Same Sex DV Incident - Patriarchy to Blame?

[Alecto]

A friend tipped me off to this incident involving a DV incident involving a WNBA player. I was kind of struck on how similar it was to many heterosexual DV incidents.

On 11-13-12, at 1212 hrs, I responded to 1105 Northside Dr NW on damage to property. When I arrived I spoke with the victim, Jennifer Lacy who stated that her vehicle was damaged from her ex-girlfriend, Chamique Holdsclaw. Ms. Lacy stated that at about 1200 hrs, she was working out at a church on Ponce De Leon Ave NE. Ms. Lacy stated that Ms. Holdsclaw arrived needed the keys to her car because she had some items she needed to put in the vehicle. Ms. Lacy stated that after she left the church, she smelled an odor of gasoline inside her vehicle. Ms. Lacy stated that as she drove away, she noticed that Ms. Holdsclaw was following her. Ms. Lacy stated that as she drove, she called a friend because she was scared. Ms. Lacy stated that when she arrived at her friend's location at (REDACTED), Ms. Holdsclaw exited her vehicle and approached her vehicle with a bat. Ms. Holdsclaw began striking Ms. Lacy's vehicle with the bat, smashing in the driver's side window, then breaking out the rear passenger window, behind the driver. After Ms. Holdsclaw broke out the rear window, she stuck a pistol inside the car, then shot at the other door. Ms. Lacy stated while the incident occurred, she was on the phone with, Tameka Kee. After Ms. Holdsclaw shot inside the vehicle, she left the scene. Ms. Holdsclaw is described as a black female, 6'1", athletic build, with long dreads. Investigator Mitchell, unit #5530, came out to the scene. Sgt. Hall was notified of the incident. ID Tech L. Jenkins, unit #7336, came out to process the scene, and recovered the spent 9mm shell casing, which was sent over to the GBI. Ms. Lacy was not injured during the incident.

Ms. Holdsclaw is known for writing a book on depression. I know that depression is very common in the GBLT community, because of how our society on a whole treats non-heteronormative people. Her book was very dark, and I feel deeply for her.

However, some psychologists say that same sex domestic violence is not part of the patriarchy. I disagree. I would think that that the societal pressure on someone in a gay or lesbian relationship, along with the possibility of witnessing domestic violence in their childhood which tends to elevate the likelihood someone will be in a violent relationship personally lead me to believe that patriarchy is deeply at the root of same sex domestic violence.

What say you?

[lilah]

Domestic violence is about power and controling your partner through violence, fear and intimidation. I think people will use the patriarchy as a justification for those behaviors but it's not the root cause. I think the violence/controlling comes first, and the partiarchy comes as a means for justifying the behavior.

Same sex couples are just as likely to have domestic violence as hetero couples and they are often more vulnerable since often the police and DV shelters might not be set up to help them or recognize the violence as a form of spousal/relationship abuse.

[shesinsane]

Has the patriarchy established a culture where when words don't work, physical violence will suffice? In this respect, the patriarchy can be responsible. Holdsclaw learned somewhere that when your woman gives you trouble, take a bat to her car. Sure Holdsclaw did the damage she did, but someone or something taught her that damage would yield a positive response from her girlfriend.

Domestic violence is about power and controling your partner through violence, fear and intimidation. I think people will use the patriarchy as a justification for those behaviors but it's not the root cause. I think the violence/controlling comes first, and the partiarchy comes as a means for justifying the behavior.

Same sex couples are just as likely to have domestic violence as hetero couples and they are often more vulnerable since often the police and DV shelters might not be set up to help them or recognize the violence as a form of spousal/relationship abuse.

Or not even wait until they're out of earshot to mock the "fairies" or "lezbos" they are supposed to be helping.

[valsa]

Ms. Holdsclaw is known for writing a book on depression. I know that depression is very common in the GBLT community, because of how our society on a whole treats non-heteronormative people. Her book was very dark, and I feel deeply for her.

However, some psychologists say that same sex domestic violence is not part of the patriarchy. I disagree. I would think that that the societal pressure on someone in a gay or lesbian relationship, along with the possibility of witnessing domestic violence in their childhood which tends to elevate the likelihood someone will be in a violent relationship personally lead me to believe that patriarchy is deeply at the root of same sex domestic violence.

What say you?

I'm not exactly sure how societal pressure a gay person may feel could cause them to become violent. Society pressures everyone to adhere to certain standards and stereotypes, so why would gay people be more affected than, say, women or racial and religious minorities?

Also, while patriarchy is a significant driving force in our society (probably even the dominate force), it's not the end-all-and-be-all of society and its expectations.

I think gay people commit domestic violence for the same basic reasons that heterosexual people do- some asshole thinks his or her right to take their anger and frustration out on someone is more important than someone else's right not to be physical, mentally, emotional, and/or sexually abused.

[Alecto]

Domestic violence is about power and controling your partner through violence, fear and intimidation. I think people will use the patriarchy as a justification for those behaviors but it's not the root cause. I think the violence/controlling comes first, and the partiarchy comes as a means for justifying the behavior.

I think that patriarchy can be the root of the issue. The very concept of power and control, especially for men, is rooted in patriarchy and seeing women as lesser.

[emmiedahl]

I think our patriarchal society has set up committed sexual relationships so that there has to be a power binary, with one person in charge and the other submissive. We don't have a lot of models for completely egalitarian relationships. This probably has an effect on same sex relationships and the domestic violence within them.

To a point it is natural and human to lash out physically when upset. We are primates, after all. Yet it seems that most domestic abusers can control their behavior in certain settings but do not feel the need to within romantic and familial relationships. So I do blame the patriarchy, at least in part.

[2xx1xy1JD]

It's premature to say for sure when we don't yet know exactly what was going through her mind.

Not all forms of domestic violence are linked to patriarchy.

In my experience, mental illness and/or substance abuse can be independent risk factors. Someone who is out of their mind and out of control is very different from someone who knows exactly what they are doing and is deliberately planning how to maintain control over another person. At this point, I have no idea whether this woman was deliberately acting out of jealousy and anger, or if mental illness played a role.

I do believe that incidents of DV can be reduced (although probably not eliminated entirely) by actively teaching and promoting non-violent family relationships and positive methods of conflict resolution. Egalitarian relationships, ideally, strive to avoid seeing all issues as power struggles. Growing up in a family where someone observed violence between parents, or experiencing violence from a parent, is also a risk factor for engaging in domestic violence. One thing that has struck me in many of my DV cases is how small some of the triggers can be - I've had cases where couples will nearly kill each other arguing over a TV remote, or a blanket, or an insult.

[valsa]

I think our patriarchal society has set up committed sexual relationships so that there has to be a power binary, with one person in charge and the other submissive. We don't have a lot of models for completely egalitarian relationships. This probably has an effect on same sex relationships and the domestic violence within them.

I think patriarchy definitely supports this concept but it didn't invent it.

Put a group of women who've never been exposed to the ideas of patriarchy together and someone is going to try to take power by using violence against some or all of the others. That's human nature. Patriarchy is just one flavor of this type of behavior (re-enforcing the urge in men and suppressing it in women)

[2xx1xy1JD]

I think that power and control issues arise naturally between people, and that cooperative, egalitarian relationships are a learned behavior.

[Deleted03]

I don't think that taking down patriarchy will mean that there will be no DV. I think patriarchy encourages certain forms of violence, but I do not think that it is the origin of violence in itself. And to me, DV is also a reflection of violence of general in society (in addition to individuals' impulses). I don't think that taking down patriarchy will mean the end of violence, and without a thorough reflection on the process and instances of violence.

[JeanneD]

I don't think that taking down patriarchy will mean that there will be no DV. I think patriarchy encourages certain forms of violence, but I do not think that it is the origin of violence in itself. And to me, DV is also a reflection of violence of general in society (in addition to individuals' impulses). I don't think that taking down patriarchy will mean the end of violence, and without a thorough reflection on the process and instances of violence.

QFT

However, I could see some merit in the idea that Patriarchy --> strict gender roles --> young GLBT children experiencing more anguish about not meeting those roles --> receives greater 'training' about achieving those roles --> child chooses to identify with the aggressor --> reproduces that behavior in adulthood

But like others have said, any any group of people, there exist the potential for violence. Much like escape to Chimp Eden where any chimp can become violent quickly.

[Buzzard]

http://www.wsbtv.com/news/news/local/po ... fri/nS7cR/

Both of these women are extremely strong and competative. The relationship was over, she was pissed, and she resorted to violence. When taken in context of Chamique Holdsclaw's history of depression and potentially other "issues" I dont know that this is any different than every other DV case or criminal act that we see.

Whats very lucky here is that no one was seriously injured, although I have to smirk a bit that her book is called "Breaking Through: Beating the Odds Shot after Shot" when she did, indeed break the odds in missing the woman in the car AND the gasoline filled bag. Lucky as hell...

[2xx1xy1JD]

Young looked at Holdsclaw’s public Twitter page and she posted a tweet Tuesday saying, "Everything is a lesson learned. We all make decisions good and bad. As long as we grow from them that's all that matters.â€

Really? 'Cause I thought that not trying to kill people also mattered as well.

Somewhere, her defense lawyer is screaming......