Infant Maniwhatso - Pearls

[sparkles]

I have to try to put anything concerning the Swines on permaignore. They make me angrier than I ever thought possible and every time I read about something they've had a hand in, it truly makes me sick to my stomach.

[Irishy]

Michael Pearl. Bastard.

I guess the only way to get people to buy into this lifestyle is to beat the fundamentalism into them from infancy and then homeschool em to keep them ignorant. Ah the cult lifestyle...

[heidi]

I regularly babysit a friend's baby who cries and screams when she's hungry (she just four months old), but I would never dream that she was trying to manipulate me. She's just telling me she's hungry because she doesn't have the words to tell me verbally--and since she can't understand "I've got the bottle warming up!" she'll keep screaming until she sees the bottle. Because she's a -baby-

[grovelina]

There is so much crazy here. But the thing that tips me off to the underlying delusion - one day old baby lies because he wants to be held. What brand new parent doesn't want to hold their tiny baby and not let it go? Who expects a child so new he can barely open his eyes to function on an adult enough level to manipulate? My lord, the poor thing's world just changed dramatically, can you blame him for wanting to be held?

[dpndetfarm]

This is so twisted. :( And because I read it in my teen years, when I had my first son at 19 I felt like a complete failure as a mother. The poor thing had colic. He was probably in pain for 3 months, and I had no clue. I just thought he was "angry" at me and all that garbage.

Mf, after my head stopped exploding I immediately thought, "for a colicky baby this could be a death sentence!"

I simply dont understand how this form of parenting hasn't gotten the Pearls arrested. Someone needs to explain this to me. So it makes sense. Good luck.

Finally just to give myself a little laugh, because I needs one. Chotchkeys (sp) your eats poops and pees made me chuckle. Reminded me of the book titled something like Panda eats, snoots and leaves. :lol:

[dawbs]

I just don't understand how they can think it.

If I were good at re-writing (which I'm not) from my daughter's perspective, the first one would go more like this:

I started lying needed so much from day one. I am ashamed of it now so confident in the love of my family, that my needs are no longer so scary to me., but I made scared my sweet (sorry, I'm not sweet)mother because she couldn't tell sometimes if think thatI was hurting or cold, when or ifall I wanted was to be held close .So she (or dad, I keep forgetting that he was a part of this too) would check to see that I was fed, properly clothed, held close and rocked.

I soon learned that I could cry and that she or dad would come to see what I needed/wanted. make her believe that I was hungry when I was not. By the time I was six months old—it hurts me to say it now—but I was displaying anger against the one who gave me life I would get increasingly frustrated by not being able to communicate WHAT I needed/wanted. So they would have to try 47 things...but eventually, they'd find it. They're not as trainable as the dog, but close. Anytime shefailed to immediately meet my wants, I would blow up couldn't figure it out, there would be a cycle of frustration, which caused both of us tears and tantrums but over time, I learned that my parents would always find a way to get me what I needed .At first it was just a little whimpering, but then it got worse, until I found myself kicking and bucking in violent anger. Sometimes I would scream until I was blue in the face.Now that I look back on it, the looks on my parents’ faces were horrible, but I was not sensitive to anyone’s feelings but my own. Which seems awfully normal, because empathy doesn't exist in a tiny baby--nor should it, because if I had said "oh, mom needs more sleep, I'll just ignore my hunger", my tiny body's blood sugar would have plummeted. Luckily, my mom believes the best piece of parenting advice she got was "a baby's wants ARE a baby's needs. only later are they different"

[Emme]

These people would like Melanie Klein's work. She was a psychologist who called babies sadists.. It's more complex than that, but at first read I was like "wtf lady!" and our class discussion immediately made me think of these crazy people. I was telling my friends about blanket training and they were horrified!

[pixydust]

Does Michael Pearl actually think that a new born baby can actually think and reason like an adult? Hell, my 5 year old can't think and reason like an adult! When he is hungry or tired he melts down, how is beating him the thing to do? He needs a hug, a snack, and to lay down with his blanket and sock monkey!

The thing about new babies is so crazy that Im' not sure that i have words for it. Yes I do. studies have shown that babies will not thrive if they are not held. Touch is vital to a baby, that is why they cry to be held. It is instinct. It is for survival.

Michael Pearl is a sadist, that's the only explanation that I can think of.

[VooDooChild]

I started lying from day one. I am ashamed of it now, but I made my sweet mother think that I was hurting or cold, when all I wanted was to be held close. I soon learned that I could make her believe that I was hungry when I was not. By the time I was six months old—it hurts me to say it now—but I was displaying anger against the one who gave me life. Anytime she failed to immediately meet my wants, I would blow up. At first it was just a little whimpering, but then it got worse, until I found myself kicking and bucking in violent anger. Sometimes I would scream until I was blue in the face. Now that I look back on it, the looks on my parents’ faces were horrible, but I was not sensitive to anyone’s feelings but my own. It became an obsession to get my own way and to get it now.

Oh, I don’t blame my parents, I know that I intimidated them, not through strength, but through my weakness. They felt so helpless and inadequate, and I used that to gain even more control. The magazines in the doctor’s office helped me in my conquest toward autonomy. The “professionals†are just little rebellious kids in disguise. I know; I met some of them when I attended counseling with my parents. They have learned to say things with those big words, giving a name to every form of stupid behavior, but they are just big selfish kids trying to justify their own indulgence. They make our patterns of rebellion sound like legitimate childhood stages.

What the ever loving fucking fuck IS this shit?! I hope there is a special place in hell for these people. How does one ever come to believe that an infant is evil and manipulative? Mental illness? Seriously? Somebody help me understand the mental gymnastics needed to believe a clean slate infant has the capacity for evil and manipulation.

Ugh! These people. Thankfully, nobody in my church recommended the Pearls when my kids were little. So I didn't know what they are all about until I found FJ. Had I known any of my friends were using this "method" during my church going days, I would have gone ballistic. How to these idiots sleep at night?

[mkitten]

Everything about the Pearls makes me an instant mountainous volcano of hot, steaming rage ready to erupt EVERYWHERE! What in the name of FSM is wrong with these people? I just don't understand how they can internally justify that an infant while still in the womb at 9 months is "innocent and pure" but 5 hours later after having been born is "lying and manipulative?". :angry-cussing: :angry-cussingblack: :angry-banghead: :angry-fire: :angry-jumpinganger: :angry-steamingears: :angry-screaming:

[sparkles]

My heart breaks for children who are "trained up" this way. They have all powers of reasoning beaten out of them, they "behave" out of fear and not out of understanding, they grow up without compassion and nurturing, they know nothing but torture and terror from those who should be protecting and TEACHING them, and so the cycle of abuse continues. When animals like the Swines point to their children as happy, shining examples of how well their methods work, I just want to vomit. Of course they are. They obey because they know that if they don't, they'll be beaten, humiliated, shamed and degraded, all in the name of god's love.

Frankly, any god that demands this kind of treatment of children by his followers is one righteous piece of shit and is only worthy of my contempt, not my worship.

[Hane]

They call the first three months of a baby's life "the fourth trimester" for a reason. Think of the differences between the baby's former environment and his/her new one--bright lights, noise, dry atmosphere, jostles and bumps uncushioned by amniotic fluid. "All I 'wanted' was to be held close"? How about "needed"?

When my baby was only a couple of months old, my mother and I took her shopping with us. I put the baby in her carseat inside the shopping cart. After a while, she started looking up at me and arching her back--signalling that she wanted to be picked up and held. So of course I did, thinking how clever she was.

I had a neighbor, an otherwise kind lady, who had the idea that holding babies too much would "spoil" them. So her daughter was the kind of mother who would plop her babies in their crib almost all day. One of them self-stimulated/soothed by banging her head against the headboard and rattling the crib so much the bolts were shaken out.

Nah--I'll pick up the baby and hug her, thanks.

[Irishy]

Who wouldn't want to hold a baby? Anyone who has an aversion to holding their own baby and can't make the time to do it, shouldn't breed. End of.

[maybeizfundie]

Mf, after my head stopped exploding I immediately thought, "for a colicky baby this could be a death sentence!"

Yes. Although in my defense, we took him to the doctor and even the ER at one point because of his screaming and were told "It's colick, you can't do anything about it." :(

If I had not had rational family supporting us and keeping reason in the picture ("Honey, no, he's not angry. His tummy is probably hurting hime.") and giving me the occasional break from the screaming, I might have slipped into something worse than PPD. The Pearl's stuff is so dangerous for parents and babies.

I wish I could re-do my first kid's infancy. But I am glad that I had enough sense not to go whole hog with the Pearl's method, even though I let their teaching get under my skin and emotionally tear me up. In the end, I did pick him up, and hold him, and feed him, and nurture him. Feeling like a total failure, but I did meet those needs.

And thankfully got a clue with subsequent children.

Looking at my baby girl now, I feel so sad about the ridiculous perception I had of my oldest. It was stupid. I was still trying to heal from our cult experience and got sucked right into the Pearl's stuff because I was so desperate.

[shesinsane]

Y'all are a bunch of infant enablers. The father is the head of household and all must obey him, even if they are too young to understand what obey means. Ignorance of the law is no excuse. Letting children grow and develop on their own can allow Satan to take hold, you need to control them constantly to make sure they train up in the Godly way you desire. [ /sarcasm]

[Emme]

Y'all are a bunch of infant enablers. The father is the head of household and all must obey him, even if they are too young to understand what obey means. Ignorance of the law is no excuse. Letting children grow and develop on their own can allow Satan to take hold, you need to control them constantly to make sure they train up in the Godly way you desire. [ /sarcasm]

If you left this as a comment, they'd eat it up. That makes me SO SAD.

[thoughtful]

The Pearls are complete filth. But you all know that.

They call the first three months of a baby's life "the fourth trimester" for a reason. Think of the differences between the baby's former environment and his/her new one--bright lights, noise, dry atmosphere, jostles and bumps uncushioned by amniotic fluid. "All I 'wanted' was to be held close"? How about "needed"?

When my baby was only a couple of months old, my mother and I took her shopping with us. I put the baby in her carseat inside the shopping cart. After a while, she started looking up at me and arching her back--signalling that she wanted to be picked up and held. So of course I did, thinking how clever she was.

This.

Think of it -- she even did something other than crying, and you, seeing both her needs as a tiny baby and her individuality as a person, picked up on her signals and eliminated any reason for her discomfort to escalate.

Communication, love, care, and common sense -- you have them, but these are concepts that seem to elude Michael Pearl. He sees a battle of wills because he wants it to be a battle of wills.

Even with his purposefully ignorant "developmental stages are a myth" crap, the whole idea of not meeting needs (or heck, even wants) is incredibly mindless and selfish of him.

Pearl forgets (or ignores) the fact that he, as an adult, goes through his entire day doing and getting whatever the fuck he wants. Yeah, I know if someone said that to him, he'd pontificate about responsibility and following God, but that's bullshit.

I'm an adult, too -- that's how I know it's bullshit. Right now, I'm on FJ, clean and dry, wearing what I want, with my dog nearby, and coffee at my side, ready for a sip whenever I want one.

I interrupted typing this post to do a few things, including cleaning up a bit to make it easier for my Mom to do her laundry and feeding my dog -- meeting the needs of others, true, but because I wanted to do so.

After I leave FJ, I'll do the work I've chosen to do next. When I need something, I get up and walk to where it is. If I had an itch, I'd scratch it. If I had a pain, I'd have myriad ways to treat it. And on and on.

Even with my grown-up, responsible mindset, even as a person who goes to work and knows that money must be earned, car repaired, house cleaned, etc., I get to do and have a lot of what I want, on a minute-by-minute basis. So does Pearl, the selfish asshole.

Babies can't have any of the privileges and pleasures I have and Pearl has, until someone gives it to them.

But damn it, they'd better learn to submit and be silent to get anything from him.

Filth.

[ems]

http://nogreaterjoy.org/audio/infant-manifesto-audio/?utm_source=ngj.me&utm_medium=urlshortener

I don't get sound on my computer so I had to read the transcript. However, this is from a recording that a couple sent to Michael Pearl. Apparently, they agree with his child training methods.

Back ground information. Michael Pearl had written a article called Infant Manifesto in which he pretended to speak as a willfull child. The couple decided to do something similar but record their children reading the words.

These people hate children. I don't understand how any parent could write this and have their innocent kids read it out loud.

OMG this is so f*cked up. :cry:

[ems]

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Michael Pearl is a seething black hole of hatred for children. Those individuals who take his advice have convinced themselves their babies, with the cognitive abilities of a little rodent, could actually manipulate adults (or even differentiate between needs – e.g., food – and wants such as shiny keys and other things that interest and engage them).

I'm not even arguing 'spanking vs non-spanking,' here; I'm talking about parents so bricks-o-shit stupid they honestly believe their infants are not only manipulating them but then deserve punishments so far out of proportion to the crime that the child's death could result. (It wouldn't be the first time.)

These dipshits are not "pro-life." They want control. They want to control their own children absolutely. They want to control the lives of other people's lives - the lives of indivuals whom they believe to still be willful children despite their having earned degrees and learned to use them big ol' fancy words they use to fool parents.

Mikey is not merely wrong; not merely mistaken. He is a deliberate sadist who gets his joy by expanding on the evil he did to his own children by encouraging other idiot parents to emulate the abusive behavior.

I hope he lives to a ripe old age – so old that he must depend on his children for feedings and diaper change. I can pretty much guarantee those last years will be undignified and riddled with elder abuse.

He'll have reaped what he'd sown and I can barely find it within me feel bad about it.

:clap:

[emmiedahl]

I have always heard that Jews traditionally consider a child incapable of wrongdoing until they are 3. Maybe it is just certain Jewish communities? It seems deeply engrained in other Jewish families and not just mine--an infant or toddler is not sophisticated enough to even understand behavior and consequences, much less to control themselves.

I bring this up because Michael Pearl is so hot on the Bible supposedly and reinstating some sort of traditional Palestinian patriarchy, but he ignores the basic culture of traditional Jewish parenting. I am sure child abuse in mainstream Jewish families happens more than I know, but it would be considered abusive and futile by the community and its leaders. I cannot believe that someone who is considered a religious authority would encourage this. How can you build a strong religious community out of abused children?

[Emme]

I have always heard that Jews traditionally consider a child incapable of wrongdoing until they are 3. Maybe it is just certain Jewish communities? It seems deeply engrained in other Jewish families and not just mine--an infant or toddler is not sophisticated enough to even understand behavior and consequences, much less to control themselves.

I bring this up because Michael Pearl is so hot on the Bible supposedly and reinstating some sort of traditional Palestinian patriarchy, but he ignores the basic culture of traditional Jewish parenting. I am sure child abuse in mainstream Jewish families happens more than I know, but it would be considered abusive and futile by the community and its leaders. I cannot believe that someone who is considered a religious authority would encourage this. How can you build a strong religious community out of abused children?

That sounds vaguely familiar.... I'm a pretty cultural/secular Jew, but that deff rings a bell...

[OkToBeTakei]

I am pretty sure in the right hands in a certain setting these little snippets would be considered child abuse.

WHY has this never happened before?

[debrand]

I have always heard that Jews traditionally consider a child incapable of wrongdoing until they are 3. Maybe it is just certain Jewish communities? It seems deeply engrained in other Jewish families and not just mine--an infant or toddler is not sophisticated enough to even understand behavior and consequences, much less to control themselves.

I bring this up because Michael Pearl is so hot on the Bible supposedly and reinstating some sort of traditional Palestinian patriarchy, but he ignores the basic culture of traditional Jewish parenting. I am sure child abuse in mainstream Jewish families happens more than I know, but it would be considered abusive and futile by the community and its leaders. I cannot believe that someone who is considered a religious authority would encourage this. How can you build a strong religious community out of abused children?

The Pearls have often discussed Michael's Jewish roots. Perhaps you could leave a comment explaining this to Michael. It might have some effect and it may not.

I probably don't have to warn you not to leave your real name. These people are crazy.

[Cannelle]

Every time Michael Pearl writes anything, I want to take a brick, womp him on the head until he loses the power of speech, and then spend the rest of his life beating the absolute SHIT out of him every time he makes a noise that isn't clearly a word.

[Dollypeeps]

You are not alone Cannelle.

I am like wtf when reading that. The Pearls are dangerous because they cover this as religion and santioned by god hence how he gets away with it and will continue to sadly. Someone over there needs to change the rules on the Pearls and jail them.