The Bates kids only have a hamper full of indoor toys

[JesusFightClub]

Er, right, now I feel like a weirdo. My mum and I share underwear. We wear similar sizes and styles (there are some which are clearly mine cause I wear boxers sometimes but aside from that). If I am staying at her house and forgot a pair she'll lend me one of hers. If she is staying at mine and forgot, the same.

I was actually squeezed out of her lady parts and I should worry about wearing a pair of her clean, washed pants? Please.

Also, communism doesn't involve automatically sharing your underwear with everyone else. This is a misunderstanding of the Marxist definition of "private property". But dinnae start me. ;)

[pixydust]

I think a big thing with underwear is that once a girl starts to have her period, its not really appropriate (or even clean, I know they're washed but it doesn't seem sanitary to me) to share underwear. 9 year old girls shouldn't be wearing their 12 year old sister's blood stained undies. I can understand for boys it might be less awkward, but pubescent girls, not really okay.

This, but I also think that it's ookie for older boys, esp in the "wet dream" stage.

[Austin]

I think men, or at least teenage boys, would care just as much about sharing underwear. Would a 12 year-old boy want to wear boxers that his 14 year-old brother wore during a wet dream? Men don't discharge blood, but they still have plenty to discharge, which they have less control over as teenagers. Of course they would be washed, but I still can't imagine wanting to share.

If it's really that hard to separate undies, each person should choose a different color or material. Even fundie granny panties come in both cotton and satin. And fundies wear such baggy, dense clothing that they'd have no fear of darker colors showing through fabric.

I can't believe people are making so much of this. The boxers are CLEAN. We don't engage in magical thinking around here, squicking ourselves out over what might have happend to fabrics before they were CLEANED. We don't think when we go to the linen closet and pick out CLEAN sheets or CLEAN towels, "Gee, I wonder if someone ever ejaculated on this?" In our house, there's a pretty good chance that someone has, frankly. That's why we own this nifty machine called a washer and an equally nifty machine called a dryer.

I made it clear I was talking about BOYS, as I don't even have girls. I know momma and I shared underwear a few times when necessity required it (I remember not packing any for a weekend trip and she had extras). I don't seem to have the problems keeping my underwear. . . unstained as some do, as I have never had heavy periods or whatever. But in any case, it was never suggested that anyone here should have their teenaged girls share underwear, or anyone else, IF they don't want to.

If people want to squick themselves out over what I consider to be silly stuff, knock yourselves out and pray to God you don't ever have to live in circumstances where everything can't be separated by person all of the time (only like most of the world). Do whatever you want, but don't criticize others for having fewer hangups in order to validate your own. :roll:

[MrsYoungie]

My boys are grown up now but when they were small we learned quickly that toy boxes, bins, hampers and the like are a bad idea. To find the toy you want you have to dig and forage and dump stuff out. Mess is inevitable.

My husband made them shallow shelves with a maximum height of about 3 feet all the way around their room. He (geek that he is) called it "random access" and it made getting the toy they wanted easier and they were more likely to only take one toy at a time, therefore clean up was faster. Legos etc. were kept in hanger bags that my cousin designed that also served as work areas.

[bananacat]

I can't believe people are making so much of this. The boxers are CLEAN. We don't engage in magical thinking around here, squicking ourselves out over what might have happend to fabrics before they were CLEANED. We don't think when we go to the linen closet and pick out CLEAN sheets or CLEAN towels, "Gee, I wonder if someone ever ejaculated on this?" In our house, there's a pretty good chance that someone has, frankly. That's why we own this nifty machine called a washer and an equally nifty machine called a dryer.

I made it clear I was talking about BOYS, as I don't even have girls. I know momma and I shared underwear a few times when necessity required it (I remember not packing any for a weekend trip and she had extras). I don't seem to have the problems keeping my underwear. . . unstained as some do, as I have never had heavy periods or whatever. But in any case, it was never suggested that anyone here should have their teenaged girls share underwear, or anyone else, IF they don't want to.

If people want to squick themselves out over what I consider to be silly stuff, knock yourselves out and pray to God you don't ever have to live in circumstances where everything can't be separated by person all of the time (only like most of the world). Do whatever you want, but don't criticize others for having fewer hangups in order to validate your own. :roll:

If undies are so damn clean, then why wear any at all? Why not just wear pants without them and then wash them? If undies can get perfectly clean through washing, then why not pants too? Occasional sharing is fine, but kids, adults, and especially teenagers should not have to have communal underwear. There's a reason we have them.

[holierthanyou]

I'd always keep underwear separate, but I also grew up with everyone having separate towels, separate sheets, pillow cases, cloth napkins at the table, etc, etc. So I grew up thinking it was "icky" to share those things even after having been washed, and I seem to have kept that idea in my mind as an adult.

However, if there are adults (and most likely this is the majority) who have no problem using the same towel or sheets as a family member (assuming they were laundered in between), then I could see how they might also not have a problem occasionally sharing underwear I guess.

[Witsec7]

I'd always keep underwear separate, but I also grew up with everyone having separate towels, separate sheets, pillow cases, cloth napkins at the table, etc, etc. So I grew up thinking it was "icky" to share those things even after having been washed, and I seem to have kept that idea in my mind as an adult.

However, if there are adults (and most likely this is the majority) who have no problem using the same towel or sheets as a family member (assuming they were laundered in between), then I could see how they might also not have a problem occasionally sharing underwear I guess.

When I remarried a few years back I though sharing a bar of soap in the shower was icky. I could not imagine sharing undies or even a towel.

[holierthanyou]

When I remarried a few years back I though sharing a bar of soap in the shower was icky. I could not imagine sharing undies or even a towel.

Oh, I agree. There is no way in hell I would share a bar of soap. But granted, I am officially a prude.

[AmyP]

This. A million times this. Why would your 9 year old be picking up after YOUR babies?

Why not? If she were the only person in the family who picked up after the babies, then I could see a legitimate reason for complaint. But she isn't. I do it, hubby does it, why shouldn't she? Is she not a member of this family? Why is this such a big deal? We all help eachother to do the work that needs to be done. I also ask my 5YO to do things for her older sister. Including picking things up that her sister left out.

You know, I think most people here feel that in general we should all do more (as a society) to help those around us. I don't see why we cannot start this training, in simple ways, at home. If my children are raised to believe that they should never have to help those immediately around them (their parents and siblings), and should only be concerned with their direct responsibilities, (their stuff, their chores, etc.) I question how concerned they will be about the needs of people they have never met who don't affect their lives at all. Isn't a family like a small community? A group of people living together, who care about eachother, consider each others needs, and work toward a common goal?

[AmyP]

Can you please point out ANYWHERE on this board where someone (anyone) has said that children should never have to do anything? Because that sounds just like made up bullshit.

Did you miss that question the first time around???

yes. I did.

[pixydust]

Oh, I agree. There is no way in hell I would share a bar of soap. But granted, I am officially a prude.

I'm not a prude, and sharing a bar of soap squicks me out! We use body wash, my daughter and I have a bottle, my hubby has one, and the boys each have one (the reason for so many different ones is preferences for smells/brands. We have before all used the same bottle, that doesn't gross me out).

[NurseNell]

Oh, I agree. There is no way in hell I would share a bar of soap. But granted, I am officially a prude.

I don't like to share a bar of soap either. I wouldn't want to share underwear but if the choice was share or no undies I guess I'd adapt (I'm thinking about the orphanages I visited in El Salvador). My mother and I were the same size when I was in h.s. and still living at home but she wore nylon, I wore cotton so we never got them mixed up. My daughter and I were never the same size. Sharing socks wouldn't bother me. Toothbrushes, never. That really freaked me out in El Salvador seeing the communal sharing of toothbrushes.

I don't want to use a towel someone else has used but once washed that's fine. I always have a pile of clean towels so anyone taking a shower can use a clean towel. I don't care about sheets. I'll even sleep on sheets someone else has slept on if I'm really tired, providing the person is a family member or friend. In motels I like to sleep on top of the bedspread with my own blankie and pillow.

[galaxygirl]

Oh, I agree. There is no way in hell I would share a bar of soap. But granted, I am officially a prude.

Yeah, I don't think I would either but I have issues with sharing things. I would never drink out of a glass after someone else has drunk out of it. Even if that person is my husband or my mom. It just squicks me out.

[quiningseven]

If undies are so damn clean, then why wear any at all? Why not just wear pants without them and then wash them? If undies can get perfectly clean through washing, then why not pants too? Occasional sharing is fine, but kids, adults, and especially teenagers should not have to have communal underwear. There's a reason we have them.

Seriously? I wear undies to protect my pants so I can wear them more than once. That way the undies get dirty and the pants don't. That doesn't mean they don't get clean again when WASHED. Out of curiosity, to those of you who are completely squicked out by the idea- do you always wash your underwear separately from anyone else's, or even in a different machine? What is it that makes you think washed underwear is still unclean? I can understand not wanting to share (I don't personally share underwear with friends or family) but it isn't because I don't think it's a health hazard or something.

[AmyP]

Seriously? I wear undies to protect my pants so I can wear them more than once. That way the undies get dirty and the pants don't. That doesn't mean they don't get clean again when WASHED. Out of curiosity, to those of you who are completely squicked out by the idea- do you always wash your underwear separately from anyone else's, or even in a different machine? What is it that makes you think washed underwear is still unclean? I can understand not wanting to share (I don't personally share underwear with friends or family) but it isn't because I don't think it's a health hazard or something.

I think the underwear sharing thread is one of the best I have ever read. I am thoroughly entertained! I really think that once you wash something- it is washed. It is as clean as it needs to be. As Austin pointed out, there are a great many places in the world where things are a whole lot dirtier. We are lucky to have such worries. Having said that, I value having my OWN underwear. If I had to wear someone elses, I would get over it- but it certainly isn't my preference.

[holierthanyou]

Out of curiosity, to those of you who are completely squicked out by the idea- do you always wash your underwear separately from anyone else's, or even in a different machine? What is it that makes you think washed underwear is still unclean? I can understand not wanting to share (I don't personally share underwear with friends or family) but it isn't because I don't think it's a health hazard or something.

I think it's just an acquired 'squick factor' from growing up seeing it as squicky. I admit that I wouldn't wash my underwear in the same load as anyone else's (I acknowledge that such can rightly be judged as ridiculous, but I'll be honest and admit to seeing it ask 'ick' still). Same machine is fine. I can't give you any scientific explanation on the reasoning behind that, because there isn't any. For me, washing my underwear with someone else's is squicky, but washing in a separate load in the same machine is totally fine.

[Conuly]

If undies are so damn clean, then why wear any at all? Why not just wear pants without them and then wash them? If undies can get perfectly clean through washing, then why not pants too? Occasional sharing is fine, but kids, adults, and especially teenagers should not have to have communal underwear. There's a reason we have them.

That's a very good question. Why DO we wear undies? It's not as though they'll prevent any, um, leakage from leaking through to the pants. And for that matter, plenty of people in our society already don't wear underwear. It doesn't seem to hurt them any.

And really, although I understand the psychological squick of it, if your machine isn't thoroughly washing your clothes, maybe you should just buy new panties every week.

[AmyP]

That's a very good question. Why DO we wear undies? It's not as though they'll prevent any, um, leakage from leaking through to the pants. And for that matter, plenty of people in our society already don't wear underwear. It doesn't seem to hurt them any.

And really, although I understand the psychological squick of it, if your machine isn't thoroughly washing your clothes, maybe you should just buy new panties every week.

Well, I think underwear keeps your clothes cleaner, but not perfectly clean, of course. I think jeans would chafe (sp?) a bit without underwear. But if people don't want to wear it, I could care less. There's no harm in it, obviously.

[Austin]

Seriously? I wear undies to protect my pants so I can wear them more than once. That way the undies get dirty and the pants don't. That doesn't mean they don't get clean again when WASHED. Out of curiosity, to those of you who are completely squicked out by the idea- do you always wash your underwear separately from anyone else's, or even in a different machine? What is it that makes you think washed underwear is still unclean? I can understand not wanting to share (I don't personally share underwear with friends or family) but it isn't because I don't think it's a health hazard or something.

It clearly doesn't need to be logical. Being "squicked out" personally is apparently enough to tell others how wrong they are for not being squicked out over mixing laundry and thinking your panties are never really clean :shock: :roll:

I don't care what other people do, but I resent people coming on here saying, "OMG, OMG, because I'm squicked out, everyone needs to have their own personal everything or it's sooooooooo gross". I guess they are just cleaner and more pure than most people on the planet.

Hey, this thread could become epic. It could be the new peanut butter issue: the sharing of any item that may have at one time, before being washed, touched another person's what-what. Or shoes in the house. Or whatever first world elitist issues we can make up.

PS - I was just telling one of my sons about this ridiculous discussion, and he said, "Oh, mom, you should tell 'em that sometimes we have bought our boxers at the thrift store - that'll really put 'em over the edge". So there you go :lol: Some more red meat.

[pixydust]

It clearly doesn't need to be logical. Being "squicked out" personally is apparently enough to tell others how wrong they are for not being squicked out over mixing laundry and thinking your panties are never really clean :shock: :roll:

I don't care what other people do, but I resent people coming on here saying, "OMG, OMG, because I'm squicked out, everyone needs to have their own personal everything or it's sooooooooo gross". I guess they are just cleaner and more pure than most people on the planet.

Hey, this thread could become epic. It could be the new peanut butter issue: the sharing of any item that may have at one time, before being washed, touched another person's what-what. Or shoes in the house. Or whatever first world elitist issues we can make up.

PS - I was just telling one of my sons about this ridiculous discussion, and he said, "Oh, mom, you should tell 'em that sometimes we have bought our boxers at the thrift store - that'll really put 'em over the edge". So there you go :lol: Some more red meat.

I don't think that everyone else needs to get all squicky about it, but I do think that if kids/teens/young adults want their own undies that no one else wears, they should get them. For me personally, I'm not sharing undies, but I don't care if others do as long as it is their choice. When my SIL lived with us, she took mine out of the laundry room one day and wore them, and I told her to keep them, but she is pretty skeevy.

[O Latin]

I, too, am very particular about making sure no one but me ever uses my sheets, towels, etc. (I had to stay in a hotel recently and it totally freaked me out). But at the same time, my friends and I take sips of each other's drinks and I follow the five second rule when food falls on the floor. So I understand people having different personal hygiene quirks and things they just can't stand. These things don't really come up that much in conversation so I think a lot of people go their whole lives not really realizing that not everybody does X the way they do, so I think that's where the "OMG you don't do it like I do!?!?" comes from.

[Mommy22alyns]

Re: the underwear thing...way back when the Maxwell's Mom's board was still running and publicly viewable, a mother wrote asking how to handle laundry. Her brilliant idea was that because she and her daughters wore the same size panties, they should just buy some jumbo packs of the white Hanes type, then wash them in hot water (possibly bleach) and have a central location for all to pull from - so basically, the mother and daughters would all share underwear.

Granted, most of the other moms tried to tell her that was a bad idea, but their argument was that her husband (the daughter's father) should not be looking that mom in an "intimate way" while the mom was wearing the daughter's underwear. I don't recall someone saying "crazy lady, kids should have their OWN underwear" but someone might have ...it was a long time ago.

I think that when women have more children than they can handle and when they're drinking koolaid by the gallon, they grasp for anything that will make their lives easier, and I can't say I blame them... although things like birth control, daycare, etc would provide way more help than a central underwear location ever could.

Okay, this makes me want to vomit. My girls are 6 and 8 and THEY share undies, not a big deal. But to share with me would be beyond nasty.

[Feberin]

I think adults sharing underwear is a little weird but just got a bunch of hand-me-down cloth trainers from my SIL to use when my son is ready to potty train. We use cloth diapers and I'm expecting our second child to wear all the same diapers that my son wore since that was the whole point of spending all the money to get nice cloth diapers. We'll save some money on doing cloth with my son but baby two is going to save us a bundle!

[bananacat]

Seriously? I wear undies to protect my pants so I can wear them more than once. That way the undies get dirty and the pants don't. That doesn't mean they don't get clean again when WASHED. Out of curiosity, to those of you who are completely squicked out by the idea- do you always wash your underwear separately from anyone else's, or even in a different machine? What is it that makes you think washed underwear is still unclean? I can understand not wanting to share (I don't personally share underwear with friends or family) but it isn't because I don't think it's a health hazard or something.

But if the undies get cleaned when washed, why won't the pants get just as clean when washed? It doesn't make any sense to protect your pants if you think they can become perfectly clean.

[Constance Vigilance]

But if the undies get cleaned when washed, why won't the pants get just as clean when washed? It doesn't make any sense to protect your pants if you think they can become perfectly clean.

I don't understand what this means. Underwear is worn once. Pants (at least for me) are often worn more than once. So you take underwear off and wash it, and the pants are still perfectly clean to be worn another day.