Infant Maniwhatso - Pearls

[debrand]

nogreaterjoy.org/audio/infant-manifesto-audio/?utm_source=ngj.me&utm_medium=urlshortener

I don't get sound on my computer so I had to read the transcript. However, this is from a recording that a couple sent to Michael Pearl. Apparently, they agree with his child training methods.

Back ground information. Michael Pearl had written a article called Infant Manifesto in which he pretended to speak as a willfull child. The couple decided to do something similar but record their children reading the words.

I started lying from day one. I am ashamed of it now, but I made my sweet mother think that I was hurting or cold, when all I wanted was to be held close. I soon learned that I could make her believe that I was hungry when I was not. By the time I was six months old—it hurts me to say it now—but I was displaying anger against the one who gave me life. Anytime she failed to immediately meet my wants, I would blow up. At first it was just a little whimpering, but then it got worse, until I found myself kicking and bucking in violent anger. Sometimes I would scream until I was blue in the face. Now that I look back on it, the looks on my parents’ faces were horrible, but I was not sensitive to anyone’s feelings but my own. It became an obsession to get my own way and to get it now.

Oh, I don’t blame my parents, I know that I intimidated them, not through strength, but through my weakness. They felt so helpless and inadequate, and I used that to gain even more control. The magazines in the doctor’s office helped me in my conquest toward autonomy. The “professionals†are just little rebellious kids in disguise. I know; I met some of them when I attended counseling with my parents. They have learned to say things with those big words, giving a name to every form of stupid behavior, but they are just big selfish kids trying to justify their own indulgence. They make our patterns of rebellion sound like legitimate childhood stages.

These people hate children. I don't understand how any parent could write this and have their innocent kids read it out loud.

[debrand]

According to the article, this is supposed to be a two year old talking. Although the writer is trying to be funny, I don't find this very humorous.

But to my utter amazement, it didn’t go at all like it was supposed to—like it usually did. When it was time for Mother to get red in the face and start jerking everything around, including me, she just smiled and said, “You can eat what is on the table or you can do without.†I knew this was just round one, and that if I looked pitiful enough she would come around, but before I knew what was happening she had lifted me out of the highchair and was cleaning the table. I stood in the floor and let out a blood-curdling scream, and then I felt this awful sting on my bare legs. I didn’t think she was mad enough yet to spank me. She usually waits until she totally loses patience and then strikes out in anger, but this time it almost looked as if she was smiling. She commanded, “Stop crying and go change your clothes.†I let out another scream and “Bam,†another lick with that switch of hers. This was war! I couldn’t let her get away with this; didn’t she know I had control attachment disorder? I turned red in the face and screamed like I have never screamed before. This usually brought compromise, but instead, without another word of warning or threatening, “bam, bam, bamâ€â€”about ten times. I was shocked. My timid mother, whom I had such control over, was suddenly heartless. But after several more futile attempts that all ended at the end of a switch, I jumped up and ran to change my clothes. I never realized that she was so big!

When I came back and demanded something to eat, she told me that in two hours I would be allowed to eat the Quaker mush, without sugar. I would like to say that I had learned my lesson and that in two hours I ate the stuff, but I didn’t. I had trouble at lunch and again at supper. It was three days before I learned that Mother had taken my place as head of the house. I had to eat what she placed in front of me or starve. T

[Claddagh]

:doh:

Really?? Do these people really expect babies to pop out of the womb and instantly be able to communicate their needs? Having your kid read it and trying to shame them? That's just plain warped and disturbing.

When I was born I was told I was a gurgled when it came to wanting something. If that didn't get me the desired result I started crying and I was a screamer when it came to that. Mom and Dad never felt I was being rebellious, but rather being a baby.

[debrand]

:doh:

Really?? Do these people really expect babies to pop out of the womb and instantly be able to communicate their needs? Having your kid read it and trying to shame them? That's just plain warped and disturbing.

When I was born I was told I was a gurgled when it came to wanting something. If that didn't get me the desired result I started crying and I was a screamer when it came to that. Mom and Dad never felt I was being rebellious, but rather being a baby.

After reading the Infant Maniwhatso, I am surprised that there aren't more children killed by using Pearl's methods. They present parents and kids as being in a war to gain control over one another.

[Minerva]

:doh:

Really?? Do these people really expect babies to pop out of the womb and instantly be able to communicate their needs? Having your kid read it and trying to shame them? That's just plain warped and disturbing.

When I was born I was told I was a gurgled when it came to wanting something. If that didn't get me the desired result I started crying and I was a screamer when it came to that. Mom and Dad never felt I was being rebellious, but rather being a baby.

Hell, they expect babies to pop out of the womb with a functional long-term memory and be able to write a memoir by age 2.

[ILoveJellybeans]

These people must really hate children :(

Babies arent crying because they want to manipulate their parents, they cry because thats the only way they can communicate their needs.

[Claddagh]

After reading the Infant Maniwhatso, I am surprised that there aren't more children killed by using Pearl's methods. They present parents and kids as being in a war to gain control over one another.

It's disturbing reading about what they say.

Little kids will test boundries and sometimes can be fustrating but it shouldn't be a war. There are times children will annoy the hell out of their parents but it's also a part of growing up.

I saw your post about the food. When I was little I was expected to eat X amount of each meal. Once I was old enough I was told if I didn't like what was for dinner I should go into the kitchen and make my own food.

[lilith]

They are advocating hitting a two year old with an implement what seems like dozens of times and starving the child for three days til it is hungry enough to eat cold three day old oatmeal (unsweetened, of course).

How is this not abusive, by any standard, even one that accepts corporal punishment?

[Conuly]

1. People who hate their kids really ought to be in therapy. I mean, really.

2. Note the little dig at education and 'big words' as well. Because only ignorant people are wise...?

[Sunnichick31]

My comment will never see the light of day, but here it is.

"This is disgusting. Babies aren't trying to manipulate parents. Babies don't purposely try to deceive parents in order to be held. Babies cry because that's the only way they can communicate. Toddlers push boundries because that's how the learn where the boundries are. Anyone who believes this load of rubbish should not be a parent."

[NjoyingNsanity]

As a mother of five the youngest of which being only seven months old these people make me sick I hope the God they worship has a special place in Hell for them. I could never in a million years imagine spanking a tiny little baby for crying it's their only way of communicating. Are these people really that selfish, or are the just too damn stupid to realize babies cry for a reason? They call themselves righteous, but they are the purest form of evil, anyone who could hurt a baby doesn't have the love of God in them that's for sure. I look at my daughter and I couldn't imagine hurting her I love to hold and cuddle her, it's not spoiling it's called nurturing, and guess what she rarely cries not unless she is hungry, has a dirty diaper or something hurts. Generally she is a happy easy-going baby, why because she knows her needs are going to be met. These people are idiots and cruel to boot the fact that they are allowed to breed makes me doubt the existence of God.

[Guest Anonymous]

I read the first post and I could not read anything more (so I'm sorry if this is redundant). That is the most horrific, awful thing that a person could ever think. A baby, an innocent child, is manipulating them? For real? That is such bullshit. I cannot imagine the kind of hatefulness that is necessary to read such terrible motives into the actions of a baby.

This is the part where I scream with anger and misery.

[snarkbillie]

Crime of the century is that a baby wants to be held and loved? Fucksake.

What the ever loving shit is wrong with these people?!

I loved holding my babies. I wanted them to feel like I would totally cuddle them whenever they wanted. That's how they feel safe. Geez.

[GiGi_41]

The Pearl's are horrible, horrible, horrible.

[JMarie]

How does a one day old infant lie??

[fiverpipkin]

Holy crap, this is disgusting. Babies don't... think complicated enough thoughts to be devious or manipulating- they cry because they need something.Ugh. Hitting a baby is evil. :evil:

[BabyFullOfSin]

Ah yes, the inspiration for my name.

Absolutely fucking crazy people - they are disgusting :evil:

I have an 8 month old baby and it makes my heart hurt that someone could see evil in her or any other infant.

[Myfanwy]

Legitimate childhood stages??? Who ever thought there could be such a thing? What a preposterous idea!

All this baby training and stay-at-home daughtering and stupid courtship crap makes me weep for this world.

[ilovetchotchkes]

How are these asshats not in jail? My 9 week old is not manipulating me . Babies are simply ... They eat poop and pee that is their job. And hitting babies, like every time I see crap from the pearls I think how are these idiots not in jail?!?!

I shudder to think of what they would do to my son. He's a firecracker of a kid!

[Want More Babies]

I will be able to sleep at night when Michael and Debi are 1) behind bars or 2) dead.

The fact that people listen to their abusive bullshit really angers me.

[Burris]

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Michael Pearl is a seething black hole of hatred for children. Those individuals who take his advice have convinced themselves their babies, with the cognitive abilities of a little rodent, could actually manipulate adults (or even differentiate between needs – e.g., food – and wants such as shiny keys and other things that interest and engage them).

I'm not even arguing 'spanking vs non-spanking,' here; I'm talking about parents so bricks-o-shit stupid they honestly believe their infants are not only manipulating them but then deserve punishments so far out of proportion to the crime that the child's death could result. (It wouldn't be the first time.)

These dipshits are not "pro-life." They want control. They want to control their own children absolutely. They want to control the lives of other people's lives - the lives of indivuals whom they believe to still be willful children despite their having earned degrees and learned to use them big ol' fancy words they use to fool parents.

Mikey is not merely wrong; not merely mistaken. He is a deliberate sadist who gets his joy by expanding on the evil he did to his own children by encouraging other idiot parents to emulate the abusive behavior.

I hope he lives to a ripe old age – so old that he must depend on his children for feedings and diaper change. I can pretty much guarantee those last years will be undignified and riddled with elder abuse.

He'll have reaped what he'd sown and I can barely find it within me feel bad about it.

[maybeizfundie]

This is so twisted. :( And because I read it in my teen years, when I had my first son at 19 I felt like a complete failure as a mother. The poor thing had colic. He was probably in pain for 3 months, and I had no clue. I just thought he was "angry" at me and all that garbage. I am thankful that I did not follow their advice about what to do with an "angry" baby. But just thinking that stuff did a real number on me and I'm sure it played a part in the depression I experienced during that time. :(

Honestly life became much more pleasant once I got a clue that babies have real needs, and only one way to communicate them, pretty much. If I meet those needs, for the most part, we're good. It's not nearly as exhausting to just meet those needs than it is to agonize over how I'm failing to bring up a righteous child.

[2xx1xy1JD]

I hate that whole mindset with a passion. I see it as actually poisoning parents against their children. Let's face it: babies and toddlers, by nature, will cry, will wake up at night, will have tantrums, will have preferences and will express those preferences by crying if they can't talk yet. Parenting can be tiring, and the message that you are forever spoiling your child by not forcing them to bend to your will can start to seep in.

I'm grateful that I was able to learn a very different message when my kids were young. I learned that before you could possibly think in terms of disobedience, you had to focus on the basic groundwork. Was the child properly fed? Thirsty? Was the child getting enough sleep? Was the child feeling well? It was up to the parents to make sure that the child's particular needs were met, and to try to figure out how to soothe a fussy baby. In doing so, the parent would learn to respond to the specific needs and personality of their child, and develop a strong attachment. That attachment would then serve as a basis for moral education, since the child would naturally WANT to listen to the parent and follow that parent's example.

Child #1 would signal hunger by screaming at the top of her little lungs. She also refused to sleep alone, and clearly hated her crib. As she got older, she had extreme aversions to some foods. Eventually, I realized that she had reflux and it was physically painful for her to be hungry. I also realized that she hated to be alone, but had a strong attachment to us. She would react badly if she had low blood sugar, so she needed to eat regularly and she had strong food preferences. Once we figured this all out, life was easier. Sleep and food were practical issues, not discipline issues. She was actually a pretty easy child, discipline-wise, because she was so attached that she would automatically stick by my side and want to please us and do what we said. Fundie-style parenting advice like that spewed by the Pearls would have made her issues worse and destroyed the very things that led to good discipline.

Same with child #2. She was very independent, pretty much from birth. We could have seen that as being "willfull", but instead we gradually realized that she had definite likes and dislikes, was very bright and wanted her independence. Once we respected that, we had a great relationship. Again, the Pearls' advice would have attached the greatest thing about her.

Ditto again with child #3. He's a great kid, cheerful and energetic and happy....unless he needs sleep. Unlike his sisters, he needed LOTS of sleep, on time, with his blankie. He still does. Pear advice on beating a tired toddler up past his bedtime would have been a complete disaster. Instead, we all learned to respect his need for sleep. As he got older, he learned that being tired makes a cranky chemical called cortisol in the brain, and that he had to go to sleep on time to avoid it. Problem solved.

[BlueberryBird]

Why is child development theory always so thoroughly and contemptuously dismissed?

I freely admit to not being one to goo goo over babies, but, good grief, this stuff should be obvious to anyone. Do they acknowledge developmental stages in puppies and kittens? Do they paper train their dogs or expect that to be automatic?

I can write the Pearls off as evil, vile people, but I just can't understand how they developed and have managed to keep,such a following. It's not rational.

It's also self-fulfilling. Growing up, I went to school with kids who had very strict parents who would whip/beat/spank for any and every infraction. These tended to be the kids my mom steered me away from because she found them sly, untrustworthy, and dishonest. Granted my sample size isn't huge, but when I think of kids who habitually lied, I think of them. They always had things to hide.

[Just_Jane]

That is disgusting. I've typed and deleted other words but I'm just going with that is disgusting.