How many FJ's were home schooled?

[ladyamylynn]

I know we have a fair number of home schooling parents here. How many of us were themselves home schooled? I was until the 8th grade. Talk about a rough time to get dumped into public school. My older sister was home schooled through sophomore year of high school. Younger was through 2nd grade. What are your thoughts about your home schooling experience?

[holierthanyou]

I was home schooled.

As an adult, I strongly support our national public school system.

Enough said.

[Destiny]

I was...all the way through until college. I have mixed feelings about home schooling. It worked for me, because I am very self-motivated to learn, and don't really need to be checked up on. My parents had very little to do with helping me learn after junior high, so if I didn't enjoy learning my life could well be very different. My parents made sure I spent time with other kids, so socialisation wasn't as much of a problem as it is for the fundies that we follow. I had chances to be in a band, be on the flag team, to play sports, things like that.

I got a quality education, but I also see the flaws. I'm 33 years old and part of me is sorry that I never got a chance to do things like prom, or a real graduation. I think homeschooling can work, but I really don't think I would homeschool my hypothetical child.

Sorry if this is incoherent. I'm a bit high on painkillers atm. :)

[ilovetchotchkes]

I was home schooled.

As an adult, I strongly support our national public school system.

Enough said.

And I had the exact opposite experience. I didn't know England was an island until high school. Our local high school required 4 years of gym class but 2 years of English.(which mercifully i did not go to, I got sent to a private school because my dad was lucky to work for them and score free tuition) I kid you not.

I'm planning tentatively on homeschooling my kids but if they're behind or not doing well, I am more than willing to explore other options because I need to do what's best for the kids not some hippy woo woo ideal as a crunchy mom.

[PokaDot]

I think my mom tried a home school group (I vaguely remember going to people's houses and learning stuff), but I got into a special pilot school (bilingual everything), so that ended any type of home schooling she wanted to do.

[ladypuglover]

I wish I had been as I missed a lot of early education while in and out of the hospital. My public school at that time was a k-12 building with only 300 students. A very tiny school with bigotted, misogynistic teachers who hated anyone not born there. I wasn't born there and 4 of my 5 grade school teachers went to jail/prison for child abuse against students. Thankfully we moved to a much better school system and with the help of my older 3 sons grade school teachers i was able to overcome my fear of them hurting/abusing/killing my children.

[Anise]

I was homeschooled until university as well.

I have mixed feelings about my education because I feel that my critical thinking skills were never truly developed when I was homeschooled. I personally do not plan on homeschooling if I have children because I know how hard it is for children to have parent-teachers. I will also say that I have to deal with social anxiety that was a result of very lonely teen years. Not everyone's experience is like this of course- much depends on the parents and the environment.

[holierthanyou]

And I had the exact opposite experience. I didn't know England was an island until high school. Our local high school required 4 years of gym class but 2 years of English.(which mercifully i did not go to, I got sent to a private school because my dad was lucky to work for them and score free tuition) I kid you not.

I'm planning tentatively on homeschooling my kids but if they're behind or not doing well, I am more than willing to explore other options because I need to do what's best for the kids not some hippy woo woo ideal as a crunchy mom.

ilovethcotchkes, Sorry, I didn't explain myself well. I think one of the reasons that public schools are great is because of all the social safety nets, diagnoses, etc, etc that falls under that umbrella of public schooling. A child with autism will be diagnosed as such at some point if they are attending public schools. Children who divulge information about family violence, being left alone for extended periods of time etc, should be triggering further investigation by Child Protective Services if they divulge those things at school. Schools also screen for a plethora of health, cognitive and social skill development for children at all stages.

I also love that, at least here, all socio-economic groups are represented in the public school system. It is not abnormal for millionaires to send their children to public school. Public schools also work against systems of bigotry, and it's a great way for all children to hear, from at least one adult in their lives, that racism, sexism, homophobia, islamophobia, etc are not ok.

I don't think public schools are the epitome of the perfect academic education, but if I had children I would feel confident that I can help them practice and learn extra academics at home. I would not feel as confident that I could screen for handwriting issues that should result in an occupational therapy referral.

Maybe that seems like dumb reasons to support public schools, but of course I am shaped by my own experiences.

[Conuly]

I wasn't, but I was so insanely miserable at school that as a child (and honestly, as an adult) I wished I had been. I also learned very little at school (even in the gifted classes) until high school. Mostly I already knew what they were "teaching" me, so I was both miserable AND bored.

My nieces aren't homeschooled either, and one loves school and the other is... well... she's not really a joiner or a teacher pleaser, and life at school can be hard for those sorts of kids. (Plus, last year she told The Popular Girl to her face that she thought she was mean. That didn't make Popular Girl any nicer, stunningly enough.) Were they my kids, I'd be strongly tempted to homeschool them, however, just to avoid the homework. God, I hate that stuff. Just doing all the education at home (or out and about in the real world) would be better than having them come home and making them do what is primarily busywork for 30 minutes or more.

I think one of the reasons that public schools are great is because of all the social safety nets, diagnoses, etc, etc that falls under that umbrella of public schooling. A child with autism will be diagnosed as such at some point if they are attending public schools.

In the US, at least, that part of the system definitely doesn't work as well as it's supposed to. Unless you're a pushy parent, nothing ever gets done, even if your kid is theoretically caught by the various safety nets. And in many districts there's a real push to avoid acknowledging problems, so parents and well-meaning teachers often get the run-around when children need services.

[WanderingStar]

Looking back, I don't regret my time in public school, as they did help shape the kind of person I've become, but I do sometimes wish I had been homeschooled instead. My school had all the typical problems of public school--limited advanced placement programs, teachers doing nothing about bullying, underfunded extracurriculars, etc.--but on top of that, uniforms of all things helped kill my education. We had relatively simple uniforms made of items that could be found even at Walmart, but teachers and other staff members often spent so long inspecting kids' uniforms as the dress code became more and more restrictive as well as arguing with the violators, that some days actual class time was maybe about twenty minutes. Which, of course, usually resulted in more homework.

Sometimes I think if I had been homeschooled, I could've learned certain things like algebra not only in a much less distractive environment, but also at my own pace. I was suffering burnout the closer I got to graduation and it showed.

The main reason I wasn't allowed to homeschool was because my parents were worried I'd miss out on good socialization opportunities, but most of those "opportunities" were jokes.

[ilovetchotchkes]

ilovethcotchkes, Sorry, I didn't explain myself well. I think one of the reasons that public schools are great is because of all the social safety nets, diagnoses, etc, etc that falls under that umbrella of public schooling. A child with autism will be diagnosed as such at some point if they are attending public schools. Children who divulge information about family violence, being left alone for extended periods of time etc, should be triggering further investigation by Child Protective Services if they divulge those things at school. Schools also screen for a plethora of health, cognitive and social skill development for children at all stages.

I also love that, at least here, all socio-economic groups are represented in the public school system. It is not abnormal for millionaires to send their children to public school. Public schools also work against systems of bigotry, and it's a great way for all children to hear, from at least one adult in their lives, that racism, sexism, homophobia, islamophobia, etc are not ok.

I don't think public schools are the epitome of the perfect academic education, but if I had children I would feel confident that I can help them practice and learn extra academics at home. I would not feel as confident that I could screen for handwriting issues that should result in an occupational therapy referral.

Maybe that seems like dumb reasons to support public schools, but of course I am shaped by my own experiences.

And for me, sadly the violence happened AT school. Other kids breaking my violin, STEALING my violin, slamming me and my limbs into locker doors and shutting them... My parents got NOWHERE and I was told "just to ignore it". But then again, my experiences in the public school were HORRIBLE. Like, I tell people about it years later and nobody believes me. Parochial school it was better, but likely because my dad was on staff there. So my experiences were the complete opposite of yours but I completely understand your reasoning!

As far as the isms.... LOL we joke that my kids are going to be the most tolerant humans ALIVE regardless of schooling. We joke that our kids are gonna come to us and "come out" as gay or bi or trans and we're going to say "oh thank G-d, we were scared you were going to go Quiverful Fundie on us!" :lol:

However, i'm VERY lucky as my parents are both educators and my MIL is in early Childhood development. I'm a unique case in that I've told them MULTIPLE times, should something be abnormal, to give me a heads up regardless of whether my kid is in school or not. we're planning on sending them to the Jewish preschool affiliated with our shul, however, it only goes to age 5.... If it went past that, i'd send them IN A HEARTBEAT.

[marmalade]

I have to diconnect and tell my own story. If I had been homeschooled, I would have died in early childhood.

My "parents" adopted my brother and me, without the research they do now. Our "mother" was a full-blown alcoholic. My hubby saw a run of pics roll over the computer a few days ago and didn't really connect what I told him about the alcoholic, poison that I had to deal with and raise my little brother (until she stroked out - 3rd time - at age 49). In some pictures where she was holding me about 6 mos. old. He thought she was my grandmother; he also thought it was my grandmother (I didn't have the masters to scan until fairly recently.

My dad, in the midst of all of her shit, including nursing homes after strokes - she died before I turned 11 - always was active in the school. In the third grade, I desiged an unintentional concentric pattern of broken circles for the long hallway that stood until maybe 10 years ago.

Thank myself for finally realizing I'm not a princess and I had to do it for myself.

[OohLaLa]

I was homeschooled 1st-10th grades. I am not a fan. I know there are homeschooling parents on here, so I don't mean to offend or assume that my experiences are in any way representative of all, but I am still very bitter about it. I feel like even the things I did learn well (like history), I learned with such a bias from my parents' political and religious beliefs that I'm still trying to learn what's true and what has been misrepresented. Math I struggled with. My dad taught me math and his learning style could not be more different than mine and he would get so frustrated with me when I couldn't understand. Made me feel stupid. And science I'll freely admit I will probably never catch up on since most of my science education came from Answers in Genesis-type materials.

And worst of all, I was so indoctrinated with obeying without question, never being rude or talking back, believing what I was told, etc., that I am having an incredibly hard time of it as an adult learning how to think for myself and stand up for myself and developing critical thinking skills. I was so grateful for the relative normalcy of the last 2 years of high school. Not that they were easy (who is high school easy for), but I wouldn't have missed out on them for anything. I finally got to be around peers (and ones different from me), take part in school plays, date, go to prom, take classes I would have had no way of having at home, etc. I had, and still have, a long way to go, but it was a great starting point.

[MalibusLove]

I was home schooled on and off through Second grade due to some pretty crappy illness and some surgeries, spent 3rd through 9th grade in public school, and then went back to homeschooling for a couple of years and then got my GED when I was 16. Straight to college after that (wasn't emotionally ready for that though, so I quit and lived with my parents and just worked at Walmart for a while until I was really ready for adult life). I really liked being home schooled, I have always been an introvert, and even when I went back to college I took as many classes as I could get away with as correspondence or online classes. I really disliked public school, and I think that there were some definite issues that could have been solved if I hadn't just "fallen through the cracks". My DP is the same way, he had a lot going on that the public schools could have helped with, but didn't. He didn't have the benefits of homeschooling, but he does have loving family that helped him as best as they could when the school ignored the problems. I think that every child is different, and I hope that homeschooling works out for my future spawn, because I loved it and I have such a distrust for the public system. But, if they need public schooling, or want it... Well, that's just fine with me, too. :)

[terranova]

Wow I didn't realise there was such a strong anti homeschooling sentiment here. I HATED school with a vengence and thankfully my Mother was not one to force me to go. When I was 11 she discovered John Holt, suggested homeschooling to me and there was no turning back then. My sister left 6 months later, she was 7. I tell prospective homeschooling parents that it isn't for everyone, but it was for me and it was for my sister. I firmly believe I wouldn't be the person I am today if I had stayed in the schooling system. It jus didn't work for me.

[Guest Anonymous]

And I had the exact opposite experience. I didn't know England was an island until high school. Our local high school required 4 years of gym class but 2 years of English.(which mercifully i did not go to, I got sent to a private school because my dad was lucky to work for them and score free tuition) I kid you not.

I'm planning tentatively on homeschooling my kids but if they're behind or not doing well, I am more than willing to explore other options because I need to do what's best for the kids not some hippy woo woo ideal as a crunchy mom.

Please teach your kids that England is not an island, but is firmly attached to both Wales and Scotland! :mrgreen:

[JesusFightClub]

Please teach your kids that England is not an island, but is firmly attached to both Wales and Scotland! :mrgreen:

YES THIS

I'm in favour of independence but Scotland will still be geographically attached! Look at us on the map ilovetchotchkes, we're the pointy bit wi aw the wee islands hoverin' aboot oor collective heid ;)

[Hane]

Wow I didn't realise there was such a strong anti homeschooling sentiment here. I HATED school with a vengence and thankfully my Mother was not one to force me to go. When I was 11 she discovered John Holt, suggested homeschooling to me and there was no turning back then. My sister left 6 months later, she was 7. I tell prospective homeschooling parents that it isn't for everyone, but it was for me and it was for my sister. I firmly believe I wouldn't be the person I am today if I had stayed in the schooling system. It jus didn't work for me.

I don't see a strong anti-homeschooling sentiment here; I just see instances in which people acknowledge that it can be done both very well and very badly. Back in the '80s, I knew of two vastly different homeschooling families in my town. One was part of a fundamentalist Christian homeschooling cooperative, and one was the family of our newspaper editor. The editor's kids were constantly doing all kinds of cool independent study things, like being involved in professional drama groups.

[valsa]

I will also say that I have to deal with social anxiety that was a result of very lonely teen years.

Social anxiety or social awkwardness?

I have social anxiety as part of a GAD diagnosis (generalized anxiety disorder) and the disorder isn't caused by loneliness. However, if your social anxiety is triggered by social awkwardness, I can see how not having a lot of experiences interacting with people could affect it.

I actually had the opposite experience growing up. There are some grades I unsuccessfully begged to be homeschooled (particularly middle school) because I had such bad social anxiety. I used to be chronically absent from school because my social anxiety would manifest physical symptoms (stomach pains, headaches, chronic exhaustion) I'm pretty sure I was the only straight-A student at my school who was required to take summer school (I had no problem getting great grades but my excessive absences put me at risk for not getting credit) I still suffer some effects from going years with my anxiety constantly being cranked up to 11.

That being said, I will not be homeschooling my kids. I am not "teacher material". Once they get older, if they're willing and able to do what I wanted to do (basically teach myself at home as I was a bright and self-directed learner), I'd be open to that. I do think there should be more oversight and required certification in homeschooling though.

[Rachel333]

I was home-schooled through ninth grade, and I am also not a fan of homeschooling. I appreciate having a thread for people who actually were home-schooled. I feel like home-schooling parents ignore the feelings of people who were home-schooled and disliked it. I don't think homeschooling is always bad -- in some situations I think it can be great -- but even when I'm only sharing my experience people get upset because I don't talk about homeschooling in glowing terms.

I think early on my education was as good or better than public schools, but it got worse and worse as I got older. It's really easy to slack off when you home-school, and every single home-schooler I knew did it quite badly. I'm sure there are some who don't, but they're definitely the exception. It seems like home-schoolers are constantly behind schedule. I really don't think a 13-year-old can self-regulate very well. I really loved to learn and read, so I was way ahead of my age in some things, but a bit behind in others. I didn't learn to write an essay until I was in high school. It came to me easily so I don't feel like it had a lasting negative impact on me, but that's not true of other kids I've known.

Having my mom as my "teacher" was also really bad for our relationship. I won't go into all of it, but I got along with my parents so much better once I started going to school.

I do think I got the best of what public school had to offer. I took almost all AP and honors courses and had some amazing teachers, worked really hard, and learned a lot. If you didn't take those classes then it was very different, but I still don't think that I could have gotten nearly as good an education in high school if I had been home-schooled.

Probably the biggest reason I wish I hadn't been home-schooled is the social issues, though. I had plenty of activities and such, like homeschooling parents are supposed to provide, but I don't think it's the same as being in school every day. I was very lonely when home-schooled, and was much happier once I was in public school. Perhaps it's because I'm introverted and fairly shy, so I was much more comfortable being around the same people every day. I feel like homeschooling really set me back socially, and I'm still working on that. Honestly, homeschooled kids usually are different, no matter how well their parents tried to socialize them. Different isn't necessarily bad, but it can be hard. I have quite a few friends who entered college after being home-schooled, and they all struggled with being a bit different socially. I can't explain it exactly, but it's there.

Anyway, as always, others will have had different experiences, but that was mine. I really wish I had gone to school a lot earlier, perhaps even from the beginning. If I had kids, I would not homeschool them.

[Dinaberries]

I was homeschooled through ABeka for two years (7th and 8th grade). My mom and stepfather went fundie, and I was living with them at the time. Previously, I had gone to an elite private school, and my mom and stepfather decided that I had become too wordly, so started looking into homeschooling options. My mom is pretty lazy, so ABeka appealed to her, because they had videos, and she didn't have to do anything other than grade my tests from an answer key. The curriculum was woeful, and the only reason I got into an elite private high school was because I have always had a real thirst for knowledge and I basically educated myself through outside sources over those two years. I moved in with my grandparents when I was still in the 8th grade and still homeschooling through ABeka, and fortunately, my grandparents supported my decision to go back to "regular" school. Adjusting to high school was difficult, especially since I had no friends while I was homeschooled. But luckily, I didn't suffer any lasting ill effects from my experience. However, I would never homeschool my son.

[alysee]

I was not homeschooled at all, and I even had a good experience at Catholic school but I will be homeschooling my kids. I have worked in schools and I can see teachers don't really care if they learn they just want them to sit down and be quiet. I don't have a lot of respect for teachers after I spent my lunches in the staff room, as well.

[debrand]

My four were and are homeschooled. My oldest two attended public school also and are the most supportive of homeschooling.

The youngest two have never been to public school and have already told me that they won't homeschool their children. But they also want careers and have no desire to be a stay at home mom.

Children have different personalities and needs. Some kids will do great in public schools, while others will do better homeschooled.

My experiences in public school were hellish. Being a public school kid is no guarantee that you will be asked to the prom-I wasn't. However, being homeschooled isn't the answer for everyone either.

I don't feel like homeschoolers are being picked on in this thread either.

[Lala]

I was homeschooled only for the 6th and 7th grade. The only reason for it was because I was being bullied and the school refused to address the situation. And I was failing math horribly and was having major anxiety over it. It was enough time for me to heal and get my head back on before going back into school.

My brother was homeschooled for longer and that was because he had severe learning disabilities and my mom was not getting any results with the local school system.

It was a great experience for us. My mom is already a teacher and she's a good one. She really made it structured, but found ways for us to be with other people and do interesting things that we would have never done at a regular school. (And this was in the days when modern homeschooling was coming into existence and there weren't any groups, etc)

[MonkeyMomma]

I was homeschooled grades 9-12. My younger (half) siblings were/are completely homeschooled through grade 12. It worked well for our family. My child will most likely go to a local public or charter school, but we live in a much better district than where my family lived when my mom started homeschooling (one of the worst in the state, at the time).