Association gave my daughter a bible and invited her to their meetings. I did, and I still don't see this as a big deal. Your son seems to have chosen at least one of these kids as his friend. It doesn't seem like he was randomly targeted, or targeted by a teacher who is in a position to coerce him in one way or another. Rather, this is another form of peer pressure and he has to decide where he stands on the issue. What horrible thing has happened here? He was given a book. He didn't have to accept it, he doesn't have to read it, he can choose not to be friends with these kids if he wishes.

no, he has gone to school with this girl since kk and been in most of her classes. I don't think they are friends as much as acquaintances. he wasn't randomly targeted, he was specifically targeted, which is the problem. And a Muslim student probably wouldn't give your kid a bible...I am going to assume that was a mistake. But if you actually meant bible, it probably explains why you don't care.

Also it was not a student who just gave him a bible. It was a student who introduced the idea and a school sponsored club took up donations to buy him a bible. It's all very icky,

It's a problem because he was targeted by a school sponsored group and this was given blessing by the teacher. It isn't horrible, it is inappropriate. Things don't have to be horrible to be out of bounds.

Oh and the teacher who is a sponsor of this organization was his science teacher last year, which just further annoys me,

[treemom]

I haven't read any other comments so forgive me if this has already been posted. Encourage him to read the bible from cover to cover. Tell him that most Christians never read through their own damn holy text. No offense to any Christians, but the bible is a mess of very crazy and often bizarre stories that really wouldn't inspire anyone who read it first to join Christianity.

we have read the bible as a family cover to cover. But I def agree with you :). That is the funny thing, we have several really amazing bible editions and the bible they bought him is kinda crappy. Super dumbed down translation and not very nice quality. I suggested he check out a bible I bought when I went to Liberty which is much nicer.

[AmyP]

no, he has gone to school with this girl since kk and been in most of her classes. I don't think they are friends as much as acquaintances. he wasn't randomly targeted, he was specifically targeted, which is the problem. And a Muslim student probably wouldn't give your kid a bible...I am going to assume that was a mistake. But if you actually meant bible, it probably explains why you don't care.

Also it was not a student who just gave him a bible. It was a student who introduced the idea and a school sponsored club took up donations to buy him a bible. It's all very icky,

It's a problem because he was targeted by a school sponsored group and this was given blessing by the teacher. It isn't horrible, it is inappropriate. Things don't have to be horrible to be out of bounds.

Oh and the teacher who is a sponsor of this organization was his science teacher last year, which just further annoys me,

Yeah, sorry. That was a mistake- I meant to say Koran. Really what I meant was some religous organization that I don't agree with giving my child thier holy book/literature. If the group was a recognized religion (ie not a cult group that is in violation of the law or that is generally recognized as a threat to student safety), and it was a student initiated effort and therefore in compliance with the law, I don't feel that I would have grounds to complain. I can understand your annoyance, though.

[crazyforkate]

I'm sorry this happened to your son. To me that really constitutes bullying, especially since it was just him. Is he doing ok?

[treemom]

It is bible club at school, not a church. It is a club made of Christians, but not sponsored by a specific church.

Also, it was a bible given only to my son. And something doesn't have to be illegal to be a bad idea. This shouldn't happen. Period. To anyone.

[treemom]

I'm sorry this happened to your son. To me that really constitutes bullying, especially since it was just him. Is he doing ok?

yeah, he is annoyed, but probably not as pissed as I am.

[thekate]

I would contact the ACLU. Not to do a media/lawsuit thing, but they can probably give advice and let you know where things stand legally. If you decide to, they could probably write a friendly reminder letter to the principal.

[debrand]

Yeah, sorry. That was a mistake- I meant to say Koran. Really what I meant was some religous organization that I don't agree with giving my child thier holy book/literature. If the group was a recognized religion (ie not a cult group that is in violation of the law or that is generally recognized as a threat to student safety), and it was a student initiated effort and therefore in compliance with the law, I don't feel that I would have grounds to complain. I can understand your annoyance, though.

Of course, you'd have grounds to complain. It wouldn't bother you if Satanists-a recognized group and not a cult- chose your child out for special attention and pooled their money to buy him/her a copy of LeVay's Satanic Bible? What about if an atheist group-again, not a cult- gossiped about saving your child from your faith and bought literature meant just for him/her? None of that would bother you?