Why Fundies Are Douchebags

[sableduck]

For the record, my husband and I grew up fairly fundie. We are no where near that now and neither are our families for the most part, but we still have a lot of fundies in our lives.

As I mentioned in another thread, we had our second child last week. It's a long story, but I wound up with a 6 cm uterine rupture. I didn't have a hysterectomy, but I clearly cannot have any more children. For the record, I did want one or two more, but it's just not a possibility. I will be getting Essure placed to make absolutely sure. Well, this news has gotten around to our fundie friends. Here is just a sampling of the comments(and please bear in mind that I DID want more children and I AM sad that it's not an option).

"If God didn't want you to have more children, he would have told the doctor to do a hysterectomy. He didn't, so it's a sin for you to get sterilized." (Because God wants both me and my child to die, leaving the two young children I already have motherless. Riiiiight.)

"If it is really that serious to your health, pray that God will close your womb. If he allows you to conceive again, trust that he will protect you." (No, I think God will be saying, Stupid, didn't I make myself clear on the future kids thing when your uterus split almost completely in half? Wasn't that a good enough sign?)

And my favorite....

"If you do conceive and die in the process, God will reward your willingness to be obedient to him and lay your body down as a sacrifice." (Have I mentioned the two young children I already have? Why is a non-existant child, who would probably also die, so much more important than their need for a mother?)

Douchebags. I'm already post partum and upset, and their nonsense is ridiculous.

[takers401]

I'm so sorry that you're receiving those comments. :( Hug your baby tight and know that the decisions you're making are good ones.

[Witsec7]

Tell them to get the fuck out of your uterus and mind their own business.

Your children need you, if there is a god of compassion and unconditional love, she understands your decision.

[Doomed Harlottt]

Congratulations on your baby!!!!! And I haven't seen the other thread, I hope you are okay and healthy under the circumstances, notwithstanding the rupture. And good for you for making the decision to protect your health.

I agree 100% with the douchebagginess (not to mention misogyny!) of telling women to risk their lives for some hypothetical future baby.

[constantgardener]

They are pathetic. They should just be thankful you and your new little one are alive and well. Your (sensible) decisions are nothing to do with anyone else.

And congratulations on your new daughter!

[CanadianHippie]

Why the hell can't they just accept that the doctor informing you the dangers of having another child is God's way of saying "don't have another child"?

Also congrats, and hope you have a speedy recovery and lots of good snuggle times with the ducklings.

[Doomed Harlottt]

Er, I just realized my comment is poorly written. I don't with the douchebagginess. I agree that what they are saying is douchebaggy.

[NurseNell]

"If it is really that serious to your health, pray that God will close your womb.

There's that damn expression again. :evil:

I'm glad you survived, and sorry you can't have more children. What was the reason given for not doing a hysterectomy? It must have been very scary for you and your husband.

[Rosa]

I'm so glad you survived, and what total fucknuts. I mean, seriously; why do they assume God would have spoken to some random-ass doctor ABOUT you but not directly TO you? Is God your passive-aggressive cousin?

[Maude]

This is just another example of people talking out of their asses. It's easy to make snap judgements about a situation you've never been in. :snooty:

Congratulations, sableduck!

[AtroposHeart]

Congrats! On yout baby

Do not let any of those jerks get to you!

[SealFan1963]

Congratulations on your new baby!

Why can't these fundies understand that God also gave us common sense and the ability to make the right decision. I'm sorry they were so insensitive in their remarks to you.

[Minerva]

Congrats on the baby!

Why on earth would someone recommend a hysterectomy over Essure?

[CanadianHippie]

Congrats on the baby!

Why on earth would someone recommend a hysterectomy over Essure?

It's not recommending a hysterectomy over essure, it's "if God didn't think you could have more children he would have made you sick enough to need a hysterectomy."

[sableduck]

What she said...it is pretty much the assumption that I would have had no control over a hysterectomy, I would have been bleeding so bad the uterus had to come out. Because I have control over it, birth control is wrong.

I'm not entirely certain anyone knows we are definite on sterilization; they just know the doctor has said no more kids and we plan to follow that. (Obviously. Duh.)

Basically what irks me is that the doctor would have been the voice of God if he had done a hysterectomy, but because he didn't, he isn't the voice of God becuase he doesn't agree with the fundies. It blows my mind.

NurseNell, I"m not sure why, to be honest. I was pretty sick and out of it when everything was explained to me. I work in the medical field and knew the seriousness of the rupture he was describing to me, but I didn't think to ask why he didn't just remove the uterus. It may be that they were able to control the bleeding with stitches; I truly don't know.

[sableduck]

Oh and thanks for the congrats! She's a beautiful baby!

[Gizmola]

Congrats on coming out of that safely with a new baby. I am really sorry you cannot have more children.

Those people are, to me, downright evil and should not be listened to at all.

[Minerva]

What she said...it is pretty much the assumption that I would have had no control over a hysterectomy, I would have been bleeding so bad the uterus had to come out. Because I have control over it, birth control is wrong.

I'm not entirely certain anyone knows we are definite on sterilization; they just know the doctor has said no more kids and we plan to follow that. (Obviously. Duh.)

Basically what irks me is that the doctor would have been the voice of God if he had done a hysterectomy, but because he didn't, he isn't the voice of God becuase he doesn't agree with the fundies. It blows my mind.

NurseNell, I"m not sure why, to be honest. I was pretty sick and out of it when everything was explained to me. I work in the medical field and knew the seriousness of the rupture he was describing to me, but I didn't think to ask why he didn't just remove the uterus. It may be that they were able to control the bleeding with stitches; I truly don't know.

The only woman I know who has had a hysterectomy has lost some movement (not too noticeable, but she used to be able to sit up without using her arms and she now has to push herself up). I also believe there is a greater risk of prolapse of other organs into the vagina if the uterus is no longer there taking up space.

[NurseNell]

The only woman I know who has had a hysterectomy has lost some movement (not too noticeable, but she used to be able to sit up without using her arms and she now has to push herself up). I also believe there is a greater risk of prolapse of other organs into the vagina if the uterus is no longer there taking up space.

That comes with age, not from a hysterectomy.

[SomewhatFundy]

You really don't want a hysterectomy if you can help it. I had to have an emergency one with my last daughter, and now at 26 I am going through menopause. It sucks, and had I of had the option you have to do Essure I would have taken it.

Ignore their silly comments. It has nothing to do with you, they just feel compelled to do this one upmanship as childbearing martyrs. It makes them feel superior to you to make these snotty comments, because deep down they are unconfident in their parenting/childbearing choices. Nobody who is truly confident and proud of their choices feels the need to bully other people when they have made a different choice. It makes me wonder if they are jealous.

My sister is considerably more "fundy" than I am, and she made some unkind remarks after my hysterectomy. I guess I should have just let myself die in her opinion. Oh well, no wonder we aren't close. :roll:

Just enjoy your little one, and shut out the naysayers. No reason to let them upset you bonding time with your baby!

[Patsy]

Congratulations on that beautiful new soul :D

[NurseNell]

You really don't want a hysterectomy if you can help it. I had to have an emergency one with my last daughter, and now at 26 I am going through menopause. It sucks, and had I of had the option you have to do Essure I would have taken it.

If you're going through menopause then they took your ovaries also. In young women who need a hysterectomy they usually try to leave the ovaries, or at least one.

[Hane]

Tell them to get the fuck out of your uterus and mind their own business.

Your children need you, if there is a god of compassion and unconditional love, she understands your decision.

What she said.

Like you, I always wanted to have more children but couldn't. I'm just grateful for the one I have. Congrats on your new baby, and we're all hoping you a quick and pain-free recovery.

[Deleted05]

What fools.

Congrats on the new Sableduckling. I hope your recovery goes well.

[Elle]

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with comments like that. It's not like you're not already dealing with a crushing blow is it. They just have to throw some salt on the wound.

If Essure can stop god from making you conceive, then he must not be very powerful. Just shoot that back at them. If god could make a virgin get pregnant and then have a child of the sex requiring the opposite of any chromosomes she could pass on, then a couple little coils shouldn't be able to prevent a conception between two people having sex that god really wants to happen, right?