Lori Alexander 10: Fickle Brained Woman (and she would know)

[molecule]

It's amazing how much Lori can reveal about herself when pointing out the sins of others. There have been several times I've considered emailing her about something or other since I am involved in marriage ministry and mentoring women (although in a different way than Lori does, thank goodness)--but every time, I've stopped myself for fear that she might write about me in her blog, seeing as how I'm far from perfect. Lori is a harsh old holier-than-thou biddy. And I wish she'd get it through her frikkin' head that women who are feminists don't want to be men. I have no desire to be a man. I enjoy being a woman. I'm even wearing a modest dress right now. I am also a Christian feminist.

[Loveday]

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She is not a believer and knew about my blog...

And yet Lori wrote about her in such an ugly way.

Lori, I have a feeling your next conversation with this woman--if you even have one--is going to be extremely interesting. And not in a good way, either. 

[polecat]

Lori, you're such a hateful person. 

Do you know why your friend was leery of sharing her daughter's website with you? Because she knew how you were, and she didn't want you publicly trashing her daughter. 

Meanwhile, your own daughters wear fairly revealing clothing from time to time and you yourself have been known to wear revealing clothing. Funny how you don't share A's blog with your readers, either.

Just because you don't like the way Ken goes all 

Spoiler

 

every time he sees a woman's skin doesn't mean you get to shame women who dress differently than you. How about you expect him to control his own behavior?

If my pubescent sons can manage to treat young women at the pool with respect and decency, then your aging pornstachio'd Lothario damn well can, too.

Stop. Shaming. Women, you twit. And learn to be a better friend. I hope she never reads your hateful words and learns what you really think about her and her daughter.

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I asked her if she wants to be like a man. She exclaimed, "No! I love it when my husband opens doors for me and grabs me by the elbow to help me across the street." Concerning my viral post, she responded, "I don't want my husband to do the housework. He works so hard all day. He certainly does not need to do housework." {So far, she doesn't sound much like a feminist!}

 

You have no clue what feminism is, do you? 

[TeddyBonkers]

2 hours ago, jerkit said:

Lori, this is not how you treat your unbelieving friends. At all.

Her "friends". Like our Lori would deign to mingle amongst sinners- that never happened in the Bible!!

[EmiGirl]

And this is why they don't invite Lori on their ladies' weekends.

[Florita]

Lori is entertaining some push-back on FB today. I found this response from Lori to be particularly telling of how she views her place:

Per Lori, women cannot be trusted to discern between indigestion and God. BUT, if you want to know God's will ask an older Godly woman - who apparently doesn't get indigestion?? And notice what she completely leaves out - PRAYER. As in "but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God." By the tone of this thread I would guess Lori does not believe God answers prayers, so women should just check with her instead. She knows His will for you.

[Emilycharlotte]

Regarding the woman she compared to a prostitute because she is loud--- I remember the last time she was on this topic, a worried reader said that she has a loud voice and a boisterous personality, and she doesn't want to sin, but basically it's hard to remember to never be yourself. Lori told her not to worry, that meek and quiet referred to inner qualities, like peacefulness, not to your personality.

On top of everything else, she and Ken are so inconsistent, all the time. I swear they just make stuff up depending on their mood that day.

[Imrlgoddess]

Ya know...reading through Lori's "God will never speak AUDIBLY to someone these days" drivel...it really makes me want to jack with her and blow her little mind and say:  Ya know Lori...you're right.  God would never, ever speak audibly to a human.  Why (literally) blow their non-ethereal minds when you have a Seraphim named Metatron to deliver your messages for you? Gabriel was messenger numero uno for all the most important Biblical and Qu'ran(ical) messages to be doled out.  Lori, you're pretty high and mighty to question God's methods.  Who are you to say who does and doesn't experience the voice or touch of God?  Don't be jealous that poor little Anna Nicole Smith got some angel play and you never have.  

 

[Gemini]

 as Lori considers herself the most important woman in the world and God didn't talk to her,  there is no way she's believing he had the audacity to speak to anyone else.

Although tbf Jesus could personally write an email to Lori and she'd delete it and Call him out on her blog for hanging out with the 'wrong' crowd. 

[smittykins]

Well, Jesus was wrong!  Ken rode in on his Mighty Horse of Truth to say that!

[desertvixen]

Well, honestly, I don't see what wearing a bikini has to do with not being able to praise God.  I mean (for those who believe), he MADE my body.

[louisa05]

12 hours ago, Koala said:

She is just so nasty to her readers.  

A reader on FB wrote about being convicted that she shouldn't wear bikinis anymore:

Now one might think that Lori could just leave it at that.  After all, she's a "soft, feminine woman" (according to yesterday's post), and a soft feminine women "doesn't argue her point over and over but allows the other person to have the last word".  But that was yesterday.  And that rule doesn't apply to Lori.  It applies to other people. 

Lori:

You don't need conviction from God!  You need conviction from Lori.  She has higher standards than God anyway.  Everything he knows, he learned from her.

And  at the "mother who teaches them to be modest" bit.  How'd that work for you Lori?  Does your daughter (who you say "walks with Jesus") live up to your modesty standards?  I know you say you have "have higher standards than most in our culture".  

See, I have no problem with the way Lori's daughter dresses.  I wouldn't be comfortable with it myself, but more power to her.  But the fact that Lori has chosen to shame another woman's daughter just absolutely outrages me.  The hypocrisy is just over the top.

My mother helped me pick out a new bikini a few years ago. She also shortened a skirt for me once that she thought was totally too long for me--it hit in an awkward place just a bit too far below the knee, she shortened it to about four inches above the knee. It did look better. And I have nice legs. 

Clearly she is a complete failure as a mother. 

Of course, she also showed up at church and acted approving when I converted to evil pagan Catholicism. So there is no hope for her. 

[Hisey]

3 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

My mother helped me pick out a new bikini a few years ago. She also shortened a skirt for me once that she thought was totally too long for me--it hit in an awkward place just a bit too far below the knee, she shortened it to about four inches above the knee. It did look better. And I have nice legs. 

Clearly she is a complete failure as a mother. 

Of course, she also showed up at church and acted approving when I converted to evil pagan Catholicism. So there is no hope for her. 

Hell, I've given my daughter money to buy a bikini in the past. And, now that she has a clothing allowance, some of my money is going to buy thongs. Not my choice, personally, but I'm fine with it. I have faith in her, know that she has a good head on her shoulders, and think it's great she is learning about clothes and fashion. I trust her to make good choices. I also trust that the young men around her can control their "passions" and behave themselves. And they do.

[Koala]

Lori's advice on how not to get raped:

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Teach them to dress modestly, don't walk alone at night, don't get drunk or stoned at parties, don't sleep with someone who is not your husband, don't drive alone at night, always be alert, lock your doors when you drive, etc. Give her a lot of practical advice to help her not be in a position to be raped and make it easy for a man.

[sophie10130]

I am so glad I am past that point in my life when every man I interact with is a would-be rapist. I am SO glad I don't live that life anymore because it was absolutely terrifying!

Is my shirt buttoned all the way? If I stand like this can he peek through the buttons? Did someone see me when I bent over to pick my keys off the ground? 

I wonder what Lori would say if someone pointed out that women who wear hijabs get raped and some of those women won't even shake hands with men. What are they doing wrong in Lori's eyes in terms of modesty? I'm sure she would deflect and talk about their religion, but whatever.

[iweartanktops]

On 7/21/2016 at 1:47 PM, polecat said:

She went straight for the jugular, and why? The reader was respectful and really didn't disagree.

I wonder if Lori's asshole is ever jealous of the sheer volume of shit that spews out of her face.

Maybe it's not feminine for me to use that kind of language. But if I say it in a baby voice and with a keep-sweet smile, we can pretend like it's just as feminine as Lori calling her reader a prostitute, mkay?

Thank you!  this is one of the best things I've read all week! 

1 hour ago, Koala said:

Lori's advice on how not to get raped:

Funny... When I was raped I was following all of Lori's guidelines. I guess I somehow made it easy for him. Fuck you, Lori. 

[December]

9 hours ago, Florita said:

Lori is entertaining some push-back on FB today. I found this response from Lori to be particularly telling of how she views her place:

Per Lori, women cannot be trusted to discern between indigestion and God. BUT, if you want to know God's will ask an older Godly woman - who apparently doesn't get indigestion?? And notice what she completely leaves out - PRAYER. As in "but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God." By the tone of this thread I would guess Lori does not believe God answers prayers, so women should just check with her instead. She knows His will for you.

She's got a mighty high opinion of herself that she's special enough to understand and hear Gods word when other ladies can't. Could these issues of godly indigestion not be solved with some Pepto?

[Florita]

3 hours ago, December said:

She's got a mighty high opinion of herself that she's special enough to understand and hear Gods word when other ladies can't. Could these issues of godly indigestion not be solved with some Pepto?

I've been imaging Scrooge all day:

"You may be an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of underdone potato. There's more of gravy than of grave about you, whatever you are!”

[polecat]

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Dress to please the Lord and not cause a brother to stumble. Usually this will mean to not show a lot of flesh, not too tightly fitted clothing, and not too short. 

 

I'm curious as to what her dancing daughter wore when she danced as a child/teen under Lori's roof. I know what she wears now (and have no judgement for it). Dancers need to be able to move freely and easily, which means they wear pretty much only tightly fitted, short clothing. I find it really hard to believe that under Lori's roof, her child wore loose-fitting, long, shapeless dancewear. 

And I'm just floored that Lori never talked about rape with her kids. I guess it shouldn't surprise me. It's not a fun conversation, but it is an important one that we need to have with both boys and girls. You don't touch anyone without their permission (start teaching this in toddlerhood). Ask before you give hugs or kisses. And when they get older, the conversations can get tougher -- but they are very, very necessary. 

[Loveday]

Lori's topic today is 'terrible' advice for girls vs her advice.  

This is from Spencer McFarland on Instagram. I swear this person knows my daughter, because the description fits her to a T:

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Advice for girls: be loud and gross and take up space. Stop saying 'sorry' and start saying 'don't interrupt me.' Stop saying 'Because I have a boyfriend' and start saying 'because I said so.' Say 'no' and say 'none of your business.' Take selfies and don't laugh at jokes that aren't funny. Be snide and sarcastic and wear your hair the way you like it. Help out other girls and be vocal about what makes you mad. Be masculine and feminine and both and neither and be unabologetic. Don't set aside your comfort for boys' egos.

And of course, Lori totally and quite spectacularly misses the entire point:

 

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Advice for girls: be quiet and discreet and love others more than yourself. Start saying "I'm sorry" and stop saying "because I said so." Say "yes" to those in need and say "can I help you?" Stop taking selfies and laugh at jokes that are decent and silly. Be kind and speak truth and wear your hair to please the LORD. Help out other girls and be vocal about the good and the lovely. Enjoy being soft and feminine and apologize quickly when wrong. Don't give away your purity to anyone until you are married.

[louisa05]

I'm afraid that I have no idea how to wear my hair to please the Lord. I do not actually know what that means. Lori can't mean never cut it, because her hair is clearly cut. She can't mean wear it ridiculously long, since her hair is not. 

Oh, wait, she might mean that...do as I say, not as I do is her main teaching, after all. 

But I still don't know how to wear my hair to please the Lord. I have to say that I have never heard that phrase or instruction anywhere. Ever. 

[jerkit]

Yeah I'm not sure what pleases the Lord with regards to hair. My hair just does what it does. It's long, red, and wavy. Does that make Jesus happy?

[Loveday]

Mine's as short and 'whispy' as Erika Shupe's. So I think I'm good with the Lord. 

[iweartanktops]

3 hours ago, polecat said:

I'm curious as to what her dancing daughter wore when she danced as a child/teen under Lori's roof. I know what she wears now (and have no judgement for it). Dancers need to be able to move freely and easily, which means they wear pretty much only tightly fitted, short clothing. I find it really hard to believe that under Lori's roof, her child wore loose-fitting, long, shapeless dancewear. 

And I'm just floored that Lori never talked about rape with her kids. I guess it shouldn't surprise me. It's not a fun conversation, but it is an important one that we need to have with both boys and girls. You don't touch anyone without their permission (start teaching this in toddlerhood). Ask before you give hugs or kisses. And when they get older, the conversations can get tougher -- but they are very, very necessary. 

The way fundies approach these issues is appalling! I wouldn't call my mom a fundie, but she certainly borders on it. Sadly, she was raped and molested by a couple of different men, on a regular basis throughout her adolescence. You would think her experiences would help her to talk to us (her children) about these issues appropriately. Nope. Instead, she constantly obsessed over my modesty. Especially once I began to develop. Every damn day, it was "stop standing that way, you're sticking out your chest (I was a ballerina with great posture), those shorts are too short, you may not wear a two piece bathing suit while you live in my home, etc." None of those rules protected me from being raped. In fact, I blamed myself for a long time, because I was wearing a spaghetti strap tank top that day. You know, because it was a warm day. I felt like I invited him, a man I thought I trusted, to rape me because I was wearing a tank top and my bra strap was showing. 

19 minutes ago, Loveday said:

Mine's as short and 'whispy' as Erika Shupe's. So I think I'm good with the Lord. 

Definitely! Mine isn't. It's shoulder length. I wonder if that pleases the Lord? 

[polecat]

28 minutes ago, jerkit said:

Yeah I'm not sure what pleases the Lord with regards to hair. My hair just does what it does. It's long, red, and wavy. Does that make Jesus happy?

 

My hair is long, dark blonde and stick-straight. So no, your hair does not please the Lord. It should look just exactly like mine. 

 

(Also, I'm really, really jealous! I was born a redhead. I'm not sure what happened, but it all fell out around two and came back in blonde, and it's been blonde ever since. Blah.) 

9 minutes ago, iweartanktops said:

The way fundies approach these issues is appalling! I wouldn't call my mom a fundie, but she certainly borders on it. Sadly, she was raped and molested by a couple of different men, on a regular basis throughout her adolescence. You would think her experiences would help her to talk to us (her children) about these issues appropriately. Nope. Instead, she constantly obsessed over my modesty. Especially once I began to develop. Every damn day, it was "stop standing that way, you're sticking out your chest (I was a ballerina with great posture), those shorts are too short, you may not wear a two piece bathing suit while you live in my home, etc." None of those rules protected me from being raped. In fact, I blamed myself for a long time, because I was wearing a spaghetti strap tank top that day. You know, because it was a warm day. I felt like I invited him, a man I thought I trusted, to rape me because I was wearing a tank top and my bra strap was showing. 

 

*big huge hugs* if you want them. I'm so sorry.

My mom never really talked to me, either, other than to instill in me all the old standby fundyisms about not tempting men. Rape isn't about temptation, though, and it's not about sex. I will never understand why so many people are eager to give men a pass while condemning women.