Shit Christians Say to Jews

[Tanaqui]

My very Baptist aunt asked my friend if she accepted Jesus as her Lord and Saviour (you could hear the capitals). My friend responded with "Um, no, that's kinda what makes me Jewish."

[lilah]

I'm Jewish, and I've heard some doozies. The 'did your ancestors die in concentration camps" really grates me, it just is a very insensitive question.

Some other good ones.

"Did you know you killed my lord and savior?" (pretty sure that neither of us were there at the crucifixion)

"you mean you don't get a stocking at Christmas?" (said as if I'm this poor charity case)

'What's it like being Jewish?" (I've been Jewish my whole life, it's not like i have a basis for comparison)

Yesterday I was talking to my students about freedom of religion and I mentioned that I'm Jewish. One of my students said "but you don't have a Jewish accent!" She couldn't tell me what Jewish Accent would sound like. I'm guessing she meant a New york one.

[Doomed Harlottt]

I was at a party once with a woman who was intent on questioning my ethnic origins. I mentioned having a Jewish grandparent and the woman said, "But you don't look Jewish. And you have such a cute little nose." The irony, of course, is that I strongly resemble the relatives on the Jewish side of my family.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Both those videos are great!

My hair, apparently, is a heretic. How else do I explain how it is so straight and thin that I've practically got a receding hairline? Someone also forgot to tell my middle child's nose that's it's Jewish.

I would have loved to say to the Arkansas group, "Wow, I've never met someone from Arkansas in real life before! Do you know the Duggars? Is it true that you guys eat weird things like Tater Tot casserole?"

Of course, if you really want to up the ante on stupid comments, be a Jew of non-European descent! Hours of fun as you explain that Jews aren't really a race, that your family didn't come from "somewhere in Europe" prior to wherever they were originally from, that you don't speak Yiddish or eat gefilte fish, that it's possible for Jews to speak Arabic/Farsi/Hindi etc.

[GeoBQn]

I'm Jewish, and I've heard some doozies. The 'did your ancestors die in concentration camps" really grates me, it just is a very insensitive question.

Then there are the people who are overly sensitive about it. While taking a class on avant-garde art, I discovered a Dada artist who was Jewish and had the same last name as me. Because my last name is very uncommon, and even less common among Jews, I set out to determine if we were related. (Results are inconclusive, but my dad insists he has the "family forehead.") When I told people about it, they asked what happened to the artist, and I said he died in the Holocaust. They'd respond, "Oh! I'm so sorry!" Thanks for the concern, but it's not like I didn't know that was a possibility.

When my husband and I were at the Shrine of the Book in Jerusalem to see the Dead Sea Scrolls, there was a Christian tour group listening to a guide. The guide made a joke that the "Sadducees were 'sad' because they didn't accept the resurrection of Jesus." That just struck me as really inappropriate.

[Doomed Harlottt]

As for shit that white people say to black people, I can think of two examples I've personally witnessed:

1) A white acquaintance was nattering on about getting a tan. Then suddenly she turns to the black woman in the group and says, "Oh my god, I am so sorry." Somehow she thought it was rude to talk about tanning in front of a black person because . . . ????

2) At an office party, a white guy turns to the only black woman present and says, "It must be awfully painful for you watching all these white people trying to dance." It was meant as a joke but the guy hardly knew her and . . . it was just inappropriate.

[ilovetchotchkes]

I've actually contacted places about Reform conversion, but being a lesbian in a long term relationship with a Buddhist is a turn off for those I've talked to, which I was surprised at. :/

I'm surprised at that. Most Reform congregations i've seen are VERY accepting of LTBTQ folks. ALthough there are some that are more than others. And most Reform rabbis i know are cool with creating what would be considered an "intermarriage'- we were worried when my husband and I converted because we were converting at different places (LONG story). You might just have to shul shop a bit more. Mine would have done it I KNOW it. (Mine also does same sex commitment ceremonies too. His caveat- you have to do the same stuff opposite sex couples have to do, that's it). I'm in Chicago though so I pretty much had my pick of congregations because I think its in the top 3 of highest concentration of Jews in the US. (NY being #1 i'm SURE)

Oh and FWIW, i'm an ex Catholic with a crazy Catholic family. Some of whom I was terrified at telling I converted. I kept it a secret til I did it. They were surprisingly accepting. I think the Catholic thing with Judaism, its a little easier, as from what I understand they view it as "Jews have PART of the truth, but we have MOAR, its TRUTHIER to be Catholic".

Edited because i forgot stuff and having to hear my kid's Rock and ROll Elmo is sucking my brain dry *shudder* I hate elmo.

[pomology]

Yup, we are

Cool. I'm entirely Eastern European and my family all came here in the mass emigration that started in the 1880s, but I saw those dates and they immediately set off the American Jewish history nerd in me.

Also, Kelya, that's really weird. I'm surprised and somewhat horrified that Reform Jews would have a problem with that. Obviously Orthos would and I'm sure Conservatives would (though I hope that would be for the intermarriage aspect of it and they would not discriminate against gay people), but I thought Reform Jews would be more open minded.

Anyway, I rarely if ever get this kind of comment. The closest I can think of is when some friends asked me if it was true that it was a stereotype that Jews went out for Chinese on Christmas. I assured them that not only was it a stereotype, it was true.

[Kelya]

I think I'll "shul shop" more when I get back to the US. I was disappointed and it turned me off converting, you know, if they don't want me I don't want them either!! sort of mentality but even with the initial rejections/hesitance I'm still very interested, so I think I've got to try again.

I was pretty surprised too. I was interested in Reform precisely because I figured those two issues wouldn't be issues!

[ilovetchotchkes]

I think I'll "shul shop" more when I get back to the US. I was disappointed and it turned me off converting, you know, if they don't want me I don't want them either!! sort of mentality but even with the initial rejections/hesitance I'm still very interested, so I think I've got to try again.

I was pretty surprised too. I was interested in Reform precisely because I figured those two issues wouldn't be issues!

Another thing too, the Rabbi could be doing the 3x rejection thing. (derp! that just occurred to me!). If mine did it it was exquisitely subtle. But some don't do it like that. Apparently they have to turn you down 3 times. :P

[Avalondaughter]

I think it's sort of funny how we make assumptions about people's religion.

I live in the suburbs of NYC where it seems a huge chunk of the population is of Italian or Jewish heritage (especially in the town where I grew up). I'm Italian, Irish, and Swiss. Although my Swiss heritage is the weakest, it gave me my last name, which is very Germanic sounding. My Italian heritage (which is dominant) provided me with my olive skin and very curly dark hair along with a rather prominent nose. Then my first name is Rachel. People automatically assume with my name and my looks that I am Jewish. I once had a couple who have known me for years suddenly decide to put me on their holiday card mailing list. They sent me a Hanukah card! I had a good laugh over it. They never asked me my religion and just assumed.

My husband is Jewish and definitely doesn't fit the stereotypical physical profile. His hair is light brown, his eyes are green, and his skin is pale. His first name is Kevin and his last name is very WASP-y (because his father changed the family name legally). I always joke that if you ask a stranger which one of us Jewish and which one of us has Irish hertiage, no one would get it right on the first try.

[booksnbeats]

My husband is one of those people who everyone assumes is Jewish, based on his appearance--people have come up and started speaking Hebrew at him in airports, and he's always ended up with tons of Jewish friends. His family are recent Italian immigrants, but their name/heritage is Czech, so he thinks they might have converted generations back. Anyway, we also have Jewish friends who are totally WASPy-looking.

[pomology]

Another thing too, the Rabbi could be doing the 3x rejection thing. (derp! that just occurred to me!). If mine did it it was exquisitely subtle. But some don't do it like that. Apparently they have to turn you down 3 times. :P

That's true, although Kelya said specifically that the lesbian and being in a long-term relationship with a Buddhist is what turned them off. I'd think a Rabbi who had no problems with homosexuality or interfaith relationships and had any tact would do the three time rejection thing by saying things like "Why would you want to become a member of a hated people?" or even "Why would you want to face even more discrimination in society than you already do?" and it doesn't sound like that's what happened.

Anyway, Kelya, best of luck finding what's best for you, whether it's in Judaism or not!

[ilovetchotchkes]

That's true, although Kelya said specifically that the lesbian and being in a long-term relationship with a Buddhist is what turned them off. I'd think a Rabbi who had no problems with homosexuality or interfaith relationships and had any tact would do the three time rejection thing by saying things like "Why would you want to become a member of a hated people?" or even "Why would you want to face even more discrimination in society than you already do?" and it doesn't sound like that's what happened.

Anyway, Kelya, best of luck finding what's best for you, whether it's in Judaism or not!

True. I think i'm just in shock that it'd be an issue.

[Hane]

I know someone whose family name is Weiss, and they pronounce it "Weece"--"so people won't think we're Jewish.". I think that's one of the douchiest statements ever made.

And my Jewish cousins could pass for finalists in the WASP Olympics.

[Kelya]

True. I think i'm just in shock that it'd be an issue.

I was wondering if it was the 3X thing, and if it was, I definitely was not ready at that point, because I did not go back! I sort of don't think it was though, and even if it was that shul was not for me because the gay and intermarriage questions were answered truthfully! I originally was like "fine, if its just a gay hesitancy, I can still convert and sort of be an opportunity for education!" but the more I thought about it, the more I thought it'd be an awkward and hard position to be in as a convert.

Sorry for the thread hijack!

[Gizmola]

May I ask a very ignorant, stupid question as long as you know I'm asking very respectfully and out of a desire to be more knowledgeable?

Here it is:

I have a friend who was raised Jewish (Jewish parents, bar mitzvah, etc.) Don't know if he was Conservative, Reform, etc. I don't think Orthodox. We're in the midst of not talking so I can't ask right now. I do know he grew up in a kosher home and still refuses to eat bacon or eat cheeseburgers.

He is also a militant atheist. Like, really thinks theists of any kind are not only willfully stupid but evil. (he has a lot of issues, don't get me started)

BUT....

I remember very clearly that he was very proud of his Isreali citizenship and has never renounced it, even when he renounced God.

He still considers himself Jewish. But Jewish and an atheist. I once asked him about it and he said that all Jewish people can be traced to 12 tribes (I think have that correct) so he deems himself to be of the Jewish "race." I do remember him saying that specifically because it seemed so odd to me that one could ever convert to a "race."

So my question is - what the hell was he talking about? Can he really still claim to be Jewish if he's an avowed atheist? I mean, if one were raised Catholic and became an atheist they don't consider themselves a Catholic atheist. At least not the raised Catholic/atheists I know.

Please don't kill me if this whole post is wrong on every level. I was raised as a horrible, ignorant heathen atheist and have spent most of my life learning little religious tidbits other take for granted.

Thank you very much.

[finleeport]

I remember when I was 6 or 7 I tried to talk about Jesus to a Jewish social worker, still makes me feel ashamed just by remembering it. As I grew older and explored more, I asked myself what makes my Christian faith superior than others, can God really be that petty? can he only accept those who believe in him the 'true' way? I hope if Judgment Day ever comes, God will look down on those insecure missionaries.

Also I would like to say that even though we have different faiths (and that my fundie step-grandma insisted that Jews are held responsible for Jesus's death) I always believed that if it hadn't been for the Jews, we would have never known about the God of Abraham. And technically, we Christians are worshiping a Jewish God.

[nolongerIFBx]

Anyway, I rarely if ever get this kind of comment. The closest I can think of is when some friends asked me if it was true that it was a stereotype that Jews went out for Chinese on Christmas. I assured them that not only was it a stereotype, it was true.

Sterotype or not, I love it. My mom and I went to the Chinese buffet after church this year and we've goen other years too. I always say it is a great tradition. If I had my own family, I think this would be a tradition that I would have to start.

[Beeks]

LOL, I love all these stories. My husband had the opposite issue - before he converted, everybody thought he was Jewish. He has an extremely Jewish name and looks. When he first moved to Los Angeles he could not for the life of him figure out why people were wishing him a happy new year in September. =)

[CynicMom]

I was taught that Judaism is both a religion and a race. So you can be of Jewish heritage but have a different religion. You can also be not of Jewish heritage and convert to Judaism. The two get conflated but I was taught they are really two distinct ideas.

[urban teacher]

I am Syrian and when teaching in New Mexico, complained to the principal about my aide telling the students that they would go to hell if they were bad and that angels watched over them. I was at the staff holiday party when another teacher came up to me and asked"What do your people do for Christmas?" I informed her that my people had a theme and dressed up in costume. It wasn't until later(I am slow) that I realized that she was told I was Jewish (otherwise why would I get upset about hell and angels). So there is a small town in NM who thinks Jews dress in costume for Christmastime.

[QAF_Rocks]

So my question is - what the hell was he talking about? Can he really still claim to be Jewish if he's an avowed atheist? I mean, if one were raised Catholic and became an atheist they don't consider themselves a Catholic atheist. At least not the raised Catholic/atheists I know.

There are plenty of atheist Jews out there. I guess it's because being Jewish is not only considered a religion, but also, depending on your perspective, a racial/ethnic/cultural group.

Atheism doesn't preclude involvement in organized Judaism. Humanistic Judaism is one secular branch, but you can find atheists in some of the other branches, too.

[LucySnowe]

Sterotype or not, I love it. My mom and I went to the Chinese buffet after church this year and we've goen other years too. I always say it is a great tradition. If I had my own family, I think this would be a tradition that I would have to start.

Oh, this so much. My husband and I had our first married Christmas this year, and since I'm Jewish and he's an atheist, and the people he usually spends Christmas evening with had family issues to deal with, and we had none of our own families around, we ended up volunteering at a homeless drop-in shelter. If we hadn't been fed there, we'd have absolutely gone out for Chinese, because It Is What My People Do and hey, part of marrying was blending our traditions, right? :D

[2xx1xy1JD]

May I ask a very ignorant, stupid question as long as you know I'm asking very respectfully and out of a desire to be more knowledgeable?

Here it is:

I have a friend who was raised Jewish (Jewish parents, bar mitzvah, etc.) Don't know if he was Conservative, Reform, etc. I don't think Orthodox. We're in the midst of not talking so I can't ask right now. I do know he grew up in a kosher home and still refuses to eat bacon or eat cheeseburgers.

He is also a militant atheist. Like, really thinks theists of any kind are not only willfully stupid but evil. (he has a lot of issues, don't get me started)

BUT....

I remember very clearly that he was very proud of his Isreali citizenship and has never renounced it, even when he renounced God.

He still considers himself Jewish. But Jewish and an atheist. I once asked him about it and he said that all Jewish people can be traced to 12 tribes (I think have that correct) so he deems himself to be of the Jewish "race." I do remember him saying that specifically because it seemed so odd to me that one could ever convert to a "race."

So my question is - what the hell was he talking about? Can he really still claim to be Jewish if he's an avowed atheist? I mean, if one were raised Catholic and became an atheist they don't consider themselves a Catholic atheist. At least not the raised Catholic/atheists I know.

Please don't kill me if this whole post is wrong on every level. I was raised as a horrible, ignorant heathen atheist and have spent most of my life learning little religious tidbits other take for granted.

Thank you very much.

Yes, you can be both atheist and Jewish. That would describe my grandmother, for example.

The answer to the "race" question is a bit sketchier. I happen to believe that race is a social construct, FWIW, so it has a fluid definition. Yes, there is the idea of descent from common ancestors. Yes, traditional Judaism defines "who is a Jew" by saying that if your mother was Jewish, you are Jewish. And yes, many Jews happened to live in tight-knit communities and inbreed, so it's quite common to feel that everyone is related. That said, (1) conversion has existed since Biblical times (story of Ruth), (2) the Babylonian and Roman exiles sent Jews around the world, and (3) as a result, you can have people who are 100% Jewish who come from very different places and cultures and have completely different appearances.