THIS is why I didn't believe her.... - Kendal

[SunnyAndrsn]

The difference, as is often with fundies, is your humility regarding the situation. Good parents have the ability to learn from their mistakes and they don't believe the have 'the key' to parenting correctly. Good parents know they are going to screw up, try not to, and roll with the punches. Who hasn't gotten their ass handed to them in a backlash of dumb parenting? I know I have. Thankfully, the boys still love me :-) I'm sure your kids love you too.

Back when I was a very young, overwhelmed, frustrated mother, I once spanked my oldest son with a wooden spoon. It wasn't hard as I never got the ability to spank hard but more like a swat that startled rather than hurt. Anyway I swated him just once with the spoon and he grabbed the spoon from me and swatted me with it! :o He was laughing the whole time that I swatted him and he me. I of course felt like 3 inches tall and begged his forgiveness and promised never to strike him like that again. I was shocked that I struck him and shocked that he struck me! I soon learned other methods from my doctor in dealing with my children and myself when one of them was out of control. My oldest was only about 2-3 at the time and I still haven't forgiven my self for swatting him with a spoon even though he says knowing himself that he probally was just asking for it. When I did forget myself and swatted it never was more than once on the diapered butt or hand and never heard enough to make my child cry out. I found time outs for them and me, and being sent to the bedroom for a few minutes worked far better than having my toddler son swat me.

Please don't flame me everyone, I was a dumb mother back in those days who has since learned my lesson.

[latraviata]

The difference, as is often with fundies, is your humility regarding the situation. Good parents have the ability to learn from their mistakes and they don't believe the have 'the key' to parenting correctly. Good parents know they are going to screw up, try not to, and roll with the punches. Who hasn't gotten their ass handed to them in a backlash of dumb parenting? I know I have. Thankfully, the boys still love me :-) I'm sure your kids love you too.

Sunny, you are right, a good parent learns from his/her mistakes my son with the nose bleed was 8 years at the time and a very nice child, I told him he was wrong to smack his younger brother but I shouldn't have done the same thing to him.

Indeed, he is a very good, loving and caring son, before my younger son passed away last year he described our relationship as perfect and I am glad he was so open about it.

I said it before, it is very important when parents admit their mistake(s) to children, it creates an atmosphere of honesty and intimacy.

I was by no means an anti authoritarian mother, that concept was very much en voque in those years, as a professional and a mother I firmly believe that children need structure.

[Mompom]

She's such a perfectionist. You can tell she hasn't raised kids for very long. She still thinks that parents can completely control the outcome. Unwrap your kids like a package to see who they are going to be. Don't try to cram them into a box and tell them who they are going to be. It doesn't work that way. All kids are individuals, and some of the spirited, spunky ones are really hard to parent at times, but in our family *that* one is the one who sticks up for his brother with special needs and tells it like it is. It's a gift to be willful and defiant at certain times. It's the same quality that will stand up for injustice when you are an adult.

[ladypuglover]

One of the reasons I love this place. I am constantly learning things about being a parent, and taking the bits and pieces I like the best (especially in the way of discipline) and hoarding it in my brain,m in case someday I DO have children... its like you guys are "training" me to be a mom! LOL! And the upside is that I can try them out when I babysit my brother (he's five). I love you guys!

I'm refuse to think of myself as an old lady. :lol:

[treemom]

Heck, a normal week doesn't require discipline at this point. I mean the boy has been around for 11 years...hopefully at some point I learned to pick my battles and he learned to consider other people in order to live peacefully.

And I am hardly an exemplary parent.

[Koala]

Heck, a normal week doesn't require discipline at this point. I mean the boy has been around for 11 years...hopefully at some point I learned to pick my battles and he learned to consider other people in order to live peacefully.

And I am hardly an exemplary parent.

I love that you talk about picking your battles. So true. I think it's really important to recognize that our children are people totally independent of us, and we have to be very careful not to push them into the "mold" of what we envision they should be.

[mirele]

Isn't Kendal the woman who disciplined her kids for a solid day? And also made one of her daughters thank her father for all the discipline?

Both of those put Kendal into the Uh No I Wouldn't Go To Her For Parenting Advice category.

[treemom]

I love that you talk about picking your battles. So true. I think it's really important to recognize that our children are people totally independent of us, and we have to be very careful not to push them into the "mold" of what we envision they should be.

Gah! Well it is too much damn work if I try to make him to everything the way I want it. Who cares how his hair looks for example? (although it does drive me nutty when he does the headshake)

Maybe that is why Kendal seems to be always disciplining...she doesn't pick her battles.

[Koala]

Gah! Well it is too much damn work if I try to make him to everything the way I want it. Who cares how his hair looks for example? (although it does drive me nutty when he does the headshake)

Maybe that is why Kendal seems to be always disciplining...she doesn't pick her battles.

That's probably why she views motherhood as a battle mission field. She has to break their wills so they end up being sahds like she wants them to be they want to be.

Also, am I the only one totally creeped out by the whole "heart training" bit?????????

[PharmDMommy]

Didn't she just waste 10 minutes posting that when she could have been beating her kid. This is one reason home-schooling makes me nervous. Who can those poor girls tell, someone at church? Oh wait the church teaches this so I doubt they would find sympathy there. Kendal reminds me of someone who uses home school for this reason. She doesn't sound like she enjoys it.

[latraviata]

When she talks about her children it is always about, discipline, training, submitting to authority.

I think she is a very anxious woman and somehow tries to gain some selfrespect and prestige to have the absolute upperhand over her children. As long as they behave like she thinks they should, it will be another prove that she is doing it right.

The sad thing is, by training, disciplining and submit them to her authority, she robs them of their autonomy and originality. There is not much fun for her children in her style of child rearing or teaching and I think, at the end of the day they will be utterly miserable. When she talks about her children I don't sense any warmth or empathy, it seems she considers her children as her natural enemies, born to emotionally exhaust and pester their mother.

Training before teaching? Why, since the bible has been written about 3000 years ago, we learn a thing or two about children and their education, although there always have been good teachers, Pythagoras, Aristoteles, Confucius and 'jesus' to name a few. In fact a good teacher doesn't need to submit his pupils to his authority, that 'authority' comes naturally when you are able and have the skills to make your pupils feel comfortable and safe and get their attention by making the lessons appealing and interesting for the children.

Of course set some rules and stick to it, children need structure, but they also need love, fun and the inspiration and inquisitiveness to learn.

School and learning ought to be pleasant and not an exercition in obedience and submission.

[Crackedeggs]

When Kendal came over to the old board and gave us that load of shit about what a wonderful loving mother she is, I did not believe her.

I have children, and something about the way Kendal talks about her girls just doesn't sit right with me.

For the past two days she has zeroed back in on her first love: Obedience and Discipline.

She is so obsessed with these topics that she barely seems able to function normally for fear of missing an opportunity to "discipline". It's like she thrives on it, which scares the hell out of me.

If you are tweeting :o You might be missing an opportunity to "discipline".

If you are on facebook :o You might be missing an opportunity to "discipline".

Remember, they're only little once!

Gah, there is something off with this chick. It's too damn bad she didn't stick to her nursing job. She would have probably never gotten into this crap, and her kids wouldn't be stuck in the house 24/7 with a hyper disciplinarian. :(

Only too bad if she didn't work with children as a nurse. I had to deal with one of those types today.. Nurse Ratchet .. with my kid ... no. If Kendell is a pediatric nurse, someone needs to take her down.

[deelaem]

If Kendull is back to her obsession with training and discipline, then I'm becoming rather concerned for her children. I don't like to make direct comparisons, but it's starting to sound like the frame of mind Andrea Yates was in. She was desperately afraid that her children wouldn't come out "right" according to harsh fundamentalist standards. While I don't think Kendull is mentally ill in the same way Yates is, I think her extreme controlling and anxiety might make for an explosive situation for those kids.