Shit Christians Say to Jews

[ems]

Totally, WTF? Why do people do this?

It ranks right up there with "I know it's not PC to say it, but..." and "You're not SUPPOSED to say it nowadays, but..." Which translate as "I am a bigoted wanker who is about to inflict my bigotry on you."

http://www.notracistbut.com/

[gravelmonkey]

This is one of my favorites, right up there with "Things Gay Guys Say To Their Cats" and "Things White Girls Say To Black Girls". It totally surprises me how little people know about Judaism in this day and age. The area I grew up in was fairly diverse and I grew up with a lot of friends who were Jewish. When I went to college my roommate had never even MET a Jewish person before. I will always remember her asking me why we had school off for "yum kipper".

That was definitely me. I had gone to Catholic schools all my life, so while I knew other religions existed, I wasn't mentally prepared to encounter them. I asked some STUPID questions and learned a lot. (On the topic of public universities, I never did get used to free condom week.)

[RachelB]

My former neighbor, who is Reform, was exasperated by two things she heard fairly regularly at work:

1) "You're Jewish? Great! That means you won't mind working on Easter Sunday!" (the busiest day of the year at the restaurant where she worked).

2) "You want the day off for Yom Kippur? When is that?" (looks at calendar) "Oh, well, we were kind of counting on having you here that day. Can't you celebrate it some other time?"

[VintageJen1984]

Well Jewish, Christian, doesn't really matter, I always ask people if they are related to people who have the same last name. Especially if that name isn't common. And there is like five spellings of Hanukkah, so asking how to spell it, not a big deal. But the other questions are insanely rude.

[Peas n carrots]

I've had both of those! I also get "you don't look Jewish", "Well, Jesus loves Jewish people, too!", "do you speak Hebrew? (or "Isreali" depending on the person), "I thought that Jews with tattoos get stoned to death or something", "Who in your family died in a concentration camp?" (none, we've been in the US since the late 1700's and 1840's).

Reminds me of Spaceballs when Barf said "she's druish? She doesn't look like a druish princess!" :D

My husband works for a Jewish org that runs a thrift store. Unfortunately the store gets Nazi paraphernalia (I don't know where you can even buy that crap) donated on a regular basis. However the idiots who do that don't realize most of the folks who work in the store aren't Jewish!

[Peas n carrots]

I had a Church-goer neighbor once who thought all Jews were rich and wealthy because they were hoarders and misers :roll:

same old same old.

But she did gave me examples such as Yossele from Poland (which actually was a Polish myth)

and then she mentioned real characters like the Rothschilds and Sir Manasseh Masseh Lopes, who was the actual inspiration for the Ivanhoe Character Isaac of York.

Honestly, I have never known any Jewish person in real life who was a miser or greedy. So apparently people like my neighbor who says that are obviously lying and ignorant of real Judaism.

As noted above, DH works for a Jewish non prophet. There are so man orgs like his I can't keep up. Its not uncommon for people to drop by thr office and write out checks in the tens of thousands. I like how much giving to those in need (without expecting anything in return) is emphasized in the Jewish community. At least in my experience there is significantly less emphasis on this point (and usually an expectation of conversion).

[SisiL78]

In regards to Nazi Paraphenalia.... I used to work in an office that was part of a small convention center complex (it was a weird set up for an engineering firm, but sorta cool too). Anyhoo, usually there were comic-cons or bridal shows. But, one day we come in and see a huge convention called "military max" and it was one booth after another selling Nazi souvenirs (and some from the Korean war). All that stuff that Grandpa might have taken home as a souvenir after WWII and you didn't know what to do with has slowly ended up at these conventions where Nazi nuts buy it up and play dress up. There were real guns and uniforms as well as things like plates and glasses with the swastika. It was disgusting. The fact that I had to walk through this convention two years in a row was scary. These idiots didn't even try to mask their hatefulness. No surprise that the attendants were almost exclusively white men (and white women who were not among the earth's prettiest specimens).

I suspect that there is lots of this stuff lying around in people's attics and the decent human beings don't know what to do with it. The soldiers who brought back guns and Nazi bric-a-brac were doing it as a FU to the Nazis. But, if you find it when cleaning up your grandparent's house or something there are historical societies who will gladly find an appropriate home for it... otherwise it could end up on display at the home of some a-hole who idolizes Nazis.

I'm enjoying this thread. I think I've had most of this stuff myself. My name/looks aren't Jewishy enough for people and I've heard some interesting comments made. I used to try and brush it off as ignorance, but you'd think that in this day and age that ignorance would be lessened somehow...

[SisiL78]

Yup, I have been asked how rich I am, as if its just a matter of how much not whether I am or am not. They take my used car and low market clothing as a sign of my cheapness, not a sign of my actual socio-economic status. I just can't believe that in 2012 people are still so ignorant. I've done fundraising for Jewish orgs and you wouldn't believe the shock when someone asks why I would be raising money for poor Jews... They just don't seem to think that this could happen. I got a lot of this when I helped raise money for Katrina victims, both Jewish and not. The shock that there were Jews in New Orleans, Jews that didn't have a ton of money, AND that over half the money was also going to go to non-Jewish victims was just beyond their comprehension!!

Just a few months ago a friend of a friend who I ran into at a YART sale (Yard sale for artists) asked me if I bargained down the photographer that I purchased a print from. I said that no I did not and she said something to the effect of "But, you're a Russian Jew and you didn't bargain him down?". I told her it was racist, and she continued to say stupid sh*t like "But, Jews are just known as thrifty" etc.... Ya, I'm thrifty but not because I'm Jewish. I'm thrifty because I grew up poor, poor enough that we sometimes got our power turned off and poor enough that I never had what the other kids had. SO I'm cautious with my money. But, its not because I'm a Jew.

[cindyluvs24]

amen. i can't begin to tell you the number of perfectly nice, reasonable people who know me and are shocked when they find out that I was not exactly to the manor born. Even better is when I show them my union card from when I worked in a warehouse while in college and law school. Yup, drove a forklift. Wore steel-toed boots and a vest. Proud of it. "But, you're, like, Jewish. That is sooooo funny." And my favorite : "Well hey, Jews and law. right?" (um right, it was so simple. Not)

I live in a heavily Asian-Indian-Jewish area and I find there is a certain kind of person that cannot stand to see someone with more money who is different from himself.

[Emme]

Last week during Hanukkah my friend goes (as I'm saying the Hanukkah prayer): Wait.. why can't I understand what you're saying?

Also, "all Jews are really good bakers. Because you and this Jewish family I know both make really good cookies" (yes, and we are indicative of alllll the Jews)

and "Don't worry, all my favorite bible heros are Jewish"

I miss living in a diverse area!

[SisiL78]

LOL, I never heard the baking one!!!

I've found that people are amazed that there are different Jewish cultures like the idea that there are Jews of Spanish origin (there must be something wrong with our educational system if the inquisition is no longer taught), or that Jews of Morrocan, Iraqi, Iranian descent look different and have different foods/culture than JEws of Eastern Europe (what I like to think of as the "standard" Jew that most Americans think of).

Its funny that the Eastern European traditions/foods are what people associate with Jews yet these Eastern European Jews were dirt poor.

As for Unions, I have described to otherwise educated people that it was Jewish women in the garment trade that spearheaded the union movement in the US. THey were working in deplorable conditions and many died in the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire.

I'd suggest to anyone who is interested in Jewish immigrant (or other immigrant) culture to visit the tenement museum in NYC. http://www.tenement.org/

They have an amazing way of showing what life was really like for immigrants. I would hope that this would cure anyone of the idea that Jews are all rich, or that the Irish are all alcoholics or whatever other stupid stereotypes there are. Its really an indication of how hard people worked and what they sacrificed to give their kids a better life.

In a way its amazing that a century ago you had immigrant mothers and fathers working the way they did in order to send some of their kids to school and university. And now there is a segment of the public that idolizes people who had opportunities like a university education who choose to deny their children a decent education and opportunities and call it religion and protection.

[AuntCloud]

Last week during Hanukkah my friend goes (as I'm saying the Hanukkah prayer): Wait.. why can't I understand what you're saying?

Also, "all Jews are really good bakers. Because you and this Jewish family I know both make really good cookies" (yes, and we are indicative of alllll the Jews)

and "Don't worry, all my favorite bible heros are Jewish"

I miss living in a diverse area!

That explains my baking skills, then.

Mercifully, I haven't heard the seriously inane stuff other than "So, do you speak Israeli?". My mother-in-law in the Deep South, though, had a lengthy argument with a lady who would not be convinced that Jerusalem is a real city that you can get a parking ticket in. What do you mean, it's not in heaven? of course it is!

[pixydust]

That explains my baking skills, then.

Mercifully, I haven't heard the seriously inane stuff other than "So, do you speak Israeli?". My mother-in-law in the Deep South, though, had a lengthy argument with a lady who would not be convinced that Jerusalem is a real city that you can get a parking ticket in. What do you mean, it's not in heaven? of course it is!

OMG.....I just want to go crawl in a hole! How does anyone in the US not know that Jerusalem is a real city?

Oh, as for the Inquisition, my husband graduated high school in NC in 1999 and he was taught almost nothing about it, and nothing about the Jews.(There is a lot of other stuff that he was taught weirdly, or info was left out, but thankfully we have Google! LOL).

[2xx1xy1JD]

LOL, I never heard the baking one!!!

I've found that people are amazed that there are different Jewish cultures like the idea that there are Jews of Spanish origin (there must be something wrong with our educational system if the inquisition is no longer taught), or that Jews of Morrocan, Iraqi, Iranian descent look different and have different foods/culture than JEws of Eastern Europe (what I like to think of as the "standard" Jew that most Americans think of).

Its funny that the Eastern European traditions/foods are what people associate with Jews yet these Eastern European Jews were dirt poor.

As for Unions, I have described to otherwise educated people that it was Jewish women in the garment trade that spearheaded the union movement in the US. THey were working in deplorable conditions and many died in the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire.

I'd suggest to anyone who is interested in Jewish immigrant (or other immigrant) culture to visit the tenement museum in NYC. http://www.tenement.org/

They have an amazing way of showing what life was really like for immigrants. I would hope that this would cure anyone of the idea that Jews are all rich, or that the Irish are all alcoholics or whatever other stupid stereotypes there are. Its really an indication of how hard people worked and what they sacrificed to give their kids a better life.

In a way its amazing that a century ago you had immigrant mothers and fathers working the way they did in order to send some of their kids to school and university. And now there is a segment of the public that idolizes people who had opportunities like a university education who choose to deny their children a decent education and opportunities and call it religion and protection.

.

Ditto to all of that.

Although, to be fair, I did need to sit my mother down and explain to her that my boyfriend's Iraqi father (now my FIL) wouldn't speak Yiddish.

[2xx1xy1JD]

That was definitely me. I had gone to Catholic schools all my life, so while I knew other religions existed, I wasn't mentally prepared to encounter them. I asked some STUPID questions and learned a lot. (On the topic of public universities, I never did get used to free condom week.)

Can't speak for all Jews, but I don't find genuine questions asked out of curiosity and interest to be stupid. I only object to people who are rude, and I'm not crazy about anti-semitic stereotypes either. I remember explaining to a classmate in law school why there were no classes on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur.

I don't expect the average person in a non-Jewish area to know all of our holidays. I mean, how many people were fully aware of Diwali celebrations in November? Hindus certainly outnumber Jews in the world.

[pixydust]

Can't speak for all Jews, but I don't find genuine questions asked out of curiosity and interest to be stupid. I only object to people who are rude, and I'm not crazy about anti-semitic stereotypes either. I remember explaining to a classmate in law school why there were no classes on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur.

I don't expect the average person in a non-Jewish area to know all of our holidays. I mean, how many people were fully aware of Diwali celebrations in November? Hindus certainly outnumber Jews in the world.

I really don't mind legitimate questions about Judaism, when my husband and I began dating he had a ton of questions for me and we had some great conversations about it. Many of our friends and his family ask me questions, and I think it's great! His dad and I talked one Easter for about 45 minutes about Jewish laws, it was great! It bothers me when people just spout off stereotypes to me, or assume that the only reason I "don't love Jesus" is because I don't know about him, or when it is so insanely ignorant (like the woman who thought Jerusalem was in heaven and not a real city). I'm also over being told that I"m sending my kids to hell, or that it "won't hurt them to go to church" (sure, you send your kids to a mosque every week, first!).

[pomology]

Thankfully, I don't get that many dumb comments and questions. Maybe it's because such a large percentage of my friends are Jewish (which is completely random, because most of the Jews that I know who I like I didn't mean through a Jewish school/camp/organization) I don't have a problem explaining legitimate questions.

I do have a friend who is an extremely devout questions. And she would ask me questions like "Do you keep kosher because God will love you more if you do?" that I didn't really know how to respond to.

[gravelmonkey]

I really don't mind legitimate questions about Judaism, when my husband and I began dating he had a ton of questions for me and we had some great conversations about it. Many of our friends and his family ask me questions, and I think it's great! His dad and I talked one Easter for about 45 minutes about Jewish laws, it was great! It bothers me when people just spout off stereotypes to me, or assume that the only reason I "don't love Jesus" is because I don't know about him, or when it is so insanely ignorant (like the woman who thought Jerusalem was in heaven and not a real city). I'm also over being told that I"m sending my kids to hell, or that it "won't hurt them to go to church" (sure, you send your kids to a mosque every week, first!).

I was just super fascinated with certain portions of Judaism (like the idea of kosher) to the point of being annoying. It didn't help that I was asking someone who didn't like talking about religion (daddy issues). Another one of my Jewish friends liked talking religion, so throughout college we had a lot of conversations about religions, both ours and otherwise. His description of Catholicism (based solely on Christmas carols he'd heard) was both interesting and humorous.

[thoughtful]

Oh, as for the Inquisition, my husband graduated high school in NC in 1999 and he was taught almost nothing about it, and nothing about the Jews.

My mother, who graduated from high school in the 1940s, has spoken about the fact that her public school didn't teach about the Inquisition or the expulsion from Spain, and did glorify the Crusades.

She learned the less savory details from other sources.

[mystikchick17]

I think I'll "shul shop" more when I get back to the US. I was disappointed and it turned me off converting, you know, if they don't want me I don't want them either!! sort of mentality but even with the initial rejections/hesitance I'm still very interested, so I think I've got to try again.

I was pretty surprised too. I was interested in Reform precisely because I figured those two issues wouldn't be issues!

That is really, really surprising to me. My rabbi freely acknowledges that I am in an unusual situation, being a convert in a serious, headed-towards-marriage relationship with a Catholic, but it's not a barrier to my conversion. I'm not even required to swear that my kids are going to be raised Jewish, even though they will be considered Jewish by the Reform and Conservative movements. Do some shul shopping, check out websites, etc., and be honest with the rabbis with whom you meet, but I know for mine, the fact that your queer and the fact that you're in a relationship with a non-Jew would not be a barrier to conversion.

[SisiL78]

That is really, really surprising to me. My rabbi freely acknowledges that I am in an unusual situation, being a convert in a serious, headed-towards-marriage relationship with a Catholic, but it's not a barrier to my conversion. I'm not even required to swear that my kids are going to be raised Jewish, even though they will be considered Jewish by the Reform and Conservative movements. Do some shul shopping, check out websites, etc., and be honest with the rabbis with whom you meet, but I know for mine, the fact that your queer and the fact that you're in a relationship with a non-Jew would not be a barrier to conversion.

Its just how Judaism is. They/We are very anti-converting so there will be some rejection at first on principal. I have a few friends who have converted and for some of them they felt that the Reform and Conservative movements were far more their style. At my shul (if you're moving to Pittsburgh I can refer you!) The Rabbi has started some Jewish learning classes. The classes are open to converts, non-Jews married to Jews, and to Jews who need some basic Judaism classes... So its a good way to get one's feet wet. He's also the type to say "I have to reject you now because they'll take away my Rabbi secret card, but come back in X number of days and I might be of a different mind.. wink wink nudge nudge"

Some Chabad houses are great too, especially if the couple running the Chabad are converts or Ba'al Teshuva (raised secular but became religious in adulthood). They have a much better understanding of the challenges. They will try to dissuade you too, but I've seen them guide several people through conversion here so they must be doing it with a wink wink nudge nudge too... Its so individual, which is what can be hard about Judaism. Jews don't speak with a single unified voice. I think its both the great thing about Judaism but also a weak point.

[Emme]

That explains my baking skills, then.

Mercifully, I haven't heard the seriously inane stuff other than "So, do you speak Israeli?". My mother-in-law in the Deep South, though, had a lengthy argument with a lady who would not be convinced that Jerusalem is a real city that you can get a parking ticket in. What do you mean, it's not in heaven? of course it is!

We chosen ones make a mean cake! Woohoo! I don't usually hear dumb shit, but I moved in August to a non-jewish area so now I'm the token Jew!

Also, re:Jerusalem, holy CRAP! That's craziness.

[mystikchick17]

Its just how Judaism is. They/We are very anti-converting so there will be some rejection at first on principal. I have a few friends who have converted and for some of them they felt that the Reform and Conservative movements were far more their style. At my shul (if you're moving to Pittsburgh I can refer you!) The Rabbi has started some Jewish learning classes. The classes are open to converts, non-Jews married to Jews, and to Jews who need some basic Judaism classes... So its a good way to get one's feet wet. He's also the type to say "I have to reject you now because they'll take away my Rabbi secret card, but come back in X number of days and I might be of a different mind.. wink wink nudge nudge"

Some Chabad houses are great too, especially if the couple running the Chabad are converts or Ba'al Teshuva (raised secular but became religious in adulthood). They have a much better understanding of the challenges. They will try to dissuade you too, but I've seen them guide several people through conversion here so they must be doing it with a wink wink nudge nudge too... Its so individual, which is what can be hard about Judaism. Jews don't speak with a single unified voice. I think its both the great thing about Judaism but also a weak point.

Secret rabbi card - love it! Someone better tell mine he's doing it wrong by advertising on the temple website that he does conversions...

Half my intro to Judaism class was made up of interfaith couples (mostly like me, Jewish/Catholic, this being Boston and all), but I was the only convert-in-process in an interfaith relationship (well, there was one who was married to an atheist), the rest were born Jews.

And I <3 the Reform Movement because of its open-minded, non-judgmental attitude. I take great pride in the fact that my congregation hosted a transrabbi to give a beautiful D'var Torah two weeks ago.

[2xx1xy1JD]

That is really, really surprising to me. My rabbi freely acknowledges that I am in an unusual situation, being a convert in a serious, headed-towards-marriage relationship with a Catholic, but it's not a barrier to my conversion. I'm not even required to swear that my kids are going to be raised Jewish, even though they will be considered Jewish by the Reform and Conservative movements. Do some shul shopping, check out websites, etc., and be honest with the rabbis with whom you meet, but I know for mine, the fact that your queer and the fact that you're in a relationship with a non-Jew would not be a barrier to conversion.

I don't know if it matters to you at all, but double-check if there is automatic acceptance by the Conservative movement as well. Different congregations have different standards.

[J'ean Skirt]

Thankfully, I don't get that many dumb comments and questions. Maybe it's because such a large percentage of my friends are Jewish (which is completely random, because most of the Jews that I know who I like I didn't mean through a Jewish school/camp/organization) I don't have a problem explaining legitimate questions.

I do have a friend who is an extremely devout questions. And she would ask me questions like "Do you keep kosher because God will love you more if you do?" that I didn't really know how to respond to.

A lot of our current social group is Jewish and we try to be reasonably respectful when inviting people over for meals. Substituting smoked duck for ham, that kind of thing.

I did have one evening, though, where we invited one friend over after work on the spur of the moment. She'd had a really rough day and I told her to come over and we'd feed her soup and fresh bread. The soup was creamy turnip soup that starts off with "sauté onions in bacon..." and finishes with "add cream to serve."

I still remember standing in the kitchen asking the SO "wait, can we mix cream with bacon and still serve it to R?" He looked at me. I looked at him. Then collapsed in "OMG, stupid!!" :doh:

We swapped out the bacon for curry powder and olive oil -- and discovered another really yummy way to make creamy turnip soup.