Chelsy and John Maxwell 5; Pregnant, but Still Waiting to Read about the Honeymoon

[fundiefan]

Steve doesn't like to get together with people in the same way most humans do. Most get together with others to share something, whether it's just the passing of time or share experiences or because you love someone and want to see them. 

Steve must be the leader. The one in charge. The dog and pony show they did for how many years put him in a position above those attending. All the families they met - and were fed by - and interacted with were minions & followers, not peers. And, as was already mentioned, the married kidults become 'relatives' rather than family once they marry. Their status changes when their position in Steve's bubble changes. As married adults with families of their own, they get to make the rules in their own house, so Steve sees them differently than those he can still control. 

By keeping his kidults so isolated, he guarantees they will only interact with those he interacts with, thus keeping his pecking order in place. Even Christopher & Joseph found brides among the followers, making the incoming family members perfectly in line and on board with the chain of command. 

Chelsy isn't from a group of followers. That right there makes her different within Maxhell. Her family has its own followers and its own ways, entirely separate from Steve. 

[SPHASH]

Another thing with the Bontragers and Judgy Chelsy is they don't edit or block comments on their blogs with the exception of Righteous Josh Bontrager.  Coward Steve only lets comments through that kiss his ass.

[nelliebelle1197]

11 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I'm going to show my ignorance of inter-fundy dynamics, but these people all seem to be in some weird interconnected community with differences in belief ... to a point.  

Does anyone know the difference in religious beliefs/practices between the Bontragers and Maxwells?

And...could it be a double edged sword for Steve in having one of his kids marry into what seems to me to be a much bigger name in fundy circles?  Like on one hand that's a good catch, but on the other I can see Steve being jealous as being the lesser known between the two?

I could be wrong - just interested in the dynamic.

This is the kind of thing that could fester forever in even non-fundy families.  Can you imagine the conversations that happened over THAT?

Chris has been in all the Maxwell weddings, so I don't think he has photographed any of them. He may have set up the video for Nathan's but it has been years and I don't recall.

[Captain Obvious]

12 hours ago, fundiefan said:

She is still a dangerous fundie through and through, as is her family. The Bontragers are not "better" people than the Maxwells. They just package themselves differently. And even that is a threat to Steve.

i'm not sure about that. At some point, Steve must made the decision that the Bontragers were acceptable, regardless of their packaging, for his unmarried children to mix with, and then for John to begin a relationship with Chelsy. He also agreed for the Maxwells to preach/present/whatever the fuck it is that they do at one of the Bontragers' Turning Hearts events last year (before it was cancelled for the double wedding). So while I think he'd probably prefer it if Chelsy were more like NR-Anna, it's obviously not a deal-breaker that she has slightly different standards in how she presents herself.

It's not just the Bontragers either - Sarah's friends the Leake girls also occasionally wear pants, so does Lolly Hale - those families are both longterm family friends whom Steve obviously doesn't have a problem with, since Sarah has been allowed to socialise with the Leake girls on her own and Joseph Hale (Lolly's husband) was one of John's groomsmen.

Besides, Steve can't really say he's been rigid on this, since his own family's presentation has shifted quite a bit to something more like modern modest (middle-aged modest?). We haven't seen frumpers or khakis for quite a while, and we have seen Sarah, Anna and Mary wearing makeup on special occasions and seen Sarah occasionally wear eyeliner and have highlights in her hair. 

Put it simply - I think Steve wouldn't approve of his own daughters going fully Chelsy in their presentation while they're under his 'protection', but objects less to such presentation in women married to his sons, and it's more of a peripheral issue than we think. So long as the non-negotiables are intact (fundie, homeschooling, no mixing with non-fundies except for the purpose of converting them, modesty standards that involve skirts 95% of the time, restrictions on acceptable music, no higher education except maybe online, sons earning money to buy debt-free) he's fine. And the Bontragers meet all of those standards.

[JermajestyDuggar]

32 minutes ago, Captain Obvious said:

i'm not sure about that. At some point, Steve must made the decision that the Bontragers were acceptable, regardless of their packaging, for his unmarried children to mix with, and then for John to begin a relationship with Chelsy. He also agreed for the Maxwells to preach/present/whatever the fuck it is that they do at one of the Bontragers' Turning Hearts events last year (before it was cancelled for the double wedding). So while I think he'd probably prefer it if Chelsy were more like NR-Anna, it's obviously not a deal-breaker that she has slightly different standards in how she presents herself.

It's not just the Bontragers either - Sarah's friends the Leake girls also occasionally wear pants, so does Lolly Hale - those families are both longterm family friends whom Steve obviously doesn't have a problem with, since Sarah has been allowed to socialise with the Leake girls on her own and Joseph Hale (Lolly's husband) was one of John's groomsmen.

Besides, Steve can't really say he's been rigid on this, since his own family's presentation has shifted quite a bit to something more like modern modest (middle-aged modest?). We haven't seen frumpers or khakis for quite a while, and we have seen Sarah, Anna and Mary wearing makeup on special occasions and seen Sarah occasionally wear eyeliner and have highlights in her hair. 

Put it simply - I think Steve wouldn't approve of his own daughters going fully Chelsy in their presentation while they're under his 'protection', but objects less to such presentation in women married to his sons, and it's more of a peripheral issue than we think. So long as the non-negotiables are intact (fundie, homeschooling, no mixing with non-fundies except for the purpose of converting them, modesty standards that involve skirts 95% of the time, restrictions on acceptable music, no higher education except maybe online, sons earning money to buy debt-free) he's fine. And the Bontragers meet all of those standards.

I agree with you although I do wonder if Steve would be uncomfortable with Jesse matching up with Allison. I don’t think it will happen because their personalities seem to be quite different. But I kind of think Steve wouldn’t be super thrilled by a match like that. 

[Captain Obvious]

1 minute ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I agree with you although I do wonder if Steve would be uncomfortable with Jesse matching up with Allison. I don’t think it will happen because their personalities seem to be quite different. But I kind of think Steve wouldn’t be super thrilled by a match like that. 

I don't think he'd have a problem with it, since Allison seems to be the more traditional one of the two sisters - wears less make-up, appears to be more organised and possibly quieter, publicly nurtures her brothers' manhood...

I was actually surprised John ended up with Chelsy anyway - I thought Allison would be a more Maxwellian choice. 

[AnnaSofia]

I don't follow the Maxwells super closely, so I could be off base here, but John seemed to push Maxhell boundaries more than his older siblings did. I suspect Steve bit his tongue on Chelsy because even if she doesn't fit his usual criteria for a daughter-in-law, he was afraid that if he tried to forbid the marriage, John might truly rebel. He's been allowed just enough of what he wants to pacify him and keep him in the fold.

[Lgirlrocks]

New blog post up. Chelsy has such a beautiful pregnancy glow. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

29 minutes ago, Lgirlrocks said:

New blog post up. Chelsy has such a beautiful pregnancy glow. 

They're making kombucha, which is alcoholic?

Maxwells making homebrew?

[HerNameIsBuffy]

I think it's creepy how she calls them "the sisters," "the neices and nephews."  But she does say "my family" when speaking of her own.

I remember being young and a therapist calling my mom out on referring to her siblings "the brothers and sisters" saying it was indicative of detachment.

 

[Howl]

Kombucha is fermented in the same sense as sauerkraut and yogurt.  No alcohol is involved.  Bacteria is at work, but not making alcohol.  I can't stand kombucha, but some people love it and drink several bottles a day, including my acupuncture lady. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

4 minutes ago, Howl said:

Kombucha is fermented in the same sense as sauerkraut and yogurt.  No alcohol is involved.  Bacteria is at work, but not making alcohol.  I can't stand kombucha, but some people love it and drink several bottles a day, including my acupuncture lady. 

I had never heard of it and Wikipedia said it was slightly alcoholic - maybe there are different types?

Quote

Kombucha (also tea mushroom, tea fungus, or Manchurian mushroom when referring to the culture; botanical name Medusomyces gisevii Lindau[1]) is a fermented, slightly alcoholic, lightly effervescent, sweetened black or green tea drink commonly intended as a functional beverage for its supposed health benefits. 

 

[sleepy_doggos]

Kombucha has a slight amount of alcohol (1% or less). I used it brew it when I worked at a tea shop.

[SPHASH]

Stud John you are defrauding me with those sexy legs!

[sleepy_doggos]

Stud John you are defrauding me with those sexy legs!

I do not get the love for John around here! (yes I know you are being facetious lol) but studlike he is not!

[mango_fandango]

He’s better looking than the other Maxwell men IMO. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Did you guys also noticed that JEANED leg in the Buckinghale family photo?

BTW, which of those cute little Buckinghales had a Trump themed birthday party? Oldest? Second oldest? I can’t remember.

[fundiefan]

I don't get the John love either. He looks far too much like Steve for me to even grasp the idea. But, hey, we all have different perspectives.

About Chelsy using "the" to describe people - - I definitely use "the" instead of "my" as a way of detachment. The ex husband, the former boss, the creepy neighbor. When I am not conveying my disdain, I say my sister, my friend, my coworker. 

For me it's very intentional and in some cases, like with the ex, it's complete habit.

I don't imagine that Chelsy has that level of intentional detachment though. She's been raised to be overly respectful to certain people. Maxwells & Bontragers both raised their families with an almost idol-worthy level of esteem for family.

Of course, I could totally be wrong and it could very well be her way of throwing shade.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Sheesh did Chelsy make this post just for FJ? The Buckinghales, Sarah Mally, and some Burnett sisters all in one post. 

[Odd1Out]

Who are the Burnett sisters? Are they in the photo referring to bring in Oklahoma?

[fundiefan]

Just now, Odd1Out said:

Who are the Burnett sisters? Are they in the photo referring to bring in Oklahoma?

They were at the Duggar wedding. They are the sisters of the newest Duggar wife. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Just now, Odd1Out said:

Who are the Burnett sisters? Are they in the photo referring to bring in Oklahoma?

The sisters of Abbie Burnett who just married John David Duggar. Chelsy and John went to their wedding. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

17 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

He’s better looking than the other Maxwell men IMO. 

I still think he and Joseph are the same person, Steve is just trying to pad his numbers.

They are identical.

13 minutes ago, fundiefan said:

Of course, I could totally be wrong and it could very well be her way of throwing shade.

It may not be and could still be detachment.  My mom wasn't doing it intentionally but I think the distancing thing was accurate.

Then she calls John's sisters and SILs "sisters in love" which is just ... sickly sweet to me so I should give up trying to understand these people.

[WiseGirl]

Drat, now I want donuts... She should be the one writing the food blog, not Jill Dillard.

[nastyhobbitses]

18 hours ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

Chris has been in all the Maxwell weddings, so I don't think he has photographed any of them. He may have set up the video for Nathan's but it has been years and I don't recall.

He photographed Joe and Elissa's wedding (it's on his portfolio website). Like all of his wedding photo albums, everything is staged/framed as awkwardly as humanly possible, the lighting is so horrifically unflattering that it would make Heidi Klum look hideous, he takes photos of really random shit (like the parking lot), and he has everyone do the same stock poses at every wedding (groomsmen High School Musical jump shot, bridal party demurely looking up at camera into lights that wash them the fuck out, autofocus picture of the couple holding up their rings like that scene in Fellowship of the Ring).

I can't decide if he's better or worse than the ridiculously airbrush-happy lady who photographs the Bateseseseseses.