Worst thing about being an ex fundie...

[Deleted08]

Loneliness is a big thing, that's true.

A friend of mine got kicked from the same group so I looked her up and we emailed

back and forth a bit. She's got 8 kids I think now.

She said they were debating Sabbath and before she could defend herself, she got

banned and that was it. I couldn't believe it.

Nothing was worse than a woman having an opinion, and being right.

I haven't heard from her again because she's still fundie but at least the group wasn't

just an asshole to me.

[nolongerIFBx]

There's also something weird about knowing that other people don't understand the way I grew up. .

This is one good thing I can say about "X kids and Counting". Most people at least have some knowledge of who the Duggars are so when I try to explain my childhood I say, "Think the Duggars; I was raised like that, just with birth control." Not completely true but trying to explain the differences between IFBx and ATI would be overkill in most situations.

[alysee]

This is one good thing I can say about "X kids and Counting". Most people at least have some knowledge of who the Duggars are so when I try to explain my childhood I say, "Think the Duggars; I was raised like that, just with birth control." Not completely true but trying to explain the differences between IFBx and ATI would be overkill in most situations.

It's better than saying like the Amish except without the adult baptism thing. I was so thankful that I had to wear a uniform in high school because it was so much better than plain(no prints! Prints aren't modest!) long dresses with tights and long johns in the winter! And I am so thankful my mom sent us to Catholic school unlike my younger cousins who are homeschooled!

[tacky]

Initially, losing all of the friends I'd had since childhood. The most lasting for me, however, were the residual flashes of guilt and "OMG, I'm going to hell."

[pixydust]

Initially, losing all of the friends I'd had since childhood. The most lasting for me, however, were the residual flashes of guilt and "OMG, I'm going to hell."

Ugh, I had those "I'm going to hell" flashes for years! I had to decide that if I was wrong, and I did end up in hell, that I was ok with it. I'd rather be happy in the here and now.

[thoughtful]

This thread has moved me to tears (and that's not easy to do).

I knew that some of our posters here are former fundamentalists, and, intellectually, I guess it comes as no surprise that there is an ongoing struggle for many.

But to see people whose intelligent, kind, strong words I have read, sharing that they still feel guilt and fear of Hell hanging over them, that the new way of seeing the world for which they fought is still sometimes elusive, really moved me.

I wish you all continued strength in your journeys.

[ilovetchotchkes]

Ugh, I had those "I'm going to hell" flashes for years! I had to decide that if I was wrong, and I did end up in hell, that I was ok with it. I'd rather be happy in the here and now.

I didn't grow up fundie and I've used this argument.

What's interesting is how quick the mentality seeps in- I remember in the "Unlikely Disciple" book by Kevin Roose (he goes to Liberty U for a semester) he said that when he visited a relative and saw a gay couple holding hands, even though he was OK with it, he had a hard time not staring. :(

I can't imagine a life time of it being drilled into your head and then breaking out. My thoughts are with you guys- stay strong.

[Witsec7]

Thanks for putting it into words thoughtful. And thank's to all contributing on this thread.

[flojo]

I figured I'd chip in. I was fundy light, never full on fundy (although i considered it). I guess the best example is not Duggar level (although I knew/know a few people in ATI, and knew a few QF families). It was more VERY evangelical. People I knew moved in the same circles as Ray Comfort, if that gives you an example of the type of thing - so not as strongly patriachal, women could work etc.

For me there were two things. One was walking away from the community. The community we had was awesome.

The other one is moving away from a security of spirituality. There is a huge security in knowing "where things ar at", even if that is just through a concept.