Couple can't wait three hours after the wedding to have sex

[snarkbillie]

It would be a perfect end of incident, except that you have a hisory of the coy "I'm totally clueless and have no idea what you all are talking about" feigned ignorance.

Whether or not you are a troll or just ignorant, you've pinged my trolldar since the very beginning because of it.

Fair enough. I'll try not to ask questions.

[valsa]

Fair enough. I'll try not to ask questions.

Aaaaaand, perfect troll-like response.

[snarkbillie]

Aaaaaand, perfect troll-like response.

I agreed with you that my question asking might be annoying and I agreed to stop. I'm the best troll ever! I think you just want to fight. I'm trying to be as agreeable as possible.

[valsa]

I agreed with you that my question asking might be annoying and I agreed to stop. I'm the best troll ever! I think you just want to fight. I'm trying to be as agreeable as possible.

Many, many, many people manage to ask questions here and don't have the same problems you do. The issue is not, and never was, that you were asking questions. Pretending as if that was the issue is a typical troll tactic. Similarly, you said this earlier-

I am realizing now that not only is this off topic but it's beyond the scope of this board so we should probably drop it.

You have almost 500 posts here and should know that, once a thread gets going, there is no "off topic" and "beyond the scope on this board". Pretending otherwise also pings.

[Angri-la]

Ohhhh, off topic time? Here we go! I've already defrauded FJrs with my bacon cake on another thread. Here it is again:

It is a riff on the maple bacon donut, and is garnished with candied violets; an Angri-la exclusive!

[Gizmola]

I LOVE ANGRI-LA AND HER CAKEY GOODNESS. :dance:

That is all.

[Witsec7]

Ohhhh, off topic time? Here we go! I've already defrauded FJrs with my bacon cake on another thread. Here it is again:

It is a riff on the maple bacon donut, and is garnished with candied violets; an Angri-la exclusive!

You are such a fickle biotch Angri-la. I'm gonna call a wambulance right now.

[valsa]

Aw, looks like a tiny bacon octopus amputee on top.

[snarkbillie]

Aw, looks like a tiny bacon octopus amputee on top.

It's obviously a starfish missing a leg. Seriously. How could you not see that?!

[gardenvarietycitizen]

You can very effectively provide comprehensive sex ed for your kids without getting into your own sex life.

THIIIIS.

I'm happy enough to discuss sex in the abstract with my parents, even, details about "this and that sex practices exist," but I'm not about to start talking about what either *I* or THEY are doing.

Why would a conversation like that in the linked blog weird me out? Because if my father were to talk about me having sex (or worse yet being desperate for sex like I can't wait 3 hours, or my husband being that way) it makes me think that he has the concept in his head right then of me having sex. And I don't want to think about my father thinking about me that way. It's just ew. He knows I have sex. But (presumably) he's not imagining that in concrete terms.

Same idea applies in reverse. The idea of my parents getting it on doesn't bother me, but it would be awkward to discuss it because it would mean me thinking of my parents having sex, imagining that image, right there in front of them. Which I think would be uncomfortable for THEM. As a child I knew my parents had sex, they would even make it clear sometimes when it would happen, but using euphemisms or going out on trips alone and we (siblings) knew what that was about, just as we knew why we can't read through our parents' love letters or listen to Side B of some tapes we made for each other (kids filled Side A, Side B was for Mom only). But we would NEVER ask for details, it just wasn't done.

BACON!!!!!!!!

[valsa]

It's obviously a starfish missing a leg. Seriously. How could you not see that?!

Hmmm... does that mean it will regenerate into two bacon starfish? Because I might be onboard with that.

[snarkbillie]

Hmmm... does that mean it will regenerate into two bacon starfish? Because I might be onboard with that.

If we can just wait it out we can make many bacon starfish!

[valsa]

An army of bacon starfish!

[Aurora]

I had never heard the name. I knew the phenomena but it didn't occur to me that it was some kind of evolutionary thing to prevent inbreeding. Sometimes I don't have a ton of common sense. I did understand that it happened that people were icked out by it but I couldn't quite come up with a logical reason "why" so I asked. I understand being paranoid after the whole AD thing.

ETA: I'm still questioning a lot of things I was brought up to believe. Some of it is bullshit and some of it is there for a reason and sometimes I can't tell the difference unless I ask.

Actually what you asked is "why are you so ashamed of sex that you can't discuss it with another adult?"

My parents have never had sex, I'm sure. I was dropped on earth by the stork. 8-)

[DamnPrecious]

I saw a documentary the other day about a young Roma couple living in Germany. It reminded me very much of courting, and of course there was no sex or kissing before the marriage. They got married after a month or so, and the couple was sent off to have sex during the reception. Both mothers waited right outside the bedroom, there were a couple of other female relatives, too. It took about half an hour. Then the mothers went into the bedroom, yanked the bloody sheet off the bed, put the poor girl who seemed to be in pain and had trouble walking, into a bright red dress and dragged them back to the reception. Once there, they waved the bloody sheet as proof that the girl had been a virgin.

I'm surprised it doesn't go down like this in fundie circles.

As for snarkbillie, you were basically telling all of us we were repressed and "not healthy," now you claim you knew about it but just didn't know the name? Please.

What is the name of that?

[bananacat]

Ok, I'll troll this thread. I just don't get what the big deal is about bacon. I mean, I like it well enough but I don't understand why it's so much sexier than all other meats. Why is it A Thing now? Between the OMG BACON! and the zombie apocalypse obsession, I am just really confused.

Also, sweet and savory should never mix.

[snarkbillie]

Actually what you asked is "why are you so ashamed of sex that you can't discuss it with another adult?"

My parents have never had sex, I'm sure. I was dropped on earth by the stork. 8-)

That was me being a combative bitch. Sorry.

I am glad you weren't injured during your stork drop!

[snarkbillie]

Ok, I'll troll this thread. I just don't get what the big deal is about bacon. I mean, I like it well enough but I don't understand why it's so much sexier than all other meats. Why is it A Thing now? Between the OMG BACON! and the zombie apocalypse obsession, I am just really confused.

Also, sweet and savory should never mix.

Memes are nefarious characters. Also: http://www.alternet.org/module/printversion/141498

[Gizmola]

bananacat wrote:

Ok, I'll troll this thread. I just don't get what the big deal is about bacon. I mean, I like it well enough but I don't understand why it's so much sexier than all other meats. Why is it A Thing now? Between the OMG BACON! and the zombie apocalypse obsession, I am just really confused.

Fine, be contrary and refuse to join our lovely little bandwagon. When the zombie apocalypse comes, I'll not share my bacon with you. So there!

Seriously, I think the bacon love is a reaction to all the "eat only vegan, vegetarian, organic, sugar is bad, gluten is bad, etc., etc." stuff. Bacon just sounds so unhealthy with its fat and its salt and all the porky goodness. So I know I like to worship bacon to piss off the self-righteous who only eat organic, gluten free stuff.

As for zombies, it's just a lark. One, zombie is a fun word - like monkey. Further, there are a million real-life possible apocalaypses coming down the pike so instead of worrying about reality, we just act silly about something that will never happen.

I'm just full of $0.02 tonight!!

[Aurora]

ETA: I'm still questioning a lot of things I was brought up to believe. Some of it is bullshit and some of it is there for a reason and sometimes I can't tell the difference unless I ask.

Actually what you asked is "why are you so ashamed of sex that you can't discuss it with another adult?"

My parents have never had sex, I'm sure. I was dropped on earth by the stork. 8-)

[ElphabaGalinda]

Ohhhh, off topic time? Here we go! I've already defrauded FJrs with my bacon cake on another thread. Here it is again:

It is a riff on the maple bacon donut, and is garnished with candied violets; an Angri-la exclusive!

Maple and bacon seems like it would taste strange to me. Is it really as good a combination as people tell me? I don't like when flavours that are too different mix most of the time so i'm reluctant to try it. Maybe i'm just too crazily pure to be defrauded? ;)

[debrand]

Fine, be contrary and refuse to join our lovely little bandwagon. When the zombie apocalypse comes, I'll not share my bacon with you. So there!

Seriously, I think the bacon love is a reaction to all the "eat only vegan, vegetarian, organic, sugar is bad, gluten is bad, etc., etc." stuff. Bacon just sounds so unhealthy with its fat and its salt and all the porky goodness. So I know I like to worship bacon to piss off the self-righteous who only eat organic, gluten free stuff.

As for zombies, it's just a lark. One, zombie is a fun word - like monkey. Further, there are a million real-life possible apocalaypses coming down the pike so instead of worrying about reality, we just act silly about something that will never happen.

I'm just full of $0.02 tonight!!

Zombies are real! The living dead hate cholesterol. Eating lots of bacon will make you unappetizing to the zombies.They will eat all the healthy people first. Because vegans are typically faster than bacon eaters, the zombies will get worn out with chasing them and drop dead shortly after feasting on their brains.

The reason that Gizmola is lying to you, banana cat, is because she wants you eat healthy so that your brain will get eaten instead of hers.

Save yourself. Eat bacon

[moreorlessnu]

It's another form of fundie control. It's the Dad's way of saying that he initiates a conversation w/ his daughter about sex to set the stage that sex will continue to be something he can ask her about even when she is an adult, married women.

[emmiedahl]

Zombies are real! The living dead hate cholesterol. Eating lots of bacon will make you unappetizing to the zombies.They will eat all the healthy people first. Because vegans are typically faster than bacon eaters, the zombies will get worn out with chasing them and drop dead shortly after feasting on their brains.

The reason that Gizmola is lying to you, banana cat, is because she wants you eat healthy so that your brain will get eaten instead of hers.

Save yourself. Eat bacon

But, but, but zombies like brains, don't they? Brains are full of cholesterol.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

Maple and bacon seems like it would taste strange to me. Is it really as good a combination as people tell me? I don't like when flavours that are too different mix most of the time so i'm reluctant to try it. Maybe i'm just too crazily pure to be defrauded? ;)

I have to admit the bacon desserts seem a bit odd to me too, but then I remember I do like it when I have bacon with pancakes (for breakfast) and some of the maple syrup gets on the bacon. It actually does go well together in that format (mostly bacon, just a little bit of maple on it).