How to be a creepy stalker by the Anonymous Antagonist.

[jesssnerch]

This douche nozzle reminds me of all typical Nice Guys™: shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2007/12/explainer-what-is-nice-guy.html

[Maude]

It took me until I was an adult to realize that polite manners are not a series of rules to follow but simple being considerate of the other person's feelings. There is nothing wrong with offering to open the door for someone but it is rude to insist or get offended if that person does not want your help. I've been on other forums were the men started a gripe fest over the fact that some woman dared ask them not to hold the door for them. I've never understood that.

Exactly. It also shouldn't be about or dependent on sex/gender either.

[debrand]

Quelle horreur! (

Kinda sounds like a Lina and TT love match but a bit different pathology.

A lot of the female posters are swooning. I think that they are fishing for a boyfriend.

Grace Nation said...

This is truly wonderful. Any female would read this and completely agree with it. However, any Man who follows this list is almost fictional and nowhere to be found in today's' society. I look forward to the day when I'll become acquainted with someone such as this, but as I previously stated; I really have to wonder if he really exists.

~Grace Nation~

(I like your new Header!)

February 28, 2012 9:49 AM

~

Miss Raquel said...

Okay, my sister can testify to this...

As soon as I finished reading your post, my first instinct was to cover my mouth from squealing...I really, really appreciated this post! It was beautiful, Daniel! So awesome to know that there are still some gentlemen out there!!

Girls, do not give up hope!!! :)

Thank YOU for being a gentleman, Daniel. The times that we have hung out, I can see that you really make it an effort to do all of these ^ to any of the ladies you are around. God bless you for that!! Keep it up! Don't let feminist women beat you down.

February 28, 2012 9:56 AM

Rebekah W said...

And he does this because he's knows that it is the right thing to do, not just because he's trying to get the girl to like him. Too much where I live I find guys are only polite to pretty or attractive girls. Why not to the older ladies, why not to the little girls? True?

Anyways, thanks for the lovely reminder that there actually still are gentleman in this world, not just in books.

Rebekah

February 28, 2012 2:04 PM

[Guest Anonymous]

Exactly. It also shouldn't be about or dependent on sex/gender either.

I completely agree. As far as men gripping...and speaking strictly from a Southern POV, I think it boils down to this. Just as some women today see it as sexist for a man to offer help for simple things like opening a door, men kind of see it as rude to refuse assistance because it's something they have been taught is the polite thing to do. And of course it depends on the refusal. If you outright give the attitude "jerk, what do you think I am a helpless woman", then yeah, I can see where men might snark on that. Unlike AA they leave you alone and do nothing more than just gripe about it to their buddies. I'm not saying that it's right. I'm just saying I can see how it might be snarkworthy to men. As for AA...he's wanting to take it to a whole new level and demand that a women let him help her. That is NEVER right. He's the kind that I can see assaulting a woman who refuses his help.

[Jezebel]

Being from the south, I get the whole being a gentleman thing. We just consider it good manners, nothing more. Having said that, this dude scares me. He isn't being polite. He's trying to put women in their place, and based on what I've read, it sounds like he would forcibly do so (and probably has). That is a far cry from a man who is just trying to be polite, and a polite man will back off when told his assistance isn't needed even if he's just opening a door.

There are a lot of "chivalrous" courtesies men have traditionally extended to women that, on the surface, appear to be respectful, and even deferential. Holding doors, pulling out a woman's chair from a restaurant table, and any other "ladies first" displays of politeness come to mind; so does the idea of "Women and children first," when evacuating during an emergency. But these gestures have more often than not been dropped with brutal swiftness whenever women have tried to claim genuine power for themselves. Chivalry is for ladies who behave themselves and know their place--not for unnatural women with ideas of their own, who insist upon taking action on them.

Josiah's a young lunkhead who doesn't understand common courtesy at all. When a woman refuses help, the polite thing to do is accept her refusal. Courtesy is about respecting the person you are extending it to, and their desires. Ignoring a "No, thank you," and persisting until they cave in, is just plain rude. His parents really fell down hard when it came to that lesson.

Unfortunately, he's swallowed enough twisted, patriarchal ideas about the subordination of women that he has no respect for them at all. Women aren't quite people with minds all their own; they are there to play specific supporting roles in his life. And in this case, their role is to let him be the manly-man by submitting whenever he offers help. And if they won't submit and let him be the manly-man, then he feels entitled to keep pushing, because he's going to be the man, damn it, despite what any emotional, irrational woman says she wants. If traditional "politeness" toward "ladies" is about control, so is his--but with an added megadose of aggression.

I don't have a whole lot of hope for him, frankly. Unless circumstances force him out of his small-town, patriarchal, fundie bubble, and into a world where he has to get to know and cooperate with normal, non-fundie women in meaningful, sustained ways, he'll stay stuck in this mindset. I honestly pity whoever he ends up marrying one day; young guys tend to be clueless, but he's a real creeper.

[valsa]

I read somewhere that, in Russia, men don't hold the door open for women. They go in before her to make sure the place they're entering is safe. I actually kind of like that better. I could get more use out of a meatshield than a human doorstop.

[Jezebel]

I completely agree. As far as men gripping...and speaking strictly from a Southern POV, I think it boils down to this. Just as some women today see it as sexist for a man to offer help for simple things like opening a door, men kind of see it as rude to refuse assistance because it's something they have been taught is the polite thing

to do.

Funny, but I haven't seen a woman take offense at having a man hold a door for her since...the mid-'70s? I've had friends get offended if the door-holder said something creepy or patronizing ("There ya go, little lady/sweetheart/gorgeous") in the decades since then, but door-holding in itself is no longer a hot-button feminist issue. I don't know about the South (beyond New Orleans or Big Texas cities), but out here people hold doors for other people, regardless of gender. I give up bus seats for old men, just as I would for old ladies. I've helped guys at Costco or Ikea put heavy items in their carts, or get them out of carts and into their vehicles in the lot. I'm not the only woman who does this, either.

As for rudely refusing offers of help, I've had to resort to that when the guy offering assistance came off as creepy, lecherous, patronizing, or otherwise someone I really didn't want to deal with--but wouldn't take "No, thank you" for an answer. The only way to get them to leave me alone was to be rude, because politeness didn't work. And I'm sure some of those guys went and griped about how some horrid feminist man-hater treated them like dirt when all they were trying to do was help. So for guys who get that reaction a lot? They really need to look at how they're coming across to the women they approach.

As for AA...he's wanting to take it to a whole new level and demand that a women let him help her. That is NEVER right. He's the kind that I can see assaulting a woman who refuses his help.

Yeah, I agree with this.

[Guest Anonymous]

A agree with you Jezebel & valsa...I was just presenting another side to the story. And, clearly man who is being a lecherous, harassing jerk deserves what he gets. Oh, and the opening of doors and giving up seats is done by both genders here as well, and should be. It's plain good manners.

[Patsy]

these gestures have more often than not been dropped with brutal swiftness whenever women have tried to claim genuine power for themselves. Chivalry is for ladies who behave themselves and know their place--not for unnatural women with ideas of their own, who insist upon taking action on them.

:clap: :clap: :clap:

Josiah's a young lunkhead who doesn't understand common courtesy at all. When a woman refuses help, the polite thing to do is accept her refusal. Courtesy is about respecting the person you are extending it to, and their desires. Ignoring a "No, thank you," and persisting until they cave in, is just plain rude.

he has no respect for them at all. Women aren't quite people with minds all their own; they are there to play specific supporting roles in his life. And in this case, their role is to let him be the manly-man by submitting whenever he offers help. And if they won't submit and let him be the manly-man, then he feels entitled to keep pushing

MEXICAN WAAAVE OF APPROVAL

[cindyluvs24]

Like Beetlejuice take care not to say his name three times or he will appear.

That's Candyman.

[cindyluvs24]

He reminds me of that cartoon of the cub scouts pulling the old lady across the street even tho she didn't want to go.

[formergothardite]

The Anonymous Antagonist isn't Josiah, I think his name is Daniel. Josiah has the Biblical Beginnings blog where he is currenly whining about working for his dad and how it sucks, but he won't go get another job. AA defended using "retard" as an insult. Josiah wants to stone gays and thinks slavery if fine.

[deelaem]

He reminds me of that cartoon of the cub scouts pulling the old lady across the street even tho she didn't want to go.

[dairyfreelife]

Someone ought to tell AA that he'll only get respect if he respects others and refusing to take no for an answer and assuming us females are helpless and weaker beings who need your hep will never get you respect. Manners AA, learn them and understand that no means no always.

edit-s key isn't working well today.

[Three and Done]

I read somewhere that, in Russia, men don't hold the door open for women. They go in before her to make sure the place they're entering is safe. I actually kind of like that better. I could get more use out of a meatshield than a human doorstop.

:lol:

[PBrooke]

That's Candyman.

...But also Beetlejuice. Of course, with Beetlejuice you could just say it three more times and he'll go away again. :shifty: