Political Memes, Comics, and other Shenanigans, Part 20

[GreyhoundFan]

 

"Dumbkirk"

Quote

To show their support for their Dear Leader and orange messiah, Trump cultists with boats have been staging “boat parades.” And these Trumplicans don’t have both oars in the water.

The Facebook page for the Travis County, Texas Fucknut Flotilla stated, “Decorate your boats in patriotic colors and fly as many Trump flags as she can handle! Let’s really make a statement!” Good job on the statement. 

I have several questions: Are life jackets as political as face masks? Can racists swim? Does denial stop your boat from sinking any better than it stops a pandemic? Can a MyPillow work as a flotation device?

Five of these boats in the asshole armada sank. Fortunately, no one died or was seriously injured. The real good news for the Trump fuckers is it’s not the cause of climate change. Nope. It’s from stupidity. Boats leave a wake. They create turbulence. They make tides. You get a bunch of these boats together and what you get are sinking boats. The waves knock them around, fill them with water, and the next thing you know, you need flippers and snorkels.

The local sheriffs department received 15 calls about sinking shitweasels’ ships. A local towing company said they received three more calls. Ultimately, five of these fuckers’ hater boats sank. Three were recovered. Two are still on the floor of the lake scaring fish.

They can’t blame China, Hillary, or Obama. Maybe God hates boats…or better yet, maybe God hates Trump boats. What I’m hoping for mostly is that this is a metaphor for what’s to come.

Will there be another blue wave? Will Trump sink in November? Are Trump supporters all wet? Do any of Trump’s arguments hold water? 

These “Trumptillas” were started in Florida last May. The first one had around 1,500 boats. And the guy who hosted and organized this event, was arrested and charged for issuing a written threat to another man over wearing face masks. 

Of course, another problem for Trump and his cultists is they all have tiny dinghies.

 

[GreyhoundFan]

 

"Facemask Losers"

Quote

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi violated California state law when she went to a hair salon and at least for a minute, didn’t wear a face mask.

A video was released of her walking from one room to the other without the mask. Pelosi claims it was a setup as she called the salon, where she’s been a customer for years, and an employee told her to come in.

Pelosi is responsible for this. She should have known the state law and she should have worn a face mask for the entire visit. But that said, yeah, it was a setup. How do I know it was a setup? Because we’ve seen the video.

In fact, White House spokesgoon Kayleigh McEnany began a press briefing about the video and ran it on a loop for several minutes. The thing about this is, it shouldn’t be the White House promoting and advancing this video. It’s bad politics. What they should do is just let their conservative allies do it. Yeah, it’s still hypocritical and stupid, but at least they could have the semblance of keeping their hands clean and government employees like Kayleigh McEnany wouldn’t have to conduct herself like a goon.

But which is it? Are we supposed to be upset at someone for not wearing a mask for a minute or are we supposed to mock people who wear masks?

Look at the Republican convention. There were two nights where the Trump team created crowds, one at Fort McHenry in Baltimore and the other on the South Lawn. Not only did these two acts violate the Hatch Act and abuse public property for partisan political events, they didn’t practice social distancing. Face masks were not required. You have to remember the last time Trump put together a huge party for a political event, it killed Herman Cain, who, by the way, they failed to mention once during their four-nights of lies and bullshit.

Last week, Donald Trump mocked Joe Biden for wearing a mask. Trump said, “Did you ever see a man who likes a mask as much as him?. It gives him a feeling of security.”

Then, the guy who should be in a padded room while wearing a jacket that ties in the back said, “If I were a psychiatrist — right? I’d say, this guy’s got some big issues. Hanging down.” Hanging down? What the hell is that? Anyway…

So far in this pandemic, due to a virus Donald Trump has ignored at times and downplayed at others, has killed nearly 185,000 Americans. So, why the hell is he mocking someone for wearing a face mask which is recommended by the Center for Disease Control and the White House Coronavirus Task Force?

What’s next? Making fun of people who have died from it? Calling them weak or better yet for Trump, losers?

Donald Trump is the president (sic) of the United States. Every time someone says “President Trump,” my skin crawls because it’s the most disgusting thing there is…but he is the president (sic). Yet, he can’t be presidential. He can’t exhibit leadership. Joe Biden can. Joe Biden is being presidential.

Joe Biden is demonstrating by example, showing leadership, and taking the virus seriously. Donald Trump finds that something to mock.

Donald Trump refuses to be president for the entire nation. He refuses to be a leader in the same way he refuses to be an adult, mature, responsible, accountable, or credible.

Wearing face masks saves lives. Experts predict fewer deaths and a quicker end to this pandemic if we all wore face masks. Donald Trump is politicizing it and making fun of people for wearing face masks.

Wearing a face mask is the patriotic thing to do. But then again, we all know how Donald Trump feels about patriotism.

 

[Black Aliss]

THE WRECK OF THE ‘SS FULL MAGA’

Lyrics by Mark Childress, music by Gordon Lightfoot.

The legend lives on from Bowling Green on down
Of the big lake they called Sinky Trumpy
Lake Travis, it’s said, never gives up her dead
When the lakes of September turn bumpy

With a load of full bores, twenty six thousand tons more
Than the ‘SS Full MAGA’ weighed empty
That good ship and true painted red white and blue
When the waves of November came early

The ship was the pride of the north Dallas burbs
Sailing back from a rally in Irving
As motorboats go, it was bigger than most
With a captain and crew - more than twenty

Their MAGA hats on, but of masks, they had none
When they left fully loaded for Austin
And later that night when the ship’s bell rang
Could it be the blue wave they’d been lost in?

With covfefe strong, all the boats sailed along
Flying Trump flags from every railing
The waves rose up high but they zoomed right on by
All the libtards alongshore, a-wailing

And every man knew, as the captain did too,
Twas the witch of November come stealing!
Kamala’s her name and they see her dark flame
Lighting up the skies o’er Sinky Trumpy

The boats were too close - two or three feet at most
And the big waves began now a buildin-
The little boats sank, people fell in and drank
The dark waters of gloomy Lake Travis

When suppertime came the old man came on deck sayin
Magas, it’s too rough to feed ya
But at 7 pm when the hatchway caved in, he said
Magas, it’s been good to know ya!

The captain, he cried out to call 9-1-1
But his iphone could not get a signal
He sent off a text and he tried WhatsApp next
But the good ship and crew were in peril

And later that night when his lights went outta sight
Came the wreck of the SS Full MAGA
Does anyone know where a Trumper can go
To find someone to hear his sad saga?

The searchers all say they’d have made it that day
If they hadn’t drunk so much Sam Adams
Of twenty white men, none that knew how to swim
We searched for ‘em deep in the fathoms

They might have split up or they might have got swamped
It might have been sharks that have got ‘em
Now all that remains is the faces and the names
And the Trump flags stretched out on the bottom

The legend lives on from Bowling Green on down
Of the big lake they called Sinky Trumpy
Lake Travis, they said, never gives up her dead
When the waves of November come early!

Edited September 8, 2020 by Black Aliss
spacing

[WiseGirl]

[Ozlsn]

[WiseGirl]

 

[GreyhoundFan]

 

"Gender Wildfire Party"

Quote

This is the first I’ve heard of gender reveal parties, unless I heard of them a while back and forgot which is entirely possible. Are you like me in that upon hearing about it, you wonder if it’s actually how it sounds?

At first, I was wondering if maybe it was a party where you invite friends and family who don’t know it’s a gender reveal party. And then, after everyone’s arrived and a had a few drinks, you reveal you have a new gender and everyone goes home feeling awkward. I’d like to go to that party.

But no. It’s something that started off pretty innocent over a decade ago. And of course, it didn’t start off as exciting and potentially dangerous as I imagined. Hell, they’re not even supposed to be political. It’s just a party where an expecting couple reveal the gender of their baby. 

And it did start off innocently. Usually it was done with a cake and when it’s cut into, the color inside the cake, pink or blue, reveals the sex of your upcoming baby. Of course, the people throwing the party already know the sex when they order the cake. The cake isn’t psychic. 

Now, these gender reveal parties have become dangerous, and not because they “upend gender norms” which uber liberals are afraid of. No, they’ve become dangerous because people have started adding explosives to the mix and they’re responsible for a wildfire that’s raged across over 7,000 acres. And, it’s not even the biggest one these parties have started.

By the way, there are currently over 80 wildfires burning in the western United States.

In 2017, one of these parties created a wildfire that destroyed over 47,000 acres in Arizona. How? The party goers shot at targets with “boy” and “girl” written on them. I don’t get it either. Maybe you have to have a gun fetish to understand that one. 

The Arizona party had a target packed with explosives. When hit, it was supposed to emit a cloud of blue smoke (in case you’re a Republican, blue is for boy). Instead, it started a raging wildfire and the party throwers had to pay $8 million in restitution. Have fun explaining to Junior why he doesn’t have a college fund.

But it gets even worse. 

A party in Florida (of course it was in Florida) involved guns and explosives and a ten-acre wildfire. Another party took down an airplane in Texas which proceeded to crash into a pro-Trump boat parade (OK. I made up the boat parade, but I would have gone to that party).  Another party destroyed a car in Australia. 

But wait. It gets even worse.

A party in Iowa last October killed a grandma. Where’s the psychic cake for that one? Also, do you get the irony in a party about creating a life killing somebody? How did this gender reveal party kill a grandma? To reveal the gender, the party goers created a pipe bomb which is how you would expect al Qaida would throw a gender reveal party, or a Trump supporter, not Iowans. Wait. Iowa went for Trump in 2016. It does make sense.

These parties have gotten so bad, the creator of them has said, “Stop having these stupid parties. For the love of God, stop burning things down to tell everyone about your kid’s penis. No one cares but you.” Which is true. For most of your life no one will care about your penis except you.

Jenna Karvunidis is a blogger who is credited for creating the gender reveal party and she doesn’t care about your penis. And she’s right, not about the penis thing but yeah, probably. B it’s time to do away with parties that create wildfires, destroy the environment, destroys homes, cars, planes, trains, and automobiles and other 1980s John Hughes movies. No more parties that cost us millions of dollars. No shindigs that murder grandmas.

And if you think the focus on gender can mess that kid up for life, wait until he finds out he started a fire from the womb…and killed grandma.

I know it's not political, just thought I'd share.

[WiseGirl]

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

[ADoyle90815]

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

[Black Aliss]

I hope more than a handful of people get this one. 

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]