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THIS is why I didn't believe her.... - Kendal


Koala

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When Kendal came over to the old board and gave us that load of shit about what a wonderful loving mother she is, I did not believe her.

I have children, and something about the way Kendal talks about her girls just doesn't sit right with me.

For the past two days she has zeroed back in on her first love: Obedience and Discipline.

She is so obsessed with these topics that she barely seems able to function normally for fear of missing an opportunity to "discipline". It's like she thrives on it, which scares the hell out of me.

If you are tweeting :o You might be missing an opportunity to "discipline".

If you are on facebook :o You might be missing an opportunity to "discipline".

Remember, they're only little once!

Gah, there is something off with this chick. It's too damn bad she didn't stick to her nursing job. She would have probably never gotten into this crap, and her kids wouldn't be stuck in the house 24/7 with a hyper disciplinarian. :(

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The more someone goes on about what a loving mother she is, the less I believe her. Truly loving parents don't feel the need to sing their own praises. They're too busy being, you know, loving parents.

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There's something wrong if time spent online = time away from nagging and whipping your children.

The only acceptable thing to do online, obviously, is blogging about said "disciplining" :roll:

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She should have bought robots instead of having children. Children are human beings and will not ever be unquestioningly obedient unless their survival depends on it.

She is going to fuck up those kids making them fucked up adults.

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She should have bought robots instead of having children. Children are human beings and will not ever be unquestioningly obedient unless their survival depends on it.

She is going to fuck up those kids making them fucked up adults.

What breaks my heart, is that they NEVER get a break from it. They are with her 24 hours a day. I can't imagine spending that much time with someone who was dedicated to sniffing out every.single.thing you did "wrong".

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If she is having to 'discipline' her kids that often, then I would say either she is a really shitty parent, or her kids have behavioural issues that need looking at.

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She should have bought robots instead of having children. Children are human beings and will not ever be unquestioningly obedient unless their survival depends on it.

She is going to fuck up those kids making them fucked up adults.

She is like a robot. One thing is for sure, she is not raising them to be independent and capable of making their own decisions.

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You know, I'm not a supporter of family violence (or violence of any kid, really), but it would serve these parents right if one day, when the kid was being trained, they turned around and "trained" the parent right back. My stepdad's dad was a bit of a tyrant and he beat the hell out of my stepdad on a regular basis--until one day my stepdad had enough and fought back. He said at the time it made him sick to his stomach to beat his own father like that(even though his father didn't seem to have a problem punching his own son), but he just couldn't take it anymore--and his dad never laid a hand on him again. Probably not the best way to solve things, but I can certainly understand when something like this happens. Also, this happened in the late to mid 50's in the mountains of Idaho. I'm sure child abuse wasn't taken near as seriously as it is now.

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If she is having to 'discipline' her kids that often, then I would say either she is a really shitty parent, or her kids have behavioural issues that need looking at.

Well, in case her children have behavioural issues there is fair chance it is because she is a shitty parent.

But she talks about training and absolute obedience, she is really very creepy.

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She shoudn't have had children with these expectations. They're people, not robots. Those poor children.

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If you are constantly 'training' or disciplining, you are doing it wrong. A sure sign that something isn't working is when you have to do it over and over and over.

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You know, I'm not a supporter of family violence (or violence of any kid, really), but it would serve these parents right if one day, when the kid was being trained, they turned around and "trained" the parent right back. My stepdad's dad was a bit of a tyrant and he beat the hell out of my stepdad on a regular basis--until one day my stepdad had enough and fought back. He said at the time it made him sick to his stomach to beat his own father like that(even though his father didn't seem to have a problem punching his own son), but he just couldn't take it anymore--and his dad never laid a hand on him again. Probably not the best way to solve things, but I can certainly understand when something like this happens. Also, this happened in the late to mid 50's in the mountains of Idaho. I'm sure child abuse wasn't taken near as seriously as it is now.

Back when I was a very young, overwhelmed, frustrated mother, I once spanked my oldest son with a wooden spoon. It wasn't hard as I never got the ability to spank hard but more like a swat that startled rather than hurt. Anyway I swated him just once with the spoon and he grabbed the spoon from me and swatted me with it! :o He was laughing the whole time that I swatted him and he me. I of course felt like 3 inches tall and begged his forgiveness and promised never to strike him like that again. I was shocked that I struck him and shocked that he struck me! I soon learned other methods from my doctor in dealing with my children and myself when one of them was out of control. My oldest was only about 2-3 at the time and I still haven't forgiven my self for swatting him with a spoon even though he says knowing himself that he probally was just asking for it. When I did forget myself and swatted it never was more than once on the diapered butt or hand and never heard enough to make my child cry out. I found time outs for them and me, and being sent to the bedroom for a few minutes worked far better than having my toddler son swat me.

Please don't flame me everyone, I was a dumb mother back in those days who has since learned my lesson.

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Well, in case her children have behavioural issues there is fair chance it is because she is a shitty parent.

But she talks about training and absolute obedience, she is really very creepy.

ITA If they are actually acting up (I kind of doubt it though) she is the one causing it and I don't think there is a chance she is a shitty parent, I'm pretty sure she is. I think there is something wrong with her the way she is obsessed with training her kids.

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If she is having to 'discipline' her kids that often, then I would say either she is a really shitty parent, or her kids have behavioural issues that need looking at.

I agree. I have the feeling that she likes being the domineering disciplining mom. I can honestly see her being a the type of parent to hit her kids for any little thing.

I grew up in a culture that is ok with spanking and hitting when kids do something really bad. But most people in my culture would never hit their kids for little things like accidentally spilling or breaking things. I have heard of some fundies that spank or hit for anything. I can see Kendal being one of those people.

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ITA If they are actually acting up (I kind of doubt it though) she is the one causing it and I don't think there is a chance she is a shitty parent, I'm pretty sure she is. I think there is something wrong with her the way she is obsessed with training her kids.

Yes of course she is. But to be on the safe side, it is not always the parent who causes issues, there are many other reasons.

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Yes of course she is. But to be on the safe side, it is not always the parent who causes issues, there are many other reasons.

I would give that benefit of a doubt to most people, but not to Kendal. She spends way to much time talking about how she disciplines her children yet she "forgets" what they are doing to deserve the discipline. If they had true behavior issues she would have been willing to share what they did to deserve all the discipline she heaps on them. Those poor kids. :(

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I would give that benefit of a doubt to most people, but not to Kendal. She spends way to much time talking about how she disciplines her children yet she "forgets" what they are doing to deserve the discipline. If they had true behavior issues she would have been willing to share what they did to deserve all the discipline she heaps on them. Those poor kids. :(

You don't forget what you discipline your kids for. Daily interaction, yeah, you can forget how many times you say 'no, don't do that', 'put that away', 'stop running in the house'. Discipline is a specific, direct action. In reasonable people, it is reserved for actual infractions - intentional behavior by the child - and most don't like to do it. Kendal fails to understand the distinction between teaching and raising your kids, and disciplining them. Discipline is a consequence while raising and teaching are simply lifes lessons and interactions.

That just convinces me even more than she is punishing her kids for being kids.

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Kendal says

Truth is, we can’t effectively train our children on the side. We can’t discipline them here and there. We can’t teach when we’ve got a free moment. We can’t mother intermittently.

How often do her kids need discipline? In my house, I consider it a really bad day if I have to be negative with even one of the children, even once. If you are really teaching them (when you got a free moment, as she puts it), then they should be creatures that you can live with. Most things can be dealt with positively and quickly. If they spill something, hand them a towel. You don't need to look up the Bible verses applicable to the situation, just.hand.them.a.towel. It's not rocket science, and it certainly is something I can fit between studying, working and having a social life.

Kendal says

So ladies, may I encourage you, as I do my own daughters, to give training and discipline your first and full attention.

No thanks. My kids don't need constant training and discipline, and that sounds like a miserable fucking way to live.

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I would give that benefit of a doubt to most people, but not to Kendal. She spends way to much time talking about how she disciplines her children yet she "forgets" what they are doing to deserve the discipline. If they had true behavior issues she would have been willing to share what they did to deserve all the discipline she heaps on them. Those poor kids. :(

Yes, I absolutely agree.

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Kendal says

How often do her kids need discipline? In my house, I consider it a really bad day if I have to be negative with even one of the children, even once. If you are really teaching them (when you got a free moment, as she puts it), then they should be creatures that you can live with. Most things can be dealt with positively and quickly. If they spill something, hand them a towel. You don't need to look up the Bible verses applicable to the situation, just.hand.them.a.towel. It's not rocket science, and it certainly is something I can fit between studying, working and having a social life.

Kendal says

No thanks. My kids don't need constant training and discipline, and that sounds like a miserable fucking way to live.

Well said!

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I can still remember (painfully) the first time I gave my son a swat on his diapered butt. I am guessing he was around age 2, since that's when children often go through growth phases that can make them act out, have melt-downs, etc. The look of shock and hurt in his eyes, that his own mother had hit him, made me feel absolutely horrible. It wasn't even a hard spank, but I had broken a trust between us two. I spanked him a few more times on occasion afterward, but each time felt worse than the time before until I made the decision to stop spanking altogether and find other ways to encourage the behavior I wanted. Sometimes that meant I had to let him kick and scream it out on the living room floor until the tantrum passed.

My son is a teenager now, and we have a give and take relationship. Sometimes he's a little mouthy, but for the most part, he's a great kid. I trust him, he's a good student, a helpful grandson, and overall, just a super sweet kid. Spanking is not necessary in order to raise a wonderful child into an adult.

BTW, I and my sibs were spanked (occasionally) as children. I don't have any resentment toward my parents for doing so. It was a different time, and they spanked only when they felt it was appropriate. Also, my dad was the one who usually did the spanking and it was never done in anger, but more logically. As in, "you know rule A. I gave you a warning you were breaking Rule A. You did it again. Thus, you are being spanked."

The rules were clear and fair. We knew the consequences if we went over the line. For the most part, we chose to follow the rules. My parents were motivated by love and wanting us to grow up well. We weren't seen as full of sin and needing constant reproval or else we were going to hell. The few spankings were greatly outweighed by feeling safe, secure and loved within the family unit.

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I can still remember (painfully) the first time I gave my son a swat on his diapered butt. I am guessing he was around age 2, since that's when children often go through growth phases that can make them act out, have melt-downs, etc. The look of shock and hurt in his eyes, that his own mother had hit him, made me feel absolutely horrible. It wasn't even a hard spank, but I had broken a trust between us two. I spanked him a few more times on occasion afterward, but each time felt worse than the time before until I made the decision to stop spanking altogether and find other ways to encourage the behavior I wanted. Sometimes that meant I had to let him kick and scream it out on the living room floor until the tantrum passed.

My son is a teenager now, and we have a give and take relationship. Sometimes he's a little mouthy, but for the most part, he's a great kid. I trust him, he's a good student, a helpful grandson, and overall, just a super sweet kid. Spanking is not necessary in order to raise a wonderful child into an adult.

BTW, I and my sibs were spanked (occasionally) as children. I don't have any resentment toward my parents for doing so. It was a different time, and they spanked only when they felt it was appropriate. Also, my dad was the one who usually did the spanking and it was never done in anger, but more logically. As in, "you know rule A. I gave you a warning you were breaking Rule A. You did it again. Thus, you are being spanked."

The rules were clear and fair. We knew the consequences if we went over the line. For the most part, we chose to follow the rules. My parents were motivated by love and wanting us to grow up well. We weren't seen as full of sin and needing constant reproval or else we were going to hell. The few spankings were greatly outweighed by feeling safe, secure and loved within the family unit.

My younger son was diagnosed as a kidney patient at the age of 5. Of course his father and I were devastated.

I remember his 6th birthday, I heard screaming and I found out his older brother had smacked him. I got so angry and upset that I lashed ou to my older son and a nose bleed was the result.

I started crying, my older son remained stoic, I told him I shouldn't have done that over and over.

It is about 24 years ago and I still cringe and get sick when I think about it. My son, he knows the story because over the years I told him, but he hardly remembers it.

I have never laid a finger on my children again.

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