Does "family camping trip" = "we are now homeless"? (merged)

[jockosmom]

Wow - just. . wow. I have been thinking about them, wondering how things were going. I hope things are better for them in New Hampshire. Re-connecting with estranged family always sounds like a good idea when you're desperate but just because people are related to you doesn't mean you can get along with them long-term better than anybody else. I have been to Moscow, Idaho. It seems like a nice mid-size town, although it's a college town so I think it's a little upscale in terms of what type of housing would be available. I wonder if they checked out Lewiston, about 30 miles to the south. Lewiston, ID-Clarkston, WA is a nice community, too, I think. More blue-collar and larger so there would be more job opportunities, I would think.

I think one of their main problems is that they're both going to need to WORK. Like, at a real job, getting up out of the sack every morning and going to the job. I know Jason worked in WY but he doesn't seem to be have any education or skills that would get him a really good job. And Brandy doesn't seem like she wants to work. I mean, I'm all for stay-at-home moms when you have the option of choosing that, but I think they both need to work in order to provide properly for their children. Hopefully, they can get a new start and things will go better for Brandy and Jason.

[waterlily]

Does Stephanie even get discussed here anymore? I forgot about her. I'll add her to my blog list.

I'm actually kind of bummed the Stephanie thing fell through. I was looking forward to some awesome blogging from that dynamic duo.

[Mustang Sally]

Does Stephanie even get discussed here anymore? I forgot about her. I'll add her to my blog list.

Only occasionally. It's weird, but even though she and her husband seem crazy (subliminal messages in everything, tobacco is good for you, etc.) they basically lay low and seem to enjoy their life way out in the country.

[waterlily]

She is certainly an interesting woman to read about via her blog.

Only occasionally. It's weird, but even though she and her husband seem crazy (subliminal messages in everything, tobacco is good for you, etc.) they basically lay low and seem to enjoy their life way out in the country.

[pixydust]

I'm glad that the "camping out" was a temp thing, and it sounds like they tried hard to find a home. I hope that things work out and that they both get mental help.

[Ex 2x2]

See, I don't see them as having tried very hard. To me, trying hard would be getting J-O-B-S. Not waiting for a blogger friend to rescue them. Not spending your money on piercings and barrels of wheat and tea when you are about to be homeless. They have children. Time to grow up and take care of them.

[Sola]

I'm glad they are getting some support from Jason's family. I've no idea what they are like but some support surely is better than none.

Brandy, if you read this, please, PLEASE, get some mental health help for Jason and for you. You've mentioned that you didn't have a stable upbringing, and how that has affected you. Well you aren't giving your daughters a stable upbringing either and that cycle will repeat unless YOU break it. Is this life that you have been leading what you want for your daughters?

Get help, and stick with it.

[Witsec7]

I don't see living with Jason's family as working. Didn't they try this once before and thats why they fled to WY? This is just another reinvention. They do the same shit the same way time after time and are always surprised when the results turn out the same.

riffle

[Koala]

The thought of those children going cold at night hurts my heart. The thought of Brandy and Jason not having enough to eat breaks my heart. I don't care who they are and what they've done, they don't deserve that.

Like others have said, this move to Jason's family home is a decision made in desperation. It's the only thing they've got, so I'm glad they're doing it, but I still think it's going to end badly. Those poor little girls have never known a moment of stability.

[Wolfie]

I'm just amazed that no one would step in and help. As has already been said here in the UK a family that had children under 16 would be re-homed immediately as the local authority has a duty of care to help them. Most local councils have emergency housing available and if all the houses really are taken then, again as has already been said, the family would be placed in a B&B.

I think that a major difference here is that some people CHOOSE to live like this, so it can be really hard to force them to get the help to keep the kids with a roof. I have mentioned before that there are people living in schoolbuses and tents/yurts in my county. Some live very well that way, others are in poverty. But if you tell them that they can't they yell that it is their right. There is also a case of where do you draw the line at it being their right. (This could somewhat be compared to the worry we have over the "sparkling" situation in Australia right now.)

(I do live in a county with housing assistance. I also teach in another county with housing assistance, but have had students who were living in motels, or with other family members because they didn't have a home. Some of these people are the tea party types who would rather die than take government assistance too!)

[Mustang Sally]

The thought of those children going cold at night hurts my heart. The thought of Brandy and Jason not having enough to eat breaks my heart. I don't care who they are and what they've done, they don't deserve that.

Like others have said, this move to Jason's family home is a decision made in desperation. It's the only thing they've got, so I'm glad they're doing it, but I still think it's going to end badly. Those poor little girls have never known a moment of stability.

I agree. I hope I'm wrong, but I agree.

[starfish]

I don't know about the lack of leadership business, but I do think Jason is lazy.

Get a job, Jason. A real one. You're young and healthy---get a job. You've got the whole country to choose from.

Find some work, or at least a stable situation for those kids. Playing video games 24/7 is for people who don't have children.

"Lack of leadership", good grief, is that what they call mental illness these days?

Winter is cold in New Hampshire, so I've heard. I sure hope they've got a handle on this situation.

And whatever else happens, I sure hope they don't meet Emily and Dan at some New England Support Group for Those Prosecuted by

The Vile Female Blggers of Free Jinger.

[fundiefan]

I agree. I hope I'm wrong, but I agree.

I agree too. They did this when she was pregnant with their youngest daughter. They burned the bridges after a year of help and support and tore off to the other side of the country because it's what god wanted them to do. As soon as they believe themselves to be on their feet again, they'll cut the family and run. The family will have expectations and opinions and values and conversations and input and those things don't work in their world. They'll be running away again in a year unless somehow they stop making excuses and actually get to the core of the matter.

Their mental health - both of them. Their lack of persecution. The fact that they are responsible for their lives and no god is going to do a damn thing to give them money, make them happy or fix things - - - they have to work for it and put in effort, real effort. Too many pieces for them to manage, I think.

Sadly, they have two children who will forever suffer the consequences.

Camping is fun. Living in a tent because you can't live anywhere else is not. I hope those kids never, ever knew the reality and I hope that no matter how unstable I think their futures will be, they will get something from their time with their family to hold onto for the future.

[StarrieEyedKat]

Those poor girls. :( I can't imagine what their life must be like, with such an incredible lack of stability, among other things.

[jesssnerch]

Brandy's life gives me the sadz. Those poor girls; I hope that someday they'll be able to lead normal lives.

[Mustang Sally]

Maybe this will sound dumb, but I think Brandy reads here. Even though she had a falling out with FJ that mirrors her fallings-out with every other friend or family relation in her life, perhaps putting up some links to resources she could access in NH would be helpful.

Even books or websites people would suggest she read to help deal with her issues. She mentions she was abused by her dad as a child. Anyone know any good links or books? This is not my area of expertise.

[Glass Cowcatcher]

Maybe this will sound dumb, but I think Brandy reads here. Even though she had a falling out with FJ that mirrors her fallings-out with every other friend or family relation in her life, perhaps putting up some links to resources she could access in NH would be helpful.

Even books or websites people would suggest she read to help deal with her issues. She mentions she was abused by her dad as a child. Anyone know any good links or books? This is not my area of expertise.

We've piddled around with the idea of making a resources sticky thread, but, ultimately, you can lead a fundy to water but you can't make them drink.

[starfish]

A good start for Brandy would be to put the kids in public schools once she arrives in NH.

It seems like NH is a nice place to live, and I bet the schools are good. The girls could get some structure. They could ride the bus to school, eat the free lunch, and have teachers who care about them. The girls need a break from the chaos of their homelife. Not to put too much off on public schools, but often they are the starting point for folks to get help and access to other resources.

So, I believe the first place to start is enrollment in school. They will arrive just in time for the new school year. A fresh start.

I sometimes have a little fantasy about chucking it all and moving to New England. I always think of Vermont as an ideal place to live, but the dear spouse says NH is the place to go. Dear Spouse is somewhat more conservative than me. If we have any New Englander FJ reading the thread, chime in on what's great about living up there. Maybe we can help Brandy feel enthused about what it has to offer. (although she seems happy enough about going). The best thing for Brandy, though, is family support right now.

And I hope she can bring her cats with them.

[starfish]

And Brandy, if you are reading here, don't let the fact that schools usually require vaccinations stop you from placing the girls in public schools. Even though I would strongly urge you to take advantage of free vacinations through the public health office, I believe every state allows you to have a conscientious objection waiver of vacinations on file.

And I know it's hard for you to allow them to attend public schools, but just give it a trial run. See what they have to offer. Explain to the school officials that you have been homeschooling, and see if they can pick up where you left off. If it helps, think of it as a trial run and re-assess in December or Christmas break.

[Koala]

I agree Starfish. I think school public school would provide many wonderful opportunities for Brandy's girls.

[deelaem]

We've piddled around with the idea of making a resources sticky thread, but, ultimately, you can lead a fundy to water but you can't make them drink.

That's true, but if you lead them to Kool-Aid, man oh man do they drink it down! LOL

[Gil]

A good start for Brandy would be to put the kids in public schools once she arrives in NH.

It seems like NH is a nice place to live, and I bet the schools are good. The girls could get some structure. They could ride the bus to school, eat the free lunch, and have teachers who care about them. The girls need a break from the chaos of their homelife. Not to put too much off on public schools, but often they are the starting point for folks to get help and access to other resources.

So, I believe the first place to start is enrollment in school. They will arrive just in time for the new school year. A fresh start.

I sometimes have a little fantasy about chucking it all and moving to New England. I always think of Vermont as an ideal place to live, but the dear spouse says NH is the place to go. Dear Spouse is somewhat more conservative than me. If we have any New Englander FJ reading the thread, chime in on what's great about living up there. Maybe we can help Brandy feel enthused about what it has to offer. (although she seems happy enough about going). The best thing for Brandy, though, is family support right now.

And I hope she can bring her cats with them.

New England really is beautiful. Depending on where you live, there can be a lot of various wildlife and really gorgeous old farms. For homeschooling, if Brandy ever gets serious, there are a lot of reasonably cheap museums. My area has a lot of colonial-era museums. There's good locally grown options, the public school systems tend to be pretty good (hint hint) and, for the most part (some areas, maybe not) it tends to be a pretty quiet, reasonable little area.

Just my experience. But you could do a whole lot worse than NH, Brandy.

[LynnJ0516]

Can't say I'm super excited about Brandy being in my neighborhood but I really do have hope for her daughters that they will finally get a decent education and life once they get settled. New Hampshire has an awesome quality of life, good public schools, and affordable housing. Shopping is always tax free which is a plus :D If she looks on craigslist for apartments I can guarantee she will find a nice place with affordable rent. Oh, the cats can stay too. http://nh.craigslist.org/search/apa?que ... dTwo=purrr

[starfish]

Are there job opportunities for Jason there? I probably shouldn't have been so harsh to call him lazy in a previous post.

I don't think he's lazy. He's just chronically underemployed. The jobs he's held seem more appropriate for a high school student than a married man with two kids. She's said he has mental issues, also. I am being unfair to him it seems.

I wonder if the military would be an option for him? I know its not a panacea, and not everyone can qualify for it these days.

It's a fine line of work though. He might be able to pick up a trade and get some educational benefits as well. He should go talk to the recruiters from each of the braches and see if there are opportunities there. Isn't the Coast Guard there on the New England coast ?

I know NH isn't exactly the coast, but it wouldn't be too far. Just trying to throw some positive thoughts out there in case Brandy cares to read over here.

Unlike where I live, I am confident NH has actual seasons. We're still scorching hot, and my friends in eastern Canada say they are starting to get cooler. Come September, I always monitor the Vermont foliage sites where they show the photos of the beautiful scenery and track it down from north to south.

Hope everyone is having a good Saturday.

[Oddeverything]

If Jason isn't work-shy, they should look into North Dakota. The oil boom there is still in effect and they can't get enough workers for any jobs. Fast food joints are paying $15 an hour so even if Jason couldn't get a job in the actual oil industry (serious bank if he could - some of them are making $80K a year entry level), given the standard of living they've had, he could keep them afloat slinging burgers.

I have no idea why anyone would think Moscow, Idaho would be an ideal place to settle. It's a nice enough place but it's always been a small, college town and a fast look online shows that the median household income there is around $28K. Bearing in mind the number of college professionals who work at the two colleges in town and probably make in the $40-$60K range annually, that means the rest of the jobs there must really be low paying.

I can't help but wonder what it was that made them think Moscow was the place to be. I would love to have been a fly on the tent wall during that conversation.