Why Fundies Are Douchebags

[Kathryn31]

That is horrid! Tell them that God gave us doctors who can say "You will DIE if you attempt any other children". When we didn't want any more kids an appointment was made with the snip dr. Who would say that crap to a postpartum woman that nearly died?

Congratulations on your new baby!

[NurseNell]

That is horrid! Tell them that God gave us doctors who can say "You will DIE if you attempt any other children". When we didn't want any more kids an appointment was made with the snip dr. Who would say that crap to a postpartum woman that nearly died?

Plenty of people. I knew a woman, strict Catholic, who nearly died with #11, emergency C-Section. The Catholic doctors in the Catholic hospital wanted to do a hysterectomy, and could have under the circumstances, but the husband said no. If God wanted his wife to die in childbirth then that's the way it was to be. He'd have never touched me again but she did have a 12th.

[Gizmola]

Plenty of people. I knew a woman, strict Catholic, who nearly died with #11, emergency C-Section. The Catholic doctors in the Catholic hospital wanted to do a hysterectomy, and could have under the circumstances, but the husband said no. If God wanted his wife to die in childbirth then that's the way it was to be. He'd have never touched me again but she did have a 12th.

If a man made that decision for me or even slightly agreed with that kind of thinking I wouldn't be the only thing he'd not touch again, for I'd make sure he and his rod of glory were separated post haste.

[NurseNell]

If a man made that decision for me or even slightly agreed with that kind of thinking I wouldn't be the only thing he'd not touch again, for I'd make sure he and his rod of glory were separated post haste.

I agree. I just looked the couple up, they are both still alive, he's 80, she's 76, which means she was in her late 40's when this incident happened. I thought surely he'd have died because he had pretty significant heart disease.

[anniebgood]

Plenty of people. I knew a woman, strict Catholic, who nearly died with #11, emergency C-Section. The Catholic doctors in the Catholic hospital wanted to do a hysterectomy, and could have under the circumstances, but the husband said no. If God wanted his wife to die in childbirth then that's the way it was to be. He'd have never touched me again but she did have a 12th.

My mom would tell me stories of some of the Catholic farm women who'd come in for 7th or 8th baby, babies they could not afford and have them at the Catholic Hospital she worked at. No one even dare mention birth control to them because the Holy Father said it was a sin. What's a bigger sin? Having more kids than you can afford to feed or not having any more? Central Wisconsin had lots of big families that were running out of space on their farms because of it.

BAck to SableDuck, Congratulations and may you and the ducklings live long lives and be happy.

[meda]

Congrats on the duckling, and at the same time I'm sorry for the mindnumbing insensitivity you and your family are dealing with. I'm sure Your toddler has a better grasp of the idea that one shouldn't say mean things than these so called Christians

[ilovetchotchkes]

Plenty of people. I knew a woman, strict Catholic, who nearly died with #11, emergency C-Section. The Catholic doctors in the Catholic hospital wanted to do a hysterectomy, and could have under the circumstances, but the husband said no. If God wanted his wife to die in childbirth then that's the way it was to be. He'd have never touched me again but she did have a 12th.

Yeah, my husband would never ever ever touch me again either. :evil:

[BlondeAsTheyCome]

Congratulations on your new baby girl!

I'm very sorry that people are being totally inappropriate with their comments. It is your uterus and health. If they truly believe that children are a blessing from the Lord, then they should be rejoicing with you and your family in the 2 children that you have.

I'm also very sorry that you are not able to have more children, as you expressed the desire to. I'm sure that is a very tough spot to be in at any point in life, but especially after just having a baby. I don't know if you are a huggy person or not, but, if you are, hugs to you.

Wishing you all the best!

[Koala]

Sableduck! Welcome back and congratulations on the new baby!

So sorry you are surrounded by idiots. :( Screw them.

[ilovetchotchkes]

And i'm a complete ditz! CONGRATS on the DUCKLING!!!! :D

[chaotic life]

Feminists in medicine have fought long and hard to STOP the unnecessary removal of femal organs simply because we might not *need* them anymore. Yet, the religious fundies (regardless of their religion) necessitate that doctors REMOVE organs, or they will continue to put women at risk for death by leaving their organs intact. Ticks me off royally.

I'm a firm believer in not taking parts of my body unless they absolutely cannot be saved. So, when I hemmoraghed in my last birth, I was very firm that the doctor needed to try to SAVE my uterus. I was the same way this year when I had to have an edometrial ablation and had to keep fighting to find a doctor willing to ablate and not merely remove organs. However, I cannot give birth again. I required 3 units of blood after my last birth, and that was not counting that my body nearly shut down and I showed signs of both kidney and liver shut down when they induced labor at 35 weeks to protect both of us.

I was smart. I was already leaving QF when it happened. So, it was an easy understanding to ME that DH had to go get snipped and put an end to it. We lost a lot of friends who felt we were wrong to stop more babies when the doctor left my uterus inside of me. Yes, she left it inside of me, I had explicitly told her she was only take it if she absolutely could not avoid taking it. I was concious on that table and not about to agree to having it removed, even if it did take her 1.5 hours after removing the baby to stop the bleeding and put me back together.

Yes, I was told I was supposed to still have babies. I simply told the naysayers that with 8 children, I had clearly done my duty to go forth and multiply and I had no intention of not sticking around to see those children raised.

I knew a QF woman who had a uterine rupture and was told her uterus was paper-thin. When I knew her she was on her second baby after that point. The doctors kept telling her that she was going to kill herself and her babies and she kept arguing that if it was truly that big of a risk they would have taken her uterus, otherwise she was going to let God be glorified. I have a QF now who is expecting #9. I haven't had the heart to tell her congratulations. She's had heart issues for the last three pregancies, needs to be followed by a cardiologist and has had 3 trips to the ICU from it. I figure this one might actually kill her and I can't be happy about that. She admitted to me two babies ago that she needed to stop or she might die. However, she's QF and can't stop. That might show she doesn't trust GOD enough.

[Witsec7]

One of the things I notice on the large family fb page (http://www.facebook.com/largefamilies) is that women with 8 children are actively seeking to get pregnant. Some are on clomid after 7 kids. To me leaving your deity in charge of childbearing means no planning. But these woman are actively working at having more children. It was a head desk moment for me.

[FundiesInMyFamily]

To me leaving your deity in charge of childbearing means no planning. But these woman are actively working at having more children. It was a head desk moment for me.

The hypocracy burns with the QFers. You have to leave your children "up to god" and not use birth control to stop it, yet they are actively trying for more. If you're not supposed to try and stop it, shouldn't you not be doubling up for more too?

[SomewhatFundy]

If you're going through menopause then they took your ovaries also. In young women who need a hysterectomy they usually try to leave the ovaries, or at least one.

Yup. There were some other issues there besides the bleeding. I had to have the whole shebang taken out. No fun.

[Swamptribe]

these people are not your friends.

[Hane]

QF fundies, repeat after me: "Other people's reproductive habits are none of my business." Especially if the "people" in question are your own kids. ( I'd love more grandkids, but keep my yap shut: it's not my decision to make.)

[holothuroidea]

Welcome to the world little sableduckling! :D

I'm so sorry your family plans have been so abruptly derailed. :(

People can be really insensitive. They clearly have no idea what they're talking about and are blinded by their stupid idealism. Maybe one day reality will bite them in the ass and bring them back to their senses.

[Mela99]

"If God didn't want you to have more children, he would have told the doctor to do a hysterectomy. He didn't, so it's a sin for you to get sterilized." (Because God wants both me and my child to die, leaving the two young children I already have motherless. Riiiiight.)

Uh... since when do fundies listen to doctors like that?

[thoughtful]

Wait . . . what?

The only thing to say to someone in your position is:

1. Congratulations on your wonderful new baby!

2. I'm so sorry you had to go through such a scare. I hope you are not in pain, and that you heal quickly and completely.

3. I know you wanted more children -- I'm sorry you can't have that dream, but I'm glad you are protecting your health and safety.

And so, I say all of the above.

Because I am not a douchebag.

[debrand]

Those comments really made me angry for you sableduck. I'm glad that you love your children enough to stay safe and healthy. Good for you. And congratulations on your new little ducky. :D

[kb2]

It's pretty impolite to sign someone else up for martyrdom. Stupid.

[nimerha]

Congratulations on your new baby! And best of luck and a speedy recovery to you.

As for those sorry excuses for humanity, I would like to invoke St Alan.

[Sola]

Congratulations on the new little sweetie!

As for your fundie 'friends', they aren't friends. If they are trying to encourage you to do something that you know could kill you, then they are not friends. Jumping off your roof may kill you, or you may survive and be crippled. They wouldn't encourage you to do that, so why encourage you to have another baby which well leave you dead or crippled. Plus you could end up taking another life (which they see as equivalent to yours) with you.

I would have loved another baby but my first was a horrible delivery which left my bits in a mess and a small prolapse, my second was a twin pregnancy which went pre-eclampsic from 19 weeks to premature delivery at 26 weeks. By the time that was over I was left with a severe prolapse, a rectocele, a cystocele and although I didn't know it until last year, grade 3/4 endometriosis. My reproductive bits were beyond salvage and I had a hysterectomy - best thing I ever did - last year. Had I gone and tried for another baby, I probably wouldn't have conceived with the endo and even if I had, I've history of pre-e at 19 weeks and subsequent pre-e's tend to get earlier. Had I got past that stage it is highly unlikely I would have carried to term due to the prolapse. But according to the quiverfull crowd, someone with my medical history should continue on to get pregnant, despite the effect on my health and the fact that premature delivery had already resulted in the death of one baby.

I don't care whether they think there is a god or not, there comes a time when your body is saying enough is enough. That might be after your second baby, or it might be after your 19th - I'm looking at you J'chelle.

[ADoyle90815]

Congratulations on the new baby! Since I'm not a douchebag, that's pretty much what I would have said. Those fundies are not your friends, as they're trying to convince you to do something that would kill you. In my opinion, a loving God would use a doctor's advice to stop having children for your safety as a sign that it's time to stop. I would even say that God allows things like Essure, tubal ligation, and vasectomies to save the lives of women who would die if they had another pregnancy. If fundies think I'm an evil slut for thinking that, then I accept it as a compliment.