Detriment to the family??

[Dixiebelle]

I read this just now: raisinghomemakers.com/2012/the-impact-of-miscarriage-on-our-daughters/

I was with her to a certain point. Then this part in particular jumped out at me:

The home is the first place young people learn how to serve others. It is the place they learn to perceive others’ needs and meet those needs. A mother who is not well for a time, is not necessarily a detriment to the household if during that time the family comes together to minister to her needs and learn invaluable skills in the process.

(bold and italics added by me)

I am going through cancer treatment. I have been "not well" for quote a bit of time since last April - I have good days and bad days, of course, but lately it seems I have more bad days. I may be taking this too personally because much of the time I FEEL like a burden to our family. A burden is one thing, but "detriment" means "cause of harm or damage". Surely she doesn't mean that literally? Does she seriously believe that the mother being ill could harm or damage the family ("not necessarily", of course!)?

I may just be personalizing, but it pisses me off.

When my husband was sick for a long time, we dealt with it. Now that I am sick, we are dealing with that also. It is bringing the family together, if anything. Any angst over being a burden is in my own head and quite unfounded, when I take the time to think about it rationally. It's just life.

What would this woman say about a family who lost their mother? I guess they're just screwed. :?

[Boltingmadonna]

So sorry you're having to go through that, Dixiebelle. I hope you'll feel good again soon. I think I see what you're saying about this. What I hate about the quote is that it makes it sound like the only reason a sick mom is tolerable is that she can serve as an example to others. You get to be an object lesson for the kids to practice their Christian self-sacrifice on. Like, they couldn't actually help her out because they LOVE her and care about how she feels?

Life is not a teaching program, and people are not lessons for others.

[Dixiebelle]

Thank you. Yes, that's how I read it, too. I can't believe she would mean it that way. My husband says she probably doesn't know what "detriment" means. Not a SOTDRT word maybe? ;) (I love the term SOTDRT, once I learned what it meant!)

[Austin]

I hope you feel better soon, Dixiebell.

[Dixiebelle]

Thank you :)

[blondezilla]

Hope you feel better soon Dixiebelle. :)