What Happens when a Mother works outside of the home?

[failsafe]

What Happens When A Mother Works Outside the Home

1) She stays sane. The periods of my life where my mother was not working, she was miserable. She is someone that loves her career, loves her job, and loves to work. She would have been very unhappy to stay home with us always.

2) She can afford additional help when/if she needs it. We had cleaning people once a week, and nannies/babysitters. Contrary to popular belief, I still knew exactly who my mother was.

3) She can support her husband during times when his dreams run to the less lucrative. My mother moved to a new city with my dad, and worked full time while my dad worked at a startup. It had been his dream his whole life, and it would have been impossible to support his young family and pursue that particular dream without my mother's support.

4) She brings more money in, which allows a family to achieve greater financial security. Both of my parents are able to retire now (52 and 58) though neither want to. They own a $1m+ home, and put three children through private education. This would not have been possible had my mom not worked.

5) Just like moms that don't work outside the home, more often than not, they raise happy, healthy and well-adjusted kids.

[lilwriter85]

Amen to #11. My grandfather wasn't widowed, but when my mom would work during the summers, she would drop us off at her parents' house on her way to work, and we LOVED it there. There was a swimming pool, we got to play with the boy who lived next door (even though my grandmother thought he was a trouble maker; there weren't very many other kids in our neighborhood), we got all sorts of special treats. Sometimes we'd spend the entire week there, sleeping over each night. Mom would stop by on her way home from work to have dinner with us, and then kiss us goodnight and head back to our house. Those are some of my favorite childhood memories, and I realize how fortunate we were to get to spend as much time with our grandparents as we did, since my other cousins didn't have that.

I agree on a number 11. I also spent a lot of time with my both my grandmothers when I was 4-7 while my mom was working. They never topped my mom but they both taught me skills and I loved spending time with them. My uncle became widowed a few years back and he enjoys babysitting is his grandson and granddaughter and keeps him happy. My aunt died at age 59 and my uncle took it hard for awhile. Then my cousin and his wife moved back to the same city and they needed a babysitter which uncle started doing after he retired.

[deborahlynn1979]

I must totally be a lesbian since my boss is a woman!

(BTW, this is my first post here...LOVE this site!!)

[DistantStar]

I have a feeling my boss's (I can't figure out whether that last "s" belongs there, forgive me o grammar gods) husband would kind of like it if we're supposed to have that kind of a relationship with her. :D

My office is entirely female. Bow chicka bow...

[Patsy]

My list for my mum:

- She provides an excuse for her husband to do a bit of SAHD-ing, himself :D

- She provides the only income for her family for a number of years

- She has more to do than just CLEAN while her children are at school

- She meets friends and support networks

- She grows and changes in her spiritual journey

- She gives the children she meets an example of studiousness, generosity and other marvellous traits

- She makes her children so, so, SO proud!

So proud of my mummy's work :) she has done SO MUCH to help our community! And my life is SO much better than it would have been if she had decided to leave work when she got married!

And for other mothers I know who have worked outside the home:

- She knows people other than her husband, so escaping from his torture is not impossible

- She saves lives

- She gathers emotion strenght to better support her family

- She is able to afford massive medical and therapeutical fees for seriously ill family members

- She contributes to a society that requires contributions from more than ~50% of the adult population to function, and therefore to provide adequately for all citizens

- She doesn't leech off selling an "image", pontificating to and lecturing struggling people, marking up physical products 300%+ and non-physical products infinitely (because they're WORTHLESS). She doesn't make a lot of her income from simply telling other people to engage in these directly leeching practices, or the eventually-leeching practice of keeping ~50% of the adult population out of the workforce.

[JesusFightClub]

Seriously, this is a never-married, no children man giving advice on marriage and parenting. Something is wrong with this picture.

Mirele, you are so right and it's what I never get. Does no one ever point out the emperor's naked?

(Maybe they do and find they lose their friends and support network very quickly... :x )

[treemom]

I must totally be a lesbian since my boss is a woman!

(BTW, this is my first post here...LOVE this site!!)

I must be a masochist since I pretty much hate my bosses.

[Hane]

@MamaJ: Kudos, as always!

Amen to all points above, plus--

She shows her daughter the example that a woman is better off marring a man for love and companionship than for a meal ticket.

She is able to kick a worthless POS (and I don't mean "point of service") to the curb and support herself and her kids better than he ever could!

[GolightlyGrrl]

For the fuck of shit. This sounds like some crap Kelly Crawford or the NON-Thinking Housewife would spew. Kiss my ass, Gothard. And everyone knows women work so they can show off their cute outfits. Or is that just me?

[emmyfair]

Here's something that should blow Gothard's mind. I work at home. I am my own boss. So, I'm transfering my affections to ... me?

Yee freaking haw.

:auto-dirtbike:

[Black Aliss]

1. She Violates Scripture

New Rule: You can't pick and choose which parts of the Bible you are going to follow. Bill, obay Mark 10:21 and then we will talk.

2. She Neglects Her Children

A little neglect is good for children. My kids have thanked me many times over for not being one of those SAH moms helping out in the classroom every day. I was always willing to take time off to help chaperone a field trip but honestly, my kids didn't want me around them all the time.

3. She is Unfulfilled

>The only way that a woman can find identity and meaning in her life is to discover and fulfill the purposes for which God made her.

If God hadn't wanted me to be an engineer he wouldn't have given me a brain for math and physics. Instead he would have instilled within me the desire to tie little lace ribbons around the necks of all my clotheshangers.

>She will never find fulfillment by trying to copy a man's role

Far be it for me to copy what my husband does. Likewise, he wouldn't dream of trying to do my job.

4. She Damages Her Marriage

>Love is strengthened when there is a realization of how much each partner needs each other.

Hmmm. My husband needs me more now than he ever did when I was a SAHM. That's because he has not been able to work for the last 8 years.

5.She May Transfer Her Affections

When a wife works for another man, she actually displays toward him some of the attitudes of an ideal wife.

My boss is female. My subordinates are male. I'm quite sure they aren't transferring their affections to me any more than I'm transferring my affections to my [admittedly very attractive, but I don't swing that way] boss.

6. She finds Herself in Two Competing Worlds

>If a wife does find a jon which she enjoys outside of the home, she will suddenly find that she is in two world- one at home and one at >work. Each one will make demands and give rewards. Since no one can serve two masters, she must ultimately decide which world will >become her primary source for acceptance, approval, achievement, and fulfillment.

Guess I'm lucky to be master of both my worlds.

7. She suffers Distructive [sic] Pressures

>When a mother assumes employment outside of the home, she subjects herself to an additional set of pressures and tentions.[sic] These >produce physical and emotional stresses. Prologed exposure to these stresses is causing many women to suffer physically, >psychologically, and spiritually, and to transfer these pressures to their families.

I've lived in poverty and I've been homeless. Bill, when you've walked a mile in my shoes, come back and tell me what's stressful.

8. She Neglects Vital Home Functions

>If a mother gives her time, energy, and talent to a job outside of the home, it obviously means that she is less able to fulfill the >God-given functions in her home simply for lack of time. The priceless opportunities within a mother's home cannot be reclaimed once >her children have grown up.

Isn't that what chorepacks are for? To have your kids do the cleaning and laundry?

9. She Sets a Bad Example for Others

And by remaining selfishly unmarried, what kind of an example do you set for other men, Mr. Gothard?

10. She is Financially Unwise

>They give The Myth of a Mother's Paycheck and it really is by adding it up what it costs for a wife to work you have a net loss not a net >gain.

So, I wonder where that money in my 401K and the Roth IRA and the kids' college funds came from if I'm operating at a loss? Because it sure didn't spill over from His Headship's paycheck!

[Mompom]

Well, my mom definitely neglects vital home functions--she refuses to cook anymore, even though she's excellent at it--but I'm pretty sure she hasn't transferred her affections to her 70-something female boss. I think I'll tell her that my sister and I, both grown and married, feel neglected. She'll like that.

OT Is your avatar, Jessica from the Sweet Valley High series??? OR did I just out myself as a total 80s/90s nerd and nobody knows what I'm talking about...

[masagoroll]

Old Gothard has such an unrealistic view of women.

He thinks that bosses (who tell you what to do, criticize you, pressure you for work, etc.) make women long to please them and feel grateful, when most women I know actually feel quite annoyed by their bosses.

Similarly, he thinks that being stuck with a "Command Man" makes a woman all turned on and eager to please...when it actually makes most women feel like "OMG, fuck off!"