New crazy 'beauty' standard: the thigh gap!

[Cannelle]

There's a name for this? Good God.

I have it. I shouldn't- I didn't a few months ago, but due to some health issues, I'm currently about 12 pounds underweight and I'm having a hard time putting any back on (again, thanks to the health issues. I'm actually worried I'm going to lose more. Dear stomach, I hate you. Stop hurting me. FYI, yes, I'm being treated by a doc and I see him again next week). It's not healthy. I'm not healthy right now at this weight, and getting this low kind of fucks with my head, since I have an eating disordered past. It's a constant struggle to not just take this and run with it and lose more and more and more.

I hate that this is a thing in our society. I've seen some pro-ana shit and it's heartbreaking and God knows how many young women are triggered by it and pushed further into the hell that is an eating disorder. :(

[mockingbird]

I might have heard of it in a memoir by someone with an eating disorder (as something they strived for while they had the eating disorder), but not beyond that.

I guess I have a little one. I am/have always been underweight though and I had a hard time keeping weight on as a kid. I grew up drinking Boost. (Boost was always near SlimFast in the grocery store, so before I could understand what the name of that drink meant I would always ask my mom why we didn't buy the SlimFast drinks to try something different. LOL) My weight stabilized once I was maybe 16 or 17 (and my doctors are happy with my weight even though I am still technically underweight), but I suspect I lost some weight recently from having two colds in a row and not having any appetite... not good. I need to be able to fit in my clothes! haha I never got the anorexic question, but my tall-and-skinny friends did. I think I didn't because I am also really short, so I might not look as skinny as someone taller with the same BMI - the whole surface area/mass ratio thing. I had a really tall friend growing up who also had trouble keeping weight on and our parents threw us a party when we reached a certain weight milestone at the same time. haha

Anyway, I would probably agree on having a thigh gap depending on your bone structure more than anything.

[miffy]

Most of the 'thigh gap' photos that guys my FB have liked are just photos of girls with their bum sticking out, they don't really have a 'thigh gap'. My thighs have a tiny gap/they touch if im pms-puffy & there is a large gap if I stick my bum out (I checked :lol: )

[Chicken bones]

These posts remind me of when I worked at Victoria's Secret in college (way too many years ago) and we'd have to watch training videos on new products. They never retouched the models on the staff training stuff, so we could see how unhealthy and gaunt all the models really were. None of them had the breasts they seem to have in the ads (barring those with implants). But of course we are conditioned to compare ourselves to them, and it is not even reality.

[lovemygsp]

Nothing new. I got made fun of 15 yeArs ago in middle school because my thighs touched. Even when I got older and wad a collegiate cross country runner my thighs still touched. Girls are mean and the media is pretty bad. I agree about the vs models too. Most don't look sexy, they look sick. It's sad that society says they are sexy.

[B5SnowDog]

Off topic, but when I first saw this post I thought it was referring to a different kind of [link=http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ZettaiRyouiki]thigh gap[/link]. :lol:

Me too!

[Kitty]

hugs.

I was younger in the days before the internet as we know it, and I was scrawny naturally too- 120 lbs and 5'10". My mom was told many times that she needed to deal with my eating disorder, and I was watched like a hawk by people when it came time to eat somewhere. I still am uncomfortable if I have to go to the bathroom right after I eat, I just realized. I always ate a lot, and only now, in my mid 30's, do I have to watch what I eat, and even now I'm not overweight.

Oh god, this. My "thigh gap" is pretty tiny thanks to my body shape (and ever since I hit puberty I've had issues with chub rub) but I'm 5'3 and 105 lbs. Which is apparently very tiny and "anorexic," even though I'm not even that much smaller than average. What makes my life more difficult is that my butt is kinda big for someone 'my size', and it's sometimes hard to find pants that fit. Though it's still far easier to find pants than shirts, holy shit.

The number one reason I HATED my job in high school was because whenever I was working by myself EVERY SINGLE PERSON who came in would comment on how small I was. I've had TWO boyfriends say that they would never get me pregnant until I gained a few pounds (I set them straight immediately). I had a friend (keyword: "had") tell me I needed to see a doctor for my weight. This was all before I graduated high school. I went to college with some nasty depression, awful body issues and really bad eating habits that I'd developed in an unsuccessful effort to gain weight. The worst part of it all was that I couldn't say anything about it without hearing "but they're just jealous of you!" "Well, you do need to eat more" "yeah, well, you're still pretty, and I'm still ugly and fat and you don't have it as bad as me" oh and my favorite "don't worry, you'll be fat by the time you're 30!" I don't want to be fat either, but whatevs. And whenever I tried to look for help in getting into shape/gaining weight, all I heard about was weight *loss*, which is pretty damn discouraging. I've largely recovered from my weight issues, but I'm still trying to get into shape for perfectly good health reasons, and still everywhere I go, it's all about fucking weight loss. It's really annoying and de-motivating.

Being thin-shamed to fucking oblivion made me pretty sympathetic, ironically, to the shit fat women face as well, because it's all the same fucking thing and women absolutely cannot win the war on weight.

[doggie]

Never look at any stupid gap on a woman. I doubt most men think if it.

[Soldier of the One]

That's the thing, isn't it? You just can't win. Even at my scrawniest (think BMI 16.5 - not desirable!) I still didn't have a thigh gap. You could count my ribs and I had no chest but gravity goes south on me and that's just where the padding goes. I just have 'heavy' thighs.

And boy oh boy, am I judged for them. I have a perfectly healthy height and weight (a BMI of 21) and finally I don't keel over if I don't eat regularly (like I used to) and yes, I am heavier on the thighs and buttocks. A gap for me would be completely unattainable. In fact, due to this damn skinny jeans fashion, I have a really hard time finding pants that fit me. Meanwhile, I am certain that any doctor and dietician would proclaim me to be at a healthy weight and body type. What the media does is just... shameful.

And yes, thin-shaming and fat-shaming are two sides of the same coin. I really resent how I am being made to feel inadequate as a woman all the time: either too thin or too heavy, never just right. My husband can't stand the skinny-leg-look that's all the vogue these days, it strikes him as completely unnatural. And actually, I don't think men are all that fond of skinniness and thigh gaps. So if you're hetero, then who are you trying to please?

Like I said, it's infuriating. I am a mature, accomplished and confident woman and still this stuff eats away at me. I can't even imagine being an insecure teenager these days. It must be hellish.

[latraviata]

I have never had one, even when I was 110 lbs and worked out every day, didn't eat meat, and was 17. I always just though I was deformed, cursed with chubby, ugly, short legs.

Now that I'm +50lbs and older, I regret wasting my youth and beauty on dreams of 4 more inches of height and a thigh gap. And smaller boobs. As it was, my schools dress code was literally the least flattering type of clothing for my body type, and I suffered through high school with low self esteem as no one looked at me twice, thinking I was fat and weird. Yeah, I was a double zero and teenagers told me I was fat and ugly.

There is no justice in this world when it comes to american pop culture and beauty standards.

Too late, I am 64 and I have/had a (natural) thigh gap and it had nothing to do with weight. In my time, it was most certainly not a beauty ideal, au contraire and I hated it!

[Effie]

Being naturally underweight, I have also had people ask me if I have an eating disorder (more so lately). When I was younger, my sisters called me a skeleton. XD Once someone said I looked like an Auschwitz prisoner (then I cried). Just the last four months have had 3 different persons ask if I have an eating disorder (but I'll admit I'm not very healthy at the moment).

[itsnikki05]

thigh gaps, hip dips... people are stupid! Now,I would LOVE to have a flat tummy. Probably never happen but I CAN make it smaller. When I'm small I have a very pronounced pear shaped body. Smallish c boobs, big hips. Childbirthing hips. Thick thighs and booty. What is WRONG with that? It irks me that people choose ideals that some of us will NEVER attain. Or maybe not. Because I'm not going to stop eating to look like that.

ETA: Someone posted this about hip dips: Whenever I hear the word hip dips I think of this song: "You put your hand up on my hip, when I dip you dip we dip"

LOL!

[itsnikki05]

Being naturally underweight, I have also had people ask me if I have an eating disorder (more so lately). When I was younger, my sisters called me a skeleton. XD Once someone said I looked like an Auschwitz prisoner (then I cried). Just the last four months have had 3 different persons ask if I have an eating disorder (but I'll admit I'm not very healthy at the moment).

My mom is naturally very small. Recently she was diagnosed with Graves Disease and literally can't keep on weight. (Her thyroid is messed up.) She said she does have people ask if she's anorexic. I hate that as much as I hate when people make fun of larger individuals. Either way it's messed up!

[Cannelle]

oh and my favorite "don't worry, you'll be fat by the time you're 30!"

I've heard that one plenty of times. (I'm 32.) I don't know if people who are overweight experience people commenting about their weight to their faces, but I can promise you that society seems to think that the weight of underweight people is 100% up for discussion all the time. (And the question about, ZOMG are you anorexic???? Um, most people with eating disorders won't admit to it, or they don't think they have a problem, so it's not like they're going to be all, YES! I eat 421 calories a day and work out for three hours in order to starve myself! Wheeeee!)

When we went home for Christmas this year, even my father, who is very stoic and professional and has never, ever, ever commented on my body once in my entire life, greeted me with, "You look thin. Have you lost weight?" (I realize he's just worried about me. Sadly, I've lost more weight since then. I am, however, two-tenths of a pound heavier than yesterday, lol.)

[BoomerLynn]

thigh gaps, hip dips... people are stupid! Now,I would LOVE to have a flat tummy. Probably never happen but I CAN make it smaller. When I'm small I have a very pronounced pear shaped body. Smallish c boobs, big hips. Childbirthing hips. Thick thighs and booty. What is WRONG with that? It irks me that people choose ideals that some of us will NEVER attain. Or maybe not. Because I'm not going to stop eating to look like that.

ETA: Someone posted this about hip dips: Whenever I hear the word hip dips I think of this song: "You put your hand up on my hip, when I dip you dip we dip"

LOL!

Oh good, I'm not the only one who went there as soon as I read that. :) As for the other stuff, even at 98 lbs at 5'1" I still didn't have a thigh gap. And back then I thought I was fat. I've always had body image issues and to a point still do. I carry all of my weight in my stomach, butt, and thighs. I would just like to be able to keep a reasonably healthy weight as obesity and diabetes both run in my father's side of the family and I am terrified of it happening to me. Back on topic, I truly feel for young girls today. They are expected to hold up to an unattainable ideal. I have heard of girls as young as 8 going on diets. I have a daughter who will be starting school next year and the pressures on young girls makes me worry for her.

[2xx1xy1JD]

I had never heard of "thigh gap" and am appalled that pro-anorexic sites exist.

A friend of ours nearly died of anorexia, and I tend to go postal on anyone who makes comments about weight to my girls, even when they think they are complimenting them. [Example]

I also feel like I'm swimming upstream sometimes, trying to counter media and fashion influence. My kids don't wear frumpers, but I do attempt to insist upon some coverage and not treating skin-tight leggings as regular pants (the middle school rule is that leggings require a top that reaches mid-thigh), and not getting too carried away by trends. In their minds, of course, I'm just mom lecturing again about feminism, and am both hopelessly old-fashioned and completely hopeless at the girly-girl thing. [The girls are 10 and 13 - great kids, but still a tween and a teen.]

I hate the media/fashion industry periodically declaring that certain body styles are "in", and then making clothes for a season or two that only seem to fit that particular body style. While the current trend isn't that bad for me (I carry all the weight in my tummy, boobs and upper arms), the trend 10 years ago to have wide pants with skinny, short shirts and low waist pants was NOT good for me. If you are tall and 18 yrs old, maybe the exposed midriff thing works. I am short, short-waisted, and after my last 2 back-to-back pregnancies, I had plenty of tummy. Women come in all shapes and sizes - deal with it. The irony, of course, is that women tend to be more judgmental than men. Sure, guys will like a girl that's "hot", but many have no idea about actual dress sizes or trends.

[OkToBeTakei]

Ok I just tried that in the mirror with my bum stuck out and popping eyes I also have a gap or looked like I was about to dive in to the mirror.

3 inches though? Some of these girls just look 'bandy legged' to me. I assume it is the gap just below the 'join' we are talking about?

I have sparrow legs which if I put on weight makes me look like well stupid. If I don't curb my monstrous appetite I would be a a perfect 'apple' shape. My sister was the opposite with fab hourglass voluptuous thigh. I got the massive 'girls' (boobies.)

When I first saw the thread I thought it was a new fundie courting rule :lol:

[Spider Burps]

I have a thigh gap and a nice healthy weight, it all has to do with how wide your hips are. I think it's ridiculous that it's a standard because not everyone is built the same.

The current thing right now is hip dips. :roll:

What on earth is a hip dip?

I'm a little taller than average and skinny but I'm fairly "big boned" (especially hips, knees, shoulders, and elbows), so I've always had the three gap thing going on even when I weighed 30 pounds more than I do now. In high school everyone wore flared or boot cut jeans since that's what was popular at the time. I could never find jeans that fit both in the hip and in the thigh, so people made fun of me for it. The fact that gappy legs are a "thing" now only further confirms to me that fashion/popularity is the most redonkulous thing evar. :roll:

[eohiken]

I had to look up the hip dip, I was that curious. It's incredibly stupid. It's an inward curve between the crest of the hip and the head of the thigh. It has nothing to do with weight at all! Very thin people will have it because that's the shape of the pelvic bone and no padding obviously, anyone else could have it based on how their body places fat.

I have always had a hip dip, and I have been very underweight to currently pleasantly padded.

[LilMissMetaphor]

Personally I find the thigh gap rather unattractive, because (regardless of weight) it highlights the skeletal structure in an unflattering way. Perhaps some people like to look at a woman's legs and be reminded of a skeleton, but I don't think the shape is appealing.

Random girl:

Skeleton:

[Spider Burps]

So, pretty much it's just popular to have big pokey hip bones right now?

I feel like I read at some point (I can't find a link, so it may have been in a book--or I may just be making this up) that the "popular" body shape of people in history has a positive correlation to the health of the economy: curvier shapes are more popular when the economy is doing well, but skinniness is in when the economy is doing poorly. Or maybe I have that backwards? Back to Google.

Also, LOL @LittleMissMetaphor!

[uber frau]

I'm the largest I've ever been and I have a 'hip dip'. The last time I had a 'thigh gap' was when I was a US size 6 (I'm over 6'-my BMI was about 15). It's all bullshit. It has everything to do with genetic lottery and very little to do with health.

Why is it that nearly every woman out there seems to have an issue with the portrayal of the female body, yet a small segment of the media has such a powerful voice in dictating what is deemed to be attractive or healthy?

[eohiken]

So, pretty much it's just popular to have big pokey hip bones right now?

I feel like I read at some point (I can't find a link, so it may have been in a book--or I may just be making this up) that the "popular" body shape of people in history has a positive correlation to the health of the economy: curvier shapes are more popular when the economy is doing well, but skinniness is in when the economy is doing poorly. Or maybe I have that backwards? Back to Google.

Also, LOL @LittleMissMetaphor!

no, it appears to be a bad thing, like it's possible to be so skeletal to have gappy thighs, but maintain a small pocket of flesh between the liliac crest and the greater trochanter.

[loveandwar]

So having a thigh gap is a thing now? Geez.

The only time I ever had a thigh gap was about a week after gallbladder surgery. I was on a low fat diet for 3 weeks before surgery, and my doctor put me on an even more restricted diet for a week after. (Of course, I was so nauseated afterwards that I couldn't eat much anyway.) Result? I dropped 10-20 lbs very fast, obtained the "coveted" thigh gap, and looked awful.

I'm so glad I'm done with school. I can't imagine the pressure that middle and high schoolers are under with stupid trends like this...

[Soldier of the One]

Oh yeah... I am very glad I am 'done' with peer pressure, 'done' with having to wear revealing clothing to 'fit in', 'done' being on the market for a partner, 'done' trying to prove and validate myself through my looks. I dress modestly to make a religious-feminist point (my standards are pretty much LDS :lol: - pants and skirts till the knee, cap sleeves at minimum) and my body is nobody's business. I like looking attractive and well-groomed and I like looking good for my husband because frankly, he's the only person on the planet who I'd want to take a sexual interest in me. For the rest - forget about it. I refuse to compromise my dignity to aspire to something as nonsensical as this.

I was made fun of plenty back in school and it took me years to build up my self-acceptance. No-one is taking that away from me. But yes, do I feel for young girls today? Oh yes. The pressures are only increasing, I think.