Fundie vs Non-Fundie Bloggers

[treemom]

Spider burps. Can I call you SB or Burps? I feel like we have that level of intimacy.

I think probably your area has a lot to do with it. Here in Memphis a lot of people sah when they are barely getting by and see it as a an unbelievable sacrifice. I am passionate about my job, but def. not entrenched and even though I have a very nearly teenager, people will still try and needle some working mom guilt out of me. "like I bet you wish you could afford to stay home.".

Which makes me laugh. Because I can, but I love my job and I like working and I have a 12 year old. I am not a good homemaker...I would watch tv and read books and not really do anything...I bet my house would still be messy.

[Spider Burps]

Thanks Spider Burps, I was just curious. In the small group of people I know, the ones who don't stay home when they have small children tend to either be very young/ low-income OR in well-established careers and a little older when they have kids. The ones who are 30ish seem to need to keep their jobs even if they don't want to due to mortgages, credit card debt, massive student loans. The few I know who stay home tend to be mid-twenties with no student loan debt and a husband with an okay job ( cop, store manager, i.t. ) and they rent. None of them have any religious motivations regarding their decisions as far as I know.

I think it's great that you were able to make a decision to have home making as a career ! I don't think I've met anyone who has done that before they had children. It sounds like it would be very fulfilling.

Most people I know would probably be in the latter of the two groups you mentioned. In NYC, you're not really settled into a career until you're 30-ish, and then you "can't" just up and leave without sacrificing 5-10 years of crawling up the ladder.

And thanks for the positive response. It's always disheartening when women pat me on the head and tell me I'll "find a job one day." Then when I try to explain that I get a disturbing amount of joy from cleaning/cooking, they think I'm over compensating. Feminism doesn't require you to be a CEO, damn it--and if it does, I guess I can't call myself a feminist anymore. :P

Spider burps. Can I call you SB or Burps? I feel like we have that level of intimacy.

I think probably your area has a lot to do with it. Here in Memphis a lot of people sah when they are barely getting by and see it as a an unbelievable sacrifice. I am passionate about my job, but def. not entrenched and even though I have a very nearly teenager, people will still try and needle some working mom guilt out of me. "like I bet you wish you could afford to stay home.".

Which makes me laugh. Because I can, but I love my job and I like working and I have a 12 year old. I am not a good homemaker...I would watch tv and read books and not really do anything...I bet my house would still be messy.

Of course you can call me Burps. Or Burpzilla. Or whatever.

Up here people say "Oh, well, I can't have a kid yet because daycare would cost more than my salary!" I look at them funny and always wonder If it's more than your salary, why not go on leave from your job until your kid is in school? Apparently, that's just "not" an option for a lot of people, probably for similar reasons to those you gave about yourself. They find value and joy in their careers and don't want to have to give up something they love to do.

And, now, I'm going to get nerdy on you. In the King of the Hill episode where Bobby is diagnosed with ADHD, Peggy becomes a SAHM and finds she feels unappreciated and bored doing housework. In the KotH episode where Kahn's mom/Laoma moves in, Laoma finds herself cleaning for almost the whole neighborhood because she feels unappreciated and bored because Minh won't let her keep house. I am most definitely Laoma. My idea of relaxing involves scrubbing baseboards or reorganizing the refrigerator--while listening to music or watching cartoons. ;)

edited for derp

[Soldier of the One]

This. Treemom, full agreement here.

I like certain aspects of domesticity (cooking, decorating) but I am quite flighty about it. I fare much better in the workplace with actual structure. If I'd stay home, I'd just play around on the internet and procrastinate away my time. I think it would worsen the state of my marriage rather than improve it. DH has far more internal discipline - he'd be the far better Stay At Home parent :)

[latraviata]

Do fundies inhabit a disproportionate section of the blogosphere? Especially when it comes to crafting, domesticity and parenting blogs? Often I end up reading fundie blogs because a) my fascination with them b) but also because some - apart from the reprehensible ideology - can be quite lovely and informative.

Now and again, I will try to break out of my habit of reading fundie blogs by searching out non-fundie blogs (with above themes) and will *still* run into 'fundie-lite' blogs talking about Jesus and male headship/female submission. But in beautiful layout with stunning photography and fashionable mommies galore, of course.

Case in point: http://www.pastorsgirlsponderings.com - cute photography blog, but dig deep enough and you discover the fundie-lite.

In short: where are all the cute, fun, educational egalitarian/feminist/secular crafting, domesticity and parenting blogs? Am I missing something here?

Tangentically, I am sure fundie bloggers are trying to corner their section of the internet for 'promotional' and political purposes. Am wondering whether they are genuinely successful at it and if it actually works to suck women into the lifestyle.

That is a fair description of me ;)

I will immediately start a blog especially for and dedicated to you :lol:

[Soldier of the One]

That is a fair description of me ;)

I will immediately start a blog especially for and dedicated to you :lol:

That sounds great! I will become a dedicated follower! :D

[SoybeanQueen]

This thread has prompted me to start blogging again. Of course, any housekeeping advice I give must be taken with a grain of salt, because I'm a terrible housekeeper. But I do have a larger family, and am not a fundie. I think it's easy to form the idea that only fundies have perfectly clean houses and time for crafts, if you look at what's commonly available in the blogosphere.

[Soldier of the One]

Exactly. A non-fundie blogosphere would be a nice counterpoint. Good luck blogging!

[dawbs]

I think fundies are also far more likely to 'out' themselves than non-fundies.

I mean...I don't tend to talk religion. The best/worst I may do is mention church.

In a society where people w/o religion aren't trusted by society at large, until the recent Red A/A+ push, very few atheists outed themselves. I know I wouldn't--call me a coward (coward!) but the potential repercussions to my life (job, etc) are to great

[constantgardener]

I think fundies are also far more likely to 'out' themselves than non-fundies.

I mean...I don't tend to talk religion. The best/worst I may do is mention church.

In a society where people w/o religion aren't trusted by society at large, until the recent Red A/A+ push, very few atheists outed themselves. I know I wouldn't--call me a coward (coward!) but the potential repercussions to my life (job, etc) are to great

That's interesting. In the UK, I think it's more likely to be the other way round. No-one gives two hoots if you aren't religious here. I think they are more likely to be suspicious if you do talk about your religion. However, in every job I've had, I've discovered at least one fellow lapsed Catholic colleague - I think we just tend to sense it in each other!

[Soldier of the One]

I think fundies are also far more likely to 'out' themselves than non-fundies.

I mean...I don't tend to talk religion. The best/worst I may do is mention church.

In a society where people w/o religion aren't trusted by society at large, until the recent Red A/A+ push, very few atheists outed themselves. I know I wouldn't--call me a coward (coward!) but the potential repercussions to my life (job, etc) are to great

Dawbs, I am sorry to hear that. I think the internet would be a better and richer place with awesome atheist bloggers. Be encouraged :)

[2xx1xy1JD]

You couldn't pay me enough to read through crafting or homemaking blogs, but I do have an interest in parenting blogs.

The Kveller blog is my current must-read, and they have a decent blogroll as well. They have several blogger contributing, and the idea is to show a variety of perspectives from Jewish moms from across the spectrum. I find the overall vibe is definitely not fundie, and it tends to be quite feminist and progressive and urban. I find that they use women (and some men) who are interesting and who are talented writers, who happen to be Jewish parents as well. It's not all about green poop (which is admittedly interesting in a warped way the first time you ever see it in your child).

http://www.kveller.com/blog/

There's always Babycenter. Quality is sometimes lacking, but you certainly have quantity.

[dawbs]

Dawbs, I am sorry to hear that. I think the internet would be a better and richer place with awesome atheist bloggers. Be encouraged :)

I'm probably over-stating the fears...it COULD be fine.

But I'm also looking at trying, in the very near future, to work for myself via a non-profit. I'd be super paranoid that my religious issues (I do identify as Christian, but pretty tenuously and pretty liberally) would reflect badly and affect it.

From what I saw the last time I worked for a similar venture...it would.

The fact that we delved, however superficially, into evolution when teaching biology to children caused no end of upheval.

[Eoywin]

I have a blog where I talk about parenting among other things, though I don't update it as much as I should. But I also am a core contributor for Wired's GeekMom blog - we talk about parenting as well as geeky things.

All of our writers come from different backgrounds (as well as a few different countries) but we tend to be rather liberal.

[greek_chorus]

Spider Burps, I'm completely jealous. I wish I could be at home, but that's not possible right now. Hopefully it will be in the future... I'm keeping my fingers crossed. If nothing else there is something to be said for making ends meet on one salary and that does seem to be easier in some states and towns rather than others.

Regarding Smitten Kitchen she has a recipe on her blog from her new cookbook for Challa with fig, olive oil and sea salt that's delicious... but my husband bought me a copy of her book for Christmas and she has the best recipe for Apple Cake I've ever had in it. I've made it three times since Christmas and everyone is addicted to it.

[Queen Of Hearts]

So... what fundie blogs do you genuinely enjoy, people? I know there have been a gazillion threads like that before but I thought I'd ask here.

I like largefamiliesonpurpose.com... like i or not, that woman can organize and schedule like no one's business. If my life is feeling a little chaotic I need only to check out her site and get inspired.

[Spider Burps]

Spider Burps, I'm completely jealous. I wish I could be at home, but that's not possible right now. Hopefully it will be in the future... I'm keeping my fingers crossed. If nothing else there is something to be said for making ends meet on one salary and that does seem to be easier in some states and towns rather than others.

Regarding Smitten Kitchen she has a recipe on her blog from her new cookbook for Challa with fig, olive oil and sea salt that's delicious... but my husband bought me a copy of her book for Christmas and she has the best recipe for Apple Cake I've ever had in it. I've made it three times since Christmas and everyone is addicted to it.

I'm sorry :( There's really no reason to be jealous, but I do understand how you feel. It sucks to not be able to pursue your passions, no matter how "silly" said passions may be to most folks.

If it makes you feel better... We don't do 9/10 of the things our peers do, including going to shows, eating out (except for when I visit my doctors in NYC), going on vacations, etc. We didn't even go on a honeymoon! Our take home income is nothing compared to most couples in our area, we live in a one bedroom/one bathroom apartment 45 minutes away from Mr. Burps' work, the only name brand "food" we buy is soda (I <3 Diet Coke) and whatever happens to be at Sam's, we live in a "poor" town in NJ instead of Brooklyn due to the taxes, and we don't have much in savings beyond Mr. Burps' 401K.

All of that to say, our life is not "ideal" for most people! If I didn't have chronic pain (and stress-induced seizures) we probably wouldn't have made the same choices despite my love of housekeeping. It's not always an easy (or feasible) option in today's world.

[Soldier of the One]

Challah with fig, olive oil and sea salt? OMG. Where can I find this recipe?

Spider burbs, I am sorry to hear about your health issues and financial situation. I hope both improve for you!

[sparkles]

Challah with fig, olive oil and sea salt? OMG. Where can I find this recipe?

Here you go. It's freaking awesome.

http://smittenkitchen.com/blog/2012/09/ ... book-tour/

[Spider Burps]

Challah with fig, olive oil and sea salt? OMG. Where can I find this recipe?

Spider burbs, I am sorry to hear about your health issues and financial situation. I hope both improve for you!

http://smittenkitchen.com/blog/2012/09/ ... book-tour/

And the health issues are not going anywhere (have had chronic pain for over a decade and seizures since I was in college), but Mr. Burps got a 12.5% raise this year. If this keeps up, the financial difficulties should be a non-issue sooner rather than later! ;)

ETA: Sorry, Sparkles! Didn't realize I posted the link after you. I was eating lunch and got distracted halfway through my post. Pizza rolls. Shut up. They're an awesome sometimes treat.

[greek_chorus]

Here you go. It's freaking awesome.

http://smittenkitchen.com/blog/2012/09/ ... book-tour/

Just don't make the mistake I made the first I time I made this and use fresh figs instead of dried figs (it was late at night and I wasn't paying attention). Instead of fig paste, I had fig syrup that squished out all over the place. It was super sticky and messy, but it still baked up great and tasted fabulous.

[Soldier of the One]

Thanks for the recipe and the tip. Yum!

[B5SnowDog]

ETA: Sorry, Sparkles! Didn't realize I posted the link after you. I was eating lunch and got distracted halfway through my post. Pizza rolls. Shut up. They're an awesome sometimes treat.

#healthychoices

[Spider Burps]

#healthychoices

I ate 'em dipped in ranch dressing! That makes them a salad, right?

[Arielkay]

I keep a secular blog, but it's about pretty much everything, not just parenting. At the moment, I'm still snarking on the 50 Shades series. It's a lot of fun. Of course I also love checking out the fundie blogs I find here.

[Soldier of the One]

I didn't even bother reading the 50 Shades of Grey series. I bet they're epically snarkworthy, though.

I will confess to having enjoyed the Twilight series even if I fully knew how dimwitted they were.