Couple can't wait three hours after the wedding to have sex

[Clementine]

I haven't followed this blog, but I am reading her courtship story and found this:

“Hunk†had arranged to borrow a relatives’ brand new condo for our honeymoon the week after the wedding, but my Dad had a problem with the fact that it was 3 hours away. According to him, once we were officially married the first thing we would want to do was have sex, 3 hours away was too long of a drive for us to handle. We explained that we were sure that we could make it a bit longer in order to get to our destination, and it might even be nice to have a drive and relax after the hubbub of the wedding. But he insisted that we would regret it. He even offered to get us a hotel room 20 minutes from the church where we could stay for two nights before heading up to the condo. We compromised by agreeing to let him get the hotel room with the understanding that he and mom could go there themselves for a nice getaway if “Hunk†and I decided on making the drive after the wedding.

http://ayoungmomsmusingsDOTblogspot.com ... art-6.html

:shock:

They weren't allowed to touch each other before the wedding, but the father seriously think that they can't wait more than 20 minutes to have sex after they leave the wedding reception? :o

I... don't know what to say.

[reds]

I read her all the time. I think she is an amazing author.

[alaeangelorum]

I haven't followed this blog, but I am reading her courtship story and found this:

http://ayoungmomsmusingsDOTblogspot.com ... art-6.html

:shock:

They weren't allowed to touch each other before the wedding, but the father seriously think that they can't wait more than 20 minutes to have sex after they leave the wedding reception? :o

I... don't know what to say.

They are a little obsessed with this kind of thing on that 'Marriage Bed' forum that was mentioned on here a while back. Basically it seems to be super important to have sex actually on your wedding night, and if there is the possibility of having to drive far to your honeymoon venue, then you might too tired to actually do the deed once you get there. Which would be a terrible travesty, of course. :roll:

[Jessica]

a) Why would anyone have that conversation with their parents?

b) Why would you put it ON THE INTERNET?! :shock:

edited to add "with their parents". I was so squicked out I couldn't even finish my sentence! ;)

[Jade]

That is so not a conversation to have with your father! Just ew. And really they have waited that long why would anyone think they can't wait a few hours more? What was Dad afraid was going to happen, they start driving, can't wait and pull over to do it in the car on the side of the road?

[valsa]

That's equally horrifically stupid and ironic, since I've heard of several fundie couples that didn't have the nerve to consumate the marriage on their wedding night, or even for weeks or months afterward.

Which isn't surprising since fundie beliefs about sex are a recipe for sexual dysfunction. Sex and touching people of the opposite sex are evil and something you should never, ever even think of until you're married, after which you're expected to have sex with a practical stranger a mere few hours after you're first allowed to touch them.

[Elle]

Wow, what a stupid dad. I'm sure they want to have sex already, but are using sex-control. And what's with that compromise? So if the bride and groom decide to make the drive, the compromise is that the one paying for the hotel room can use it since it will be empty?

Also is there a better way to make two people not want to have sex than to think about how their parents are thinking about them having sex?

[Guest Anonymous]

a) Why would anyone have that conversation with their parents?

b) Why would you put it ON THE INTERNET?! :shock:

edited to add "with their parents". I was so squicked out I couldn't even finish my sentence! ;)

She describes herself as agnostic now and is writing about the events of the past.

[Elle]

That's equally horrifically stupid and ironic, since I've heard of several fundie couples that didn't have the nerve to consumate the marriage on their wedding night, or even for weeks or months afterward.

Which isn't surprising since fundie beliefs about sex are a recipe for sexual dysfunction. Sex and touching people of the opposite sex are evil and something you should never, ever even think of until you're married, after which you're expected to have sex with a practical stranger a mere few hours after you're first allowed to touch them.

For all the jokes about the grooms basically taking charge with that first-kiss-head-grabbing, I bet when it comes down to it, the majority of them panic. Since they want to seem strong and in control, and it's embarrassing to ejaculate right away (though it's not like the brides know it's fast), and they want to seem like they know what they're doing, I really doubt many are heading to bed the second they're alone. Just the wedding day alone is exhausting. My husband and I just fell asleep, and that was without the pressure of sex for the first time! The proof of our non-virgin status was a flower girl. I can't imagine having the pressure of a life's worth of expectations and knowing everyone is snickering and wondering if you've done it yet combined with the body of an adult (or almost adult) of the opposite sex has got to be terrifying. I really wonder how many of these young men know which hole it goes into. I'm not joking. It's not like they change baby diapers or get anything remotely like sexual education. Suddenly there are a couple places it could go, and I'm sure it's embarrassing to ask.

[Austin]

Sounds like dear old dad was projecting. Fundies are obsessed with sex, as we've seen time and time again.

[Clementine]

That's equally horrifically stupid and ironic, since I've heard of several fundie couples that didn't have the nerve to consumate the marriage on their wedding night, or even for weeks or months afterward.

Which isn't surprising since fundie beliefs about sex are a recipe for sexual dysfunction. Sex and touching people of the opposite sex are evil and something you should never, ever even think of until you're married, after which you're expected to have sex with a practical stranger a mere few hours after you're first allowed to touch them.

It such a contradiction! I can't understand that - they are supposed to have hot sex only a few hours after their first kiss ever. :? Must be horrible. I thought my first time was SO awkward... and we had spent a few months making out and touching and sleeping together before we had sex.

I would have dropped dead if I was expected to go from first kiss to sex within a few hours. Ew.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

Sounds like dear old dad was projecting. Fundies are obsessed with sex, as we've seen time and time again.

Speaking of which, if this was in a family that did the whole "purity ring" bit, it's entirely possible this was NOT the first time daughter has had an "ewwwww" discussion with Dad about having sex on the wedding night.

...which just makes it all the more ewww. But... yeah ewww.

[tabitha2]

I

would have dropped dead if I was expected to go from first kiss to sex within a few hours. Ew.

Since it seems like many of them,at least the ones talked about here, are knocked up 2.5 seconds after marriage they obviously know where to put their legos :lol:

[reds]

Reading the whole story, I think it was more of a control thing for dear old dad. He wanted to control where the couple went after their wedding etc. Not that they couldnt wait 20 mins. Dad was having issues that he would no longer have a say in what she did. Tried to control/steer the new headship.

[pastaswife]

The change from "never touch EVER" to "quick! Get to screwing! Right here, we'll throw a blanket over you, Jesus will never notice! " would confuse the crap outta me :(

[Guest Anonymous]

This story was posted on NLQ last year I think, I remember some of it. Both she and her husband came out of the patriarchy together.

[ElphabaGalinda]

So strange that their father expects them to go from nothing to sex in less than an hour. Even stranger that their father will then know exactly when they had sex for the first time. I just can't believe he wants to put that much thought into his child's sex life.

[uncreative]

This story was posted on NLQ last year I think, I remember some of it. Both she and her husband came out of the patriarchy together.

Ah ha! That's where I've heard it before. It was as squicky today as it was when I first read it.

[Dinorah]

Why do fundies make such a big deal of consuming the marriage the wedding night? I don't see how you can go from not even holding hands, or spending time alone, to full intercourse in such a short time. Wouldn't it make more sense to allow for some graduality? Apparently in Victorian times "true gentlemen" would not expect intercourse from their brides right on the wedding night, for a reason.

[snarkbillie]

That is so not a conversation to have with your father! Just ew. And really they have waited that long why would anyone think they can't wait a few hours more? What was Dad afraid was going to happen, they start driving, can't wait and pull over to do it in the car on the side of the road?

Why are you so ashamed of sex that you can't discuss it with another adult?

[Jade]

I have no problem discussing sex with another adult. However I would not be discussing how long after the wedding we'll wait to have sex with my father. I don't see how that was something he needed to discuss with her. Telling her he didn't think they could wait an extra 3 hours seemed weird to me. Talking about it to a friend is one thing discussing the details with a parent is another

[keen23]

Why are you so ashamed of sex that you can't discuss it with another adult?

I have no interest in talking about my sex life with my father. And, I'd be horrified if he asked about it. It's frankly none of his business.

[snarkbillie]

I have no problem discussing sex with another adult. However I would not be discussing how long after the wedding we'll wait to have sex with my father. I don't see how that was something he needed to discuss with her. Telling her he didn't think they could wait an extra 3 hours seemed weird to me

Oh, thanks for clarifying. I read it in the tone of the normal "My parents don't have sex! Ew!" rather than this specific conversation was creepy/controlling.

[snarkbillie]

I have no interest in talking about my sex life with my father. And, I'd be horrified if he asked about it. It's frankly none of his business.

Is it specifically because he's your father or because you're just very private?

[Austin]

Who wants to talk about their sex life with their father? I mean, whatever floats your boat, but I think most people avoid those types of conversations with their parents.