New crazy 'beauty' standard: the thigh gap!

[argypargy]

Things like this piss me right the hell off. Some women have anatomy such that, even with extreme dieting and low body fat, will never attain a thigh gap. I am one of those people. Not to sound cocky, but I am very fit (triathlete who works out pretty much every day and sometimes twice per day) and have muscular thighs. There's not a whole lot of fat on them, but they still touch. I don't care.

[ILoveJellybeans]

I dont have one, dont care about having one because I like my body the way it is, and I am not bothered whether any future girlfriend of mine has one-beauty comes in all shapes and sizes :)

[argypargy]

I wish I had a thigh gap. It has nothing to do with aesthetics. I like my muscular, powerful thighs. I just hate having "chub rub" in the summer.

LOL at "chub rub". I get the same thing. I have to wear thinner compression shorts under my running shorts for long runs because I chafe like crazy from my chub rub.

[OkToBeTakei]

LOL at "chub rub". I get the same thing. I have to wear thinner compression shorts under my running shorts for long runs because I chafe like crazy from my chub rub.

Vaseline. What all good Scotsmen wear under their kilts.

[treehugger]

I will never in a million years have a thigh gap. And yes, I have a hip dip. I would say I'm a pretty normal weight - but thanks to a large build I will never look small and slender. I have struggled with self-esteem issues for years and I am finally at the point where I don't really care anymore. My sister has severe anorexia and I hate how the media idealizes an unattainable body for most women.

[GolightlyGrrl]

Thigh gaps? Hip dips? WTF? I'm so sick and tired that women are supposed to worry about this shit when we are living in a world that is seriously going off the rails.

Hmm, apparently Kidist is worried about thigh gaps. Did you know "Law and Order: SVU" actresses Mariska Hargitay and Kelly Giddish have "corpulent thighs?"

http://reclaimbeauty.blogspot.ca/2013/0 ... tives.html

Sayeth Kidist:

"They are both attractive women, with pretty faces. Markiska Hargitay is the daughter of Jane Mansfield and Hungarian-born Mr. Universe Mickey Hargitay, and Giddish was a soap opera actress. They're always heavily made-up in Law and Order, although they do go light on the lipstick.

But, here's the weird thing. Perhaps to compensate for their pretty faces, and to give some gravitas to their criminal investigation roles, they are always dressed in tight black jeans, and showing off corpulent thighs. They look butch."

[argypargy]

Vaseline. What all good Scotsmen wear under their kilts.

My husband was born and raised in Dunfermline. I'll have to ask him. ;)

I actually do use Body Glide, which is an anti-chafe compound very similar to Vaseline. My chub rub burns through it pretty fast, though.

[roma11]

Thigh gaps? Hip dips? WTF? I'm so sick and tired that women are supposed to worry about this shit when we are living in a world that is seriously going off the rails.

Hmm, apparently Kidist is worried about thigh gaps. Did you know "Law and Order: SVU" actresses Mariska Hargitay and Kelly Giddish have "corpulent thighs?"

http://reclaimbeauty.blogspot.ca/2013/0 ... tives.html

Sayeth Kidist:

"They are both attractive women, with pretty faces. Markiska Hargitay is the daughter of Jane Mansfield and Hungarian-born Mr. Universe Mickey Hargitay, and Giddish was a soap opera actress. They're always heavily made-up in Law and Order, although they do go light on the lipstick.

But, here's the weird thing. Perhaps to compensate for their pretty faces, and to give some gravitas to their criminal investigation roles, they are always dressed in tight black jeans, and showing off corpulent thighs. They look butch."

Wow... I had no idea people watch shows like these and spend that much time coming up with ways to describe women's thighs. There is no doubt in my mind men are not subjected to the same scrutiny.

I have a coveted "thigh gap" but I did not always. I carry more of my weight on my lower half and when I weighed more (roughly thirty pounds more than I do now) my thighs just barely touched. My hips, however, are what makes the wider gap possible when I weigh less and not necessarily my weight. I have a 13 inch difference between my waist and my hips... and this has been the case even at my heaviest and thinnest. Despite being thin and having a gap, my thighs still looked bigger than they would on someone who weighed the same but carried weight differently - it just so happens that I had hips wide enough to keep them apart. It's so incredibly sad to me that people are starving themselves trying to obtain something that is likely entirely out of their control.

[GoodbyeBlueMonday]

This is hilarious/sad. I'm an average/healthy weight, but I've always had one because I'm bowlegged! Good to know that what I thought was a vaguely embarrassing physical anomaly is now tres chic.

[Wolfie]

Oh god, this. My "thigh gap" is pretty tiny thanks to my body shape (and ever since I hit puberty I've had issues with chub rub) but I'm 5'3 and 105 lbs. Which is apparently very tiny and "anorexic," even though I'm not even that much smaller than average. What makes my life more difficult is that my butt is kinda big for someone 'my size', and it's sometimes hard to find pants that fit. Though it's still far easier to find pants than shirts, holy shit.

The number one reason I HATED my job in high school was because whenever I was working by myself EVERY SINGLE PERSON who came in would comment on how small I was. I've had TWO boyfriends say that they would never get me pregnant until I gained a few pounds (I set them straight immediately). I had a friend (keyword: "had") tell me I needed to see a doctor for my weight. This was all before I graduated high school. I went to college with some nasty depression, awful body issues and really bad eating habits that I'd developed in an unsuccessful effort to gain weight. The worst part of it all was that I couldn't say anything about it without hearing "but they're just jealous of you!" "Well, you do need to eat more" "yeah, well, you're still pretty, and I'm still ugly and fat and you don't have it as bad as me" oh and my favorite "don't worry, you'll be fat by the time you're 30!" I don't want to be fat either, but whatevs. And whenever I tried to look for help in getting into shape/gaining weight, all I heard about was weight *loss*, which is pretty damn discouraging. I've largely recovered from my weight issues, but I'm still trying to get into shape for perfectly good health reasons, and still everywhere I go, it's all about fucking weight loss. It's really annoying and de-motivating.

Being thin-shamed to fucking oblivion made me pretty sympathetic, ironically, to the shit fat women face as well, because it's all the same fucking thing and women absolutely cannot win the war on weight.

I know that even on this board I've had people tell me that thin shaming does not exist. Oh yes it does. If it didn't, why would I still feel self conscious when I need to use the bathroom after a meal, or try not to cough in a restroom stall when I have a cold? It has long lasting effects.

I wish our society could accept all body types.

[salex]

Never look at any stupid gap on a woman. I doubt most men think if it.

My husband described it to me (in olden days when I we were both young) but he lurves him the big boobies more, and real breasts and major thigh gap do not generally come as a set.

Never in the history of my life have I had a decent thigh gap... but all my beaus were breast men and not one of them complained.

[Cannelle]

If it didn't, why would I still feel self conscious when I need to use the bathroom after a meal, or try not to cough in a restroom stall when I have a cold? It has long lasting effects.

I do the same thing! I have a bladder the size of a lentil, so I almost always have to pee after I eat, and I always worry people will think I'm in there to throw up. :? After my doctor's appointment two weeks ago (the one where I realized I'd lost way more weight than I thought), I went to Walmart to buy a new scale, because obviously the one I'd been weighing myself on at home wasn't accurate. A woman gave me this sad, concerned look as I was hauling it through the store, and I kind of wanted to scream, "No! I'm going to use this to try to GAIN weight, not lose it!!!" :lol:

I really wish weight were not on the table to be commented on by anyone, ever.

[itsnikki05]

I also feel like I'm swimming upstream sometimes, trying to counter media and fashion influence. My kids don't wear frumpers, but I do attempt to insist upon some coverage and not treating skin-tight leggings as regular pants (the middle school rule is that leggings require a top that reaches mid-thigh), and not getting too carried away by trends. In their minds, of course, I'm just mom lecturing again about feminism, and am both hopelessly old-fashioned and completely hopeless at the girly-girl thing. [The girls are 10 and 13 - great kids, but still a tween and a teen.]

.

I'm the same way in that I don't like frumpers, but I like what I consider to be "decent" clothing. Leggings are not pants. When you're in a diaper, that's fine. Baby leggings tend to be on the looser side anyways. But once you're out of that diaper it's time for regular pants (My daughter is tiny tiny and at one point leggings were the ONLY pants that fit her!! They weren't skin tight either!). But yeah... I hate that I can't find shorts for little FIVE YEAR OLDS that are not booty shorts. I did find some at The Children's Place. But most of them are too darn SHORT. I put her in knee length dresses and leggings (capri ones in the summer) most of the time because they're easy and look like something a young child should wear. I hate that a lot of the clothing out there for little ones looks like something a teenager would wear. :( But anyways... yeah. I'm a little conservative when it comes to dress. Not frumper conservative though. ;)

My daughter is very small. She's 5, barely wears a 4/4T in the waist, and in length is nearly into 5's. I don't know WHAT we're going to do once she ages out of adjustable waists! She's always been tiny... it concerned everyone when she was a baby, but now everyone realizes she is healthy as a horse, just small. I hate though that people will comment on it. People have commented on her size (meanly) as a baby. I know it hurts for people to say things about my weight (far from skinny), and I know it'll hurt just as bad when she realizes they're talking about her too. I feel like you can't win! People are going to talk about weight either way, so screw 'em!

[OkToBeTakei]

I'm the same way in that I don't like frumpers, but I like what I consider to be "decent" clothing. Leggings are not pants. When you're in a diaper, that's fine. Baby leggings tend to be on the looser side anyways. But once you're out of that diaper it's time for regular pants (My daughter is tiny tiny and at one point leggings were the ONLY pants that fit her!! They weren't skin tight either!). But yeah... I hate that I can't find shorts for little FIVE YEAR OLDS that are not booty shorts. I did find some at The Children's Place. But most of them are too darn SHORT. I put her in knee length dresses and leggings (capri ones in the summer) most of the time because they're easy and look like something a young child should wear. I hate that a lot of the clothing out there for little ones looks like something a teenager would wear. :( But anyways... yeah. I'm a little conservative when it comes to dress. Not frumper conservative though. ;)

My daughter is very small. She's 5, barely wears a 4/4T in the waist, and in length is nearly into 5's. I don't know WHAT we're going to do once she ages out of adjustable waists! She's always been tiny... it concerned everyone when she was a baby, but now everyone realizes she is healthy as a horse, just small. I hate though that people will comment on it. People have commented on her size (meanly) as a baby. I know it hurts for people to say things about my weight (far from skinny), and I know it'll hurt just as bad when she realizes they're talking about her too. I feel like you can't win! People are going to talk about weight either way, so screw 'em!

Don't worry adjustable waists still going strong at age 10 here :)

[itsnikki05]

Don't worry adjustable waists still going strong at age 10 here :)

Yes!! ROFL! Poor thing will probably be in them until she's a teenager with the way things are going! (Dang it's hard to find clothes that fit her! She's starting to fit in a lot of stores kid clothing though so there's slims! Yes!!)

[Spider Burps]

Yes!! ROFL! Poor thing will probably be in them until she's a teenager with the way things are going! (Dang it's hard to find clothes that fit her! She's starting to fit in a lot of stores kid clothing though so there's slims! Yes!!)

I don't know where you live, but as of ~7 years ago I was able to find up to girls size size 16 with the adjustable waists at Old Navy, just FYI ;)

[gardenvarietycitizen]

Personally I find the thigh gap rather unattractive, because (regardless of weight) it highlights the skeletal structure in an unflattering way.

Excellent visual aid you posted. Look at the thigh bones, see how there's an angle there? An inverted triangle with the top being a line from hip to hip, bottom being where knees are near each other?

Yeah. The angle of those bones determines if you will have a thigh gap or not.

Skinny jeans and the like make it really easy to observe in women wearing the tight pants - just spend an afternoon looking and it'll be obvious that weight is not the only (or even main) factor.

Personally I am not a fan of the really thin look with a really big thigh gap, because absolutely it's all about that angle and you can really tell that their upper legs tilt in. (Not to insult anyone with that - we all have our various looks disappointments, don't we?)

As for the fat thighs vs. fat midsection question, apparently while people can certainly control their weight, WHERE any fat you get will go is pretty much genetic. Once you hit your perfect size, if you don't like your personal curves, it's all about liposuction if you're that obsessed with it (which was the original audience for liposuction - it's not about losing weight).

Personally I have never felt I looked good, still don't, but I've tried in my life (thankfully with supportive parents too) to remind myself that I look average, and as such, it's not about my looks anyway but rather my skills.

It's one reason I feel extra sad for teenagers falling prey to this, because being a young person is already hard enough BECAUSE everyone is just starting out and haven't really had a chance to develop their hobbies and skills enough yet to have confidence in that, so often.

#1 best thing? Eliminate as much advertising from your life as you possibly can. Block it ALL.

LOL at "chub rub". I get the same thing. I have to wear thinner compression shorts under my running shorts for long runs because I chafe like crazy from my chub rub.

Lots of women out there recommending wearing a pair of bike shorts under summer dresses for that reason.

Hmm, apparently Kidist is worried about thigh gaps.

Wonderful! I can say with 100% honesty and enthusiasm that Kidist is probably THE last person on earth I would ever deign to seek the approval of. By my standards, she is pretty damn low, and I'm not talking about her looks!

[OkToBeTakei]

I don't know where you live, but as of ~7 years ago I was able to find up to girls size size 16 with the adjustable waists at Old Navy, just FYI ;)

Old Navy is great. Don't have it here but when I visit I buy in advance. But most stores in UK do adjustable waist. Just in case not, I revisited my childhood and bought her snake belts :lol:

Spiderburps Old Navy makes me jealous. Gap outlets here are cheap but we have no Old Navy :( We have good kid stuff but I adore their stuff. Especially for everyday stuff.

[Spider Burps]

I'm sorry, OKTBT :( I'd offer to be your personal shopper, but I have a feeling the international shipping wouldn't be worth it! I hate Old Navy because I worked there in college--but I still hit up the clearance racks at the Harold Square store in NYC because the deals are so awesome. Old Navy is a force of evil that sucks you in and never spits you out.

I'd be all over their kids stuff if I had goats (that's what people mean when they say kids, right???)

[Violet]

Okay, I'll admit the thigh gap bothers me because I don't have one! I'm pretty slim and do pole fitness (a.k.a pole dancing) and we have these floor-to-ceiling mirrors in the studio. Everyone wears hotpants or short shorts because you need to be able to grip the pole with your legs. Every week during the warm-up and cool-down I look around at everyone else and notice how they all have thigh gaps and I don't, despite being slim. My mum says I don't because I don't have big hips (literally my shoulders are broader than my hips) and others do because they have broad hips. Despite this I still feel like I have fat thighs. I know we talk about there not being standards etc for looks but I can't help subsribing to them. Do others also feel like this?

[GolightlyGrrl]

Vaseline. What all good Scotsmen wear under their kilts.

And very little else.

Speaking of kilts, I think we need some serious defrauding. I present to you Ewan McGregor in a kilt.

[2xx1xy1JD]

I'm the same way in that I don't like frumpers, but I like what I consider to be "decent" clothing. Leggings are not pants. When you're in a diaper, that's fine. Baby leggings tend to be on the looser side anyways. But once you're out of that diaper it's time for regular pants (My daughter is tiny tiny and at one point leggings were the ONLY pants that fit her!! They weren't skin tight either!). But yeah... I hate that I can't find shorts for little FIVE YEAR OLDS that are not booty shorts. I did find some at The Children's Place. But most of them are too darn SHORT. I put her in knee length dresses and leggings (capri ones in the summer) most of the time because they're easy and look like something a young child should wear. I hate that a lot of the clothing out there for little ones looks like something a teenager would wear. :( But anyways... yeah. I'm a little conservative when it comes to dress. Not frumper conservative though. ;)

My daughter is very small. She's 5, barely wears a 4/4T in the waist, and in length is nearly into 5's. I don't know WHAT we're going to do once she ages out of adjustable waists! She's always been tiny... it concerned everyone when she was a baby, but now everyone realizes she is healthy as a horse, just small. I hate though that people will comment on it. People have commented on her size (meanly) as a baby. I know it hurts for people to say things about my weight (far from skinny), and I know it'll hurt just as bad when she realizes they're talking about her too. I feel like you can't win! People are going to talk about weight either way, so screw 'em!

She's sounds exactly like my niece. My sister is tiny (under 5 ft and maybe 100 lbs), so it was no surprise that my niece was under the weight charts. She wore a lot of leggings with dresses or tunic tops.

[treehugger]

Speaking of kilts, I think we need some serious defrauding. I present to you Ewan McGregor in a kilt.

Man, they did it all wrong at my school! The guys should have been wearing the kilts! :dance:

[2xx1xy1JD]

Gardenvarietycitizen:

You're 100% correct about shape and fat distribution patterns being largely genetic.

I'm overweight by BMI, but still wear skinny jeans because the fat doesn't go to my legs. The ironic downside is that I would be a lot healthier if it did, because I have the dreaded "belly fat" instead, and look like I'm gestating a food baby. According to my doctor, the belly fat is a lot more dangerous to my health.

[Olive Plant]

I used to get a lot of comments like that. Not so much now that I'm in college and people have learned to pretend to be polite, but people used to ask if I was anorexic... while I was eating food?? I guess no matter what you look like certain people are going to find something to hassle you about.

I'm sure they thought they were being nice, but I've had friends who apparently listened to see if I vomited when I went in the bathroom. I am also, as you say, naturally scrawny. It literally doesn't seem to matter what I eat or how much I eat. I mean, maybe if I ate tons of junk food all the time, but I've never liked junk food that much. It's almost a bad thing in that I don't do a lot of cardio because I don't want to lose any more weight. Yes, I have a thigh gap. I'm kind of self-conscious to wear skinny jeans because it draws attention to how skinny I am, and people are all about giving you shit if you're skinny. I used to have huge boobs, and those have diminished over time so it's more apparent that I don't have much fat on me. Bottom line: having a thigh gap is not all that, and nobody, literally, has ever told me "wow, you have such a nice thigh gap" or remarked on it in any way except as a negative.