"She only does it to annoy, because she knows it teases"

[Witsec1]

From vitafamiliae.com/?p=3985

The Vita Familiae (some sort of kin to Mortons, with adopted child from Africa (Kenya?) are going on a road trip:

We are taking a family road trip this week. It should be very exciting, what with the van we don’t totally trust yet, a baby who throws up if she has to sit in the carseat longer than she deems necessary (out of anger at being in a carseat, not carsickness), and you know, just the usual Vitafam off-the-wallery you’d expect.

The stuff she projects onto her adopted baby never ceases to amaze me. How exactly, is she able to determine that she is throwing up out of "anger"?

It always amazes me how fundies are able to unself-consciously attribute any unwanted inconvenience a child causes them, to the child's evil sin nature.

Some people probably think I'm reading too much into this, but it's part of a pattern with her.

[MamaJunebug]

Possibly the author throws up or threw up out of a desire for control, and projects her behavior to the child.

There's also the possibility that the child works herself up to the point where she does lose her lunch. How old is she? Were the child in my care, I'd be trying to figure out if something else is going on in the carseat. Is she uncomfortable? Soggy diaper? Soemthing sticking her?

Or does she need more holding than she's getting, when they aren't on the road? Is she a particularly pretty child? Soemtimes it's easier to excuse outre' behavior when the perp is a cutie, and easier to get impatient when it's a homely li'l thing.

I'm not saying it's right, just fact.

[treemom]

Or could the child have motion sickness? How would they no?

[PBrooke]

I think she's an adorable child (from Uganda, btw). Her adoptive mother seems to say the same.

I would wonder if the car seat was too small or if there's a reason she's got a fear of being restrained. Or maybe she's angry because every time she gets strapped in she gets carsick...

[tehfanglyfish]

My iguana does "poop paint" her cage when she's angry with me, but I seriously doubt that anyone young enough to be riding in a car seat is engaging in vindictive vomiting. This is just stupid. Also, maybe someone should take a course or read a book on parenting.

[LilMissMetaphor]

Everything they do is such a huge deal for LoraLyn. Yeah, they have a handful of young kids. A lot of people do though. I guess she sometimes exaggerates for the blog but she goes out of her way to describe how every day has some new insanity for them, and she and Andrew tumble into bed every night and thank God that they have somehow gotten through it. She talks about dying to self yet she is so inward-looking. Seems like she never thinks that some people can't even feed their six kids, while she is making a trip with hers to the pool sound like a day in the killing fields.

[Turtle]

Everything they do is such a huge deal for LoraLyn. Yeah, they have a handful of young kids. A lot of people do though. I guess she sometimes exaggerates for the blog but she goes out of her way to describe how every day has some new insanity for them, and she and Andrew tumble into bed every night and thank God that they have somehow gotten through it. She talks about dying to self yet she is so inward-looking. Seems like she never thinks that some people can't even feed their six kids, while she is making a trip with hers to the pool sound like a day in the killing fields.

I avoid mommy blogs like that. If having so many kids is that hard and exhausting, stop having more or maybe get a part-time job and send them to preschool or something. She probably thinks she is being funny/clever and exaggerates for her blog though.

And if anything made my son so upset that he threw up on himself, I would try to figure out why it upset him so much and not put him in that situation if possible until the issue is figured out. I don't read her blog (so maybe this is a necessary trip?), but I can't imagine why anyone would choose to go on a road trip if they have a little one that gets sick like that in a carseat. That just seems mean.

[fundiefan]

People get sick when stressed. It is not intentional or controllable. Children are no exception.

She wants to be special and her way of doing it is to make everything adventurous, funny and ironic. What she's doing is putting a mask on her show. "Look at me, I have all these kids and I deal with it perfectly and ain't I special".

I don't doubt she is a healthier adoptive mom than, say, Emma, but she is still way too deep into her religion to be the mom that little girl needs and deserves. I filter everything she says about that little girl through her first posts about her, and how she spent the first nights pushing the kid away and 'training' her rather than give love, comfort and security to a terrified, confused little girl.

She is a product of her family and they do things the same way. The cloak their views in the pretty to make them more appealing to their viewers.

[browngrl]

I think she does say these sorts of things to be funny or clever. It would be interesting to she what she is like IRL (although I for one am not volunteering to go and meet her - the internet is as close as I want to be).

[Koala]

Everything they do is such a huge deal for LoraLyn. Yeah, they have a handful of young kids. A lot of people do though. I guess she sometimes exaggerates for the blog but she goes out of her way to describe how every day has some new insanity for them, and she and Andrew tumble into bed every night and thank God that they have somehow gotten through it. She talks about dying to self yet she is so inward-looking. Seems like she never thinks that some people can't even feed their six kids, while she is making a trip with hers to the pool sound like a day in the killing fields.

I totally agree. I hate the way she treats her kids (especially Mira), and I hate the way she acts like the simplest tasks take an act of congress.

Get real lady. You are purposely having/adopting these kids, they aren't being dropped on your freaking door step.

You know when she should have known it was time to shut the baby factory down?

When going to the pool (which her kids seem to love) became a yearly "trial" for her to survive.

Or when she had to start charging her kids to help them find their shoes, glasses, ect.

Or when she had to start taking daily naps and hiding in her room to eat choc. while her young children did god knows what downstairs.

Seriously, if these kids are making her so nuts that she thinks a 1 year old is vomiting just to piss her off, then it's time to take a long hard long in the medicine cabinet and see if there isn't some birth control or something in there. How the hell does she know Mira doesn't have motion sickness???

[valsa]

As someone who has had motion sickness all her life, all I've got to say is this- fuck you, lady.

I see that she says Mira throws up when she's in the car for a while. I don't know about other people who get motion sick but mine starts out mild, then gets worse and worse the longer I'm in the car. Eventually it gets to the point that I would throw up if I don't roll down a window, stick my head practically all the way out of it, then "play dead" by not talking or having my eyes open or even thinking about anything. Since I doubt Mira has that option, she just may have motion sickness.

[JesusFightClub]

Poor kid. I guarantee 100 percent that even if she hates the car seat she isn't wilfully puking to wind mum up. These people really believe that children are nothing but wee balls of evil, don't they.

[MamaJunebug]

Poor kid. I guarantee 100 percent that even if she hates the car seat she isn't wilfully puking to wind mum up. These people really believe that children are nothing but wee balls of evil, don't they.

They certainly take the concept of 'original sin' and run way too far with it.

I visited the blog and remembered having seen it before -- the photo of her running to greet her children with Mira in the front-pack irritated me then and irritated me even more, now. That blog is all about her not-that-photogenic self, not the children.

So she literally pushed Mira away as part of 'training'? I didn't read that far. I did glimpse where she was complainign that "Mira is like a newborn and my husband and I don't like that", or words to that effect.

No kidding, Florence Nightengale? The baby was probably conceived in rape, has been through major medical procedures and spent a good deal of her first months in some kind of institution, got dragged across the ocean and then wobbled around in a front pack as you performed for your ever-present camera crew. And she's a bit delayed, behavior-wise?

*spit* Mira! Honey, do not be in any hurry to start walking - she's going to have you doing laundry and mopping floors and complaining that you're still like a two-year-old. :evil: Who let her adopt??? Who?

[ladypuglover]

From vitafamiliae.com/?p=3985

The Vita Familiae (some sort of kin to Mortons, with adopted child from Africa (Kenya?) are going on a road trip:

The stuff she projects onto her adopted baby never ceases to amaze me. How exactly, is she able to determine that she is throwing up out of "anger"?

It always amazes me how fundies are able to unself-consciously attribute any unwanted inconvenience a child causes them, to the child's evil sin nature.

Some people probably think I'm reading too much into this, but it's part of a pattern with her.

My nephew (who is now 22 and would kill me for telling anyone this) used to get so upset that he would hurl like Linda Blair. Every single temper tantrum or even a mild fit would end up with him throwing up everywhere. Granted he was preemie (31 weeks) but for years that kid had total control over the adults in his life. Maybe this little girl is like that? That she gets so upset that she vomits?

[booksnbeats]

As someone who has had motion sickness all her life, all I've got to say is this- fuck you, lady.

I see that she says Mira throws up when she's in the car for a while. I don't know about other people who get motion sick but mine starts out mild, then gets worse and worse the longer I'm in the car. Eventually it gets to the point that I would throw up if I don't roll down a window, stick my head practically all the way out of it, then "play dead" by not talking or having my eyes open or even thinking about anything. Since I doubt Mira has that option, she just may have motion sickness.

I also have motion sickness, although it has gotten worse as I get older. I used to be able to read in cars when I was a kid. Anyway, I remember we once took this road trip at night when I was 3 or so (car seat). I complained to my parents that we were driving too fast, and begged them to slow down. They ended up hanging blankets in front of the windows so I would calm down. Who knew why that set me off as a kid, little kids are weird. But I expect the Christian lesson in that kind of situation would be that the baby or toddler is manipulative; you need to hit the baby.

[MamaJunebug]

I also have motion sickness, although it has gotten worse as I get older. I used to be able to read in cars when I was a kid. Anyway, I remember we once took this road trip at night when I was 3 or so (car seat). I complained to my parents that we were driving too fast, and begged them to slow down. They ended up hanging blankets in front of the windows so I would calm down. Who knew why that set me off as a kid, little kids are weird. But I expect the Christian lesson in that kind of situation would be that the baby or toddler is manipulative; you need to hit the baby.

Please, friend, it's not "the Christian lesson." It's the lesson of some very self-centered, unthinking people who somehow are Christians.

I don't mean to scold ... I just hate seeing the entire religion tarred with the brush that's really needed for a small, nasty minority that includes the Pearls, Vita Familiaes and others of their preening ilk.

:think: Hm... brush... tar.... feathers would add a certain je ne sais quoi, now I think about it..... ;)

[JesusFightClub]

I saw the "Mira is like a newborn, SOOOO much WORK" post and I spat too, MamaJunebug :(

I can't remember the name of the horrible fundie who gave up the Haitian children Justus and Lovelie. But there were similarities there. The child(ren) were seen as doing things out of sheer wickedness. They were not granted any leeway for coming out of startlingly horrible situations but were expected to behave like children who are completely acclimatised and trauma free from the start.

How can anyone be so naive and selfish and still get the OK to adopt? When I think of the stories of FJ adoptive mums I've read there is such a huge difference between them and the fundies who seem to imagine that the word "adoption" translates as "You will be gifted with the black Elsie Dinsmore".

[fundiefan]

They certainly take the concept of 'original sin' and run way too far with it.

I visited the blog and remembered having seen it before -- the photo of her running to greet her children with Mira in the front-pack irritated me then and irritated me even more, now. That blog is all about her not-that-photogenic self, not the children.

So she literally pushed Mira away as part of 'training'? I didn't read that far. I did glimpse where she was complainign that "Mira is like a newborn and my husband and I don't like that", or words to that effect.

No kidding, Florence Nightengale? The baby was probably conceived in rape, has been through major medical procedures and spent a good deal of her first months in some kind of institution, got dragged across the ocean and then wobbled around in a front pack as you performed for your ever-present camera crew. And she's a bit delayed, behavior-wise?

*spit* Mira! Honey, do not be in any hurry to start walking - she's going to have you doing laundry and mopping floors and complaining that you're still like a two-year-old. :evil: Who let her adopt??? Who?

Yeah. Go back to their time in Africa picking Mira up. They were in the hotel and had Mira in a co-sleeper next to the bed. Mira kept crying and trying to curl up next to Vitamom. Vitamom kept pushing her away to 'train' her, saying something about trying to remember her days of infant training and the 'line' between spoiling and being manipulated and giving security. Never considering the security a child in a foreign environment may need. In the end she believed she found the right balance by allowing Mira's leg to touch hers. That one leg was 'allowed' outside the co-sleeper and onto the bed to touch her.

It made me sick. The kind of sick that comes from emotions. The kind that honestly turned my stomach and was not a choice. Although if it were possible to make myself sick without sticking my finger down my throat I would have done so right on top of her in that bed.

**Edited because I always have to edit because I am really bad at writing thoughts.

[MamaJunebug]

something about trying to remember her days of infant training and the 'line' between spoiling and being manipulated and giving security.

something about trying to remember her days of infant training and the 'line' between spoiling and being manipulated and giving security. ??????

Dear! God! In! Heaven!

Where is her maternal instinct?

I'm going to type this and then I'm going to go have a glass of wine, I can't take it, honestly: You've just adopted a new baby into your family, it's your first night with her -- excuse me, HER first night with you -- and your concern is that you not be manipulated?

Dear Lady God in Heaven, please do not let me stroke out over this!

Oh, my God! Literally! I'd've had that baby on my lap, myself in a rocking chair, or spooned with her, forget the co-sleep box!

I gotta go. Love you guys, but I can FEEL the bp rising.

Merlot, don't fail me now.

[Love]

Yeah. Go back to their time in Africa picking Mira up. They were in the hotel and had Mira in a co-sleeper next to the bed. Mira kept crying and trying to curl up next to Vitamom. Vitamom kept pushing her away to 'train' her, saying something about trying to remember her days of infant training and the 'line' between spoiling and being manipulated and giving security. Never considering the security a child in a foreign environment may need. In the end she believed she found the right balance by allowing Mira's leg to touch hers. That one leg was 'allowed' outside the co-sleeper and onto the bed to touch her.

It made me sick. The kind of sick that comes from emotions. The kind that honestly turned my stomach and was not a choice. Although if it were possible to make myself sick without sticking my finger down my throat I would have done so right on top of her in that bed.

Adopt a child from a foreign country, pick that child up and take her to a hotel, plop her in a co-sleeper, and 'train' her to

OH MY GOSH. Her leg was all she could touch? Are these fundies hearts made of stone? jeeeeez. HOLD THE CHILD. SHE NEEDS YOU.

And no, she isn't puking to manipulate. She's waaaaay to young for that.

I just don't get why people like this, who clearly seem to dislike children, have so many children.

[tehfanglyfish]

something about trying to remember her days of infant training and the 'line' between spoiling and being manipulated and giving security. ??????

Dear! God! In! Heaven!

Where is her maternal instinct?

I'm going to type this and then I'm going to go have a glass of wine, I can't take it, honestly: You've just adopted a new baby into your family, it's your first night with her -- excuse me, HER first night with you -- and your concern is that you not be manipulated?

Dear Lady God in Heaven, please do not let me stroke out over this!

Oh, my God! Literally! I'd've had that baby on my lap, myself in a rocking chair, or spooned with her, forget the co-sleep box!

I gotta go. Love you guys, but I can FEEL the bp rising.

Merlot, don't fail me now.

If my pancreas would let me drink, I would agree with everything you've said here. So yeah. This (only with no merlot, damn it.) This is yet another woman who is beyond words.

[thoughtful]

From vitafamiliae.com/?p=3985

The Vita Familiae (some sort of kin to Mortons, with adopted child from Africa (Kenya?) are going on a road trip:

The stuff she projects onto her adopted baby never ceases to amaze me. How exactly, is she able to determine that she is throwing up out of "anger"?

It always amazes me how fundies are able to unself-consciously attribute any unwanted inconvenience a child causes them, to the child's evil sin nature.

Some people probably think I'm reading too much into this, but it's part of a pattern with her.

I'm with you -- this is the kind of thing that just makes me livid.

Maybe it's because I have worked with thousands of kids. Knowing that they are innocent, usually trying their best, and that they have needs has ruled all of my successful teaching.

The "it's the kid versus me" crap is just bad teaching - the moral and emotional equivalent of insisting that 2+2=5.

Heck, even in dog training we know better than to do the "he's just trying to get to me" crap. Certainly if an animal gets sick or frightened, we look for a cause and don't label it "bad." Even growling and snapping is treated by looking for a cause now, and inuring the animal to whatever it disliked until it doesn't want to react badly.

I know someone here has commented that analogies between animal training and teaching children bother them. I hope my point is clear when I do it, so it is not offensive:

- most of us, human or animal, react to things that bother or upset us, rather than some impulse to upset others on purpose, or evil/dominance.

- assuming some evil/dominance crap is lazy, and an attempt to let the parent/owner off of the hook, or justify vicious behavior toward a child or animal.

- even in complex humans, behavioral science generally holds true. There is no implication there that humans are mindless behavior machines -- it can be done at a very sophisticated level, without sly manipulation. And it can lead to very kind, effective parenting, if mostly positive reinforcement is used -- one really does catch more flies with honey. :D

- if even people who work with animals are now saying "give them the benefit of the doubt, don't assume they are trying to take over, be kind," etc., we should certainly feel that way about children, who are more important.

Sometimes people post, in reaction to one of these child-haters, something along the lines of "you're not training a dog, you're raising a child."

And that bothers me -- I guess what's above is my long-winded way of saying "sheesh, people with a clue don't even treat dogs that way any more! How much less should we be doing it with kids?"

Hope that makes sense!

[Koala]

something about trying to remember her days of infant training and the 'line' between spoiling and being manipulated and giving security. ??????

Dear! God! In! Heaven!

Where is her maternal instinct?

I'm going to type this and then I'm going to go have a glass of wine, I can't take it, honestly: You've just adopted a new baby into your family, it's your first night with her -- excuse me, HER first night with you -- and your concern is that you not be manipulated?

Dear Lady God in Heaven, please do not let me stroke out over this!

Oh, my God! Literally! I'd've had that baby on my lap, myself in a rocking chair, or spooned with her, forget the co-sleep box!

I gotta go. Love you guys, but I can FEEL the bp rising.

Merlot, don't fail me now.

Totally agree. Most moms wouldn't have wanted to let them go....

[SquirrelySquirrel]

I'm another with horrid motion sickness, and my daughter had issues too when she was a baby. I wanted to keep her rear-facing til she was at least 2, but I had to turn her the moment she hit 20lbs (she was already 1) to put her out of her misery. She didn't always throw up, but she was absolutely miserable during car trips longer than 30 mins, especially if they involved the rural country roads around here. In no way, shape, or form would I have thought she was trying to manipulate me and I'd call someone insane for insinuating it. She still had issues with longer trips for awhile, but now it seems to have ceased. I was the same way. I threw up all the time in the car when I was young, it calmed down for a long time, but from early adulthood until now it has progressively gotten worse. I can't even ride in a back seat now without a Dramamine or wishing I were dead, and if I'm a passenger I must have my eyes straight ahead on the road at all times. A one minute look at a map makes me queasy.

This little girl has my empathy. Even if it isn't actual motion sickness, something is stressing her out to the max and no sane adult would blame the child.

[valsa]

I also have motion sickness, although it has gotten worse as I get older. I used to be able to read in cars when I was a kid. Anyway, I remember we once took this road trip at night when I was 3 or so (car seat). I complained to my parents that we were driving too fast, and begged them to slow down. They ended up hanging blankets in front of the windows so I would calm down. Who knew why that set me off as a kid, little kids are weird. But I expect the Christian lesson in that kind of situation would be that the baby or toddler is manipulative; you need to hit the baby.

I don't know if it's true but I once read that people get motion sickness because one part of their brain/inner ear knows they're moving but another part of their brain/inner ear thinks they're sitting still. The incongruence between the two is what makes us feel sick. That might explain why the scenery passing by quickly got you started and covering the windows helped you calm down (my motion sickness gets worse when I watch out the window)

On another note, I am sooooo jealous that you could read in the car as a kid. I’ve never been able to do that. I always had long school bus rides as a kid and I used to hate that I couldn’t spend that time doing homework.