Men And Marriage Mark Driscoll

[debrand]

Mark Driscoll has a sermon on men and marriage. marshill.com/media/real-marriage/men-and-marriage#transcript

I'm just going to quote some of his statements in the speech.

So, let me ask you men a question. When our first father and his wife, our first mother, were in the Garden of Eden, who sinned first, Eve or Adam? Eve did. Eve partook, and he observed. And then God comes in Genesis 3, and who does he call out for? Adam. He calls out to Adam, “Where are you?â€

Why does he do that? Is it that he did not hold her responsible for her sin? No, we read in Genesis 3 that God came to her, spoke to her about her sin, that there are consequences for women today because of the sin of our first mother, Eve. But God held the man primarily responsible, because he’s the head of his family.

One thing that has always struck me when reading the Genesis account is that God seemed angriest at the serpent and Eve. Yeah, Adam had to toil for his bread but that meant that Eve did also. Eve had to fear for her life in difficult labors and be under her husband's control.

I admit, I never got into Paul's letters. I've read them but my attention wandered. Does it say this in the bible:

And if we’re privileged to be husbands, we will also give an account for our wife. And if we’re given the great blessing of children, we will also give an account for our children. They will give an account, as well, but we will give an account for everyone that is under our authority.

and

And so, men, in this sermon on men and marriage, you need to know that if your wife struggles or fails to grow in godliness, if your children struggle or fail to grow in godliness, it is your responsibility in the sight of God; in addition to their responsibility, but it is your responsibility, as well, and that’s what the Bible means when it uses the word “head,†and it does so in many places

So, if a woman cheats on her husband, god will punish the spouse?

men, as head of household or head of family, we’re not the boss. We’re the head. We’re not to be a boss like a boss at work, just sort of delegating duties to our wife and to our children. Instead, we are to be the head like Jesus, and that in every way the relationship between Jesus and the church is to be for us a pattern of covenant relationship.

I don't difference between head and boss. If someone could explain, I'd appreciate it.

and by the power of the Holy Spirit, be something like Jesus to his wife, so that she’s cherished, and she’s nurtured, and she’s loved, and she’s pursued, and she’s forgiven, so that she grows in godliness and grace and gloriousness, that the woman is the glory of the man, that she reflects his investment. As a church matures and grows, it reflects the service and the sacrifice of Jesus. So it is with the woman. As she grows, and flourishes, and as her children grow and flourish, it shows the service and sacrifice of her husband and her Lord.

Here’s the bottom line, guys. Your wife is your garden. And if you don’t like the way the garden looks, you’re the gardener. You can’t just stand back and yell at her, or give demands to her, or pass judgments regarding her. You need to love her like Christ loved the church. You need to take responsibility like Jesus took responsibility. You need to pursue her. You need to invest in her. You need to care for her. You need to cherish her and nourish her with the grace that God gives you.

Despite the fact that he is using the words, cherish and nourish, he is still discussing control. I have heard other Christians say that the husband should be like Jesus to the wife, but it still disturbs me.

This means one man, one woman, husband and wife in the covenant of marriage, that the man is the head. He takes responsibility and burden before God to lovingly, humbly lead her, and that he, by the grace of God, seeks continually to reveal Jesus to her in his words and his deeds. That’s what it means. And this is to protect women from other relationships.

Let’s say, for example, there’s a daughter, and she’s got a close relationship with her covenant head Christian dad. That headship protects her from other boys who want to come along and be her head, tell her what to do, set an identity for her, abuse her, endanger her. It protects her from other young men who would come to take that place of headship in her life.

Similarly with a wife. If the husband loves her, like Christ loves the church, and he takes responsibility for her, that protects her from bad men, bosses, men who have ill intent or those who are perverted. It protects her. It puts her in the context where she is lovingly cared for and protected. And in our day, when one in three women is sexually abused, and women are mistreated, and maligned, and taken advantage of, it’s good to know that God’s intent is that men would be the head, and that husbands and fathers would be the head of their household, and that they would lovingly lead and protect their children, to be sure, but in light of this sermon, especially their wife.

[RosyDaisy]

I heard the same kind of crap preached at a friend's church. I never went back.

[CrazySister]

In short no, there aren't verses that say that crap. He does the same kind of thing the QF'ers do in regards to the "kids are a blessing from the lord" crap and twist it all sorts of ways.

[formergothardite]

So a wife is a garden owed by the husband and if he looks at the wife and doesn't like what he sees, he just whips out his hedge clippers and force her to become what he likes? Sounds like a healthy marriage.

[Ruby]

So a wife is a garden owed by the husband and if he looks at the wife and doesn't like what he sees, he just whips out his hedge clippers and force her to become what he likes? Sounds like a healthy marriage.

Exactly. And who determines what behavior qualifies as investing, cherishing and nourishing? The headship, of course!

[shesinsane]

(snip)

So, if a woman cheats on her husband, god will punish the spouse?

Theoretically yes, but once it happens the interpretation suddenly becomes one of person reponsibility and the sin is all on her. In the end it's always the woman's fault. :roll: